Gambit stayed that way, arms spread open as if he wished to fly, eyes clenched tight against the pain he anticipated. However, none came. He waited several minutes before experimentally opening one eye.
"Gambit be dead? Dat not hurt so bad as I thought…"
Suddenly, he felt himself being hoisted upwards by an iron grip on his jacket. Adamantium, actually. Gambit found himself being tossed back up over the ledge, a low snarl accompanying the hard "thud" of his body hitting a near by wall.
"Well, ya thought wrong, Gumbo. I don't know what's goin' on round here…. Somethin' doesn't smell right. But whatever the hell is goin on around here, there's no flamin' way I'm lettin ya jump and take Rougie's heart with ya."
Remy's jaw dropped. Logan… Logan had been in Japan. When did he get here? Did he not know that Rogue was…?
"Quoi?"
Gambit managed to spit out several minutes later, his mind a haze of shock and horror.
"Yeah, ya heard me, Gumbo… she fallen for ya. Fallen real hard. But ya know if ya ever hurt her… ever even think of breakin her heart, I'll have ta kill ya."
Logan smiled at the young Cajun man, not a joking smile, but a deadly grin that showed his glistening fangs. The smile died quickly as he saw tears begin to well up in Remy's eyes. He had expected the Cajun would be thrilled to know how she felt, Logan had been able to smell their desire for each other for as long as he could remember. Remy began stuttering, a look of fear and pain in his eyes.
"What!? What is it, kid? Spit it out!"
Logan was more than slightly confused and quickly getting pissed, and a little nervous. He'd never seen his fellow X-man in tears before. What the hell was going on? Leave on a little vacation for a couple months and everyone goes crazy while your out?
"Rogue… Rogue's… gone…"
Remy sobbed, the tears spilling fresh down his cheeks again. Logan hoisted him up by the collar of his shirt, staring him level in the eyes, their noses almost touching.
"Where is she?"
Logan growled, a feral look coming to his eyes; a look that chilled Remy to the bone and left him gulping for air like a beached fish. Angry and frustrated, Logan turned abruptly, dropping Remy and swiftly walking back into the mansion. Even with his long, graceful legs Gambit nearly had to run to keep up with the enraged man barreling his way down the halls. Storming into Professor Xavier's office, Logan planted himself so firmly and abruptly in front of the massive oak desk that Remy nearly ran into him.
"Where is she, Chuck? What's goin on round here?"
Charles Xavier looked his long time friend dead in the eyes with a sigh. He had dreaded this inevitable moment but had not expected the sharp stab of pain that accompanied the memories of the past month.
"She's gone, Logan."
Logan growled furiously, sick of this game.
"Gone where? What the fuck is goin on around here?! Just spit it out already, Chuck, I'm done playin'!"
Wolverine's adamantium claws shot out, anticipating a fight. He didn't know who had Rogue, but he'd do whatever it took to get her back.
"Who is it this time? Apocalypse? Sinister? You name it, Bub, I'll get her back."
A heavy sigh escaped Professor Xavier.
"She's dead, Logan."
A blank look fell over the sharply etched features, the fire in his eyes seeming to die instantly. The claws automatically retracted and he stood there, dumbfounded.
"Dead…."
He repeated it, twirling it through his mind. He sniffed, searching desperately for her scent; the warm musky spice he'd come to love. In its place he found only the stale, rotting stench of sickness and pain. He bit his lip furiously, fists clenching, he roared. The sound was neither human, nor animal, but pure pain. A scream of furry, a howl of sorrow, a sob of pain rolled into one; the sound of an adamantium heart breaking. The claws shot out, burying themselves deep in the solid oak desk in front of him before he stomped out the door, nearly ripping it from it's hinges. At that instant everyone in the mansion froze. The Wolverine was home.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Gambit stood silently in the cold, early morning mist, a shiver chasing down his spine as he watched Logan bent double over her grave, shaking. He'd known he would find Logan here, and from the thin layer of frost dusted over his hair and shoulders, he'd been here most of the night. Logan did not cry, not now anyway. Never when someone was looking, too macho for it, Remy supposed. He was not surprised by Logan's response though; he had always known how deeply the older man had cared for his Southern belle, though as a friend, daughter, or something more, Remy decided he'd probably never know. Gambit took a step forward, hoping to comfort Logan, who immediately began to growl.
