DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Lupin characters—They belong to Monkey Punch, Pioneer, blah, blah….

Allo!

How're you guys doing? I know I've been busy as hell lately… Trying to juggle this among a million other things… Well, it's getting close to the chapter everyone's been waiting for…. No, not the end—The Ishikawa-Zenigata wedding. Anyone who's just skimming these chapters and read 'Ishikawa-Zenigata wedding' probably thinks I'm some weirdo perv now. If you're only skimming, go back and read the chapters! I know there's a lot, but it'll make sense if you do!!! Well, I warned them…. I'll be back soon, guys, but until then, enjoy this next installment.

'Hey, Bungalow Bill,

What did you kill,

Bungalow Bill?'

--The Beatles, 'The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill'

Chapter Eighteen

Immediately after Chapter Seventeen: Sunshine Superman

"You really do like Elvis, huh?" Yukiko muttered as she looked around Toshiro's room, and noted all of the posters on the walls.

"Yeah, but I like other music, too," he replied as he kneeled down and retrieved his record player from underneath his desk.

"Like who?" she inquired, sitting down next to him.

"Well, I just found this record today. Someone threw it out, and I picked it up," said Toshiro, removing some papers off of an album and putting it on. There was a small pause, and then the music began to blare loudly. Yukiko jumped back in surprise, her fedora falling from her head.

"What is it?" she inquired, "Who's it by?"

"The Beatles," Toshiro replied, "Have you heard of them?"

"Yeah," Yukiko sat back in position, and adjusted her hat, "They're pretty good." Both turned back as they heard yelling from outside, and they sighed.

"Guess they're at it again…." Toshiro muttered.

"They haven't stopped since we came in…" Yukiko said sadly, and turned her attention back to the record player.

Outside:

Rat-boy and Collin had wisely chosen to leave, and return in the morning. Goemon sat in stunned silence; was his mother expecting him to stay? Lupin and Jigen were in an argument, about what he did not know nor did he care to know. Amaya remained motionless while Fujiko began to speak to her, and Ming currently joined in the fighting with Jigen and Lupin. Zenigata looked around as if this were nothing new, and Natasha glanced over at the group nervously.

He turned to his mother, and spoke, "I did not come to stay. I came simply to stay a little while…."

"Then you're gone for another ten years!?" his mother finished in a yell, "Your grandfather and uncle are upstairs right now! What am I going to tell them!? That their missing relative has come to stay, but only for a little while!? Someone has to look after the shrine!"

"Then let Uncle Heiji do it!" Goemon snapped, "Mother, I have a career! A career I cannot quickly get out of! I made a decision ten years ago, and I am standing behind it!"

"Lord, you're stubborn… We should've never have taken you off of your medication… It made you irritable…" his mother muttered.

"No, listening to everyone's bitching made me irritable. The medication only made me enigmatic," Goemon responded as he glanced over at the arguing Lupin, Jigen, and Ming.

"Where you learned this language…" she sighed and put a hand to her head, "I suppose we can straighten this out in the morning, when we see you. Believe me, Goemon, we're very happy that you've met someone, but I'm not sure if she meets our credentials."

"I know, Mom," Goemon nodded, "You are just worried for my own well being. I will see you in the morning," he turned to leave.

"Would you take Toshiro for the night?" she asked. Goemon turned back to her, "It's just… He doesn't know you very well, and he always wanted the chance to meet his older brother…."

"You told him I was dead," said Goemon.

"After leaving us like you did, you were dead to us for quite a while," she admitted.

Goemon paused, "Yes. Have him pack his things."

"All right," his mother stood, and walked into Toshiro's room. She exited a few moments later, looking very pale and shaken, "They're gone!" she yelled.

"Well, where are they?" Jigen asked.

"The window was open. This note was there on the wall," she said, passing Jigen a note. He looked downward, and read over it quickly.

"Lupin, you might want to see this," Jigen folded the note back up, and passed it to his friend. Lupin read it while Jigen remained silent, and Jigen was caught totally off guard when Lupin crumpled the note up and threw it at his head. Jigen turned, and picked it up, and unfolded it.

"What does it say?" Ming asked him.

"Remy wants a fight," Jigen answered, putting the paper in his jacket pocket, "With me. At 4:57 A.M.."

