Wild-filly - At last! The first chapter of my Harry Potter and Dragonball Z crossover is uploaded! *bursts into most uncharacteristic fit of happiness* It nearly killed me, going in and out of completely different stories, but I've got big plans for this one *evil laughter*.

All characters - *glance nervously at insane author*

Wild-filly - I resent that! I am not insane, I'm just.special.in strange ways ^_^;

Ron - So, just what does this Dragonball Z rubbish have to do with the Harry Potter series anyway?

Vegeta - TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!!!! *ki-blasts Ron into a charred pile of ash*

Wild-filly - STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!! Honestly, you just can't get agreeable characters these days *uses Magic Keyboard to bring Ron back to life* Ron, you in one corner, Vegeta, you in the other.

Ron and Vegeta - *glare daggers at each other and suicidal author*

Wild-filly - O.o; I think I should probably get on with the story.I'll get a friendlier character to do the disclaimer.

Disclaimer - *crickets chirp* Where are the co-operative characters??? Brilliant, you'd think they weren't supporting my story or anything *ducks barrage of rubbish and homework from cast* Aaahhh!!! Ok, I don't own Harry Potter (or the other wizardy folk) or Dragonball Z, HELP!!!! *flees for cover as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Vegeta, Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks and Piccolo start another barrage of food scraps*

*Chapter 1*

Murky grey clouds circled the inky night sky, gently spreading a thick blanket of crisp white snow over the vast castle grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Delicate snowflakes spun through the air, finally coming to rest on the high arched window of the Gryffindor common room, making it virtually impossible to see into the festively decked chamber. A towering fir tree stood in pride of place in the middle of the room; its leafy branches hung with shiny red baubles and golden tinsel. Crackling near a formidable mountain of discarded wrapping paper, was a small log fire which reflected the tinsel's glitter and threw gold shards of light around what would be an other-words darkened room. In front of the glowing fireplace, five people were stationed either on the thick red rug or on a deep crimson armchair.

Hermione Granger was curled up on a plushy armchair, knees drawn up underneath her and a huge leather-bound book was resting midway on her lap and the arm of the chair. Pouring eagerly over the 'History of Egyptian Witchcraft' which Ron and Harry had teamed up to buy her for Christmas, Hermione was obviously stronger than she looked, since the book probably weighed more than the room's occupants put together and had taken a whole team of giant horned owls to deliver.

Harry was kneeling on the floor, carefully tucking his newly-polished Firebolt into a soft leather travelling case courtesy of Sirius. The black leather case would be considerably safer to carry the broom in, rather than wrapped in clothes at the bottom of his trunk. Glancing up at Fred and George, who were working on new Christmas style 'inventions', Harry was well timed and positioned to duck a particularly violent Attacking Cracker which had wrestled itself out of the iron storage box.

"Be careful with those things!" growled Harry as he tore the cheerfully gnawing cracker from the hem of his robes. The cracker hissed at him, red and gold striped motive flashing dangerously as it strove to bit his fingers in any way possible. Fred grinned, reaching over and expertly grabbing the disgruntled cracker and stuffing it back in the box. "Bet nobody was expecting that at the Christmas Feast, eh?" Harry had to agree; Fred and George had placed their Attacking Crackers at the seating places of certain unpopular Slytherins.

Ron looked up from where he was sprawled on the rug, grinning enthusiastically, "I wonder if Malfoy still has his left ear? From what I saw that cracker was enjoying chewing it too much to let go!" George patted the box proudly, "still New Years to come, maybe one of these beauties can take care of the right for him!"

Hermione glanced up from her book, "you're lucky that you weren't given detention for that, Dumbledore knew it was you, nobody else would make those ridiculous things!" "Awh, don't worry about it Hermione, as if those two would ever admit it!" encouraged Ron, plucking at his maroon jumper while Fred and George glared at him.

"I hate maroon," commented Ron passionately, "why do I always get maroon? It's not like I don't ask for other colours, no matter what, I always end up with it, if not from mum, then from some aunt."

Hermione's eyes brightened up considerably. She flicked the massive book shut with a crack, sat up and fixed Ron with a decisive stare, "why don't you change the colour then, since you hate it so much?" Ron stared back, utterly astonished at the idea. "Unless you actually enjoy complaining about it?" conceded Hermione, "it's your choice after all."

