DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Lupin III characters. We know that by know, though…

Ohayo!

Read some information on the Lupin live action movie they're thinking about doing in America…. Praying to God, Shiva, Buddha, Allah—Anyone—That Hollywood does a good job. And the guy who produced Schlinder's List is the one who came out with the information about this…. That's just one of those things that make you go HUH!?…. I just hope to God it's not like the Lupin movie they made in Japan in '74. If you've ever seen screenshots of this thing, it's enough to make your blood run cold. Lupin's played by a Japanese man… In a white leisure suit…. With an ascot…. And Jigen sort of reminds me of Charlie Chan on some levels… And Goemon's not even in it, which is sort of a good thing, for him because they probably would've screwed him over just as bad… Sorry, just had to get that all out. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I know some have been looking forward to meeting the happy families. And if you can find the time, please review!

'The wind is low the birds will sing,

That you are part of everything,

Dear Prudence won't you open up your

eyes?'

--The Beatles, 'Dear Prudence'

Chapter Seventeen

The Next Day: Country Road, Take me Home

"Jesus, Jigen! You think you can drive any less smooth!?" Lupin yelled to his driving comrade.

"Sorry! I can't help it if these people never bothered to pave their roads! Believe me—All of my fillings are rattling right now!" Jigen answered as he tried desperately to gain full control of the vehicle, "Goemon, you okay back there?"

"As good as can be expected," Goemon replied quietly. He turned to Amaya, "Your mother is coming as well, isn't she?"

"Later…. Maybe…" Amaya replied with a shrug, "I'm not sure…. Did you pick up the gallon of milk?"

"Yes," Goemon nodded, looking down at the plastic bag by his feet, "Boy, are they going to love this…"

The group pulled up to a temple, and Goemon let out a small shudder as he looked upward at the red structure. Lupin and Jigen got out first, and began to pull Goemon's wheelchair out from the back of the car, which proved itself to be a difficult task. Lupin gave the wheelchair a hard tug, and looked over at Jigen, and noticed the gunman remained frozen in position, "What the hell's wrong with you!? I need help!"

"Someone's got a sword pointed to my back…." Jigen said slowly. Lupin looked at him in shock, and quickly drew his gun and pointed it to the person wielding the sword. He smiled in good humor as he saw it was only a young boy.

"Hey, Kid, you want to let us get this?" Lupin asked, pointing the little boy's blade away from Jigen, "We'll play with you later."

The boy growled and jumped back, "Do not touch my sword! What business do you have here!?"

"The owners' son is getting married," Jigen replied, "We're the guests."

"Nonsense! I'm their only son!" he snapped in response.

"Huh?" Lupin frowned, "What's your name, kid?"

"Toshiro Ishikawa," he replied, sheathing his sword, "And you. What are your names? And why do you speak such lies?"

"They ain't lies, Kid," Jigen replied, lifting his fedora up. Jigen turned to Lupin, "You know who he looks just like?"

"I couldn't place it before, but, yeah…" Lupin nodded. The boy was about eight or nine, with black hair that was kept long, and dark eyes, and wore a white and blue gi. "You look just like Goemon, minus about twenty years!"

"Goemon?" Toshiro shot straight up suddenly in surprise, "Did you know him?"

"Did?" Jigen and Lupin asked in unison.

"He died before I was born," Toshiro said, looking downward. Currently, the car door flew open, and Goemon cautiously exited, placing his weight on a cane he had come with. Toshiro and he looked at one another in stunned silence, which Yukiko ended up breaking.

"Your little brother's cute," she whispered to Goemon.

Toshiro looked over at her, and turned a light shade of red, but then turned his attention back to Goemon, "How do I know for sure you are who you say you are?"

"Find my mother and father," Goemon responded, "They will tell you who I am."

"My father's dead," Toshiro said quietly.

"Dead?" Goemon gulped dryly, and he suddenly grew frantic, "He's… How!? Who did this!? When!? Who killed my father!?"