"Why such a specific time?" Goemon asked.

"Because the sun won't be up until 4:58," Jigen replied after a pause.

"Listen, I'll do it. I'll just put a mask on," Lupin suggested.

"No," Jigen shook his head, "I promised you, remember?"

"Promised? I didn't hear about this," said Fujiko.

"You're not going to," Lupin replied, "It's between Jigen and me."

"That man has my Toshiro," Goemon's mother wept frantically.

"He won't for long," Goemon said to her. He turned to Jigen, "Does it say where to go?"

"Yeah," Jigen nodded, "One bullet, one shot, one winner…"

"Oh God," Ming shook her head, and put one hand over her mouth.

Jigen walked over to her, and looked downward, "Hey, have a little more faith than that, all right? I'll be home in time for breakfast." He leaned inward and kissed her, and Ming choked out a laugh.

"You're buying," she said in a whisper.

"Okay," Jigen nodded, and then turned from her back to his friends, "Come on, guys. Let's get this over with. If Remy so much as looks at Yukiko wrong I'll put six bullets in him."

Lupin looked over at Jigen with a brief sense of confusion; he had rarely seen that side of Jigen, that side that showed how he still hung on to humanity..

The others followed Lupin and Jigen out, and Goemon's mother stopped him briefly, "Are you positive Toshiro will be all right?"

"I would trust Lupin and Jigen with my own life," Goemon responded.

"He's all I have right now," she said quietly.

"Don't worry. He will be returned to you," Goemon reassured her, and then left with the others.

"So, what the hell are we going to do?" Lupin asked once they were outside.

"I told you—I'm going to fight him," said Jigen as he unfolded his cane.

"But you won't be able to fight him! You won't be able to see!" snapped Lupin.

"I can hear him, though," Jigen answered calmly, "It's all a matter of waiting for him. I'm positive I can do it, just like I'm positive Yuki wouldn't let him do anything to her or Toshiro."

"What time is it now?" asked Goemon.

"One in the morning," Lupin answered as he looked downward at his watch, "Jigen, you don't have to do this for me. I can get Yukiko and Toshiro back, just give me an hour…"

"No," Jigen shook his head, "You're right, Lupin. As long as Remy's breathing, we'll be in danger."

"You two have talked about this before?" Goemon asked in disbelief.

"Lupin asked me to kill Remy for him a few days ago," Jigen replied.

"But you hate killing!" Goemon replied, turning to Lupin.

"I know," Lupin answered, avoiding eye-contact with his samurai friend, "But I'm desperate. If my dad can spring him out once, he can do it any time. And he can come back again and again to try to get even with us. He has nothing to lose. I can't think of anything else to do; I tried Mr. Nice Guy."

"Lupin, Jigen…" Goemon began, but trailed off from lack of words.

"Well, I've got a few hours," Jigen started, "Can anyone point me back to the car? I left some scotch in there."

"We'll go with you," Lupin said.

"But don't expect me to drink," Goemon replied, looking downward at his cast.

Later, about 4:40 A.M.:

The three men came to the spot where Remy had told Jigen to meet him. The sky was turning a reddish color, indicating storms, Goemon noted. There was a slight breeze, so wind resistance would be against the two gunmen.

Remy was on the other side of the field, his guy lying at his side. He smiled as he saw the three men, "Glad you gentlemen showed up. I think I have two little things your missing."

"Listen, you jerk, we're just here to get them. Let them go, and I won't shoot," Jigen warned.

"Yes you will. You want nothing more than to see me dead," Remy retorted quickly.

"True. But this is your last chance," Jigen warned.

"Just quit talking and take your place," Remy snapped.

Jigen growled, and gritted his teeth together. How the hell was he going to go this, he wondered as he followed the sound of Lupin's footsteps to the place Remy had marked for him. Lupin took Jigen's hand before he left his side, and spelt out, 80 N, 20E. A smirk slowly appeared on Jigen's face, and he nodded.

"You two fruitcups done holding hands?" Remy sighed, "I want to get this freakin' over with…"

"Yeah," Lupin nodded, and walked away from Jigen. The two gunmen stood one in front of the other, and Jigen jumped a little as a breeze passed. He prayed that it would soon die down; sound was essential to him, especially now. He quickly felt for his gun at his side, and, feeling it still there, he nodded in satisfaction.

