Wild-filly: Thank you once again to all of the wonderful reviewers!!! And I have some fascinating news........ I have discovered *drum roll* a plot!!!!!!!!!!!

All muses: *keel over in shock whilst author is standing like an overly enlightened dramatic poet*

Ryou Bakura: *staggers to his feet* didn't you promise to let us go after you found a plot?

*Yu-Gi-Oh! characters surround computer hopefully whilst Dragonball Z and Harry Potter cast grumble about unfairness and being more deserving of freedom*

Wild-filly: change of mind I'm afraid *grins evilly*

*evil grin turns to one of horror as the Yu-Gi-Oh! characters' expressions change from hopeful to murderous, the yamis suddenly recall their grudge*

Wild-filly: however, thanks to the VERY kind El Loco Uno, all of you now have Pepsi to enjoy with the cookies ^_______^

All cast/muses: -_-*

Marik, Yami Bakura: DIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *Marik transforms the Millennium Rod into the dagger, author pales and bolts as Yami Bakura opens a gateway into the Shadow Realm*

Wild-filly: O.O KAIOSHIN DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!

Kaioshin: ^_^ wild-filly does not own Harry Potter, Dragonball Z or any of the Yu-Gi-Oh! cast she is currently terrorising. Thanks to El Loco Uno and Gusebat, all she owns is a crate of Pepsi, a bag of cookies and a Special Edition DBZ Blooper reel..... which I am still yet to discover the use of and manipulate to aiding the torture of the author

Wild-filly: I MEANT HELP ME, NOT DO THE STUPID DISCLAIMER!!!!!

Kaioshin: -_-* you could have been more specific

*author manages to scramble out of the Shadow Realm using "Completely- Unfair-and-Unoriginal-Author-Magic" whilst Yami Bakura and Marik are busy arguing over who gets to kill wild-filly*

Wild-filly: *glares at cast* places you lot, and on with the chapter! *stalks off muttering incomprehensibly*

***Chapter 9***

Snape jerked his head up irritably as the door swung open, believing that it was yet another lost or incompetent student come to disturb one of his only pupil-free hours. As the admittedly short shadow of the Supreme Kai cast down on the beaten stone floor, Snape's spirits rose slightly - an unwary student, he could yell at them for some amusement during this admittedly rather dull free session. As he watched the figure step tentatively flame-lit staffroom, Snape's spirits sank back to their original frigid state. Upper lip curling slightly in distaste, Snape glared at the extremely uncomfortable little purple elf and returned to his edition of Potions Monthly.

Kaioshin eyed the hazy Professor Binns, who was snoring placidly in the furthest corner away from the door, in front of the fireplace. Returning his nervy gaze to the greasy-haired human who seemed to exude unwelcomeness, the Supreme Kai pondered over performing some highly complex and illegal magic in order to get back into his own dimension, rather than disturb either of these two. Mind you, Kaioshin sighed openly; if he managed to perform the ritual perfectly, he would be left with several millennia of Kibito and the Elder Kai shrieking obscenities at him for tearing the fabric of reality. Honestly..... those two always got so worked up over such small details.

Regaining a more regal composure, the Supreme Kai hovered over to where Snape was sitting, pretending to ignore the unusual "visitor". With a slight cough, Kaioshin spoke, 'excuse me sir, could you please tell me what classrooms are free?' As the little deity watched the potions teacher carefully, he was intrigued to feel a definite increase in the level of hostility the human was exuding. ~remarkable~ thought Kaioshin in a rather morbid mood ~most creatures rely on eye-contact to convey such dislike for another's presence~.

Avoiding eye contact, Snape jerked the chair backwards and slowly stood up, towering head, shoulders and most of torso over the intimidated deity. Sneer etching an even deeper curve on the potions master's face, he replied 'I daresay you would appreciate being shown the way? As you no doubt have not learned enough about the castle to avoid losing your way within three seconds?'