"Get outta here, kid. You've had your turn, now its mine."
Remy wasn't phased by this response and stubbornly persisted.
"Non, mon ami… Gambit fraid I can't do dat. Logan, ya hurtin' right now, just like Gambit be. Thinks ya need a friend, me…"
"I said, get outta here…" Logan snarled
The claws shot out in warning, but in a moment of realization, it occurred to Remy they were more of a shield than a sword. While others would see only the glint of deadly metal, Remy heard the edge on Logan's voice… he was starting to crumble. Remy continued to slowly advance towards Logan, who tensed, cold reddened hands gripping the grave of the one he hadn't been able to save. Logan jumped as he felt strong arms wrap around him from behind, Remy's soft, gloved hand finding Logan's, rubbing gently between where the claws emerged.
"Put does away… dis is not a time to be fightin'"
Ever so slowly, the claws retracted, momentarily leaving scars where they had been. Remy began to rub the light scars, continuing even after the outward signs of pain had vanished.
"I know it hurts, mon ami… it hurts real bad. I feel it too, me. But I gonna be sure you don't gotta face de pain alone…"
The hand around Logan's waist began to move, coming to rest above his heart, gently rubbing the place that ached so badly, soothing the hut with his own body heat. Logan's defenses cracked, the heavy walls crumbling down and he burst into a fit of sobs.
"Shhh… it ok"
Remy turned Logan in his arms, holding the older man close as he began to shake, guiding Logan's head to rest upon his chest, wrapping the brown trench coat around him for warmth. The sudden wetness of his shirt alarmed Remy, and he tilted Logan's face up towards him, gasping silently. Logan's eyes were filled with blood; red smeared his face as the crimson droplets continued to stream down his cheeks.
"Oh Cher, dis why you never let anyone see you cry?"
The young Cajun smiled painfully at Logan, tears building in his own black and red eyes as Remy stroked his wild hair. Neither one could say who started the embrace, they seamlessly melted together, holding on for dear life, weeping in each other's arms. Tentatively, Remy raised his head to look at Logan, dipping forward to lick the drying blood from his cheeks. Logan was stunned, jaw hanging slightly open in surprise. However, as shocked as he was by what Remy was doing to him, Logan was even more shocked to find he was… enjoying it? He'd never been held or comforted before… never had someone been so tender as Remy was. Choking back a sob, Logan returned the gesture, licking the sweet, salty tears from Gambit's cheeks, kissing the closed eyes. Logan fought a blush as he found himself admiring how soft the Cajun's skin was, the silken texture disrupted only by a sharp patch of stubble. Suddenly embarrassed, as if he'd somehow known Logan's thoughts, Remy turned his face away, resting his aching head on Logan's shoulder. Kneeling beside the quiet grave, the two held each other for a long time, until the mist parted to reveal an icy grey sky, and a chill wind began to make the two shiver anew.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Non… non, can't be… Non!"
