Disclaimer: I don't own the copyrighted characters or songs! Will you people please quit calling me!? You're bugging my phone, aren't you!? Oh, I got you, buddy! Ahem, sorry about that, folks, you, ur, weren't supposed to see that….
Bonjour!
Yeah, I know it was a little sudden to go to Louisiana, but they're on vacation, right? The reason it was so quick is because there are only so many jokes and gags you can have on a cramped little airplane. Well, so many politically correct ones, that is… Plus, I'm a horrible acrophobic (when I'm in high places I become nervous as hell), and the thought of even going on a plane makes my stomach churn…. How I wish I were joking about that….
Chapter Seven
Day Seven: Ain't that a Kick in the Head?
'I should have known better with a girl like you
That I would love everything that you do
And I do,
Hey hey hey,
And I do,'
--The Beatles, 'I should have known Better'
TO: InterpolZenigata0967
FROM: CyberSamurai23
SUBJECT: Hi, Dad….
It's been a while, huh? Sorry I haven't been keeping you up-to-date as much as possible without telling you where we are. I'm sorry I can't tell you where I'm typing this from, but they're Lupin's rules, not mine! :) Anyway, I talked to Mom, recently (like you'd even want to know that) and you're right—She hit the roof when I told her where I was and what I was doing with whom. Happy? I'm starting to doubt if she'd come when I get married. She called me ungrateful for talking to you. Oh, well, you can't please everyone.
Goemon's doing a lot better, but I had a kind of scary encounter yesterday with someone Fujiko seemed to know. Some lady who calls herself Natasha Yalkzalta with a pretty powerful military-issue weapon and a pretty bad attitude, if you ask me. I did some research on her, turns out she's an ex-Israeli operative. I've yet to find out why she left the military. Do you have some information on her? I know you usually don't like doing anything for my thieving 'stepbrother' (let's face it, he even calls you 'Dad') and his gang but I'm asking you this as your daughter who's just worried about her life and her friends lives.
There are two other guys we've connected her with—An Indian guy named Ravi Patel who's just as good at sword fighting as Goemon and a British guy Manchester named Collin Gilmour. You might remember him—He's the reason you almost killed Goemon. There's also one other who I've connected to them, which I don't know how to place… Ming… She seems nice, but she was one of them, and she's sparse on information about these people; I think she knows more than she cares to say. The only thing is, she practically saved Yukiko yesterday, and she's never tried to hurt or doublecross us. Plus I'm starting to think Jigen has a crush on her, which makes it a little harder to think of her as one of them. She's the one I need information on more than anything.
Please help me, Dad…. I'm really worried; they've been trying to kill us all, and I don't know why. I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye, and stay safe! Try not to work yourself too hard!
Love,
Toshiko
Amaya sighed as she clicked the 'SEND' button on her computer and looked back at the darkened room. It was only four in the morning, and everyone else was asleep. Lupin had wanted to go out and kill Natasha, but an exhausted Fujiko had suggested they wait until the morning. So Amaya, who was known to have bad cases of insomnia, and resigned herself to take the time to e-mail her father, something she had been putting off for quite a while.
How did I get to this? She thought as she opened a file on the computer. She was just supposed to find Zenigata in the beginning, and now here it was, a few months later, and she was still there. Amaya smirked as she heard a rustling from the tatami mat on the floor. Goemon too had wanted to see Natasha dead for what she had done. Amaya remembered why she had stayed. Who would've thought the most unpopular girl in school; the one that all of the others used to make fun of because of her intelligence, would end up with him? she thought.
"I better get to sleep…" Amaya muttered, closing out of her program and inching over towards the mat. She lied down and put the blanket over herself, and closed her eyes. She was nearly asleep when she heard Goemon sit up in the bed. She grumbled and turned over on the mat as he switched on a light, "Dammit, it's too early…." She groaned.
"Come on, Amaya," Goemon bent down and shook her a little, "It's time to get up…"
"I told you I'm not a morning person," Amaya grumbled.
Goemon sighed in defeat and sat down next to her cross-legged, "I heard you while you were on the computer. You know I'm a light sleeper…"
"Sorry if I woke you up," Amaya muttered.
"It's no problem," Goemon replied.
Amaya held her head up and leaned on her elbow as she spoke to him, "What's wrong with you? You're more pensive than usual…."
"I…" Goemon looked downward and turned back to his good friend silence.
"Come on. For having such a selective vocabulary, I'm sure you can find the words," Amaya said with a yawn.
Goemon exhaled and looked downward at Amaya, "I wanted to know if you would consider marrying me, if, if the thought had ever occurred to you…."
