Yunsungs Greek comedy chapter 3 by Herofox

Our five heroes where waiting in their hotel room for a guest to arrive.

Since Raphael comes from France; said to be the most romantic country in the world, they where hoping that he could help with the matter of Yunsungs heart.

Meanwhile Cassandra was leaving her house "I've got some errands to run!" she called to her father "No breakfast for me thanks!"

Sophetia told Cassandra, that it would be a good idea to talk to this weird Asian boy who was following her around. So she though it would be a good idea to ask some actors how to act. That way, she could ask what the Hades was his problem, without making it look like she was trying to beat him up.

"So, she's going for acting lesions eh?" Said a lady, hiding on a rooftop. She was odiously a ninja. Although her outfit was a shade of red that you'd think looked a little bright for that line of work, and it was quite a tight fit, attracting the attention of a number of men. By the way she dressed, anyone would think she WANTED to be seen. "I'm not sure if that's such a good idea Taki." Said the little girl who was travelling with her. "What do you mean Talim?" the brightly dressed Ninja asked "Well, I just don't think Cassandra should trust those actors. I mean, that time you took me to the theatre, three of them murdered poor old Julius Caser!" "As I have told you about EIGHT TIMES" Taki replied, saying those last two words through gritted teeth, "It was just a play, and that man, was just an actor."

Poor Talim was still a little Naïve. She was just a child, and had never seen a play before. Though it was because of this innocent nature, that Taki was so fond of her. She was a sweet and gentle girl, who reminded Taki of Sophetia, her first real friend. So she decided that Talim could tag along, since they both had the same objective to destroy Soul Edge.

Cassandra entered a bar by the pier, and sat on a stool, next to a tall Asian man, who was wearing a blue headband, and a uniform, which looked like one from the Korean costal defence force. Her Father was a regular customer here, so the barman recognised her. "Hello there Cassandra!" he said "Naughty girl! Getting drunk this early in the day!" the young blonde girl just sighed. This barman was an overly jolly fat man, who was usually drunk out of his mind. "I'm just looking for some actors." She said, with a sweet, anime-type smile "Too bad you didn't ask me that yesterday" said the barman "The cast from a Japanese showboat came in here after they'd finished rehearsals. They where getting ready for their big show on Friday." "You mean Japanese actors actually rehearse?" interrupted the Korean soldier. "I thought they just got drunk, spouted any old crap and trusted it all to luck." "Oh, don't mind him!" said the barman "His country's at war with the Japanese right now, so he's probably a little annoyed at the right now."

Back at HQ, there was a knock at the door. Killik answered and welcomed in, a tall blonde man, who bore a striking resemblance to Rik Mayall. "Ah! There you are Seigfreid!" he said "Welcome, Raphael. I assume you had a pleasant trip?" the big guy with the long hair greeted. "Yes," said the Frenchman "But not as pleasant as this young lady's appearance." He said as he kissed Xianghua's hand. Her face turned red, and she started to sweat a lot. Killik just covered his own mouth, trying not to laugh.

"Ah! Bonjour!" Raphael said as he gave Killik the usual French greeting. Which was kissing him on both cheeks. That seemed to put him in his place.

Meanwhile, Cassandra was at a Tailors shop with Sophetia, getting an outfit, to ware for Friday. "This is a good one for taking to an Asian guy in." Said the woman with the longer hair. "Are you sure?" asked her red-faced little sister "What if this guy's Korean? Won't he get the wrong idea?" Sophetia just continued to convince Cassandra that it was worth a shot "She who dares wins Cass! Now come on out!"

So the young woman came out of the dressing room, wearing a Japanese Kimono.

"I feel like such a bimbo." Cassandra complained. "I think you look lovely Cassandra." Said Taki, who was tagging along with the two sisters. Being Japanese herself, she knew a girl who looked good in a Kimono when she saw one. "You think?" said the apple of our Idiot hero's eyes, with her cheeks still bearing a rosy blush.

Back to Yunsung, and his band of merry swordsmen, who where getting 'The talk' from Raphael "Women," he began "Like a smooth combination of Good looks, muscle, and intelligence." Sweating a bit, Killik and Seigfreid gave their young friend a lookover, "Well, two out of three's not bad." Killik said under his breath.

Raphael continued "But it's also a good idea to try and find out a bit about this girl. The Americans say that, a girl always falls for a man like her father." "Is that true?" Asked Yunsung, looking at Ivy. The Tall English-woman, narrowed her eyes at the thought of Cervantes "My Father is a violent, big headed, mindless old fool." She said coldly "See what I mean?" said Raph, pointing at Seigfreid, who turned bright red.

"Now," the so-called Master of Romance continued, "I would like to test Yunsungs intelligence, Man-to-man. So the rest of you..." he pondered for a minute "Go and have sex or something." That put the smile back onto Ivy's face "You heard the man, Seigfreid!" she said, pulling him into a bedroom. Killik & Xianghua also left the room, so Raphael, stood facing the younger man. "Okay" he said, lowering his voice "It's time for the ultimate test of your intelligence. A game..." he paused for a moment, in a lame attempt to create drama "of chess."

So they set up the table, and prepared to duel. "Alright," our French friend said, "It's just, two guys, two sides, one battle. This girl you're chasing doesn't exist, until I say otherwise, okay?" "Okay!" said Yunsung, ready to put his mind against an obviously challenging opponent. "Good." Said Raphael with a smirk "One more question before we start." Yunsung gulped, afraid of what was about to be asked, "How do you actually play chess?"

