Noon – Cashman Field

He just wept
Like I could not ignore
How can I act
When my heart's on the floor?

He just wept
Til his eyes became sore
I knew who he was
But I don't anymore
 
He just cried
To the ruins of time
That kept us apart
We were doing just fine

Silence is always easy when you don´t have a lot to say. You just listen and take note of their whispers. Your look travels over their faces, mapping their mimic when they say something. You watch their lips move in synchronization with the produced sounds. Sometimes, the words are clear for you to understand and you smile because it all makes sense. You nod your head accordingly. And other times, the words are jumbled, making no sense whatsoever and you´re getting kind of lost. Like a child that´s getting lost in the havoc of grown-ups.

Greg was like that child, unable to find his way out of that surreal world he was trapped in. Where sounds were swallowed by an oppressing silence.

And, where the past was real. Where his innermost thoughts took form and images played across his mind´s eye as if captured on film.

In that moment, silence wasn´t bliss. Quite far from it, actually.

He wanted to pull himself together. Had tried to do so more times than he could remember, and every time he had failed.

Perhaps, that´s what he was: a failure. To himself. To his parents.

To Ian.

Ian. His name sounded strange in the vast emptiness of his mind.

His little brother. Companion. Friend.

He missed him but hadn´t thought of him in a long time before the case, truth to be told.

An image flashed across his mind: brown eyes, twinkling with mirth. The corners of his mouth upturned. Ready to laugh, to take on the world. Instead, the world had taken him.

A second later and it was already fading away.

He couldn´t remember what he had sounded like. When he tried to he could only see his lips move, but no voice was forthcoming. He was straining to hear the words but it was no use. The laughter had been silenced.

What would he give to listen to Ian again. Just one word. Maybe a sentence. It didn´t really matter as long as he could.

People often didn´t realize that even if he did tend to talk a lot, he was a listener by nature. He liked to absorb everything in his environment. Analyze it. He was like Grissom in that respect, only that he also put most of his thoughts into words.

And now, even words were failing him. Again. Failure.

He was tired. Maybe he should lie down for a while.


.

.

.

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his sleep.

Disoriented and disconnected he shook himself awake.

His hands trembled as he pulled his cell phone out of his pockets and answered the incoming call.

He tried to say "hello" but his mind couldn´t grasp the concept to form the words in his mouth.

"Greg, are you there?"

Melissa. His beloved Melissa. Maybe she could help him. She would understand.

"Mel, I need you." His voice quivered slightly. He had to swallow several times to just get the words out.

"Greg, what´s wrong? What happened? Why didn´t you come home?"

"Can you come and get me?" he said, ignoring her questions. He sounded like a small, frightened child.

"Where are you?"

Silence.

"Greg, are you there? Greg?" Concern slowly turned into serious worry.

"Cashman Field."

Before she could say anything else, the silence on the other end was replaced by the steady beeping of the dial tone.

*******

The lyrics in the beginning are originally from Starsailor´s song "She just wept". As you can see, I took some liberties and changed the song a bit to match the story. But I think, it fits.

Since this chap is a bit short, there will be another update soon.