"What? Goemon! It's a little early in the morning for this, don't you think?" Amaya laughed, "The thought has occurred to me many times. I've thought about it quite a bit, actually."
"Really?" Goemon shot his head upward. His face showed slight signs of being surprised, and Amaya nodded.
"I always wondered how you would ask, and it was never quite like this…." said Amaya, "I also thought of how I would answer, although, that didn't take much thought…"
"Well?" Goemon asked.
"What do you think?" Amaya inquired.
"I think you're going to make me ill with nervousness if you do not answer quickly," Goemon countered.
Amaya chortled and sat up in her bed, "I said yes. Every time it was the same."
"Even now?" asked Goemon. Amaya nodded her response, and was taken by surprise as Goemon embraced her.
"You're choking me!" Amaya hissed pounding on Goemon's back fiercely as she gasped for air.
"Oh, sorry," Goemon drew back, "I'm not used to being extremely expressive, and I tend to overdo things a little when I try…"
"Don't worry," Amaya said as she rubbed the back of her neck, "What am I going to tell my father? Or my mother…. Oh, great God, my mother…." Amaya groaned and put a hand to her forehead.
"What's wrong with your mother?" Goemon inquired.
"She never liked anyone I brought home," Amaya replied.
"Well, I will just have to make a good first impression," said Goemon.
"If you can make my mother think well of you, I would believe you if you told me you were the next incarnation of Buddha," Amaya answered. She watched as Goemon quickly rose and dressed. "Where are you going?"
"To tell Lupin and Jigen, naturally," Goemon said as he tied his robe together and looked back at Amaya.
Amaya shook her head and sighed as she watched him exit the room hurriedly and go to tell his friends the news, "He's crazy, but I love him…" Amaya crawled over to her computer, clicked into a program, and began to type feverishly. The message only took her a few moments to jot down, but it was perhaps one of the hardest things she would ever say to her father.
TO: InterpolZenigata0967
FROM: CyberSamurai23
SUBJECT: Please make sure you've taken your medication before you read this….
Dad…. I'm getting married to Goemon…
Love,
Toshiko
Amaya sat back from the computer contently and smiled, "Well, that takes care of that…. Now to tell Mom… Boy, I better wait until we go back to Japan before I tell her…."
"Jigen?" Jigen heard a knock on his door, and raised his head. At first he thought it could be Yukiko; she sometimes accidentally locked herself out of the room if she went to talk to one of his friends at night. But when the voice repeated, he realized it was Goemon, with a perplexing sound of eagerness in his voice.
"It's five frickin' fifteen… What the hell could he want at this hour?" Jigen muttered, "Jesus, I hope he doesn't expect me to get up and do Tae Bo or whatever the hell he does at the crack of dawn… Once a decade is enough…" he rose out of bed, found his glasses and a bathrobe, and opened the door, "Why in God's name are you so cheery this early? Moreover, why are you so cheery? It's kind of creepy…."
"I asked Amaya to marry me, and she said yes," Goemon replied.
Jigen stood there, stunned. Wow, both Goemon and Lupin… Married… Jigen realized he was simply staring blankly ahead, and quickly regained himself, "I, uh…. That's terrific, man. Good job. I can't wait… I'll, uh, see you in the morning…. Later, I mean…. Right now I've got to get a little more rest…. My teeth are bothering me…" he lied, and closed the door. He turned his back to the door and leaned against it. Jigen looked upward at Yukiko on the left side of his bed and Ming sleeping on the cot.
He walked over to the mini bar and found a bottle of bourbon, and completely neglected taking a shot glass, but instead taking the entire bottle back to his table in the corner to drink. He seated himself in one of the comfortable chairs and looked outward at the window overlooking the Mississippi River, "I should be really happy for him… Both him and Lupin… Dammit, I hate feeling sorry for myself, but what else can I do? Some guys are meant to be loners—Jesus, did I really say that? Well, I guess it's true… There are some people who are—Oh, I just have to shut up, before I depress myself too much…" He undid the cork of the bottle and took a drink from it, but after a few drinks he realized this did not help his situation, and he screwed the cork back on.
Jigen looked over at Yukiko and sighed, "If I don't do it for me, I might as well do it for you… It's the way Sakura would've wanted it, and I know you want it… But be extroverted? Me? Trying to actually go out and meet people? On purpose!?" Jigen shuddered at the thought, "I just need to go back to bed… This'll all go away tomorrow…"
He rose, laid the bathrobe on the dresser along with his glasses, and lied back down on the bed with only his thoughts and an oncoming headache. A few hours later, while he still lay awake on his mattress, he heard Ming awake from her cot. He slowly opened his eyes, and could see a shadowy figure moving about the room. He could not make out for certain what it was doing however, because his vision was most impaired at night.
