Disclaimer: The basic plot for this story is my idea, however The Fairly OddParents and all characters involved belong to Butch Hartman.
Chapter Eight-- "Against All Odds"
Crocker seemed more paranoid than usual as he resumed teaching once again. He kept pacing over to the door, sticking his head out, checking the hall, then pacing in front of the chalkboard for a few moments--only to repeat everything in a very distinct pattern.
"What's eating him?" Chester muttered to Timmy.
"Beats me," Timmy shrugged, "But maybe it'll eat him out of my house and home...whatever it is."
"Wishful thinking, Sweetie?" Wanda--disguised as an eraser--asked.
"Why don't you just wish Crocker away, Timmy?" Cosmo--disguised as a green pencil--piped up.
"I can't do that, Cosmo," Timmy replied, "It would be too obvious and it would only feed his suspicions. No. I have to get rid of him without magic. It's the only safe way to go."
Crocker's relief could never be adequately expressed with words when the sound of the final bell met his anxious ears. The sooner he got out of the school, the better. His mother knew where he worked, but she had no clue where he was living. He would be in the safe zone as soon as he returned to Timmy's house.
"Well, there's the bell, children," he blurted, speaking more rapidly than usual, "Time for everyone to leave! Go! Run down the halls screaming with joy and trample anyone who stands in your way!"
Timmy jumped up to follow the rest of the class, but Crocker reached out and snagged the back of his shirt in a white-knuckled fist.
"Not you," he hissed, "You have to ride home with me. I don't trust you, Turner. If my mother shows up and interrogates you on my whereabouts, you'll crack without thinking twice."
Timmy found it wiser to just go along with it rather than argue. Crocker wasn't someone to fight with when he was calm, so Timmy would never dream of arguing with him when he was as frantic as he was then and there. He calmly followed Crocker out to his van, where he got another terrifying ride. He was more than grateful when the demented teacher screeched to a stop in the driveway. Nauseated by Crocker's horrible driving, Timmy staggered into his house with the lunatic trailing behind.
"Ugh! What's that smell?" Timmy gagged, plugging his nose as some disgusting scent greeted his nose when he walked in the door.
"Fairies!" Crocker screamed impulsively.
"No. The bathroom," Mrs. Turner replied, sporting a clothespin on her nose, "Your father polished off the last of the leftover baked beans for lunch this afternoon, Timmy. Went right through him."
"Gah! What'd he do?" Crocker wretches, drawing his shirt collar up over his nose, "Set off a nuclear bomb in there?"
"Might as well have," Timmy coughed, fanning the air with his hand, "Blech! I think I'm going to skip over to AJ's house to do my homework."
A few minutes later, Timmy set out for AJ's house. He couldn't help but feel as though he was being watched. Sure enough, he was. Timmy had a sneaking suspicion as to who was stalking him and it was starting to get on his nerves. Crocker--having no more desire to stay in the house amid the raunchy stench than Timmy did--was trailing his student, fairy detector in hand.
"I don't know which is worse," he whispered to Cosmo and Wanda--disguised as pink and green notebooks, "Having Tootie stalking me so she can swoon, or having Mr. Crocker stalking me so he can prove his theory."
"I'd say Crocker's presence is more of a threat," Wanda replied, "After all, if he succeeds in proving that you have fairy godparents, he could ruin your life forever. Tootie is pretty harmless in comparison."
By that time, Crocker was following so closely behind him, it was easy to distinguish the teacher's creepy footsteps from Timmy's own. Finally, the boy had had enough. He spun around to face Crocker.
"Why are you following me, Mr. Crocker?" he demanded, already knowing what the answer to that question would be.
"So I can monitor the activity of your...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!" Crocker replied openly--seeing no reason in keeping his motives sub-rosa at the time--succumbing to a trademark spasm on the last two words of his statement.
"I figured as much," Timmy grumbled under his breath, then raised his voice to normal volume, "Why don't you give it a rest? I don't have fairy godparents!"
"What kind of fool do you take me for, Turner?"
"How many kinds are there?" Timmy asked with a smirk.