It was happening again; the nightmare that wouldn't go away. Remy found himself running down an endless hallway, at the end of which he could see Rogue laying on a soft, lace covered bed, like a princess in a fairy tale. The light streamed down on her face and she smiled, waiting for her prince to come and wake her. He ran down the hallway towards her, but suddenly his foot was caught and he fell so hard he lost his breath. He looked down and saw a snake, scales huge and dark like chips of polished onyx. Eerily familiar red eyes peered up at him as the snake wrapped around his foot, the dark forked tongue flickered in and out between jutting fangs. It seemed uninterested in him however, loosening its coils and slithering away down the hall towards Rogue instead. Remy fought to get up, but found himself bound within the coils of hundreds of smaller snakes, each with the same onyx and ruby coloring. He watched in horror as the snake reached Rogue, twining itself around her, forked tongue probing the skin of her neck, searching for… ah yes, there it was, the tender pulse. Remy cried out, fighting for his life, hitting a wall in an attempt to break the coils of the snakes. It was too late though, and he looked up just in time to see the hideous fangs drive deep into their target, heard Rogue's scream of pain…
Down the hall, Logan woke with a start. He sniffed the air, searching for what had disturbed his slumber. It was then he heard Remy's scream. The groggy effects of sleep slipped away instantly as he bolted out the door and down the hallway. He didn't bother knocking, for by now he could smell the struggle, pungent as fresh blood. Grabbing the handle, he rammed himself against the door. What? Locked? Who the hell ever locked their door around here? Another bitter scream pierced the night and the lock gave way beneath adamantium claws. Logan burst through the door, splintering the polished wood like a twig.
The sight that met Logan's eyes was worse than he had feared. He glanced about the room, looking for Magneto, or Sinister, or perhaps even Sabertooth. The adversaries he'd hoped to find were nowhere to be seen though. There was only Remy, thrashing on the floor beside his bed, tangled in the sheets. A toppled table, a broken lamp, and tears. Tears most of all. Logan knelt beside him on the floor. By now, others had woken, crowding by the splintered door. Scott pushing to the front of the crowd.
"What's happening here?" Scott demanded angrily.
"Nothing I can't handle, One Eye"
Logan growled bitterly, reaching towards Remy who still thrashed, lost in the throes of the nightmare. The claws retracted after their intimate moment with the door, and Logan gently proceeded to untangle the sheets from Remy, who was slowly beginning to wake.
"Quoi…?"
He looked around confused as Logan hoisted him up into his arms.
"Come on, kid… ya done enough damage for one night."
Logan strode towards the door, the crowd parting to allow them through. Scott stared after them disapprovingly, inwardly sickened by the way events were turning.
"Why couldn't he have just stayed in Japan… "
He stalked off in the opposite direction of Logan, leaving his wife staring after him, dumbfounded.
Remy stared silently over Logan's shoulder.
"Where you takin Gambit, Cher?"
He murmured so softly Logan barely heard it. What was that in his voice…fear?
"Someplace where I can keep an eye on ya, Gumbo… don't want ya hurtin yourself or somethin."
Logan kicked open the door to his own room, dropping Remy rather roughly just inside the door. Immediately he turned, stalking towards the bathroom, hoping the young demon eyes would overlook the color staining his cheeks, but even more so that they would not see the fierce protectiveness building in his heart.
"Cher, wait…"
Remy still stood by the door, feeling shaken and confused. Logan froze, taking a deep, shaky breath before he spoke.
"You can sleep in the bed tonight, Cajun… ya been through enough. I'll take the couch. Now go to sleep."
Remy's words of protest went ignored, as only the bathroom door was present to hear them.
"What be happening to Gambit…"
He stood for several long minutes, staring at the place where he had last seen Logan's well muscled back, trying to justify the reason why his head was swimming and his cheeks felt as if they were burning. With an uneasy sigh, he turned towards the bed, climbing beneath the sheets Logan had just recently occupied. Remy could still feel a spot of warmth where Logan had slept, and he curled up into it like a kitten. Logan's scent was heavy on the pillow beside him, and he pulled it close, burying his face against it. The smell was strong, deep and wild, yet slightly sweet, and though it tickled his nose, he pressed his face deeper into it, drifting into a slightly more peaceful realm of sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Logan stood staring into the bathroom mirror for a long time. Why had he brought Remy here? Why had he acted the way he did? And why on earth was he.. blushing?? He stripped off his clothes and climbed into the shower, turning the hot water down as low as it would possibly go. The water was absolutely freezing, and so was he. This was what he needed though, for with the cold came clarity of mind. He stood beneath the icy spray for nearly and hour, simply thinking.