Ming sat up in her bed and looked over at the master bed, and then at the digital alarm clock next to it on the dresser. It was 6:20 in the morning, and the sun was already starting to give the sky a purplish hue, and it shown through the parted curtains in the bedroom. She stood, stretched and glanced over at Jigen and Yukiko.
She smirked, scratched her head, and walked over to Jigen's side of the bed. She looked down at him and folded her arms, and kneeled down in front of him.
What the hell? Was Jigen's first thought as he saw Ming hovering over him. What was she doing? He tensed up as he felt her face come closer towards his, and he wondered what Ming's plans were. Was she going to try to strangle him in his sleep?
Ming inched closer and closer to Jigen's face until their noses almost touched and she could feel his breathing. She put one hand on the side of his face, and cocked her head a little to the side. Just as Jigen's thoughts began to travel as to what could possibly happen now, Ming spoke, "Only in your wildest dreams, Dillinger…" she whispered.
Jigen immediately shot up in bed, his eyes wide in horror and surprise. Ming tried to quell her laughter in an attempt not to awake Yukiko, and put a hand to her mouth, "Just a little something to keep you on your toes…."
"Why I…." Jigen gritted his teeth and balled his fists.
"It's just a joke," Ming laughed, and punched him in one of his shoulders. She stood and then seated herself on the edge of the bed, and looked Jigen up and down a few times, and then smiled, "You're not bad for an older guy… Hey, if I make it out of this alive, maybe we can go out sometime…."
"No, thanks," Jigen answered quickly, "I think it's safe to say you'd kill me if we went out."
"Too bad," Ming shrugged, "I know, I'd probably be a bad influence on your daughter," she added with a distinct tone of sarcasm in her voice.
"Was that a crack at my parenting skills?" Jigen inquired.
"No," Ming shook her head, "I think you're pretty good, all things considering… You really love her, huh?"
"The third girl I ever loved," Jigen replied.
"Third?" Ming asked in interest, raising her eyebrows.
"Sure—My mom and Yukiko's mom," Jigen answered. Ming laughed warmly, and Jigen looked downward at her, "You know you look a lot better without the makeup…." He said. The usually unembarrassed Ming flushed at this, and opened her mouth to speak. She was interrupted, however, by the sudden opening of her hotel door.
Lupin chortled slyly and leaned against the doorway, "I disturb you guys?"
"N-No!" Jigen sputtered, and reached for his glasses. He quickly put them on and looked onward at the bemused Lupin and Goemon, and then over at Ming, with a nondescript look of surprise on her Asian features.
"Okay," Lupin smirked, "I wanted to see if you guys were up, and apparently you are…. But I can see you're both a little busy…."
"Lupin!" Jigen growled.
"Oh, don't be so modest, Jigen. Have a little fun for me, okay? You can send Yukiko on over to my room if things start to go past a PG rating—God knows nothing's been going on with me for the past month," Lupin said with a wink. He closed the hotel door, and Jigen slammed his head back onto the headboard.
"Damn it! He and Goemon are like annoying kid brothers!" Jigen hissed.
"Shush! You'll wake up Yukiko!" Ming whispered. She rose, and adjusted her yellow monkey-print pajamas, "Well, I better get ready for the day. You can get a little more rest if you want."
"Thanks," Jigen turned over in bed and tried to fall back to sleep, but found it did not come easy. He would've usually been able to deal with Ming's quiet rustling in the bathroom, but the fact he had allowed someone to get that close to him without doing anything disturbed him. He heard Ming come back out from the bathroom, and saw she was strapping on one of her many bracelets. She fit in with the group for the pure and simple fact that she stuck out from everyone else in the world.
"Can't sleep, huh?" Ming inquired as she looked downward at him, "You should try Tylenol P.M.. That crap will knock an elephant out for several hours!"
"I'll keep that in mind…." Jigen muttered.
"Hey, I want to practice today," said Ming, shaking him a little. Jigen looked above at her wearily and crawled out of the bed after some contemplation. Ming let out a small catcall as she watched him walk across the room, and Jigen looked back at her, daring her to make another sound. Ming did not, but simply crossed her arms over her chest and smiled in a self-satisfactory manner, "You know, I hear you gain fifteen pounds when you quit smoking… I can only hope that's true for you. You look like a good trip through the buffet line would kill you."
Jigen wordlessly opened his closet and picked out his usual black suit, and trudged into the bathroom. He looked over at the shower rod, and saw a woman's bra hanging from it. He grabbed it, opened the bathroom door, and threw it at Ming. She let out a small yelp of surprise as it made impact with her, but this exclamation of surprise was soon followed by a long good-humored laugh.
