Yunsungs Greek comedy chapter 5 by Herofox

Friday; last day of work/School before the weekend. But for several people, this would be the most important day of their lives.

There, outside the city, stood the most dreaded man on the south seas...Cervantes D'Leon. The evil man began his walk through the town, cutting down civilians, raping poor women, and worst of all... using a can of red paint to spread graffiti all over the place. "What's going on out there?" said Sophetia, who was looking out of her bathroom window. But when she saw Cervantes, she quickly lost her calm, gentle demeanour. "Won't that old goat EVER stay dead?" she growled. So the blonde version of Xena: warrior princess headed downstairs to fetch the Omega Sword and Elk Shield, that her loving husband had placed on the fire place for decoration. She was hoping to get out and take down the old fool (Cervantes) before Rothion could notice the weapons missing. But unfortunately, the Eagle-eyed blacksmith caught her in the act. "Sophetia my love, you're not going to try to defeat that pirate are you?" he asked, with sincere grief reflecting in his eyes. "No," said the heroine sarcastically, "I'm auditioning for the role of Knuckles the Echidna, in Herofox's new comedy!" "Oh that's okay then." He answered in a moment of cluelessness. "Wait a minute..." he said as his wife's sarcasm sunk in. But before he could finish his sentence, he was struck on the back of the head, with the Elk Shield. "I'm sorry darling, but this is something I must do, for the children's sake." And with that, she gave her comatose husband a kiss on the back of his head, and darted off to battle.

"Crisis everyone!" Yunsung yelled as he burst into the room. Then of course he got a large boot thrown at him "We're in the middle of something here!" yelled a very cheesed off Killik, who stood in his underwear, while the red faced Xianghua pulled the bed covers completely over her naked body.

"As much as I'd like to do the same thing with Cassandra," began the swordsman, rubbing his footprint-clad forehead, "Cervantes is in the city, and he has to be stopped! Where's my sword?" "Don't you remember?" asked Xianghua, "We took all of our weapons to the smithery to be cleaned." Yunsungs expression was blank. "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" he roared after a minute "Get a grip man!" said Maxi "We can use other stuff to fight until Rothion finishes with our gear."

So our heroes all grabbed to most useful looking things they could find, and headed out to catch the pirate.



Sophetia was almost to the battle zone when her tail started to catch up and run by her side, "Have you no respect, for the Sword and Shield, which I dedicated to the Gods, Cassandra?" the long haired woman asked, "Would you rather have me fight bare fisted?" answered her sister "Destroying Soul Edge is MY burden to bare!" Sophetia scolded "You shouldn't be involved in this!" "So? You never let ME do anything by myself!" said Cassandra, taking a trip down memory lane, "You even had to help me with my School studies, before the big test!" "What are you complaining about? You past in two subjects." "I STILL FAILED IN THE OTHER EIGHT!"

After a minute of running, bickering, and farting, the swordswomen caught Cervantes.

"You..." said the undead pirate, coldly "The girl who destroyed one of my beloved swords, all those years ago." Then his blank eyes light up right red "Now, I shall have my revenge!" And with that, he charged, swinging his blades at the two women standing before him. Besides, who wouldn't want to wrestle a couple of pretty blondes?

The sisters-in-arms each parried the blows from the Imitation swords, with their matching Omega Swords. However ridiculous it was to counter a blow from a sharp metal sword, with a well-carved wooden stick.

The rest of the group arrived, wielding the strangest looking collection of weapons you ever did see. Yunsung was wielding the child's sword that Seung Mina gave him on April 1st, Killik was carrying a bamboo stick he picked up in China one time, Xianghua was holding a giant calligraphy brush, Raphael was using a gentleman's cane, Seigfreid held up a Galley oar he 'borrowed' from Cervantes' ship, Ivy drew a prototype for her Ivy blade, and Maxi was using a worn out Nunchaku, that would look like tasty snack for a termite. The only people using a proper weapon where Taki, and Talim, who just popped in (Literally, In a cloud of smoke). Upon seeing this group of buffoons, Cervantes called for backup "My fellow baddies! Come and stall these fools, while I extract my revenge upon Sophetia!" And so, from the sewers arose some of the most evil warriors in the Dark Cult; Asteroph, A two-headed Asteroph and a number of ten lizard men. "Prepare for battle everyone!" called the man so evil that Hell kept kicking him back out, as he ran down the street, pursued by Sophetia and Cassandra.