Kaioshin blinked in surprise; he had rarely been exposed to such rudeness **A/N: wild-filly: ^_^ see? It's in the best interest of your mental health that I annoy and insult you occasionally. Kaioshin: *glares and ignores author* ** 'Thank you, Professor Snape. I am also grateful that you did not mistake me for some unfortunate student', replied Kaioshin in clipped tones. The slight widening of the smug human's eyes gave the Supreme Kai knowledge that the human did not understand the majority of the God's powers, especially not the ability to read minds. Sighing in relief mentally that the magical powers of the people here where not as acute as his own, the deity met the slightly-rattled Snape's eyes and followed him out of the staffroom, down the winding corridor towards the Transfiguration department.

***

Kibito stared hopelessly at the stacks of paperwork and complex golden measuring devices that littered the Supreme Kai's desk and surrounding tables. The Elder Kai was snoring loudly in Kibito's master's chair; reclined back and murmuring obnoxiously in his sleep. With a shudder, Kibito shook his head. There was no way he could run the universe without the proper training. The snoring old fool had declared that technology had advanced too far for him to operate the new devices without causing serious damage to the fabric of reality.

Glaring at the drooling disgrace for a Kai, Kibito wondered if the Elder was really being serious or just lazy - after all, the old Kai HAD had a considerably longer life than most creatures in the universe so universal destruction wouldn't concern him all that much. Returning his gaze to the whirring, whining instruments on the desk in front of him, Kibito flickered blue and then disappeared from sight. The only other being in the universe that may have a clue about how to operate these tools would be the Grand Kai. Let's hope he wasn't throwing another stupid disco again....

***

Goku emerged for air, gasped a breath and then dived once again into the generous pile of food that the house-elves had provided. The astonished elves were standing well back; torn between fretting that this guest was steadily eating his way through the castle's entire food stock for the school year, or being delighted that someone was so obviously enjoying their cooking. Indeed, the only time the "famished" visitor stopped eating was to pause for breath or momentarily choke. At this rate, there wouldn't even be enough food for the students' lunch, let alone the rest of the year.

Dobby was nominated by the anxious crowd of elves to catch the gorging Saiyan's attention. 'Sir?' he squeaked nervously.

Goku's brain took a full three minutes to register that someone had spoken to him. Lifting his head out of the massive bowl of rice, he searched for the speaker, until spotting the edgy elf behind a glistening cooked ham. 'Sorry about that. What's wrong?'

Dobby shuffled awkwardly through the pile of discarded plates and wrappers into hearing range. The Saiyan's mouth was still very much stuffed full and his speech was unintelligible. 'Sir, won't the people you came to the castle with be looking for you?'

Goku leapt to his feet in horror, 'oh no! I forgot all about them!' Tearing out of the kitchens at an incredible turn of speed, Goku left the bewildered elves behind with hastily called thanks.

***

Harry turned to Gohan as they walked back up to the castle, 'how did you enjoy your first class here?' Gohan grinned back, 'it was great, what do we have next?'

Hermione delved into her book bag, rummaging through sheaths of paper and quills in her search for her timetable. 'We have...... potions'. Harry and Ron let out a devastated groan in perfect unison.

Gohan looked puzzled, 'what's wrong with potions?' Ron stared gloomily at the passage down to the dungeons which they had by now navigated their way to. 'Haven't you seen Snape before? He's the Potions Master. That's all the reason you need'.

Vegeta's eyes narrowed and a slight smirk played across his face. He had been meaning to pay the obnoxious teacher a visit anyway.

Trunks and Goten exchanged glances. A temperamental teacher? Perfect for annoying..... Let the evil plotting begin.

***

Kaioshin stared into the dank classroom he had been led to. Snape jerked his head in the room's direction, 'that's the classroom you'll use'. With that pleasant note, he stalked off with his long black cloak fluttering out behind him. The little purple deity watched him leave, shaking his head in chagrin. That was some attitude - almost as bad as Vegeta!

Shuffling into the dark, unkempt room, the Supreme Kai cast a critical eye over the battered desks, chairs and impressive mountains of dust and rubbish. The deity's eyes flashed silver and instantly the room was bathed in shimmering silver light. When the pale mist cleared, the mutilated furniture had vanished, replaced instead by lush grass similar to that from KaioshinKai. A miniature waterfall bubbled into a snaking stream that wormed its way all the way to the original place of the teacher's desk. Several willowy trees had taken root along the walls. ~All in all, an improvement~ thought Kaioshin to himself in satisfaction.