"Don't change the subject!" Crocker hissed, jabbing a finger in Timmy's chest with every intention of inflicting pain as he did so, "I know lies when I hear them."
"You should," Timmy retorted, "You're one of the biggest liars I know."
"Thank you," Crocker lightened up, seemingly proud of his reputation, "I worked hard for that title."
"Yeah, right," Timmy scoffed, rolling his eyes, "Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Crocker, you may already know I have a load of homework to do and friends to do it with."
Crocker narrowed his eyes and glared daggers at the retreating boy, but he didn't follow. He needed some time alone to come up with a successful plan to capture Timmy's fairies.
---------------
"I've got to get him out of my house," Timmy said to Chester and AJ as they went over their homework together, "He's driving me crazy!"
"You know what they say," AJ replied, "Misery loves company."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Chester asked, "And who is 'they'?"
"It means that Crocker is a miserable human being afflicted with misery and he finds joy in inflicting misery on others," AJ explained, "He's also the perfect example of a bully, now that I think about it. He likes to pick on people smaller and weaker than himself."
"So who is 'they'?" Chester repeated.
"Oh. I'm not sure who originally said it," AJ replied, "All I know is that it makes sense and it applies to this situation."
"Okay, you guys," Timmy interrupted, "Can you help me figure out a sure-fire way to get rid of him?"
"You could call the asylum," AJ suggested, "That's what the principal does when he gets too unruly."
"Or you could turn him over to Vicky," Chester piped up, "She'd probably eat him for lunch--not that he'd make much of a meal, but..."
"No way!" Timmy replied quickly, "With my luck, the two of them would join forces and unite against me! Then I'd really be in for it."
"Okay," Chester paused, thinking, "What about his mom?"
"Well, she seems to keep him in check to a certain degree," Timmy considered, "I mean, the worst reaction he's ever had to her is a yelling fit. I've never seen him get violent with her."
"There you have it," AJ grinned, "Get his parental unit involved."
"And if that doesn't work?" Timmy asked.
"Then you call the asylum," Chester answered matter-of-factly.
Chapter Eight-- "Against All Odds"
Crocker seemed more paranoid than usual as he resumed teaching once again. He kept pacing over to the door, sticking his head out, checking the hall, then pacing in front of the chalkboard for a few moments--only to repeat everything in a very distinct pattern.
"What's eating him?" Chester muttered to Timmy.
"Beats me," Timmy shrugged, "But maybe it'll eat him out of my house and home...whatever it is."
"Wishful thinking, Sweetie?" Wanda--disguised as an eraser--asked.
"Why don't you just wish Crocker away, Timmy?" Cosmo--disguised as a green pencil--piped up.
"I can't do that, Cosmo," Timmy replied, "It would be too obvious and it would only feed his suspicions. No. I have to get rid of him without magic. It's the only safe way to go."
Crocker's relief could never be adequately expressed with words when the sound of the final bell met his anxious ears. The sooner he got out of the school, the better. His mother knew where he worked, but she had no clue where he was living. He would be in the safe zone as soon as he returned to Timmy's house.
"Well, there's the bell, children," he blurted, speaking more rapidly than usual, "Time for everyone to leave! Go! Run down the halls screaming with joy and trample anyone who stands in your way!"
Timmy jumped up to follow the rest of the class, but Crocker reached out and snagged the back of his shirt in a white-knuckled fist.
"Not you," he hissed, "You have to ride home with me. I don't trust you, Turner. If my mother shows up and interrogates you on my whereabouts, you'll crack without thinking twice."
Timmy found it wiser to just go along with it rather than argue. Crocker wasn't someone to fight with when he was calm, so Timmy would never dream of arguing with him when he was as frantic as he was then and there. He calmly followed Crocker out to his van, where he got another terrifying ride. He was more than grateful when the demented teacher screeched to a stop in the driveway. Nauseated by Crocker's horrible driving, Timmy staggered into his house with the lunatic trailing behind.
"Ugh! What's that smell?" Timmy gagged, plugging his nose as some disgusting scent greeted his nose when he walked in the door.