"Well, this looks like fun." Said Ivy, "How shall we go about this battle?" "Take whoever you want!" Said Maxi, "But remember, Asteroph's mine!" with that last syllable he charged at the Giant, who so long ago, murdered his entire crew. "Come boy!" said Raphael cheerfully, as he put one hand on Yunsungs shoulder "Together, you and I will easily defeat this two-headed giant!" "Wait a minute!" was Yunsungs reaction to being verbally forced into fighting the giant "Why not one of the lizard men?"

"What's your problem with the two headed guy?" asked Talim "Two heads aren't THAT much better than one, since they're both the size of an ant." "No, that's not it." "So?!" yelled Taki "What's your problem then?!" "It's that head-butt tackle of his!" Yunsung yelled back "It'll look like a butt, and its gross." He whined "Oh please!" said Seigfreid, with frustration in his voice "You drop your trousers every chapter, and he grosses YOU out?!"

So began the battle of the mutants, and humans.

But while that was going on, Cervantes, parried with the duo of warrior women. They where beginning to get frustrated at how many times, their blades had struck the Imitation swords. Finally, Sophetia raised hers up to the sky, "Hephestus!" she called "give me your strength!" and then all of a sudden, the blade flashed like a bolt of lightning, worthy of being wielded by Zeus himself, cutting the evil (imitation) blades at the hilt. "Oh dear..." said the now sweating pirate "You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of!" she said to the violent, old fool. "But at least you've heard of me!" he answered, before replacing the wooden handles back in his belt, and lunged forward. Unprepared for this attack, Sophetia was grabbed by the throat, and lifted above Cervantes head. Then he grabbed her wrist, and twisted the Omega sword out of her hand. Cassandra was just about to attack the pirate of old, spoke once again "One more step, and your partner can kiss her neck goodbye."

Now he had both women, exactly where he wanted them. "Well, well, well..." said that white haired Blackbeard, of the Soul Calibur series. "Haven't you grown." Then he pulled her down to his eye level, "If only I knew that you'd grow up to become such a beautiful young lady, I wouldn't have been in such a hurry to kill you back then." Then Sophetia's greatest fears came true, Cervantes was about to try and kiss her! Her little sister was losing it, and was just about to sneak up on the perverted old fart when he opened his mouth again, "Remember!" he said "If you try anything, she's toast!" Struggling to open her eyes, Sophetia called out to Cassandra, "Don't be a dipstick! He's going to kill me anyway! Get him!" Now, Cassie was confused. She was torn between standing there and watching her sister get raped, by the least eligible man in Spain, or attack the old letch and risk Sophetia's safety. "So what's it gonna be my dear?" asked Cervantes "Watch this battle turn into a porn show, or sacrifice this ravishing beauty, and try to strike me down? You must choose!" "Oh no she mustn't!" came Taki's voice, "Hong Yunsung will rescue Sophetia, so Cassandra has nothing to worry about!" as Cervantes turned he growling head to the source of the familiar, sassy voice, all he saw was a large foot fly into his face.

Flying back into a women's cloakroom, a big crash was heard. When the old man was finally able to take his eyes away from all the screaming women, he raced out again, with his broken, wooden Sword handle. The battle raged on, as he struck the boy's head with the wood, causing a loud 'BASH!' sound. Yunsung flinched, but quickly struck back with his Childs Sword, hitting Cervantes on the side of his face, causing a noise, like a gong belling. The pirate retaliated, bashing his wooden hilt, onto Yunsungs head. The red-haired young man hit him back, with another gong of his Kids Weapon. Cervantes struck 'BASH!', then Yunsung, 'GONG!' The battle waged on, 'BASH!' 'GONG!' 'BASH!' 'GONG!' 'BASH!' 'GONG!' 'BASH!' 'GONG!'

They kept exchanging bows, until Rothion arrived with a very heavy bag. Inside, where the heroes weapons. Using weapons, made of proper metal, the Lizard men where easily turned into King Sized frog's legs.

With them all defeated, and Maxi, still strangling Asteroph, with the Nunchuks, the group surrounded Cervantes, "Well..." he said, turning pale, as Whitewashed snow, "This is quite a nice little party we have going here..." then he drew his swords (well at least what was left of them.) then put on his game face, as if preparing for battle, "Catch me if you can!" he called back, heading for the hills, in a tactical retreat.

"C'mon Killik, lets get him!" said Seigfreid, racing after the owner of Soul Edge, prier to himself, "Right!" said the victim of the Evil Seed, with Kali-Yuga ready to knock the old fart's teeth out. Being chased by two super tough warriors, like Killik and Seigfreid, the others could rest easy, knowing that Cervantes wouldn't be back.