He thought about Rogue's death. An unknown virus, they had told him, thought to be harmless to mutants and possibly even to humans. Yet somehow it had interfered with her unique DNA, causing her powers to mutate further. However, the reaction of her changing powers clashed with the powers of all those she had ever absorbed, causing what would be a fatal reaction. Professor X had told him they did not yet know how she had contracted the virus, but that they hoped to discover it soon. They told him there was nothing he could've done, but he knew that wasn't the case. He vowed then that he would see Rogue's death wasn't in vane; and that his own pain would be avenged. That made him remember Gambit. Remy… sweet Remy who suffered worst of all. Logan was old and tough, he'd faced death before, and while it hurt badly, he had long since learned to live with the pain. But Remy… Remy was young and tender. He had faced loss too, but could he stand through this pain? The thought of Remy tossing and turning, plagued by nightmares night after night made Logan's stony heart ache. The wave of protective love that washed over Logan unnerved him, making him feel uneasy. He shrugged it off, telling himself it was nothing, no different than the love he felt for Jubilee or Kitty…. Or Rogue. Climbing out of the frigid shower some time later, Logan dried off, shaking the remaining water from his wild mane.
Stepping back out into the bedroom, he found Remy looking so tiny and helpless curled up in his huge oak bed. Logan began to blush all over as he felt a sudden urge to hold the sleeping boy. Shaking off the edge, Logan lay down on the couch, pulling up a blanket. He left a small lamp on, in case Remy were to wake up, confused by his surroundings. Laying his head on the flat, uncomfortable cushion beneath him, Logan tried to sleep. However, the much desired rest would not come, and instead, Logan found himself watching Remy from across the room for the rest of that endless night, for the first time in many, many years feeling slightly scared about what life might be throwing his way next.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sometime near dawn, Logan finally gave up on the thought of sleep, sitting up on the torturous couch.
"Jeez, Chuck, ya shouldn't let Jeannie pick out the furniture. As if the fact that it's got FLOWERS wasn't enough,"
He mumbled under his breath, shaking himself all over before finally standing, his aching muscles slowly relaxing as his healing factor kicked in. However, he found himself still aching inside. Deep beneath the adamantium, in a place his healing factor could never reach, he found himself hurting more keenly than he could ever remember hurting in his life. He strode over to the window, peeling back the curtains. The first, hazy light of dawn warmed the frigid room and revealed the layer of soft, white powder that was beginning to coat the ground. The sigh that escaped Logan's lips was anguished, and his head drooped.
"I know, Cher… she use to love de snow."
The broken voice from beside him sent him into defensive mode, muscles tensing for battle, until he saw the tortured demon eyes of the man next to him.
How had he…?
The cat like stealth the Cajun possessed unnerved Logan; he'd never been caught off guard… ever. However, the sigh Remy released as he wrapped his arms around himself for warmth and reassurance, paired with the fallen look in the red on black eyes dissolved Logan's anger and apprehension. Instead of defending his wounded pride, he took a deep breath
"Yeah… she'd always seem to know when it was snowing, she'd wake up right away and run and bang on my door. She was always so excited, she'd beg me to go out flyin with her in the snow… in the middle of the night! I never did. Just not my thing, ya know? I'm too old for that kid stuff, playin in the snow and all. Besides, I like keepin my feet on the ground. She'd look so crest fallen though, but she'd just disappear down the hallway before I could call her back. Eventually she stopped askin me…. I never knew if she ever found anyone to go out flyin with on those nights…"
His voice trailed off, and they stood silently for several minutes before Remy's nearly inaudible voice answered.
"She did. Ma first year here at Xavier, de only room dey had for me ta go was in de ladies wing. Ma room was right next ta hers, and one night, I wake up to de sound of tears. It was so cold…I was freezin ma tail off through a pair of flannels and jeans, and a sweatshirt. Turned out ta be snowin. She let me in through de connectin door, and she told me how much she love de snow, and she wanted ta fly wit someone, but no one would go wit her. She t'ought no one loved her. I went flyin wit her dat night, and every first snow dere after. I never forget de smile on her face.. I tink does were de only times she was truly happy. Just glad he got ta be part of it, me…"
His voice broke, and Logan could smell the tears even before he heard them fall upon the window ledge.
