"So, tell me, Jack...did anyone apply?" asked Will snidely.

"Yeah," said Jack enthusiastically. "And they're almost all girls! Pretty, clever, gorgeous, slim...drool..."

"Jack, you do know that you can't actually date any of your students, right?" said Elizabeth.

"Yes!" said Jack defensively. "What do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry...just checking," said Elizabeth, returning to her copy of Vogue.

"Will, mate, is it true I can't date my students?" hissed Jack nervously.

"Yeah, mate," said Will.

"Damn! There goes one of my fringe benefits," said Jack huffily.

"Who's our first applicant?" asked Will.

A tall girl with short blonde hair came in. "Hi, I'm Jade. I've come about that advert for a crew."

"Hubba hubba," said Will.

"I'll say," said Jack. "Sigh! If only I could date my students..."

"I didn't make the rules," said Elizabeth.

"How old are you, Jade?" asked Will.

"Nineteen," said Jade. "I like athletics, I'm good at sword fighting, I'm three-times-champion of the USA Teen Bikini Modelling Competition-"

"Oh, man!" said Jack.

"And I'd love to join your crew," she finished, smiling widely.

"Welcome aboard," said Will.

"Great! Hi Jack," said Jade, sitting down next to him.

"Hi," said Jack. "Anyone else coming to apply?"

"Yeah, they're queuing down the street," said Jade, picking up a Danish pastry.

"Who's next?" asked Will.

"A girl called Amber," said Jack.

"What kind of name is Amber?" asked Elizabeth disparagingly.

Will didn't say anything. Once the bitch was out, it was wise to say nothing until it went back in again.

There was a knock at the door.

"Yeah, come in," said Jack despondently.

"Right, who's our next applicant?" asked Will.

"A girl named Amber," said Jack, consulting his list. "As you already know."

"Bring her in!" shouted Jack, thumping his rum bottle on the table. The door swung open and a tall blonde girl bounded in.

"Oh my God, you look so much like Bambi!" she squealed at Jack. "That is SO your new nickname!"

"I thought I told you to screen out the psychos," Jack muttered at Will, blushing furiously.

"I did," said Will defensively.

"Who did you reject?" asked Jack incredulously.

"The psychos," said Will.

"What did you think she was?" hissed Jack.

Amber cleared her throat.

"So, what's your name?" Jack asked Amber.

"Amber, you idiot," said Will, elbowing Jack. "You just said it!"

"Be nice to Bambi," said Amber reproachfully, glaring at Will.

Elizabeth snorted with laughter.

"How old are you, Amber?" asked Jack quickly, turning from red to purple.

"Eighteen," replied Amber, sitting down on one of the various sofas around the room and putting her feet up. She pulled out a copy of Cosmo and started flicking through it.

"I like her," said Elizabeth.

"Me too," said Will. "You're hired!"

"Great!" said Amber.

"Oh noooooo," muttered Jack.

There was another knock at the door.

"Oh...come in!" yelled Will.

Another girl with black hair and dark brown eyes came in. "Hi, I'm Deb. Hey, Will." She batted her eyelashes. "Hi, Jack." She winked at him.

"Hmmmph," said Elizabeth.

"Err...hi, Deb, how old are you?" asked Will, trying not to stare.

"19," said Deb, flicking her hair and pouting.

"What special skills do you have?" asked Jack.

"Well, I'm loyal, brave, VERY sarcastic, witty, dry sense of humour, I tend to put myself in danger even when it's completely unnecessary, good liar, I'm a flirt..."

"Ooooh," said Will, unable to contain his anticipation.

"Oooh, I know. Shame on me...well, not really," said Deb, making kissy faces at Jack.

"What? Oh, yeah," said Jack, not taking his eyes off her.

"I'm a strong and smart girl, I'd love to spend my life in the sea. I love rum..."

"Thank you God," muttered Jack.

"And my special skills are: I'm pretty good at hand to hand combat, I can use a sword, I'm a fast learner, I'm good at climbing, and I can play the innocent girl and everyone falls for it," said Deb, strolling over to Jack and trying to squeeze into the space between him and Jade. Upon failing, she simply sat down on his lap and looped her arm around his neck.

"Whoa," breathed Jack.

"I know," said Will.

"WILL!" snapped Elizabeth.

"What?" asked Will.

"Stop staring!"

"I'm not, I'm being attentive! See!" He stared into Elizabeth's face.

Elizabeth folded her arms. "You were looking about eight inches south of there."

"I was not!"

"You were!"

"I was not!"

"You were!"

"Um, excuse me..." A girl with red hair tied into two braids put her head round the door.

"Yes," said Jack impatiently, tearing his eyes away from Deb.

"I'm Candy, and...GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY JACK!" shrieked Candy.

"Get bent," said Deb.

"I will not," said Candy.

"Ladies, ladies, let's not argue," said Elizabeth. "He's not worth fighting over."

"Of course I'm not...there's plenty of me to go round," said Jack, beckoning Candy over and patting his other knee.

"That's not what I meant," said Elizabeth.

Candy ignored her, walked over to Jack and gave Deb a shove.

"Aaargh!" yelled Deb, toppling onto the floor. Candy promptly sat down on Jack's knee before she could get up.

"Hey, you, get off my seat!" said Deb.

"No way," said Candy, clinging onto Jack.

"Whoa...is this a bad time?" asked a girl with long red hair and cobalt blue eyes.

"No, no..." said Will.

"Oh good, I'm Litha," said the girl.

"Welcome aboard," said Jack, trying to keep Deb and Candy away from each other.

"You didn't even interview me," said Litha.

"And more to the point, there's no boys!" said Elizabeth. "It's not fair! Anyway, you two shouldn't be flirting with the pupils. It's exploitative, unfair, wrong-"

"Hi, I'm Vaughn," said a boy with black hair and blue eyes as he entered the room.

"-And my name's Elizabeth, how are you?" asked Elizabeth, crossing and uncrossing her legs.

"Elizabeth, darling, there's a toilet down the hall if you need it," said Will pointedly.

"Shut up, Will," hissed Elizabeth.

"Is this where the pirate school is?" asked Vaughn.

"Oh, yeah...hey, Litha?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you keep this show on the road? I'm pooped. Accept all applicants, I'll greet them in the morning before we set sail." Jack got up and yawned.

"All of them?" asked Litha.

"Yeah. And meet down here at 9am. We have to go and recruit my good friend Norrington and persuade him to lend us his ship."