Within twenty minutes, came Yunsungs not-so-fierce battle cry. "Checkmate!" he said cheerfully and his finished off the opposing player. Raphael stood up, and did the only sporting thing he could do. Give him a big punch, on the chin. The Frenchman gloated, but then the Korean quickly jumped up, and pushed the table onto his rival's feet. Raphael screamed like a mad parrot, caught in a galley's steering mechanism, before clenching his fists and throwing his head up in agony. While he was doing that, Yunsung grabbed a chair and smashed it against the screaming Frenchman's face.

Later, they travelled into town, to find Cassandra. She was looking for Yunsung, and feeling pretty silly while doing it in a pink and blue kimono. She didn't look half bad though. She styled her hair in a ponytail, and was warring white skin toner. You'd hardy recognise her. Well Yunsung certainly didn't. As soon as her saw what appeared to be a Japanese woman, his eyes burned violently, and he drew White Storm, while Screaming "Japanese slut!" He then charged at our poor heroine, casing her to the harbour. As soon as they flashed past the harbour, the mysterious Korean soldier heard the call 'Japanese slut!' in a familiar voice. "Is that Yunsung?" he asked to no one in particular. Recognising the voice, her threw off his assassin mask to revile his true identity; Hwang Seung Kyon.

Cassandra had ducked into an ally way to get back into her normal clothes, when she realised one important element. She didn't have her normal clothes with her.

All she could do was wipe off the makeup, let her hair down, take off the dress and hope she could get home without attracting too much attention. And for an attractive young woman, running around in her underwear, it was easier said than done.

"Yunsung!" called Hwang as he drew his mighty weapon; Blue Thunder. "Hwang!" Yunsung bellowed as he drew White Storm. "I guess It really was smart of me to read the masters mail!" said Korea's alternative to Popeye. Yunsung hadn't realised what his former childhood hero was talking about so was hopeful to finally prove himself in his eyes. "Ah, so you've come for that duel I proposed back at the dojo?"

Hwang growled in frustration "No you fool!" he shouted, "I've come to retrieve White Storm!" Now Yunsung was getting excited. If Hwang wanted to return White Storm to their Master, he was going to fight for it. "If I just hand it over, I'll have nothing to protect myself with on my way home." He said "So how about we fight for it? Winner gets the losers sword!" Hwang was in no mood for gambling, especially since Yunsung was known to cheat at Polka. But still, he was pretty confident of his skills, having spent most of his life fighting, training to Fight, and then fight some more. "I don't have time to play games, but since I'm a good sport, I'll accept your challenge!" he said. "Prepare you get hurt, kid!" "I'll make you eat those words!" said Yunsung whilst charging at his rival.

Sophetia was walking home as the sun was setting. It was a lovely evening. Hearing the pitter-patter of footsteps, approaching behind her, Sophetia looked back. Then she decided that it might be best to speed up a bit. Well, if Sprinting as fast as a pair of long legs could take you counts as 'a bit', then that last statement was true.

"I...am...going...to...kill...YOU!!" Said the underwear-clad Cassandra between breaths. Eventually, the reached Sophetia's house. "I'm gonna kill you!" Cassandra yelled, once she caught her breath "Now Cassie, don't be a bimbo all your life!" Said Sophetia, who was sweating. "I'M a bimbo?!" her sister answered quite aggressively.

"You're the one who said 'She who dares wins!'" said Cassandra, somehow managing to perfectly imitate Sophetia's voice for that quotation Sophetia put on a sad face that she always used for apologies. "I'm sorry." She said in a quiet, hurt voice. "Look, is there anything I can do to help?" "Yes!" said her angry little sister "Piss off!"

Sophetia then smiled, and turned to leave. But then she turned back to Cassandra, with her mouth dropped, as her sisters words sunk in. "Now you just listen to me, you ungrateful little dipstick!" she scolded, in one of those rare moments when Sophetia actually got angry.

Back at the docks, the two top students of the Seung Dojo battled fiercely.

They parried with their sabres faster than lightning, and the sound of steel against steel was as wondrous a noise as the crack of thunder.

They where battling well, until Yunsung made a terrible mistake.

"Ready to give up?" called Hwang to the redhead. Now, Yunsung was a serious fighter, but felt as though Hwang was holding back, so decided to try and provoke him into unleashing his full fury. "Eat my shorts!" he called back, as he turned around, dropped his trousers and mooned the old soldier.

As far as Hwang was concerned, this was to be the final insult. Charging forward, faster than Yunsung had expected, he thrust Blue Thunder forward. From a distance, Yunsungs high-pitched scream could be heard for miles around.

Later, Hwang was boarding a ship to take him back to Korea, with White Storm in hand. While walking up the gangplank, he turned to wave Goodbye to Yunsung and his friends. "We'll meet again Yunsung!" he said with a smile. Then he boarded the ship, as our heroes waved him off.

"So he really let you keep his sword in exchange?" asked Xianghua "Yeah" replied Yunsung "He said that I could keep it till I get home. But I've got to give it a good cleaning before I give it back to him." Then he limped back to the inn, while clenching his throbbing buttocks, hoping to be able to figure out a new way to get the girl.

End of chapter 3.

I'm hoping that this chapter is just as entertaining (if not more so) as the previous ones.

Brush up on your Britt-coms!-

A little more Blackadder the Third Material was used. Hwangs line regarding actors, and Taki's conversation with Talim, both use material from the episode "Sense and Senility"

The argument between Cassandra and Sophetia at the end was based upon a couple of episodes of "Only Fools and Horses" Another fun fact regarding Only Fools & Horses, is that Rodney, whom Cassandra was quoting, actually marries a Woman called Cassandra, so I though that he'd be a good reference =)