The Gingerbread Man Part 4: Final Fantasy Tactics?
After a long hiatus, finally finished yet another chapter...maybe I'm too busy, or just bored :P. Enjoy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Disclaimer: *See Chapter 1* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Reno: You know what? I think we're deviating from the story here...
Rufus: Cuz you damn crap had to go knock me out!
Reno: Ah don't push it boss.
Elena: Push what?
Reno: Nevermind.
Rude: Hey, who's the narrator now?
Elena: Me! Me!
Rufus: Shut up! I'm the narrator!! Everyone shut up!!
All: *shut up*
Rufus: Well, now that things are under control...*Flips thru tattered, beer- drenched sheets, then glares like hell fire at Turks*
Reno: Wot? (AN: see chapter 1)
Back to our missing gingerbread man.
Sephiroth: I'm not teaming up with a bunch of ninny girls.
Aeris: Sephiroth! How could you say that!!
Yuffie: Yeah!!
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: *Pokes Vincent*
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: *Pokes Vincent*
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: YOU SIDE US NOW YOU NO GOOD CHAUVANISTIC PIG N WOMAN-HATER AND BESIDES YOU WEAR YOUR CAPE FUNNY!!!
Vincent: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I AGREE WITH YOU AND STOP MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT MY CAPE!! *Turns to Sephiroth* I AGREE LET THE GIRLS TEAM UP WITH YOU... erp...I mean, let the girls join you, seph?
Sephiroth: They'd slow me down!! Besides, it's MY gingerbread army!!
Aeris: Right, right. Let's split up then. Much faster that way.
Sephiroth: HAH! That's good! I have a plan formulating itself in my head already! Aeris: Perhaps I can charm him back!
Yuffie: Okay let's move out!
*All split up and spring into action *
*Back to the narrator*
Rufus:*sticks head off camera* Reno I'll kill you!!
Reno: Wot?
Cameraman: Make up the friggin story as you go along.
Reno: I need a booze.
Elena: That's not how the story goes.
Rufus: On second thoughts, I just hit upon a brilliant idea... *summons Shinra helicopter, hops on and leaves*
Elena: Hey! where did ya think he went?
*Suddenly TV crackles to life*
Reno: Hey look, it's the boss.
Rufus: Ahem...Here we are reporting live from the site of the Great Gingerbread Hunt, I am your reporter Rufus Shinra.
Rude: Damn that's funky.
Elena: *cries* Oh no!! he's trapped in the TV!! *hugs TV and cries*
Reno: Elena?
Elena: *sniff* What?
Reno: *throws a cookie* Catch.
Elena: OOOH!! *runs off camera*
Rufus: here we have four avid naturalists trying to capture the elusive gingerbread man, a rare specimen found solely here, In the forests of Gongaga. And here we have with us one enthusiastic naturalist who has agreed to be interviewed by me! Hello, Vincent! It is an honour for you to meet me...I mean, an honour for me to meet me... I mean, what are you doing to capture the gingerbread man?
Vincent: I am merely standing by to watch this ridiculous procedure.
Rufus: ...
Vincent: I enjoy watching such...strife...going on. Heh.
Rufus: Sensational. -_-
Vincent: Oh look, there's our Shinra general.
*Sephiroth runs past camera with what looks like a fishing rod*
Rufus; What the HELL is he doing?!
Vincent: You're the reporter. Interview him!
Rufus: *runs after seph* Hey minion! What's up with that stupid gadget?
Sephiroth: Number one, I'M NOT YOUR MINION!! Number two, this is not a stupid device!!
Rufus: Convince us.
Sephiroth: Who's "us"?
Rufus: You're live on Shinra TV.
Sephiroth: THEN LISTEN ALL YOU MINIONS!!! YOU ARE PREPARED TO WITNESS THE MOST DARING PROJECTS OF ALL TIME!! SOON ALL WILL HAIL ME!! THE PLANET, LIFESTREAM, THE PROMISED LAND AND TELETUBBY LAND WILL ALL BELONG TO ME!!!
Rufus; yeah right. Why teletubby land?
Sephiroth: I like bunnies.
Rufus: Oh. Kay. So, what's your plan?
Sephiroth: I plan to bait the elusive army!! See the material hanging on the end?
Rufus: yeah.
Sephiroth: Only a genius and the creator of the gingerbread man can work this out. Cloud is made of materia. And gingerbread. He will crave for materia. He is addicted to it. He will come to it!!
Rufus: Oh...okay.
Sephiroth: He takes the bait, I reel in the line, Presto!! My army is restored and so am I, to my full glory and power!! MWAHAHAHA...
Rufus: Sounds dumb.
Sephiroth: Shut up and go away. *makes casting actions into the forest*
Rufus: Man, this whole bleedin' gingerbread thing is getting on my nerves.
Vincent: Can't you get some other interesting topic for your show?