Ron's astonished expression dropped and he retorted, "I don't complain!" Hermione rolled her eyes in disgust, "in that case, I apologise. So why don't you change it?" Moving his stare apprehensively to the jumper he wore, Ron hastily pulled it off and lay it on the rug; eyes crossing slightly from the effort to remember the colour-changing spell. Harry pushed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose, got up from the floor and wandered over to sit beside Ron, his own mind trying to remember the spell.

**There was a very long pause during which Ron, Harry, Fred and George all raked through their memories for the spell. Hermione rolled her eyes, folding her arms in utter disgust and tried to keep herself from screaming out the answer in frustration**

After 10 minutes of solid indecisiveness, Hermione shattered the silence with an agonising moan. "Do ANY of you actually /Iread/I the Standard Book of Spells, over does it just take root to the bottom of your book- bag?" Hermione stared desperately at each of them in turn, refusing to believe that none of her friends took learning the Standard Spells seriously. Harry, Ron, Fred and George each held her stare for a moment and then proceeded to examine the flagstones surrounding the crimson rug. Hermione raised her arms high above her head in mock dramatic despair and addressed the tinsel-edged ceiling, "it's only one of the easiest spells there is after all."

Ron rolled his eyes, glanced at Harry, scrambled unsteadily to his feet and grabbed Hermione's shoulder, "couldn't you just tell us what it is instead of all these theatrics?" Hermione shook his hand off and replied in superior tones, "it's 'spectrumus.' and then the colour you want the jumper to change into." "Great! Thanks Hermione!" Ron's hand plunged into the pocket of his black robes, foraged through the sweet wrappers and crumbs until he pulled out an extremely battered wand. "Wait!" called Harry, quickly standing up and grabbing the chipped wand before Ron could cast the spell, "where's your new one?" Ron glanced down in surprise at his old wand, "why's this one in my pocket? I thought I left it in my trunk, I guess I must have grabbed the wrong one." George moved in for a closer look, taking in the chips, scratches, spellotape and the silvery unicorn hair poking out one end, "you should get rid of that thing Ron, it's pretty dangerous like that. It could really cause some damage if the spell backfired."

Ron glared at George while the rest of the room began to snicker at the thought of Ron changing a different colour. "It blasted Lockhart for us once, how could I have it destroyed after that?!" George nodded; it was a perfectly good reason. Hermione reached over and took the wand from Ron's hands, "it's far too dangerous to attempt a new spell with a broken wand, especially if the wand's known to backfire." A frown flickered across Ron's freckled face, "you never know," he murmured, "maybe it'll work this time". Pulling the wand from Hermione's grasp, Ron steeled himself, ignoring what common sense told him. The wand /Icould/I work, there's no reason why it shouldn't do such a simple little spell with any trouble. Anyway, he'd had it looked at when he bought his new wand and had been told that the wand could perform some small, simple spells without too much difficulty. "Spectrumus Red!" Ron bellowed, flicking the wand at the maroon jumper on the ground. As a huge jet of scarlet light erupted from the wand, Hermione screamed "NO! THAT'S THE WRONG MOVEMENT!!!" Harry, Fred and George however, decided it would be much wiser to dive onto the flagstones and take cover under the furniture. "Uh oh", moaned Ron as the scarlet beam stopped and began to revolve, twisting like a spiral, slowly at first and then faster and faster.

*

Sprawled on the royal-blue velvet sofa, Gohan eyed the excited chibis warily as the terrible two ransacked the main living room of Capsule Corp. in search of just one Christmas present that had been overlooked. "We /Ican't/I have found them all, Trunks!" whined Goten pathetically, turning the famous Son Puppy Eyes to Gohan from where he was sandwiched under the coffee table. "Don't look at me, Goten!" yelped Gohan, trying to avoid being brainwashed by his younger brother's best natural defence, "why don't you just play with the ones you have?"

Large onyx eyes blinking enthusiastically, Goten nodded happily and leapt into the veritable mountain of toys that was on his side of the circular room; separated from Trunks's pile only by the now-very-bedraggled Christmas fir tree. Trunks sighed, plucking absentmindedly at his muted sea-green gi and burrowed into the depths of his own gift mound, shredding away plastic wrappings and attempting to connect a Playstation 2 to the silver wide-screen TV without the benefit of connector cables. Gohan rolled his eyes and staggered to his feet, shuffling resigned behind the sofa, lying facedown on the colour-coordinated royal blue carpet just as there was a huge explosion from the centre of Goten's toy bundle.