The sky was beginning to slowly turn gray, giving Jigen a slight idea as to his surroundings. Remy looked behind him, then back at Jigen, and then at his watch, "One more minute. You got any last words before I shoot your ass dead?"

"Last words are for people who haven't said enough," Jigen snapped back.

"Karl Marx quote, right? Quaint," Remy smirked, and looked at his watch again, "About twenty seconds…."

"Come on, sun…" Jigen muttered to himself.

Ten… Nine…. Eight….

"Jesus, please, a little more light," Jigen continued, "This isn't frickin' fair…"

Seven…. Six… Five….

"Crap…. Come on…"

Four…. Three… . Two….

"Well, here goes everything," Jigen said to himself.

One….

Remy quickly jumped to the right, and two shots were fired. Goemon and Lupin both held their breaths and waited as the two men remained stationary. Remy hobbled back a few steps, and began to choke. Jigen sighed heavily in relief, and put his gun back in his holster. The sun was beginning to rise over the mountains, and this gave Jigen enough light to see how close Remy had really come. He removed his fedora and looked at the bullet hole right in the center of it.

"Holy crap…" Jigen muttered in disbelief. He looked back upward, "I freakin' did it, didn't I?"

"You sure as hell did," Goemon muttered as he bent down and felt for the now collapsed Remy's pulse, "Gone…. Nothing…" he wheeled back, and Lupin stood next to him. Goemon looked upward at Lupin with a look of confusion, "He tried to harm you and your family, yet you look as though you're going to cry how him…"

"He's still my brother…" Lupin replied quietly. He looked upward at Jigen, "I'm going to get him to a funeral home… Jigen, Goemon—Go get the kids…." He bent downward and lifted Remy up, and began to walk away from him, "I really hate to lie to you guys, but I can't have him hanging over our heads, but I couldn't exactly kill Remy, either!"

The bullet in Jigen's gun had been replaced while they had been busy arguing. Instead of a deadly metal one, Remy had been shot with a type of tranquilizer that briefly stopped his pulse, and gave all the signs of death, "So, Rem, just you and me…. This is the last time I save your ass…. God, I'm such a sentimental coward when it all comes down to it!" he walked to the cottage, and to the van. He placed Remy in the back seat, and began to drive off.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" Remy muttered as he came to, "Just get it over with?"

"Because I'm not death. I don't decide who goes and when. I'm Robin Hood, I decide what goes and when…." Lupin replied as they drove along the highway, "I'm giving you one one-way ticket to England. You better stay there if you expect to live any longer. I saved you once, Rem, but this is the only time I'm doing it. I won't be so kind next time."

"You're such a Goddamned idealist…" Remy muttered as he sat up in the seat, "What'd you tell the boys?"

"They both think you're dead," Lupin replied, "I'd like to start to get along with you Remy, I really would. You'd be a great addition to the team."

"I don't know about the getting along, but I sure as hell know I don't want to be part of your team," Remy replied bluntly. "England, uh? Could you possibly find a more boring place?"

"You ever heard of Gibsonton, Florida?" Lupin inquired.

"No."

"Neither have most folks," Lupin answered, "Just stay out of trouble. The airport's up here. I slipped some bills in your pocket, just to help you get on your feet."

Remy paused, and shook his head as he wearily exited the car. He bent downward, "Hey, Arsene. About the getting along thing—Who knows, maybe someday…. But… Thanks for not killing my ass, I guess."

"Don't mention it," Lupin replied as he rolled up his window, "For God's sakes, please don't mention it, ever again…." He looked back in his review at Remy as he drove back towards the Shinto temple, and he sighed, "I really should consider growing a spine sometime…." He said to himself.

Lupin arrived back at the Shinto Temple when the sun had come up completely over the entire property. Jigen emerged from the woods, both Toshiro and Yukiko in hand.

"Hi, Lupin!" Yukiko waved.

"Hi, Yuki," Lupin nodded and walked over to the two children, "Remy didn't hurt you guys, did he?"

"No. He just came in and knocked us both out cold. He took my gun and his sword, but Dad found them for us again," Yukiko answered nonchalantly.

