Title: I've been called a lunatic for years...
*** A/N: The title of my story and the title of my chapters come from a song by Garbage 'Wicked Ways' off of their second CD, 'Garbage version 1.0'. (They are really cool if you like techno/rock and odd beats. ^.^) Whatever. I don't own the song, and I don't own Artemis Fowl. (Damn.) I own nothing, except for McGayle, Mia Prince, Maggie and the entire military base I invented in my head. *Hmmm* Military base? Hee-hee... Enjoy!
***
Two figures snuck down the lawn of St. Josephine's Academy for Gifted Young Ladies.
"I don't know if this is such a good idea. I mean I already got in trouble once and—"Said on of the characters.
"Shhh! If you don't shut up then we WILL be caught!" Snapped the other.
"Mia..." whined one.
"SHHH!" She hushed.
"Well, at least tell me one thing, where are we going?" Maggie said as they stopped in a bush outside of the boys' dormitories.
Mia pulled out a wrapped package, pulling off the wrapper, she snapped the tube in half and everything glowed an eerie green.
"We are going to disturb high and mighty Artemis Fowl off his high and mighty throne and scare the high and mighty shit out of him." Mia's grin looked all the spookier with the green light all around.
"Are you sure about this? I mean you did say that Artemis is a criminal mastermind and—"
"Look, from what I've found out from the FBI files on him, he's been stealing from the fairies underground. So, if he's used to dealing with supernatural folk, a few practical jokes shouldn't be a problem for him! Hold this."
Mia handed Maggie a gun. Maggie almost dropped it. She looked around nervously as if everyone saw her holding the weapon.
"We're not going to shoot him! We can't! Are we??" Maggie said in a hurried whisper, her voice cracking when she spoke.
"No were not going to shoot him. Jeez, you'd think you've never seen a piton dart in your life. Stand still."
Mia ordered again, she clipped a hook onto both of their belts. Mia picked up the gun and shot to the top of the building. Maggie hit the dirt as if it was going to explode. It was especially unexpected when she jerked up a little when the dart was established into the brick.
Mia rolled her eyes, "Just follow me." She muttered.
Mia climbed up the building like a cat, filled with grace and athletic stamina. Maggie on the other hand, was much worst. It was all she could do to make sure that she wouldn't go crashing through a window. Soon they reached the top of the building, and there was a door.
"It's just through that door, and down the stairs, then we find his room." Mia said running through the mission in her head.
'It's just a mission.' she told herself. No need to get overworked about it.
"Mia, did you say something about practical jokes? What's a practical joke?" Maggie asked again.
Mia turned an evil glare over her shoulder, like nothing would stop her from killing anyone in her way.
"N-never mind. Never mentioned it!" She laughed nervously. Mia cracked open the door, and then they were in.
***
Artemis sat on his bed reading once again. Finally the peace he searched for was achieved. It was dead silent; most of the boys had either snuck out for the night or were asleep, preparing for the day that tomorrow held. McGayle laid slumbering loudly in the bed across the room, snorting and growling in his sleep. Artemis was sure that he had heard him utter something about "Take your top off..." But then again that was the depravity of a horny teenage boy.
"Artemis..." Something softly whispered. It was a husky voice, a soft voice, a voice that was lighter than the wind, but deeper than the rustle of the trees.
His head snapped up, as he glanced around the room.
No one was in sight, and McGayle was defiantly asleep, because he was whimpering about his mommy, and even he wouldn't take it that far to fool his enemy Fowl.
No, the voice was a female voice.
Artemis stood and crossed the room, looking out the bay window onto the grounds below. The pale moon glowed soft over the damp blades of grass.
"Artemis, come closer...." Artemis turned slowly at the sound of the voice; in the opposite side of the room was a soft glowing orb.
"What is it?" He said to himself in hushed tones as he went in for a closer look.
"Artemis, through your veins runs noble blood..." the glowing orb whispered, the sentence echoed around the room, making Artemis's head dart in several directions trying to find the source of the voice.
"I want to taste it...." It said, the voice grew demonic, and all the lights flickered off. Artemis never panicked, but now he could find that this was the only thing he could do. He felt his way over to McGayle's bed.
But Artemis found it to be empty. Where was Butler when you needed him? Artemis could feel the cold claws of death upon him as a hot breath fanned his neck. Artemis flinched in feeling the pain that was soon to come.
Suddenly, the lights then flickered back on; sitting on the opposite bed was Mia.
"Hi Artemis." She said in sweet tones.
Artemis stood from the position crouched next to McGayle's bed. Artemis looked around slightly disoriented. He stood and shook his head slightly while brushing off his black silk pajamas.
"Why are you here? I do not know about the rules in American private schools, but there are no girls allowed in the boys' dormitories at St. Bartlebey's, kindly leave before someone catches you."