Shaking the plaster that had come crashing down from the ceiling out of his spiky black hair, Gohan stood up again, "if you want a plastic wrapping open Goten, just ask me, ok?" "Ok niichan", agreed Goten sheepishly, pulling at his partially-scorched orange gi and attempting to brush the incriminating lumps of plaster under the gift wrappings.

Trunks gave a sudden yelp of pain as the TV shot blue sparks out of the socket he had been trying to plug the PS2 in. "That goes for you as well, Trunks" added Gohan, forcibly removing the PS2 from the chibi's singed fingers and correctly connecting the cables to the TV.

As Goten and Trunks crouched in front of the TV, eagerly ploughing through the stack of games that had been given to them by Bulma in hopes of keeping them remotely quiet while she and Chi-Chi cooked Christmas dinner, Gohan pondered silently to himself on exactly how he had gotten into this mess. 'Wrong place at the right time', he concluded finally; remembering that Chi- Chi had been feeling fairly harassed when he came into the kitchen asking for food. Come to think of it, he was lucky he hadn't been whacked across the side of the head with that infamous Frying Pan of hers into the bargain with babysitting the miniature horrors.

"SON GOKU! I TOLD YOU TO STAY /BAWAY/B FROM THE FRIDGE! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!" The echoing screech from the cavernous Capsule Corp. kitchens was accompanied with a hideous crashing noise that made Gohan wince in agony for his father's skull.

Harried out of the kitchen like a dog with muddy paws, one of the most powerful creatures in the universe was chased into the narrow curved hallway, rubbing a throbbing bruise on the side of his head and wearing a hurt expression. Gohan shook his head and grinned at his father through the open living room door, "I warned you dad, mum is NOT in a good mood today". Still rubbing the purple bruise gingerly, Goku looked like an over- grown version of Goten as he grinned sheepishly and nodded, "I guess I should have left that plum pudding alone after all."

Before Gohan could remind his father that he had in fact foretold his mother's reaction to Goku being in the kitchen, there was an explosion from upstairs so vicious that it threw several golden baubles off the battered Christmas tree and sent some admittedly tacky paintings off the wall. Goku gave a moan of agony as a Santa ornament bounced off a high shelf and landed perfectly on his egg-shaped bruise, "where did that come from?" Gohan walked over to the hallway and pointed up the solid marble staircase, "well, the ornament fell off the shelf and the explosion came from upstairs.I guess Vegeta didn't appreciate that book he got for Christmas". "What book was this?" questioned Goku, intrigued. "Anger Management for Dummies", snickered Gohan, "you should have seen the look on his face when he found THAT under the tree. If looks could kill, then everyone within a 100km radius would have dropped dead from brutal causes".

Turning away from Tony Hawk's Pro-Skater 4, Trunks's cerulean eyes glinted evilly as he said, "don't you think dad liked the gift I gave him?" "That /Iyou/I gave him?" retorted Goten furiously, abandoning his controller, "I helped buy it too remember!" Goku and Gohan sweat-dropped simultaneously, "uh, I wouldn't go telling people about that, guys", muttered Gohan cautiously, glancing around in case of being overheard. "Yeah", agreed Goku loudly, "who knows what Vegeta would do if he found out?"

"Found out what?" came a soft voice from the top of the marble staircase. Turning around, Gohan gave a nervous laugh. *Dende, he'd better not have heard that last conversation or it will NOT be a very merry Christmas after he attacks us and everyone ends up concussed by mum's frying pan* warned Gohan silently, "oh, nothing Vegeta. How was your training?" he answered cheerfully. Vegeta ignored Gohan as usual, marched down the stairway and shoved past the father and son duo on his way towards the kitchen. As his Royal Shortness disappeared through the white swinging doors; Goku, Gohan, Goten and Trunks all began to count in unison, smirks playing on every face, "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one aaannnddd."

"GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN!!!" came Bulma's banshee scream along with yet another clatter as Chi-Chi's Frying Pan of Doom connected with a Saiyan skull. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT?! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!" came Vegeta's answering roar. This time there there was a louder crash and a long silence.