Jigen shook his head tiredly and closed the bathroom door once more, and then turned his attention back to the medicine cabinet and counter. He balked at the many assorted types of makeup on the counter, and picked a few up to inspect, "What happened to lipstick, eye shadow, rouge…. What's this crap?" he muttered as he set one of the multi colored vials down onto the counter, "Jesus… No one better light a flame near this girl…" He shook his head in disbelief as he realized he was simply beginning to feel his age and went over to the shower to turn on the hot water.
Meanwhile, Goemon and Lupin were in the next room, trying to figure things out. Amaya and Fujiko were talking about wedding plans; many of which they clashed against. Fujiko wanted more of a Roman Catholic ceremony, while Amaya opted for a traditional Shinto ritual. Both agreed on rings for the ceremony, however, much to their fiancées' dismay.
"We're going to have to go for a little five-fingered discount…" Lupin muttered to Goemon. Goemon silently nodded his response, and sighed heavily, "Hey, what else is on your mind? You have that more-distant-than-usual thing going on."
"Jigen…." Goemon answered after a pause, "His expression…. When I told him after Amaya and myself…. It's hard to place what exactly it was…"
"I know what you mean. He's lonely, but there's nothing we can do…" Lupin muttered, "It's a real killer to see him some days…. But we're hitting Chicago next, so that ought to raise his spirits…."
"Why's that?" Goemon inquired.
"He knows Chicago like the barrel of his gun. He was even talking about raising Yukiko there for a little while," Lupin replied, and turned solemn, "And there in itself is a problem…. I want to raise my kids in France, where my family is. I'm sure you and Amaya want to move back to Japan, as traditional as you guys are…. I never really thought about it, but our next heist could be our last…."
"We can think about that later. Right now we should be worried about surviving," Goemon said grimly.
"Yeah, I know," Lupin nodded, "I'm working on it, Goemon, don't worry."
"I don't," Goemon answered, "I will never trust you with my wallet, but I will always trust you with my life."
Lupin shook his head, and picked up a magazine from the table, and glanced through it. His eyes went wide, and he slammed his fist down on the table, "Perfect!" he yelled happily.
"Huh?" Goemon shot his head up in surprise of Lupin's sudden outburst.
"I've got just the thing that can solve at least one of our problems, my Toshiro Mifune-like friend…" Lupin smiled widely and shoved the magazine across the table to Goemon. The samurai picked up the magazine and scanned out the page, and soon a small smile was on his face as well.
Goemon glanced up from the magazine at Lupin, and both looked at one another knowingly, "Truly the Gods have blessed us with this turn of good fortune…"
"Yeah, don't I know it!" Lupin cheered as he picked up the magazine once more and read over the title, 'Priceless Egyptian Jewelry to be on Display at Chicago Museum'.
"What are they yelling about?" Fujiko inquired as she and Amaya searched the Internet for wedding ideas. Amaya had brought her laptop in, and set it up in Lupin's room.
"You should know by know that they're always like that," Amaya muttered vaguely as she scrolled downward. She glanced up in the side corner of the screen, and noticed she had mail, "Hey, maybe my Dad answered my mail!" she said excitedly as she clicked on the mailbox icon, "Huh… Who's this?" she asked herself as she opened the mail.
TO: CyberSamurai23
FROM: AnArChIsTiNtHeUk
SUBJECT: Congratulations on your engagement…
Let me first say that your fiancée is very cute when he's asleep. Okay, now that that's out of the way—I know that Goemon didn't quit your team. He's a lying scamp, I know, but what can you say? I like a little villainy in a man. Plus, I just can't stay mad at him…. Sigh…. It has to be the looks; I'm a sucker for the tall, dark type. The other two men you hang out with are all right, but a little too mob-like for my style…. And Fujiko, ah, well, let's say she isn't my type….
I also heard about your marrying him. You're one very lucky little bitch, you know that? He's too good for you… I wish you luck, but just be warned—I'm not giving up this battle without a fight, first.
I hope you like your engagement gift…. It's a nice little virus…
Silly girl; don't you know you're not supposed to open mail when you don't know who sent it….
Cheers,
Colin Gilmour, Professional Hacker and Role-playing Game God
Amaya gaped in shock as she watched her screen turn black, and jumped up quickly, "CRAP!" she screamed, "I'm going to kill that limey son of a bitch if it's the last thing I ever do!"
Lupin looked over at Amaya with great surprise, and then back at a passive as usual Goemon, "I'm used to this by now," Goemon said calmly, reaching over to the table and grasping onto his cup of tea, "What can I say? Love and justice are blind."
"Yeah, and it's got a dartboard that helps it pick out who falls for who…." Lupin muttered.