Mia pursed her lips and pouted slightly.
"Aww, that means you don't want to see me? Why I'm just hurt..."
Artemis walked across the room and started to pack his book away into his messenger bag.
"Leave." He commanded. Mia placed her hand on top of Artemis's as he reached for his Physics book.
"You didn't say that last night..." She smiled a little evil grin. Artemis jerked his hand away. She grabbed his hand again and called for his attention once more.
"Oh come on, dear Artemis. Were all alone." She smiled seductively and stroked his hand slightly.
"I do not find you attractive in that way, besides there are people in the next room."
Mia let go of his hand and leaned back up against his pillows.
"You're no fun. That's part of the excitement, getting caught..." Artemis ignored her. Mia began to trace the patterns in the sheets.
"You know for a straight guy you do have some decorating taste, then again that is if you're straight..." Artemis glared at her. How Mia survived such a sheer wish of death on the spot, I would not know.
"I am not gay." He said. "Leave." He commanded once more. Mia disregarded his command again and smiled at him.
"Well then, why don't you just prove it?"
Artemis found himself in a very difficult spot. Mia on one hand was bothering him and would not go away unless he "proved it" to her. But on the other hand, he was sure if he did indulge in such a thing as a kiss with Mia that he would not be able to make her leave.
Even evil geniuses like the idea of sex.
Mia sat waiting, smiling her catlike smile. Mia Prince had just outsmarted Artemis Fowl.
This had never happened before.
This was never supposed to happen.
But it just did.
Artemis sighed. He rolled his eyes and went to peck her on the cheek. Mia was too smart for his move. Mia at the last second flicked her head, and caused contact on the lips, and she entwined her hands behind his head.
Artemis was suddenly feeling the sense of utter dread.
He was trapped.
If this continued, he was sure that Mia would have a grip on him for a good long time, only because of his needless attraction to women.
Damn those creatures of the underworld, with those claw-like hands and sweet scents. They tempt you with of eternal love and perfumed everlasting, floating on a cloud like a never-ending dream. Then the harsh reality hits you on the head and suddenly, suddenly. She has closed her arms around you, and you begin to melt into her soul, seduced by the delusion that she presents to you. Caught forever in her trance. Damn those women, and damn their soft lips too.
Mia broke the kiss, Artemis wished it had never ended but again he had to remain cold for the sake of his reputation.
"Leave." He ordered, his voice was not intimidating, but shaking with the lack of breath and fluttering heartbeat.
Mia smiled.
"Whatever you say." She turned to leave, walking slowly towards the door. The space between them was going to shatter his very soul if it lasted any longer.
Artemis moved quickly, catching her by the wrist.
He drew her into another kiss; then another, and another, and another, until they were both out of breath, and drunk on the love that they had given each other.
"Why do you do this to me?" He asked, his voice soft.
"Because, I like to do this to people." She said with a grin. "Now, I have to go, before I get caught. I think your words were 'Leave,' and now I say, 'Okay!'"
Artemis reached out to stop her again, but this time she didn't let herself be stopped. Mia sauntered slowly out the door, and down the hall.
Artemis wanted to shout after her, but he didn't.
"Good Night, pretty sweet Mia..."
***
"Did it work?" Maggie asked.
"Like a charm." Answered Mia. "You'd think he'd never seen a girl in his entire life."
"Wow, I wish I could do that. Drive guys wild like that I mean, not kiss Artemis, cause he's yours now."
Mia rolled her eyes as they left through the front door. There wasn't really a need for the whole piton hooks and climbing down the building now, it was locked so you couldn't get in, but could get out.
"Artemis isn't mine. He won't be, 'cause, I won't be his."
Maggie furrowed her eyebrows.
"What? Why? I mean you just snogged him and left? You didn't even talk about what's happening between you?"
Mia shrugged.
"Yup. See I don't want to make it complicated, because if I start making up feelings for him, then I have to lie to get out of them. But, ya see if I don't say anything at all to him like that, then I'm home free." Mia explained clearly.
Maggie's face was still painted with shock.
"But-but you just walked up to him and kissed him and—"
Mia patted Maggie on the shoulder.
"There, there; don't have a cow. I just made him think I like him, when in truth I said nothing of the sort! He started kissing me all of his accord. He's gonna feel pretty stupid tomorrow."
Maggie walked quietly along side Mia back to the girls' dorms.
"Mia, did you start the power outage?"
"No, I don't think so. That sure was strange though!"
***
DUN-DUN-DUN!!
If the power outage and glowing orb weren't part of the plan for Mia and Maggie, then what was it for?
Will Mia like Artemis back?
Will Artemis suddenly turn into a horny teenager?
I don't know, but you'd better stay tuned! REVIEW!!!!