Looking up at the ceiling, the deity once again concentrated his magical energy, forming a small, silvery orb of light. Casting the orb into the air, it hovered at the ceiling's highest point, serving as a miniature sun.

A cloak rustled behind him, and the Supreme Kai turned around, discovering to his surprise that a sizeable group of students had been watching the entire process with fallen jaws. Kaioshin sweat-dropped slightly as the students didn't even seem to notice his attention turn to them and continue to stare awe-struck at the remodelled classroom.

After five minutes of this uncomfortable silence, Kaioshin had had enough. With a small cough, he caught the pupils' attention. 'Should we begin?'

A ripple passed though the crowd as each person returned to a conscious state and then filed inside the indoor glade. Sitting down awkwardly onto the smooth turf, the students focussed the Supreme Kai with a critical, measuring stare. Quietly closing the ugly wooden door, Kaioshin desperately attempted to recall all of the school lessons he had ignored in his youth.

***

Entering the freezing dungeon that was the Potions room, Gohan felt a distinct chill down his spine. Eyeing the pickled décor, it was easy to see why Professor Snape was considered "creepy". Even Vegeta looked somewhat put-off by the shelves stacked with large jars filled with floating dead creatures. Piccolo looked similarly disgusted, but Trunks and Goten didn't seem to notice the menagerie at all.

The waiting students turned to stare at the "new pupils", their gazes following them all the way through the dungeon. Malfoy's eyes were glittering with malice, his facial expression curved with more than the usual dislike at Harry's presence.

Vegeta and Piccolo chose a suitably shadowed section of the classroom. While Vegeta sat down on the chair with a look of pure arrogance on his face, Piccolo spurned the crude wooden chair and instead began to meditate in mid-air, attracting yet more strange looks. Gohan shuffled into a seat next to Harry, Ron and Hermione, all the while eyeing Goten and Trunks distrustfully as they sat nearest the front - a place that was strangely devoid of all but Slytherin students.

The door was flung open, and Snape stormed into the class, completely ignoring the students and declining to explain why he was late. Taking a seat up the front of the class, Snape addressed the new "students". 'I daresay you will not understand any of what is shown to you today. However, I do not see this as any different from the rest of the class, so I shall expect for you all to perform to the same standards they do'.

Gohan stared in disbelief - not even the teachers at Orange Star had been this curt or rude to the students. The rest of the class seemed to twitch slightly as well, especially Hermione, who was positively writhing in her chair in disdain. Vegeta fixed Snape with a poisonous glare, calmly re- shuffling the order of his prized "People to Kill List". Piccolo continued to meditate, but a vein was starting to bulge on his forehead.

Goten and Trunks didn't look offended at all, in fact they both had utterly angelic expressions on their faces and were staring back at Snape with huge innocent eyes. Snape was feeling more than slightly nervous at their attention - there was no way that that expression wasn't fake. Just what were they planning???

***

wild-filly: memo to self - do not invite homicidal maniacs to be muses

Kaioshin: to be fair, you didn't even invite them, so they have every reason to be homicidal

wild-filly: -_-* thank you SO MUCH for that vote of confidence

Marik: I GET TO KILL WILD-FILLY, AND AFTER THAT I WILL TAKE THE STUPID PHAROAH'S PUZZLE!!!!

Bakura: NO!!!! I WAS TRYING TO STEAL THE PUZZLE WAAAAAYYY BEFORE YOU WERE AND THEREFORE, I ALSO GET TO KILL THE AUTHOR!

wild-filly: -_-* charming

Yami: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME STUPID? YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE PHAROAH!

*Marik, Yami and Bakura all attempt to murder one another instead of the author*

wild-filly: I feel ignored...

Kaioshin: -_-* you WANT them to try to kill you?

wild-filly: no.... but it does give me an interest

Kaioshin: *shakes head in disbelief*

wild-filly: please review!! ^______^