"We had already escaped the place of our captivity. We were on our way home when Mr. Jigen found us," Toshiro replied. He turned to Jigen, "Thank you again, Mr. Jigen, and Mr. Lupin."

"Hey, where's your brother?" Lupin asked suddenly, looking around the fields for any sign of Goemon.

"Getting ready for the wedding, I think," Toshiro responded after a pause. He sighed, "Well, better go tell my mother I'm all right…."

"That'd be a good idea," Jigen said.

"Yeah, you know your mom can be a bitch, but she still loves and worries about you," Lupin interjected.

"I suppose," Toshiro answered as he began to walk up the stairway to the cottage. His mother stuck her head out of the window and screamed his name out of joy. Toshiro sighed, shook his head, and continued up the stairway.

"Some family he's got," Lupin muttered, "Can't wait to meet Heiji and his grandfather…"

"Funny, I can," Jigen answered. He looked downward at his daughter, "C'mon Yuki. I'll carry you up if you want."

"Well... Okay… But I'm getting a little big to do this now…" Yukiko replied.

"You tell me that when you turn nine," Jigen retorted as he placed Yukiko on his shoulders and began to walk with her.

"Dad, why the hell is there a bullet hole in your hat?" asked Yukiko as they began to walk away.

Lupin chuckled happily to himself and put his hands in his pockets, and then began to walk upward with them. They were greeted by the group, which now included Uncle Heiji as well as Goemon the Eleventh. Heiji's stern expression frightened Lupin, and Grandfather's 'where the hell am I?' expression disturbed him even more. Lupin sat down on a mat in one of the few chairs and turned to Grandfather.

"Goemon—What in God's name did you do with your hair?" asked Grandfather, "You look like Lupin the Third…."

Lupin and he stared silently, "Fujiko!!" Lupin yelled, rose, and ran to find his wife.

"You're even starting to sound like him!" Grandfather snapped in addition.

Lupin searched through the home, and stopped at one room, on the second story. He pressed his ear against the door, and listened intently.

On the other side of the door:

"Are you positive you want to do this?" Goemon's mother sighed heavily as she watched her son from his place at the dresser.

"Yes, Mother," Goemon answered as he scanned over the dresser drawer. He watched in the mirror as his mother opened the closet door and pulled out a plastic bag that hung from a wire hanger. She unzipped it, and laid the gi out on the bed.

"This was your father's," she said solemnly as she looked down at the gi.

Goemon walked over to her and stood next to his mother, "You want me to—"

"If, if you have one already, that's okay. I, I mean…" she stuttered, and began to pack the outfit away.

Goemon stopped her, "It's all right. I will wear it," said Goemon. His mother smiled widely, and he took the gi and walked behind a screen. He emerged moments later dressed in the blue and black outfit.

"You look a lot like him," she said with a smile. She turned him around and took a small box from the dresser.

"What are you doing?" Goemon asked.

"Getting that hair out of your face," she replied, "We want your friends to know you're the groom, and with hair like that, you look somewhat like the bride." Goemon glared, but remained silent as his mother tied his hair back. He looked in the mirror, and turned his head from side to side, "Good," she patted his shoulder, and began to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Goemon.

"To see Amaya. That girl her father brought with him probably has no idea about Shinto marriages," she replied, and exited.

"God love her…." Goemon trailed off, and looked in the mirror again, "I need to remind myself to never let her fix my hair again…"

"What the hell is up with you?" he heard. He swerved around, and saw Lupin standing in the doorway, "I met your grandfather—He's a little, well, you know—"

"He's a loon," Goemon sighed.

"Uh, yeah," Lupin nodded, "He thought I was you, and… Just make sure I don't sit next him during the whole thing… It's only a few hours away now, you know. Then it's sorry, ladies—They're taken."

"I don't mind. You don't meet many good women, and I just happened to have met one…. And go figure, it's a Zenigata," Goemon shook his head.

Lupin laughed, "Hey, good luck, Buddy."

"Thanks…" Goemon sighed, "I think I'll need it…"

"Goemon, your mother is insane!" Amaya screamed from down the hall, "Ow, you're tugging on my hair!"

"Well it wouldn't if you brushed it better!" Goemon's mother snapped in response.

"Ancestors, please watch over me…." Goemon muttered, holding his hand to his head and shaking it.