*** A/N: The title of my story and the title of my chapters come from a song by Garbage 'Wicked Ways' off of their second CD, 'Garbage version 1.0'. (They are really cool if you like techno/rock and odd beats. ^.^) Whatever. I don't own the song, and I don't own Artemis Fowl. (Damn.) I own nothing, except for McGayle, Mia Prince, Maggie and the entire military base I invented in my head. *Hmmm* Military base? Hee-hee... Enjoy!
***
Two figures snuck down the lawn of St. Josephine's Academy for Gifted Young Ladies.
"I don't know if this is such a good idea. I mean I already got in trouble once and—"Said on of the characters.
"Shhh! If you don't shut up then we WILL be caught!" Snapped the other.
"Mia..." whined one.
"SHHH!" She hushed.
"Well, at least tell me one thing, where are we going?" Maggie said as they stopped in a bush outside of the boys' dormitories.
Mia pulled out a wrapped package, pulling off the wrapper, she snapped the tube in half and everything glowed an eerie green.
"We are going to disturb high and mighty Artemis Fowl off his high and mighty throne and scare the high and mighty shit out of him." Mia's grin looked all the spookier with the green light all around.
"Are you sure about this? I mean you did say that Artemis is a criminal mastermind and—"
"Look, from what I've found out from the FBI files on him, he's been stealing from the fairies underground. So, if he's used to dealing with supernatural folk, a few practical jokes shouldn't be a problem for him! Hold this."
Mia handed Maggie a gun. Maggie almost dropped it. She looked around nervously as if everyone saw her holding the weapon.
"We're not going to shoot him! We can't! Are we??" Maggie said in a hurried whisper, her voice cracking when she spoke.
"No were not going to shoot him. Jeez, you'd think you've never seen a piton dart in your life. Stand still."
Mia ordered again, she clipped a hook onto both of their belts. Mia picked up the gun and shot to the top of the building. Maggie hit the dirt as if it was going to explode. It was especially unexpected when she jerked up a little when the dart was established into the brick.
Mia rolled her eyes, "Just follow me." She muttered.
Mia climbed up the building like a cat, filled with grace and athletic stamina. Maggie on the other hand, was much worst. It was all she could do to make sure that she wouldn't go crashing through a window. Soon they reached the top of the building, and there was a door.
"It's just through that door, and down the stairs, then we find his room." Mia said running through the mission in her head.
'It's just a mission.' she told herself. No need to get overworked about it.
"Mia, did you say something about practical jokes? What's a practical joke?" Maggie asked again.
Mia turned an evil glare over her shoulder, like nothing would stop her from killing anyone in her way.
"N-never mind. Never mentioned it!" She laughed nervously. Mia cracked open the door, and then they were in.
***
Artemis sat on his bed reading once again. Finally the peace he searched for was achieved. It was dead silent; most of the boys had either snuck out for the night or were asleep, preparing for the day that tomorrow held. McGayle laid slumbering loudly in the bed across the room, snorting and growling in his sleep. Artemis was sure that he had heard him utter something about "Take your top off..." But then again that was the depravity of a horny teenage boy.
"Artemis..." Something softly whispered. It was a husky voice, a soft voice, a voice that was lighter than the wind, but deeper than the rustle of the trees.
His head snapped up, as he glanced around the room.
No one was in sight, and McGayle was defiantly asleep, because he was whimpering about his mommy, and even he wouldn't take it that far to fool his enemy Fowl.
No, the voice was a female voice.
Artemis stood and crossed the room, looking out the bay window onto the grounds below. The pale moon glowed soft over the damp blades of grass.
"Artemis, come closer...." Artemis turned slowly at the sound of the voice; in the opposite side of the room was a soft glowing orb.
"What is it?" He said to himself in hushed tones as he went in for a closer look.
"Artemis, through your veins runs noble blood..." the glowing orb whispered, the sentence echoed around the room, making Artemis's head dart in several directions trying to find the source of the voice.
"I want to taste it...." It said, the voice grew demonic, and all the lights flickered off. Artemis never panicked, but now he could find that this was the only thing he could do. He felt his way over to McGayle's bed.
But Artemis found it to be empty. Where was Butler when you needed him? Artemis could feel the cold claws of death upon him as a hot breath fanned his neck. Artemis flinched in feeling the pain that was soon to come.
Suddenly, the lights then flickered back on; sitting on the opposite bed was Mia.
"Hi Artemis." She said in sweet tones.
Artemis stood from the position crouched next to McGayle's bed. Artemis looked around slightly disoriented. He stood and shook his head slightly while brushing off his black silk pajamas.
"Why are you here? I do not know about the rules in American private schools, but there are no girls allowed in the boys' dormitories at St. Bartlebey's, kindly leave before someone catches you."