"My father died from a heart attack about three years ago," Toshiro replied solemnly.

"A…" Goemon leaned against the car, stunned, "Dead! How could this happen!?"

"I told you already!" Toshiro snapped, "It's not like he was your father! You can't be! If you are, why did you leave the family!?"

"Let me see my mother. Is she okay?" Goemon asked in great concern.

"Mom's fine," Toshiro hissed, "You should leave. Please. I don't want to have to fight you."

"Put down that toy and let me through, child. I don't know for sure if you are who you say you are, either!" Goemon snapped.

"Would you two stop it!? You're both sounding like stubborn children! Goemon, get in the wheelchair!" said Amaya authoritatively. Goemon sighed heavily, hobbled to the wheelchair Lupin and Jigen had finally wriggled out of the van. Toshiro smiled in satisfaction, but this quickly vanished when all heard a woman's yelling from the temple.

"GOEMON!" a husky woman in a kimono screamed , running down the steps and to the wheelchair-bound Japanese man. She embraced him tightly, to the point of Goemon choking for air.

"Woman! Stop your coddling this instant!" Goemon yelled. She quickly dropped him back into the wheelchair, and Goemon leaned back, looking upward at the sky. He looked back at her, and a look of realization crossed his face, "Mom!? Oh my God…." When he had left, his mother had had a full head of black hair and had been thinner than Jigen.

"Oh, thank the Kami (Shinto term for Gods), you recognize me! Where were you!?" she asked.

"Uh…. She doesn't read the papers much, does she?" Lupin muttered to Jigen. Jigen nodded numbly in response.

"Toshi, this is your older brother, Goemon," said Goemon's mother, taking the little boy by the shoulders and placing him in front of his older brother. Toshiro looked upward at Goemon wordlessly, and Goemon looked downward at him once more, "I'm sure you heard about your father by now…" she sighed sadly.

"Yes," Goemon nodded, "I—Where's Uncle Heiji? Or Grandfather?"

"Your grandfather's still alive!?" Yukiko gasped in astonishment.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. Apparently there's a lot I've missed out on in the past, oh, ten years…." Goemon answered, turning back to Yukiko.

"I can reassure you, both are still living. What I would like to know now is who these people are…" said Goemon's mother.

"Well…. This is Arsene Lupin, my boss and one of my best friends…. That's Fujiko Lupin, Lupin's wife and another associate. This is Daisuke Jigen, my coworker and a friend as well. This is Yukiko Jigen, his daughter—My niece—And his wife, Li Yan Jigen."

"Well, it's actually Ming, but that's a long story…" Ming replied.

"And who are you?" inquired the woman, pointing to Amaya.

"Amaya Zenigata," Amaya replied.

"She's my fiancée, Mother…" Goemon said slowly, "We've been engaged for a few months. I came because I want to get married here, at the temple, "Mom… Mom, do you feel all right? I—I think you need to seat yourself for a few moments… You look very pale….."

"I send you away ten years ago to get a gallon of milk, and you come back wanting to get married…." she muttered in disbelief, "What happened? Where did I go wrong? Really, come on… What happened? Why did you leave?"

"Maybe you all should go. I have some issues to resolve," said Goemon, turning to the others.

"Come on," Yukiko jumped out of the car and put her fedora on her head. She took Toshiro by the hand and drug him away, "Come on, let's go play! I don't see many kids my age!"

"Well, that's got to come from her mother…" Lupin muttered to Jigen, "She actually admits she likes people. She doesn't wait for someone to make the first move…"

"I don't always wait! I didn't wait with Ming!" Jigen hissed quietly.

"You know, we can go for a walk, too, Jigen… We don't get too much time alone anymore, and there's not much we can do besides wait," Ming said quietly, putting her hands on his shoulders, "Why don't we go park the car together?"

"Huh? I—Oh, okay…" Jigen smiled and nodded.