"Ah kid…" Remy gasped as strong arms wrapped around him, eyes flying wide in shock, red and black eyes locking onto cobalt blue for a split second before looking away.
"God, kid… your freezin!"
But of course he would be, Logan realized as he held Remy, who was trembling all over, clad only in a pair of well-worn, paper-thin jeans. Warm, callused hands rubbed up and down Remy's back, trying to warm the icy skin.
"Now no more cryin, ya hear? You and I both know she wouldn't have wanted it that way. Fact, she prolly woulda dumped snow in both our shorts for bein such a couple a grumps on the first snow."
They both couldn't help but laugh at the thought, and for a moment, the tension eased, and Remy let his arms slip around Logan, returning the hug. Logan's hands continued rubbing up and down Remy's back, warming his skin and relaxing the tired muscles.
"His skin is so soft"
The thought rang through his head again as he pulled Remy closer to him, breathing in the strange spicy scent of him; so beautiful. Logan suddenly realized his smell was similar to Rogue's, only strong where hers had been delicate, and distinctly masculine. Warm and spicy, like the Cajun atmosphere he'd grown up in. For a moment, the ache subsided as he soaked in the smell and feel of the man in his arms.
Remy snuggled closer into the embrace, a sleek, cat like movement that made Logan's blood run hot. The feline appeal was only enhanced by the soft purring noise that tickled Logan's ear, causing him to force back a soft growl of his own. Instead, Logan nuzzled Remy's hair.
"Oh, that's soft too"
Logan's hazy mind seemed to register as he rubbed his face against it. Nudging Remy's hair aside with his nose, Logan saw a soft silver glint through the wavy auburn strands. Investigating, Logan found Remy's ear, pierced by a silver hoop.
"That's funny" he thought to himself, "never knew the kid had a pierced ear"
Logan caught the small silver hoop between his fangs, tugging gently, his breath hissing in Remy's ear. Remy whimpered softly, and this time Logan couldn't suppress a growl. Long, lean, thief fingers dug into Logan's back as he began tonguing the thin curve of metal as it slid through soft Cajun flesh. The soft hitch of breath, then Remy carefully squirming away from the soft bite Logan had on his ear. Remy looked into Logan's eyes, searching for something; he wasn't sure what. His mind was buzzing, and suddenly he found their lips were inching closer together, their noses touching, lips…
"Everyone, report to the Ready Room immediately"
Logan and Remy practically jumped apart as the Professor's telepathic message echoed through their minds. Blushing, they both stood staring at the floor for several moments before Remy broke the silence.
"I better go ta my room and get dressed. I meet you in de Ready Room, Cher."
Logan nodded and Remy hurried out the door and down the hall to his room, the door still a mass of splintered wood.
"I hope Gambit not gonna have to pay for dat…"
The Cajun thought to himself, throwing on his shoes and a black shirt, grabbing his jacket and hurrying to the Ready Room, his mind and body still buzzing with excitement from his encounter with Logan.
"What on earth be happenin ta Gambit…?"
He sighed and tried to calm his boiling blood, saving the question for later contemplation. Luckily, he heard the quickly approaching sound of footsteps.
"Hey Gambit, wait up!"
Jubilee's voice echoed off the corridor walls, waking any remaining sleepers. He turned just in time to catch her as flung herself at high speed into his arms.
"Gambit glad ta see you too, Petite."
And lately, he had found he was genuinely glad to see the bubble gum blowing teenager. Something about that cheerful, carefree smile.
"Gambit, have you been crying again?"
She tried to sound as if she was scolding him, but the concerned note in her voice rang out all too clear for him to miss.
"How you be able to tell, Petite? Gambit eyes always be red…"
He playfully ruffled her short, dark hair and she batted his hand away, complaining she'd just brushed the wild raven locks, which he rather doubted. They both laughed and continued to joke as they walked to the Ready Room, and for just a short while, Gambit found he was able to forget about Rogue… and Logan.
