Kim Zambrano smiled as her son, Joey twirled so that he could see his suit.

"It looks great, hun."

"Thanks mom. I hope Abbie likes it."

"Did you just say that you hope Abbie likes it? She isn't coming, is she?"

"What would give you that idea, mommy? Of course she isn't coming."

"Fine. I'll ask if they can fit one more person."

"Thanks mom. Did you know that it's already 2:30?"

"What? It can't be 2:30! I'm not even ready for work. Joey, help me find an outfit NOW. I can't believe that I have to leave in five minutes and I don't even have an outfit."

"Mommy, breath. You packed a backpack last night in case this happened. You just need to leave now."

"Bye honey. Don't answer the phone and don't answer the door. Unless it's your grandmother. Then open it. You now the number for work. Call me if anything goes wrong whether or not your grandmother is here."

"Bye Mommy."

As Kim got in the car, she looked up and saw Joey waving to her from the window. As she waved back. That would be the last time that day she would see that face and she wanted to get the longest look she could. Then she started driving away, and she saw a note hanging out of her bag.

"If that's from Joey, it's probably reminding me that I forgot to pick something from the grocery store. I'll open it at work."

Then she pulled into the parking lot of the fire department where she worked. She saw Bobby Caffey getting out of his car.

"Hi Bobby! What are you doing getting here just on time?"

"Good afternoon, Kim, and I slept in."

"Ha, ha, ha. I didn't sleep in, I was enjoying the company of my son."

"I don't have a son, so ha. You do. You were married to Jimmy and I won't let you forget it."

"Go chew rocks."

"Make me."

"Fine."

"Okay, you win this morning, but tomorrow, I will beat you at the battle of the retorts. I shall prevail."

"Loser."

"Didn't I already say you won?"

"Yes, but our agreement says you have to do something else as well. In front of everybody."

"No. You aren't going to make me do that are you?"

"You bet I am. Why would I let you off?"

"Because I'm your best friend?"

"You are not!"

"Whatever. You said that I was. Yesterday, remember."

"Yes I remember. But I changed my mind when I saw Joey."

"Let's just go in."

They both stood there waiting for the other to go in until finally Bobby went in.

"Kim, are you at all familiar with the phrase 'Ladies first'?"

"Yes, I am. I just choose to ignore it when presented with it."

"You are so weird, you know that right?"

"Yes I do. Everybody tells me so."

"Except Doc. He's never said anything against you. Quite the contrary, actually."

"Oh, shut up."

"Make me."

"That will not get you out of saying it in front of everybody."

"Drat."

"Yeah."

"KIM!! Get me a pot quick!! The sink is leaking again."

"Not again. Here you go. Why do we get stuck with the trashy kitchen stuff."

Then Kim remembered the letter that was sticking out of her bag. Jimmy saw it just as she set her bag down. He reached over when she was getting Doc the pot and grabbed it. Then Kim turned around and saw him take it.

"Give it back, Doherty. That's mine."

"Relax, Zambrano. I just want to know who your secret admirer is, that's all."

"That's my private mail and I want it now!"

"Make me."

Kim grabbed for it and he pulled back just before she could get it.

"Give it, Doherty. I haven't read it yet, and I want to read it before anyone else does. Especially you. So give it."

All of a sudden, Bobby got behind Jimmy and grabbed the letter. Then he walked around the table and gave it to Kim.

"Thanks Bobby. You're off the hook. You don't have to say it." "Mochas gracias."

"De nada."

"So, what was it again? I forgot."

"You have to say 'Kim is the greatest'."

"That would have been embarrassing."

"Oh yeah."

Then Jimmy shoved Kim.

"Read the letter already."

"No."

"Read it now. I wanna know what it says."

"Fine."

The letter turned out to be from Joey. It said:

Deer mommy,
Hello. Eye needs a pack off crayons, police. Eye need them four skool.

Love,
Joey.
((((((((((((((((((((((((

Kim handed the letter over to Jimmy.

"Go ahead. Read it. I don't care."

As Jimmy's eyes scanned the letter, he started to apologize.

"I'm sorry Kim. I thought it was a secret admirer letter. Sorry."

"That's okay. I understand that as my ex-husband, you feel the need to know whom I date, who likes me, and all that. I, as your ex-wife, do not feel this rather odd need. I am probably just more unattached than you."

"Yeah, right."

"What? I am."

"Yeah. Whatever." He gave her an evil sidelong glance. "Who is your secret admirer?"

"Don't have one." She said as she started her laptop.

"Yeah, right. Everybody has a secret admirer. So spill the beans. Who is he?"

"He is. Mr. Non-existent."

"Come on Kim. You have to tell me. I need to know."

"I do NOT have a secret admirer, so stop asking me about who the non existing secret admirer is."

"HUMPH!"

"Right back at you, you persisting butthead."

"Well, you are an ugly dork."

"Whatever."

"Loser."

"Whatever."

"Stop saying whatever."

"Whatever."

"Are you ignoring me?"

"Whatever."

"Say whatever if you think I'm hot."

"Loser."

"Drat."

"I have to go change. See you later."

"Whatever." Said Jimmy in a mock Kim voice.

When she finally got upstairs, she saw that she wasn't alone in the escape of getting away from the noise. Bobby was sitting on one of the beds, without a shirt on, talking to someone on the phone.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just can't make it tonight. Look if you want to reschedule, fine by me. What? What do you mean you never want to schedule again? No I don't know what that's means, obviously. How is that so obvious? The fact that I asked what it meant. Hello. Hello. Well, goodbye to you to." After each sentence, Bobby paused, obviously letting her say something.

"Sounds like you just got dumped."

"I did not get dumped. I got in a fight."