"Fairies!" Crocker screamed impulsively.
"No. The bathroom," Mrs. Turner replied, sporting a clothespin on her nose, "Your father polished off the last of the leftover baked beans for lunch this afternoon, Timmy. Went right through him."
"Gah! What'd he do?" Crocker wretches, drawing his shirt collar up over his nose, "Set off a nuclear bomb in there?"
"Might as well have," Timmy coughed, fanning the air with his hand, "Blech! I think I'm going to skip over to AJ's house to do my homework."
A few minutes later, Timmy set out for AJ's house. He couldn't help but feel as though he was being watched. Sure enough, he was. Timmy had a sneaking suspicion as to who was stalking him and it was starting to get on his nerves. Crocker--having no more desire to stay in the house amid the raunchy stench than Timmy did--was trailing his student, fairy detector in hand.
"I don't know which is worse," he whispered to Cosmo and Wanda--disguised as pink and green notebooks, "Having Tootie stalking me so she can swoon, or having Mr. Crocker stalking me so he can prove his theory."
"I'd say Crocker's presence is more of a threat," Wanda replied, "After all, if he succeeds in proving that you have fairy godparents, he could ruin your life forever. Tootie is pretty harmless in comparison."
By that time, Crocker was following so closely behind him, it was easy to distinguish the teacher's creepy footsteps from Timmy's own. Finally, the boy had had enough. He spun around to face Crocker.
"Why are you following me, Mr. Crocker?" he demanded, already knowing what the answer to that question would be.
"So I can monitor the activity of your...FAIRY GODPARENTS!!!" Crocker replied openly--seeing no reason in keeping his motives sub-rosa at the time--succumbing to a trademark spasm on the last two words of his statement.
"I figured as much," Timmy grumbled under his breath, then raised his voice to normal volume, "Why don't you give it a rest? I don't have fairy godparents!"
"What kind of fool do you take me for, Turner?"
"How many kinds are there?" Timmy asked with a smirk.
"Don't change the subject!" Crocker hissed, jabbing a finger in Timmy's chest with every intention of inflicting pain as he did so, "I know lies when I hear them."
"You should," Timmy retorted, "You're one of the biggest liars I know."
"Thank you," Crocker lightened up, seemingly proud of his reputation, "I worked hard for that title."
"Yeah, right," Timmy scoffed, rolling his eyes, "Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr. Crocker, you may already know I have a load of homework to do and friends to do it with."
Crocker narrowed his eyes and glared daggers at the retreating boy, but he didn't follow. He needed some time alone to come up with a successful plan to capture Timmy's fairies.
---------------
"I've got to get him out of my house," Timmy said to Chester and AJ as they went over their homework together, "He's driving me crazy!"
"You know what they say," AJ replied, "Misery loves company."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Chester asked, "And who is 'they'?"
"It means that Crocker is a miserable human being afflicted with misery and he finds joy in inflicting misery on others," AJ explained, "He's also the perfect example of a bully, now that I think about it. He likes to pick on people smaller and weaker than himself."
"So who is 'they'?" Chester repeated.
"Oh. I'm not sure who originally said it," AJ replied, "All I know is that it makes sense and it applies to this situation."
"Okay, you guys," Timmy interrupted, "Can you help me figure out a sure-fire way to get rid of him?"
"You could call the asylum," AJ suggested, "That's what the principal does when he gets too unruly."
"Or you could turn him over to Vicky," Chester piped up, "She'd probably eat him for lunch--not that he'd make much of a meal, but..."
"No way!" Timmy replied quickly, "With my luck, the two of them would join forces and unite against me! Then I'd really be in for it."
"Okay," Chester paused, thinking, "What about his mom?"
"Well, she seems to keep him in check to a certain degree," Timmy considered, "I mean, the worst reaction he's ever had to her is a yelling fit. I've never seen him get violent with her."
"There you have it," AJ grinned, "Get his parental unit involved."
"And if that doesn't work?" Timmy asked.
"Then you call the asylum," Chester answered matter-of-factly.