"Oh, God!" Lupin yelped as he caught the gist of Ming's words, "Nothing too freaky, guys! It's a rental!" he called. Goemon sighed heavily and put a hand to his face in embarrassment.

"Come on, Goemon. We have a lot to talk about," said Goemon's mother, taking his wheelchair and leading him up the temple via a ramp on the side.

"Well, I guess that leaves us all alone, Fujiko," Lupin said with a wide smile.

"Not quite," Amaya said quietly. Both turned, and Fujiko smirked as she read Amaya's agitated expression.

"Amaya, don't worry, she'll like you!" said Fujiko reassuringly, taking a few steps towards her.

"It's not her I'm worried about. It's my mother," Amaya replied nervously. As she spoke, a silver Audi pulled up to the temple, and Amaya's eyes grew wide in horror.

A Creek by the Temple:

Yukiko laughed again as she jumped across another stone, Toshiro following close behind her. She finally crossed to the other side, the young boy following close after her. Toshiro looked back at the creek, and bent down to drink some water. Yukiko took a step back and frowned, "Do you know what government waste that water's crawling with?" Yukiko asked.

"No," Toshiro replied as he rose and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, "And I guess it's better I don't, huh?" he smirked, and flicked her hat upward, "What's with the goofy hat, anyway?"

"It's not goofy!" Yukiko responded, "It helps me to shoot better! Just like with my dad!"

"Shoot? Quaint," Toshiro smirked, "What do you have, a popgun?"

"A Walther P-38, just like Lupin!" Yukiko snapped, "And I can fire it, too!"

Toshiro, seemingly unimpressed, sat down on a smooth rock, and looked around at the nature surrounding him. Yukiko, seeing as how he was in no hurry to move, sighed and sat down next to him, "So, what do you like to do for fun around here?"

"Swimming, martial arts—I like listening to music," he replied, "I found some records in the basement of the temple a couple of months ago."

"What? Do you like classical stuff? That boring crap, right?" Yukiko inquired.

"No," Toshiro shook his head, "Elvis."

"Oh," Yukiko's face lit up suddenly, "I like Judy Garland. And Gene Kelly, too! But Elvis isn't bad! You aren't, either!"

"What?" Toshiro shot his head up.

"I don't get to talk to many people around my age—Mostly adults, or at least older people… Although you sound like one of the older people," said Yukiko.

"Well, I don't have anyone to talk to, either. Except for my sensai, my grandfather, uncle, and mother… Oh, and my pet birds! I have three of them!" said Toshiro proudly, "They're green with red chests! And they have brown eyes, and they sound very beautiful! You ought to hear them!"

Yukiko smiled widely, "Hey, you want to go look around this place a little more? They have nothing like this in France, and I lived in the city in Japan, so I couldn't see much like this!"

"Don't worry—You're around this long enough, this all starts to look boring, too," Toshiro answered.

Back at the Temple:

A middle-aged Japanese woman stepped out of the car, and Fujiko, Lupin, and Amaya could see she was on a cell phone, "Yeah. Well, my reception sucks because I'm in the middle of BFE—So I'll call you later. Bye." She turned off the cell phone and turned her attention to Amaya, "Where the hell have you been!? You leave almost a year ago, and suddenly I'm reading on the news how you're an accomplice to robbery! Jesus, I should've never have let you go off and join that Shinto Temple…. I knew it was some sort of cult!"

"Nice to see you too, Mom. I've been great, how about you?" Amaya inquired stiffly.

"Good. Worried sick, though!" she answered in a snap. She looked over at Lupin and Fujiko, "Aren't you supposed to be in jail?"

"Long story, Ma'am," Lupin replied with a smile, "I'm a great fan of your husband's work."

"I'm sure. And he's my ex-husband," Amaya's mother answered.

"Jeeze, can't anymore just have a set of normal parents?" Fujiko muttered.

"Not in this family," Amaya sighed, "Mom, Dad's on his way now, so—"

"What? Your father's coming!?" Amaya's mother yelped.