Rufus: Oh yeah? Like?
Vincent: Well, you could do one like Martha Stewart. For example, decorating your kitchen.
Rufus: I don't own a bleedin' kitchen.
Vincent: It's simple. Here, my latest creation is the inflatable kitchen...Here, you can see the marvelous colour and design...*goes on and on about kitchen tiles and growing spices etc etc*
Sephiroth: AHA! I caught something!! *crashes through the foliage*
Rufus: AHA! We interrupt this insanely boring kitchen designing show with a news-breaking moment!! Sephiroth seems to have caught the elusive gingerbread!!
Sephiroth: What the... YUFFIE?!
Yuffie: mrrrmph...gimmie material... *tangled up in fishing line*
Aeris: Sorry about that.
Tifa: yeah, sorry about that.
*All blink at Tifa*
Sephiroth: Whoa mama.
Aeris: *sweetly* She's Yuffie's idea! What could possibly be more effective, nabbing a gingerbread man with a gingerbread woman! We created her from my white materia, so she's like my clone!
Sephiroth: You...YOU...CREATED a GINGERBREAD WOMAN?!?!
Aeris: Where you use brute force, we will use sweet, tender lurve. ^ ^
Vincent: Tender love? *stares at Tifa's rack* More like lust. O_o
Aeris: That big rack? That's Yuffie's fault!
Tifa: Uh? Werd?
Sephiroth: I should patent these things!!! How dare you copy my plans?? She's even every bit as dumb!!
Aeris: Hey!! Precisely why it's gonna work, okay?? Shoo now, off you go...
Tifa: *Blunders off into forest*
Aeris: See, she's tracking him with the power of attraction!
Tifa: *Blunders back*
Aeris: Hey?! Why're you back? What's that you're holding?
Vincent: It appears to be another note.
Sephiroth: A note? Where from? What's it say?
Aeris: A love note?? *Sighs*
Vincent: Now it says, "I em not hiding in this forust. Go away."
Everyone: _
Aeris: Wait! Tifa, did he pass this to you??
Tifa: Uh...No blonde haired mako blue eyed man passed it to me. He was not with a tall, spiky black-haired man either.
All: O_O
Aeris: She's been manipulated!!
Sephiroth: I'm not surprised.
Vincent: Anyone ever wondered whose that tall black haired guy he's with anyway?
Everyone: errr... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Thanks for reading this crappy fic! Honestly I am running out of steam already :P
After a long hiatus, finally finished yet another chapter...maybe I'm too busy, or just bored :P. Enjoy! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Disclaimer: *See Chapter 1* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Reno: You know what? I think we're deviating from the story here...
Rufus: Cuz you damn crap had to go knock me out!
Reno: Ah don't push it boss.
Elena: Push what?
Reno: Nevermind.
Rude: Hey, who's the narrator now?
Elena: Me! Me!
Rufus: Shut up! I'm the narrator!! Everyone shut up!!
All: *shut up*
Rufus: Well, now that things are under control...*Flips thru tattered, beer- drenched sheets, then glares like hell fire at Turks*
Reno: Wot? (AN: see chapter 1)
Back to our missing gingerbread man.
Sephiroth: I'm not teaming up with a bunch of ninny girls.
Aeris: Sephiroth! How could you say that!!
Yuffie: Yeah!!
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: *Pokes Vincent*
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: *Pokes Vincent*
Vincent: No comment.
Yuffie: YOU SIDE US NOW YOU NO GOOD CHAUVANISTIC PIG N WOMAN-HATER AND BESIDES YOU WEAR YOUR CAPE FUNNY!!!
Vincent: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I AGREE WITH YOU AND STOP MAKING COMMENTS ABOUT MY CAPE!! *Turns to Sephiroth* I AGREE LET THE GIRLS TEAM UP WITH YOU... erp...I mean, let the girls join you, seph?
Sephiroth: They'd slow me down!! Besides, it's MY gingerbread army!!
Aeris: Right, right. Let's split up then. Much faster that way.
Sephiroth: HAH! That's good! I have a plan formulating itself in my head already! Aeris: Perhaps I can charm him back!
Yuffie: Okay let's move out!
*All split up and spring into action *
*Back to the narrator*
Rufus:*sticks head off camera* Reno I'll kill you!!
Reno: Wot?
Cameraman: Make up the friggin story as you go along.
Reno: I need a booze.
Elena: That's not how the story goes.
Rufus: On second thoughts, I just hit upon a brilliant idea... *summons Shinra helicopter, hops on and leaves*
Elena: Hey! where did ya think he went?
*Suddenly TV crackles to life*
Reno: Hey look, it's the boss.
Rufus: Ahem...Here we are reporting live from the site of the Great Gingerbread Hunt, I am your reporter Rufus Shinra.
Rude: Damn that's funky.