Everyone had time to recuperate, and fortunately, the city wasn't that badly damaged. So that date was still on. Cassandra was trying to pick an outfit, and having a lot of trouble doing so. "Still can't choose Cass?" asked Sophetia, offering her experience of succeeding with a man. "No, I can't!" said her sis, Still undecided on her attire. "Well, don't worry!" said the elder sister, with a smile "To have a successful date, you just have to follow three simple rules!" "Great!" said Cassandra, as her beautiful face lit up, much like the illuminations of Blackpool pleasure beach.

"Okay," began her sister, hoping to do the will of Aphrodite, and help with her sisters love life, "First rule; Feel free to show off a bit of your body, but not so much, that he won't bother trying to see more." Cassandra nodded, and then picked her outfit. It was a green coat, with wiring around the bust, and short pants, (or as most people call it, the 2P costume). "Okay, what's rule number two?" asked Cass, fastening the belt around her waist, "Number two," began Sophetia, "If you can't think of anything to say, just put one hand on top of the other, and look at your shoes. Most guys think it's really cute." Then she struck the said pose, to prove her point, "Okay," said Cass "And what's the third?" "The third is most important..." said her big sis, holding Cassandra's shoulders, then half-shutting her eyes, "Don't get drunk, and let him shag you under the table." The shorthaired girl's jaw dropped at Sophetia's language.

Later, Yunsung and Cassandra where taking a moonlit stroll through the park.

There where a number of status of legendary Heroes and Gods all around, and flowers all over the place. They sat down on a bench, to rest awhile. Of course, neither of them could think of anything to talk about, so they just kept sneaking in a quick glace, remembering to turn before the other noticed. "So..." said Yunsung after a while, "You...play the harp, huh?" "Well, I try to." Said Cassandra, producing the string instrument, she was trying to learn. Remembering Link telling him about how Princess Zelda played the Harp, and sometimes they played songs together, Yunsung pulled out a wooden Ocarina, "Want to try a duet?" he asked, with a smile, "Okay!" said Cassandra. So they played. Surprisingly, they eventually played Emma Buntons song, 'Take my Breath away'. How they did it without a keyboard and drums is still a mystery. The tune added to the romantic feel of the environment, as someone had just dropped a bag of fairy dust. It was like Magic.

Five minutes later, they had finished the serenade, and where back to square one, where they couldn't think of anything to say. So Cassandra tried the pose, which Sophetia showed her. She placed her hands on her legs, and looked shyly at her boots.

'Boy, she's cute' thought Yunsung to himself. All he could do was stare at her.

After a minute, a long pole extended from the bushes, poking Cassandra's side and pushing her into Yunsungs arms. She was just picking herself up, when she noticed how close she was to his face. This was a little embarrassing, but still pleasurable. After pondering for a moment, Yunsung got the idea that she was coming on to him. So he wrapped his arms around her, and held her tight. The Greek girls cheeks began to turn a brilliant scarlet, as she was being held in the Asian boys strong arms. His body was beginning to feel warm, and comfortable, as if a person could fall asleep right there. Cassandra just gave in, and closed her eyes, placing her head on Yunsungs chest, with her ear to his heart. The Dragonball reference retracted into the bush, and it's owner smiled. "Mission accomplished Seigfreid!" whispered Killik, giving his battle companion a thumbs up. So the duo snuck off, baring bruises, from their battle with Cervantes. Turning back they saw the young couple kissing, a site that melted their hardened hearts. "Sort of makes you think about the girl you left behind, doesn't it?" said Seigfreid, reflecting on how he hadn't really made Ivy feel wanted, during the past few days, "Yeah." Said Killik, with his thoughts turning to Xianghua. So they walked off to be with their loved ones. Turning back to glance once more at Yunsung and Cassandra, they saw the boy lying on top of the girl, and taking off his shirt. "Lets make it a short journey, before this become R rated." The Monk offered, sweating like a pig, that's just run the London marathon. And with that, they ran like heck. "That scared the perverts!" chuckled Yunsung, putting his shirt back on, "Yeah!" giggle Cassandra. Then they went back to just hugging, and enjoying the starlight. "Hey Yunsung?" "Yeah?" "Wanna do that again?" she asked with a wink, "Yes." Said our hero, pulling her closer. So they shared another lip-lock.

The End 3

Authors Notes-

Sophetia's sarcasm, about audition for a role in a comedy is from Black Adder the Third 'Amy & Amiability'

Her argument with Cassandra was taken from the Pilot episode of 'Only Fools & horses'

The whole argument about the Two-headed Asteroph was based upon an episode of the anime 'Ultimate Muscle'

"Worst Pirate I've ever heard of!" is a quote from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'



Finally, Sophetia's advice to Cassandra, and the third rule, are based upon the episode of Blackadder goes Forth 'Major Star'

Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of Love