"Yeah…" Amaya bit her lip, "Come on, I want you to meet someone…. My fiancée…."

"Your what?" Amaya's mother looked above her sunglasses, "You're dating now!?"

"Yeah," Amaya nodded, "Come on. Let's go up to the temple. He's in there."

"Are you marrying one of those religious freaks?" Amaya's mother asked painfully as her daughter led her up the stairs of the temple, Lupin and Fujiko close behind them. Amaya shook her head, and opened the door of the house behind the temple. There sat Goemon in the living room, his mother across from him. One could tell the way the conversation had gone by the annoyed look on the samurai's face.

"Mom, this is Goemon Ishikawa XIII," Amaya said proudly, walking over to her future husband.

"Oh my God, you're marrying a hippie," Amaya's mother answered, putting a hand to her face and shaking her head tiredly.

A Little Ways Outside the Temple:

"Yeah, this was definitely one of your better ideas," Jigen said to Ming as he sat up in the back of the van began to retie his tie around his neck. He found his hat in the driver's seat, and put it back on his head, "There's not much privacy anymore, especially when we go travelling."

"I know," Ming nodded as she stretched and sat up in the back of the van, "And we'll have even less time now, with the baby. We still have to tell everyone…"

"Lupin and Yukiko know, but that's it," Jigen answered. He looked around quietly, then looked at Ming again, "You know, they're probably still just talking…" he said in a mutter suddenly.

Ming sighed, "Okay… Fine…." she leaned forward, put her arms around Jigen's neck, and kissed him. Jigen smiled and laid her down on the floor of the minivan, both oblivious to a set of eyes outside.

"You kids almost done!?" they heard suddenly. Jigen and Ming both looked upward in surprise, and Jigen quickly drew his gun.

"Rat-boy!" Jigen yelled in a mixture of surprise and anger as he spotted the familiar figure standing at the opened car door, "What in God's name are you doing here!?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Rat-boy responded with a sly laugh, "And here I was, thinking you were Lupin's bitch! Is he very jealous?"

"Why does everyone who thinks we're a couple always think I'm the bitch!?" Jigen asked in frustration as he worked his way to the front seat of the car.

"Can I get a lift?" asked the fellow thief.

"Yeah. How about to the ocean? I'll even give you a nice pair of cement shoes as a parting gift!" Jigen replied in a snap.

"Who are you?" Ming inquired as she sat back up in the van and adjusted her blouse.

"Friend of the family. How about you?" asked Rat-boy.

"I'm his wife," Ming replied, pointing to Jigen.

"Jigen!? Married!?" Rat-boy laughed.

"Yeah. Why the hell is that so hard to believe!?" Jigen inquired angrily.

"Nothing. I just didn't think you had enough money to pay a girl to actually marry you!" Rat-boy responded.

"This cannot possibly get any worse…." Jigen muttered, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Hey, Love. Can I get a lift? The cab wouldn't take me up all of the way," Jigen raised his head, and saw Collin now standing next to Rat-boy.

"Holy—Fine! Get in, both of you!" Jigen snapped, and gently pushed Ming off of him. He climbed into the driver's seat, and turned the car on as the two entered, "It's bad enough Goemon's meeting up with his family again. Now he has an annoying rat and his gay stalker to contend with!"

Rat-boy looked over at Collin nervously, and scooted away from him. Collin leered, "Not if you were the last man on Earth." Collin said in a hiss.

Back at the Temple:

"Hippie!?" Goemon shrieked in response.

"Amaya, can I speak to you?" Amaya's mother asked quickly, taking her daughter by the arm and leading her out. As the door closed, all could hear yelling from the other side. Goemon groaned and put a hand over his eyes, and shook his head.

"Why is God punishing me? What next? My father exhuming himself just to beat me for insolence?" Goemon muttered to himself. The door opened again, but instead of Amaya and her mother, Jigen, Ming, Collin, and the Rat-boy entered. Goemon looked at Jigen coldly, and unsheathed his sword. Lupin's eyes widened, and he quickly reached for the sword, pulling it away from Goemon.

