"What do we do now?" asked Will.

"Let's set up a new country!" suggested Seona.

"I call president!" yelled Stephanie.

"You can't just call president," said Seona.

"Yes I can," said Stephanie.

"It was my idea that we should make a new country," protested Seona.

"It was my idea that it should be a dictatorship. And that I should be president," countered Stephanie.

"Hey, look at this," said Brittany, snapping a chunk of purple rock off a nearby boulder.

"Stop breaking my country!" shrieked Stephanie.

"It is not your country!" said Seona.

"It is! I called president!"

"So?"

"So."

"So?"

"So!"

"Stop it, girls," said Amanda. "We all know that, if anyone should be president, then it's me."

"What about me? I'm president of my school debating society," said Jade.

"I'm president of LOTR Obsessives Anonymous," said Katie.

"You're also the only member," pointed out Frankie.

"That's neither here nor there," said Katie.

"I'm president of the literary society!" said Seona.

"I'm president of my school newspaper!" said Amanda.

"And I'm president of this country, so there," said Stephanie. "This shall be my throne," she declared, plonking herself down on a nearby giant fungus.

"Harrumph," said everyone else.

"Hey, that's my lump of old cheese!" Everyone turned to see Elizabeth and Frankie engaged in a tug of war over a piece of mouldy blue cheese.

"No, it's mine!" yelled Elizabeth.

"But I'm hungry!" moaned Frankie, tugging harder.

"But it's my piece of cheese!" yelled Elizabeth.

"Who would even want it?" asked the Commodore. "It's mouldy and blue."

"I want it! It's mine!" screeched Frankie.

"Oh, boy. This isn't going to be resolved any time soon," said Rue.

"We need...a court!" declared the Commodore.

"I call judge!" said Stephanie quickly.

"Hey, that's not fair!" yelled Brittany.

"Is too," said Stephanie.

"You're already president," Litha pointed out.

"All the more reason for me to be the judge," said Stephanie. "It's my country, I can do what I like."

"Hmmmph," said Brianna, crossing her arms and pouting.

"Right. My court is now in session, this shall be my wig," stated Stephanie, scooping up a bundle of seaweed and slapping it onto her head. She looked at Frankie and Elizabeth. "State your case."

"It's my cheese, I found it..." began Frankie.

"In my trunk!" butted in Elizabeth.

"And I hereby invoke the right of 'finders keepers'" Frankie continued.

"And I use the right of property ownership," said Elizabeth haughtily. "As in, it was in my trunk before she nicked it."

"Did not!" spat Frankie.

"Right, right, settle down. After extensive deliberations, I declare that the cheese be given to...Frankie!" declared Stephanie.

"All right!" cheered Frankie, golloping down the cheese in one bite.

"Bitch," muttered Elizabeth.

"Excuse me, but you can't call me that, I'm the judge," said Stephanie. "Guards, remove her."

"Err, we don't actually have a police force," said Will.

"We should make one!" declared Laura.

"I call commissioner!" yelled Stephanie.

"Oh no," moaned Ebony.

"Someone gag her," said Natalia.

"I feel sick," moaned Frankie.

"Probably the cheese," said Jack.

"That's it! I'm suing Elizabeth for knowingly allowing me to eat rotten cheese!" declared Frankie.

"You stole it from me!" yelled Elizabeth.

"Judge! Judge, I wish to sue!" shouted Frankie.

"Application granted," said Stephanie, plucking a starfish from her seaweed- wig. "This shall be my police badge," she said, sticking it to her lapel. "State your case."

"Your honour, this woman knowingly gave me rotten cheese that is causing me to feel nauseous, and for this I claim damages," said Frankie.

"Bollocks!" yelled Elizabeth.

"Excuse me, this is my court..." began Stephanie.

"For goodness sake, SHUT UP!" yelled Elizabeth.

"That's it! Call the police to arrest her!" yelled Stephanie.

"You are the police," said Candy.

"Oh. Then call the coastguard!"

"We don't have a coastguard..." began the Commodore.

"I call captain!" yelled Stephanie.

"Oh, bloody hell," said Seona.

"Look, why don't we just settle down for the night, we can discuss it in the morning," said the Commodore.

"OK, this is where I'm sleeping," declared Elizabeth, shoving Frankie off the rock where she was sitting and lying down on it.

"Hey!" yelled Frankie, getting up and rubbing her head.

"Let's get out of here," Jack muttered to Candy, grabbing her arm and pulling her into a cluster of trees.

"Wha..." began Candy, but Jack shushed her. They both sat down on a nearby log.

"Look, I know I've had my fair share of women...well, I've had a lot of people's fair share of women...but...well...hmm..."

"What is it?" asked Candy.

"Well...would you like to maybe go out with me sometime?" Jack mumbled at his feet.

"Hell yeah!" said Candy, before remembering that you're not meant to seem too keen. "Yeah, OK, I suppose that'd be fun," she said with a grin.

"Great!" said Jack, before lunging at her.

"Jack...erm...maybe we shouldn't do this right now," said Candy, summoning a great deal of willpower and pushing him away.

"What? Why?" asked Jack.

Candy pointed wordlessly at a nearby tree, where Frankie was clearly visible sitting on a branch.

"Hello," she said, with an evil grin.

"What? Oh, just piss off, would you?" said Jack impatiently.

"No," said Frankie, grinning more widely.

Jack moaned and groaned before settling down to sleep next to Candy. Morning could not come soon enough.

"Look at the stars," said Candy reflectively.

"Huh?" muttered Jack, rolling onto his back and looking up at the sky, which was indeed speckled with stars. "Oh yeah. Hey, look at that one!"

"Isn't that Venus?" said Candy. "Oh, how romantic!"

"Yeah. Goddess of love, wasn't she? I bet she looked just like you."

"Aaaahhh!" said Candy. "Keep talking!"

"Well, the appearance of the planet Venus probably signifies love-"began Jack.

"Hey, isn't Venus the planet with the poisonous gas and rivers of burning acid?" piped up Frankie from her tree.

"Well..." said Jack, but Frankie interrupted again.

"And the searing temperatures, and the huge volcanoes..."

"Shut up," said Jack warningly.

"And did you know that if you stepped out of your spacecraft onto the planet's surface you would be squished to a pulp by the pressure, dissolved by the acid, fried by the heat and poisoned by the gases simultaneously?" concluded Frankie.

"Ewwww!" shrieked Candy.

"You really know how to kill a moment, don't you?" said Jack pointedly.

"Yes," said Frankie happily. "I have to. I have a hormonal elder teenage brother. It's a skill developed over the years."

"Really?" said Jack, reaching behind him for a stone to throw at Frankie to shut her up.

"Yes. He's called Stefan, and the amount of times I've ruined a romantic evening for him..." She rattled on. Jack carefully took aim.

"He really hates me now, I can't understand-OW!"

"Problem solved," said Jack, rolling over and going to sleep.

Apologies to other rabid Johnny Depp fans out there, only one girl could end up with Jack! Fear not, I shall make it up to you......