Elena: *cries* Oh no!! he's trapped in the TV!! *hugs TV and cries*
Reno: Elena?
Elena: *sniff* What?
Reno: *throws a cookie* Catch.
Elena: OOOH!! *runs off camera*
Rufus: here we have four avid naturalists trying to capture the elusive gingerbread man, a rare specimen found solely here, In the forests of Gongaga. And here we have with us one enthusiastic naturalist who has agreed to be interviewed by me! Hello, Vincent! It is an honour for you to meet me...I mean, an honour for me to meet me... I mean, what are you doing to capture the gingerbread man?
Vincent: I am merely standing by to watch this ridiculous procedure.
Rufus: ...
Vincent: I enjoy watching such...strife...going on. Heh.
Rufus: Sensational. -_-
Vincent: Oh look, there's our Shinra general.
*Sephiroth runs past camera with what looks like a fishing rod*
Rufus; What the HELL is he doing?!
Vincent: You're the reporter. Interview him!
Rufus: *runs after seph* Hey minion! What's up with that stupid gadget?
Sephiroth: Number one, I'M NOT YOUR MINION!! Number two, this is not a stupid device!!
Rufus: Convince us.
Sephiroth: Who's "us"?
Rufus: You're live on Shinra TV.
Sephiroth: THEN LISTEN ALL YOU MINIONS!!! YOU ARE PREPARED TO WITNESS THE MOST DARING PROJECTS OF ALL TIME!! SOON ALL WILL HAIL ME!! THE PLANET, LIFESTREAM, THE PROMISED LAND AND TELETUBBY LAND WILL ALL BELONG TO ME!!!
Rufus; yeah right. Why teletubby land?
Sephiroth: I like bunnies.
Rufus: Oh. Kay. So, what's your plan?
Sephiroth: I plan to bait the elusive army!! See the material hanging on the end?
Rufus: yeah.
Sephiroth: Only a genius and the creator of the gingerbread man can work this out. Cloud is made of materia. And gingerbread. He will crave for materia. He is addicted to it. He will come to it!!
Rufus: Oh...okay.
Sephiroth: He takes the bait, I reel in the line, Presto!! My army is restored and so am I, to my full glory and power!! MWAHAHAHA...
Rufus: Sounds dumb.
Sephiroth: Shut up and go away. *makes casting actions into the forest*
Rufus: Man, this whole bleedin' gingerbread thing is getting on my nerves.
Vincent: Can't you get some other interesting topic for your show?
Rufus: Oh yeah? Like?
Vincent: Well, you could do one like Martha Stewart. For example, decorating your kitchen.
Rufus: I don't own a bleedin' kitchen.
Vincent: It's simple. Here, my latest creation is the inflatable kitchen...Here, you can see the marvelous colour and design...*goes on and on about kitchen tiles and growing spices etc etc*
Sephiroth: AHA! I caught something!! *crashes through the foliage*
Rufus: AHA! We interrupt this insanely boring kitchen designing show with a news-breaking moment!! Sephiroth seems to have caught the elusive gingerbread!!
Sephiroth: What the... YUFFIE?!
Yuffie: mrrrmph...gimmie material... *tangled up in fishing line*
Aeris: Sorry about that.
Tifa: yeah, sorry about that.
*All blink at Tifa*
Sephiroth: Whoa mama.
Aeris: *sweetly* She's Yuffie's idea! What could possibly be more effective, nabbing a gingerbread man with a gingerbread woman! We created her from my white materia, so she's like my clone!
Sephiroth: You...YOU...CREATED a GINGERBREAD WOMAN?!?!
Aeris: Where you use brute force, we will use sweet, tender lurve. ^ ^
Vincent: Tender love? *stares at Tifa's rack* More like lust. O_o
Aeris: That big rack? That's Yuffie's fault!
Tifa: Uh? Werd?
Sephiroth: I should patent these things!!! How dare you copy my plans?? She's even every bit as dumb!!
Aeris: Hey!! Precisely why it's gonna work, okay?? Shoo now, off you go...
Tifa: *Blunders off into forest*
Aeris: See, she's tracking him with the power of attraction!
Tifa: *Blunders back*
Aeris: Hey?! Why're you back? What's that you're holding?
Vincent: It appears to be another note.
Sephiroth: A note? Where from? What's it say?
Aeris: A love note?? *Sighs*
Vincent: Now it says, "I em not hiding in this forust. Go away."
Everyone: _
Aeris: Wait! Tifa, did he pass this to you??
Tifa: Uh...No blonde haired mako blue eyed man passed it to me. He was not with a tall, spiky black-haired man either.
All: O_O
Aeris: She's been manipulated!!
Sephiroth: I'm not surprised.
Vincent: Anyone ever wondered whose that tall black haired guy he's with anyway?
Everyone: errr... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
Thanks for reading this crappy fic! Honestly I am running out of steam already :P