"Goemon, are you okay?" his mother inquired.

"No! No, I'm not!" Goemon replied a yell, wheeling away from them, "Why the hell you brought them here Jigen—Damn it, I need to speak to Amaya! I should have never come in the first place! I knew this was a bad idea!"

"Goemon," his mother started, and rose from her seat..

"Save it!" Goemon snapped, and quickly exited from the living room.

"I miss something?" Collin inquired after an awkward silence.

"Poor boy. And he used to be so happy, too…" Goemon's mother sighed.

"Him!?" Lupin yelped, "Happy!? How!? What the hell happened to him!?"

"He was very hyperactive. He sensai managed to focus his energy, though… And we also had him on Ritalin at some point…" she replied, "Good God, what would his father say to all of this? He's getting married, and he didn't inform any members of the family until recently! After ten years of nothing but an occasional card with a large sum of money—Money he stole! His poor father—It broke his heart that his son had become something like that…. That's what drove him to his death…"

"Did you actually tell him that!?" Fujiko gasped.

"Of course. It's true. My husband was still strong before Goemon left. But after he vanished and Toshiro was born, his father's health deteriorated rapidly…"

"You told him he was responsible for his father's death!?" Lupin gaped in surprise.

"You bitch!" Jigen snapped angrily. Goemon's mother looked over at the American severely, "Well, you know what, it's true! He's not any more responsible for his old man's death as I am for mine! Jesus—I'm going to go find him and talk some sense into him…"

"Good idea," said Lupin, "Ming, Fujiko, you go see what's going on with Amaya—I'm going to watch over these two chuckleheads…."

"Hey!" Collin snapped in response, folding his arms, "Bloody Frenchman… Looks more gay than I do!" Rat-boy looked over at Collin once more, and backed away from him a little, "Freaking please! Don't flatter yourself!" Collin sighed heavily.

Jigen exited the house, and found Goemon not far from the home, overlooking the land his family had owned for generations. Jigen sighed heavily and sat down next to Goemon, and searched his pockets. He retrieved a yo-yo, and looked downward at in interest. He flicked it out a few times, catching it every time, "I do this when I feel like smoking…"

"Does it work?" Goemon inquired.

"Sometimes," Jigen replied. He stopped throwing the yo-yo, and looked down at the red object, "You know, my dad died five years ago…."

"A victorious shootout, I suppose?" Goemon asked.

"Nah. He was insane from syphilis by the time he croaked. He got it when I was still a kid. My grandfather died of syphilis, too. I'm the first one in three generations who doesn't have some sort of STD. I actually saw him once before he died—He was crazy as a loon, and kept calling me Frank…" Jigen admitted, "It wasn't your fault that your dad kicked the bucket. It happens to everyone. It was just his time…"

"But perhaps I should have stayed… I could have helped my family…. They needed me…" Goemon looked downward, "And Toshiro! I had a little brother I didn't even know about, Jigen! I don't know what to say around him!"

"Well, I had a daughter I didn't know about. So I guess I can relate with you…" Jigen looked up at him from the brim of his hat, "You know what, if your family doesn't like Amaya, so what!? Screw them and their approval! And the same goes for her and that yuppie mother she has! I almost feel sorry for old Pops, being married to such a bitch… I can see why he went running…"

Goemon glanced outward at the oncoming sunset, "I suppose you're right, Jigen. Perhaps I was not the blame… But I still feel bad for abandoning them…. I'm sure there were times when Toshiro needed his older brother around…."

"Hey, where is he, anyway? And where's Yukiko, for that matter?" Jigen inquired, looking behind him. Both then faced one another in the shocked realization that they had not seen the children for hours. Goemon rolled back into the house, Jigen following after him.