Mia pursed her lips and pouted slightly.
"Aww, that means you don't want to see me? Why I'm just hurt..."
Artemis walked across the room and started to pack his book away into his messenger bag.
"Leave." He commanded. Mia placed her hand on top of Artemis's as he reached for his Physics book.
"You didn't say that last night..." She smiled a little evil grin. Artemis jerked his hand away. She grabbed his hand again and called for his attention once more.
"Oh come on, dear Artemis. Were all alone." She smiled seductively and stroked his hand slightly.
"I do not find you attractive in that way, besides there are people in the next room."
Mia let go of his hand and leaned back up against his pillows.
"You're no fun. That's part of the excitement, getting caught..." Artemis ignored her. Mia began to trace the patterns in the sheets.
"You know for a straight guy you do have some decorating taste, then again that is if you're straight..." Artemis glared at her. How Mia survived such a sheer wish of death on the spot, I would not know.
"I am not gay." He said. "Leave." He commanded once more. Mia disregarded his command again and smiled at him.
"Well then, why don't you just prove it?"
Artemis found himself in a very difficult spot. Mia on one hand was bothering him and would not go away unless he "proved it" to her. But on the other hand, he was sure if he did indulge in such a thing as a kiss with Mia that he would not be able to make her leave.
Even evil geniuses like the idea of sex.
Mia sat waiting, smiling her catlike smile. Mia Prince had just outsmarted Artemis Fowl.
This had never happened before.
This was never supposed to happen.
But it just did.
Artemis sighed. He rolled his eyes and went to peck her on the cheek. Mia was too smart for his move. Mia at the last second flicked her head, and caused contact on the lips, and she entwined her hands behind his head.
Artemis was suddenly feeling the sense of utter dread.
He was trapped.
If this continued, he was sure that Mia would have a grip on him for a good long time, only because of his needless attraction to women.
Damn those creatures of the underworld, with those claw-like hands and sweet scents. They tempt you with of eternal love and perfumed everlasting, floating on a cloud like a never-ending dream. Then the harsh reality hits you on the head and suddenly, suddenly. She has closed her arms around you, and you begin to melt into her soul, seduced by the delusion that she presents to you. Caught forever in her trance. Damn those women, and damn their soft lips too.
Mia broke the kiss, Artemis wished it had never ended but again he had to remain cold for the sake of his reputation.
"Leave." He ordered, his voice was not intimidating, but shaking with the lack of breath and fluttering heartbeat.
Mia smiled.
"Whatever you say." She turned to leave, walking slowly towards the door. The space between them was going to shatter his very soul if it lasted any longer.
Artemis moved quickly, catching her by the wrist.
He drew her into another kiss; then another, and another, and another, until they were both out of breath, and drunk on the love that they had given each other.
"Why do you do this to me?" He asked, his voice soft.
"Because, I like to do this to people." She said with a grin. "Now, I have to go, before I get caught. I think your words were 'Leave,' and now I say, 'Okay!'"
Artemis reached out to stop her again, but this time she didn't let herself be stopped. Mia sauntered slowly out the door, and down the hall.
Artemis wanted to shout after her, but he didn't.
"Good Night, pretty sweet Mia..."
***
"Did it work?" Maggie asked.
"Like a charm." Answered Mia. "You'd think he'd never seen a girl in his entire life."
"Wow, I wish I could do that. Drive guys wild like that I mean, not kiss Artemis, cause he's yours now."
Mia rolled her eyes as they left through the front door. There wasn't really a need for the whole piton hooks and climbing down the building now, it was locked so you couldn't get in, but could get out.
"Artemis isn't mine. He won't be, 'cause, I won't be his."
Maggie furrowed her eyebrows.
"What? Why? I mean you just snogged him and left? You didn't even talk about what's happening between you?"
Mia shrugged.
"Yup. See I don't want to make it complicated, because if I start making up feelings for him, then I have to lie to get out of them. But, ya see if I don't say anything at all to him like that, then I'm home free." Mia explained clearly.
Maggie's face was still painted with shock.
"But-but you just walked up to him and kissed him and—"
Mia patted Maggie on the shoulder.
"There, there; don't have a cow. I just made him think I like him, when in truth I said nothing of the sort! He started kissing me all of his accord. He's gonna feel pretty stupid tomorrow."
Maggie walked quietly along side Mia back to the girls' dorms.
"Mia, did you start the power outage?"
"No, I don't think so. That sure was strange though!"
***
DUN-DUN-DUN!!
If the power outage and glowing orb weren't part of the plan for Mia and Maggie, then what was it for?
Will Mia like Artemis back?
Will Artemis suddenly turn into a horny teenager?
I don't know, but you'd better stay tuned! REVIEW!!!!