Goku glanced nervously at Gohan and tentatively pushed the gleaming white door open, walking quietly into the kitchen lest he incur his wife's wrath again. Trunks got up from where he was sitting cross-legged on the carpet and jogged over to the doorframe where Gohan was standing transfixed, "do you think they killed him?" Jolting back to reality, Gohan shook his head, "nah, it would take more than a frying pan to take out your dad, although if our mothers both had frying pans." Gohan shook himself mentally; no, Vegeta wasn't dead. Unconscious maybe, but not dead.

Finally Goku emerged; Vegeta wearing a concussed expression as Goku towed him by the wrist out of immediate danger and guided him to the sofa. "Are you alright dad?" asked Trunks cautiously, edging over to where Vegeta was struggling to remain upright on the couch. Staring unseeingly at his son, Vegeta's eyes slowly glazed over and he smiled faintly as he fell forwards unconscious into the pile of wrapping paper. Trunks and Goku delved through the seemingly bottomless pile and finally shifted Vegeta back onto the couch and shook their heads in amusement. He'd live all right, and he wouldn't be happy to find out that Kakarott was the one who saved him from the banshees' clutches.

Gohan was trying his hardest not to laugh when he felt Piccolo's ki enter the room. "Hey Mr Piccolo", called Goten excitedly, "did you bring me a Christmas present?" "Christmas present?" asked the Namekian, a puzzled expression writ clearly across his face. "Christmas is a holiday", explained Gohan as he walked over to greet his friend and former sensei. "What brings you over here, Piccolo?"

Jerking his head in the direction of the blue sofa, Piccolo replied, "I felt Vegeta's ki drop considerably, I thought that you might need some help here." "Nah, he just annoyed Bulma and Chi-Chi", laughed Goku, "neither of them are enjoying our company very much; especially when we enter the kitchen". Piccolo looked for a moment as if he might ask why, but seemed to decide that he really didn't want to know.

**Miles above the Earth, reclining on a deck-chair positioned at the very edge of the Lookout, Dende; the Guardian of Earth; was mindlessly drunk. Frowning in distaste at his master, Mr Popo attempted to remove the fortieth carton of eggnog from the young Namekian's grasp. Shaken from his drunken stupor, Dende latched on even harder to the half-full carton, "NO! It's *hic* mine!" "I think you've had more than enough Dende", said Mr Popo reproachfully, "I know it's Christmas, but all those Pina Coladas were plenty, let alone this amount of eggnog".

Dende leapt to his feet and was about to burst into a furious answer on how immune he was to the powers of alcohol, when the hem of his cloak tangled on the arms of the sunny-yellow deck-chair and sent the young God sprawling onto the polished white tiles. Sighing resignedly, Mr Popo heaved the dazed Dende back onto his feet. Blinking slightly, Dende's brow furrowed as something forced him to return slightly to sanity. A portal? Someone was trying to open a portal from another dimension into this world! But how? Nobody in their right mind would want to enter this domain.

Dende was just about to focus all of his Guardian powers into pushing away the magical field, until he realised just where the portal was opening. Capsule Corp? How could he pass off such a great opportunity??? Grinning with malicious intent, Dende removed his own magical barriers so that the portal could open.right in the middle of the Capsule Corp. living room.**

"Um, I'm willing to bet that's not a good sign", remarked Gohan as a huge, crimson spiralling portal flickered into existence where the Christmas tree used to be. "What is that thing?" asked Goten, awestruck, reaching out with trembling fingertips to poke the middle of the portal. "Goten! DON"T!" roared Goku in panic, but it was too late. In a scarlet flash of light, Goten had vanished.

Gohan leapt forward after his brother, Trunks right with him. Piccolo leant forward to grab Gohan's shoulder and pull him out of danger, just as Vegeta began to see straight and grabbed Trunks's collar; his intent unknown. In yet another flash, all four disappeared, leaving Goku undecided on his next move in the middle of a pile of wrapping paper. "SON GOKU! WHAT"S GOING ON OUT THERE?" came Chi-Chi's threatening bellow. Goku gulped nervously, weighing up his chances of survival in the unknown dimension, or in Capsule Corp. with his wife questioning their sons' whereabouts. Yep, unknown dimension definitely looked best. So Goku stepped into the portal just as it sealed itself with a scarlet flash, leaving the living room of Capsule Corp. completely devoid of inhabitants.





Please review, I'll make sure I write more unless I get killed by my own cast *glares at mutinous characters who are stalking around the computer desk*