"Yeah. With the girl you're dating shakily."

"We were dating quite fine."

"Ha. You just admitted you weren't dating anymore. HA-HA! You just said we were dating fine. Were. Got you. And get a shirt on. We need to go downstairs and find out whom we drive with today."

"Did you come up here with a purpose other than to annoy me?"

"Yes. Who would waste time walking around just to talk to you?"

As she said this, Kim started to walk towards her dresser/closet.

"Does this shirt make me look fat?"

"You are fat, so any shirt would make you look fat."

Kim threw a pillow at Bobby, which he tried to dodge.

"Although I do give you points for trying, I hit you with a pillow. Hee, hee."

"Whatever."

After getting behind her door, Kim started changing shirts. Then she remembered that she wasn't wearing a bra with the shirt she was wearing. She dug in her bag and found one, which she hurriedly put on. Then she looked in her bag and saw that she had packed a joke shirt from Bobby. Although she hated it, she put it on anyway. As soon as she was visible to Bobby, he started laughing hysterically. Then she yanked on her uniform.

"I never thought I would see that shirt on your body, and now you wore it to work."

Kim glared at Bobby, and then put her uniform top on over the shirt.

"That makes two of us."

"C'mon Kim. It looks good on you."

"Oh yeah. I look like a hooker, but other than that it looks fantastic."

"You do not look like a hooker."

"Did you just say Kim looks like a hooker?"

"No. I was trying to tell her otherwise. She won't listen."

"Why would she look like a hooker in her uniform?" said Alex in a confused tone of voice.

"Never mind."

"Okay. Whatever. I just came up here to change, and as lovely as it would be to have you see me without anything on, turn around or leave."

"I'll leave. I have to tell Jimmy what Kim is wearing. He'll get a kick out of it."

"If you tell him, then you have to say it."

"Kim?"

"Yes."

"One word."

"What would that be?"

"RUN!"

"Like you could get me."

As she said this, Bobby lunged forward and tackled her.

"Give?"

"Yeah give."

As soon as he let go of her arms, Kim slammed both fists into Bobby's stomach, and then kicked him.

"OW! Geez, Kim. That hurts. Where on earth did you learn to fight like that?"

"My dad taught me and he was the champ of his school."

"Great. Let's not do this again sometime."

"Don't provoke me, and I won't."

"Who provoked whom the other day?"

"You provoked me."

"You wish." "In your dreams."

Then Alex, Bobby, and Kim made their way downstairs with Bobby still rubbing his stomach where Kim had punched him.

"Hey guys. I got something to say. I only have to say this and I don't really mean it, so bear with me for a second. Kim is the greatest at the war of the retorts. Ow, get off my arm Kim."

"Do you really mean that I'm the greatest?"

"No."

This only made Kim yank his arm harder behind his back.

"Okay, I meant it." When the guys where looking at him, Bobby shook his head no.

"I saw that. Let's go, Bobby. You and I are riding together."

"Yippee! What fun. I think I might wet myself."

"Don't be sarcastic. It really doesn't suit you."

"It suits me fine, thank you."

"You are, like, so, like, not welcome." She said in a mock cheerleader voice.

"Shut up. I'm driving."

"No way. You drove yesterday. I have the keys, I drive." She said, dangling the keys.

Fifteen minutes later, Kim and Bobby were on their way to a vehicle accident.

"Don't you hate when these kinds of things happen because the kids got drunk? When I was a kid, a drink was Pepsi or Sprite, not some alcoholic beverage."

"I agree. These kids can be really stupid sometimes. Is this the kind of world we want our children growing up in? The world now is basically a few good people and a whole lot of drugs and alcohol. Why should innocent little kids have to decide whether to listen to the world or listen to God? I'm serious. Joey shouldn't have to decide whether he wants to listen me and Jimmy or the world until he is ready."

"Though I agree with you, how will you know when he is ready to decide? You won't be able to protect him all of his life."

"Yeah, and that's what scares me the most. I won't be able to protect him from most of it, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it unless I kill him before he makes the decision."

"That is kinda scary."

"I know. But I don't mean that in the same way you do."

"If it helps, I'll always be there for you. And so will the rest of the squad."

"Oh, yeah. Now there's a comforting thought. I'll have one woman and twenty men there for me. No, I'm not being sarcastic."

"You forgot the cops."

"What would I do without you?"

"Gosh, Alex was right when she said he was cute in almost every light. Not that I'm interested, because I'm not. If I'm so sure, why do I have to keep telling myself that?"

"She is so gorguess. HELLO! Why is she staring at me? That's kinda freaky."

"Why did we break up after we dated?"

Luckily, Bobby was spared having to answer with a shrug by the fact that just when she asked him, they got to the crime scene.

"What do we have, Yokas?"

"It looks like two bullet shots to the chest and one to the head on this guy, and they are just now counting and that stiff."

"Thanks."

"Welcome. What were you and Bobby talking about, in between all the smooch fests?"

"Why, we save that for after work, you silly little gal."

"Right. Whatever."

"KIM! Get that guy over there and I'll get the guy with the three bullet holes."

"Gee, your so nice. Why do you get him?"

"Because I got first pick."

"Only because you have no manners whatsoever."

"That too. You really should get moving."

Kim stepped over to the second dead guy and almost puked. He looked like a living (well, maybe not LIVING per say, but you get the idea) bullet hole.

"Did you finish counting?"

"No, but you can go ahead and mark him as dead, though cause there ain't no way this guy's alive. We're all the way up to twenty. Somebody really didn't like him, that's for sure."

"Thanks for the clarification. I couldn't have guessed he was dead."

"You done yet Kim?"

"Yep. He's dead."

***************************