Back Inside the House:

"You—You lost them!?" Ming yelped, "Jigen, you lost Yukiko!? And Goemon, you lost Toshiro!? Oh my God…. They could be anywhere!" Amaya by this time was back in the living room with her mother, both looking icily at one another. Amaya's expression did change, however, when she heard of Yukiko's disappearance.

"I can't believe you lost her! And you expect us to raise a baby!?" Ming yelled to Jigen.

"Baby!?" Goemon turned to Jigen in surprise.

"God, and he's the last person I'd want dipping in the gene pool!" Collin muttered.

"I hear you on that one," Rat-boy admitted, "Baretta having one kid is one too many."

There was a knock on the door, and Ming opened it. There stood Yukiko and Toshiro, and behind them were Zenigata and Natasha. He had given Yukiko a set of handcuffs to play with, and she practiced picking out of them as she stood there.

"I found them on the drive up here," Zenigata said, pointing downward to the duo.

"Thanks, Pops," Jigen bent down in front of Yukiko, "Are you okay!?"

"Yeah," Yukiko nodded, "Toshiro showed me around the place. It's really neat; they have a creek there!" she turned to Toshiro, "Do you want to show me your birds?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah! Come on!" Toshiro began to run up the stairs, Yukiko following close after him. Amaya's mother looked scornfully at Zenigata, and then turned her expression to shock as she laid eyes on Natasha.

"Hello, Koichi," she said quietly.

"Uh… Himichi… Nice to see you again," Zenigata replied quietly, looking downward at the ground.

"Who are you?" she asked Natasha.

"I—" Natasha stopped, "I'm a good friend of his…."

"Wow," Himichi shook her head, "I don't believe it…. You're a piece of work, Koichi… Hey, Lady, don't bother—He's intelligent, but he has no idea in hell how to run a family…."

"Can we please not start this here!?" Amaya snapped.

"Toshiko, after everything that happened—I had to work us up from nothing!" Himichi answered.

"Mom, you're just bitter. I know what happened, but it's all different now! I'm grown up!" Amaya replied.

"You're twenty-three!" her mother yelled.

"She's twenty-four," Zenigata answered quietly, "Her birthday was last month, Himichi."

Himichi looked at him in a glare, and shook her head, "Listen. It's late. I know the wedding's tomorrow, so I'll be there then. I just have to go…" she pushed her way past Zenigata and Natasha and exited the home.

"And to think… I still have to explain to my uncle and grandfather where I've been," Goemon muttered, breaking the silence. He turned to his mother, and walked over to her, "I hope you can forgive me for leaving you, but you must understand that I did not mean any harm by it—"

"Any harm!?" his mother bolted from her seat, "Any harm!? You abandoned your family, when we spent years instilling a sense of loyalty, honor and trust in you!"

"I am loyal, but only to people who are loyal to me. I have honor, but it is not the usual kind. And I do trust people, but only a select few," Goemon replied.

His mother shook her head, "You aren't the same person you were ten years ago… You had no care for money, only for knowledge—And you took up most of your time by studying to become the best samurai since Goemon Ishikawa the first!"

"I am good, Mother. You just never quite saw it. You loved me, but you never encouraged me," Goemon replied, "Now I come to allow you to meet my future wife. And unlike everyone else in my family, I am marrying her because I actually love her, not because she's from a prominent family. If anything, her family is infamous."

"Just like ours is now," his mother said with a wry laugh, "You certainly did place our family back on the map. The media would could, you know. Ask about you, or if we knew any of your friends, which until now I did not. These are the people you are loyal to, I suppose? People who you just 'met up with'."

"Actually, we all tried to kill one another before we teamed up," Lupin interjected. Fujiko and Jigen nodded their heads in addition.

"I—" his mother sighed, and looked downward, "You are welcomed to use the temple, Goemon. Amaya, I am not sure if I like you or not because I am not yet sure of your character. But I so far have a good feeling about you. I am sure you two will be very happy here. Welcome home, Goemon-chan, I'm glad you've finally come back to stay…"

"Back to stay!?" all yelped in response.