DISCLAIMER: I don't own the copyrighted characters in this fanfiction. If I did, I would be typing this on a better computer.

Aloha!

Got bored, so I thought of a 'dream cast' for Lupin. It would've been so great if they had made this in the 60's, when all of these actors were around! It would have been so cool! Well, here're my ideas for the movie, if they had made it in the 60's. A little 'what could have been'. And, I know a lot of the actors are white, but how many famous American Japanese actors immediately come to mind? Yeah….

Lupin—JERRY LEWIS—This guy had all of the perfect elements for Lupin. He could be sincere, and silly as well. Plus he's a master at slapstick! And the voice—I think you'd agree it's kind of reminiscent of Lupin.

Fujiko—JANE FONDA—The moment I saw Barbarella, I couldn't help but think how great Fonda would've been for the part. She had the 60's femme fatale part going for her, the innocent eyes, as well as Fujiko's, ahem, physical features…

Jigen—DEAN MARTIN—Okay, bear with me on this one. Dean's Rat-Pack personality would fit Jigen's perfectly. And the chemistry he and Jerry shared before their breakup is just wonderful. The reserved and smarmy straight-man Dean would've been a perfect Jigen.

Goemon—TOSHIRO MIFUNE—Of Seven Samurai fame. Mifune could've brought out the serious action side of the film, and Mifune was one of the great action stars of his time. He would've been perfect for the role.

Zenigata—PETER SELLERS—I think anyone who's ever seen The Pink Panther would agree with me on this one. Sellers is just as great at slapstick as Lewis, and we all know he could've pulled off the trench coat/hat ensemble. Plus, who wouldn't have loved a Sellers—Lewis flick!?

'All through the day,

I me mine, I me mine, I me mine,

All through the night,

I me mine, I me mine, I me mine,

Now the frightened are leaving it,

Everyone's weaving it,

Flowing on strong all through the time

All through the day,

I me mine'

--The Beatles, 'I Me Mine'

Chapter Twenty

A few Days Later: Mama Mia

"You said good-bye to your mother?" Amaya asked Goemon as the group walked (or wheeled, in Goemon's case) down to their van.

"Yes," Goemon nodded.

"How did that go?" she asked.

"She cried, told me not to wait another ten years before I visit her again," Goemon answered nonchalantly.

"Hey! Wait for me!" they heard. Goemon looked back and watched Toshiro run down after them. He carried all of his worldly possessions in two bags and a birdcage. Toshiro stopped in front of him, and smiled widely, "Mom said to go with you. She said you can teach me about being a samurai!"

"I…" Goemon trailed off, somewhat speechless.

"Come on, kid. I'll help you with the birds," Lupin said, taking the birdcage from Toshiro and handing it off to Amaya. Amaya glowered and cautiously seated herself in the van, being sure not to bust the bamboo birdcage as she did so.

"You're coming?" Yukiko asked him flatly.

"Yeah, I guess," Toshiro replied.

"Yes! Someone my age!" Yukiko yelled happily, putting her arms around Toshiro's neck and then lifting him up and swinging him around once. Toshiro was taken by surprise by this, and nearly fell to the ground.

"Well, come on, guys," Lupin said, climbing into the drivers seat. Jigen helped Goemon in and put the wheelchair away, and the group was off and running again.

A Paris Apartment:

"I know he's up to something…. I can just feel it…" Zenigata muttered as he sat at his dining room among a pile of long-abandoned paperwork.

"There's nothing," Natasha answered as she sipped her tea again, "Now why don't we go through this stuff? We're almost done cleaning the place up…"

"He's probably stealing something as we speak…." Zenigata muttered, "Should've never left Japan…"

Natasha slammed her teacup down, and snapped at Zenigata, "Damn it, Koichi! You're retired! Enjoy it! For G-d's sake, enjoy it! If Lupin's stealing something, they'll try to catch him in the act, and he'll get away. It's always been like that, and it always will be. Just accept it already, please! It's not good for either of our health to go running around chasing him anymore! You can't take that much stress, and I can't stay here worrying about you!"

"You're right…." Zenigata sighed, "I'm sorry…. Why don't we go on a trip, just around France? There's a lot of this place you haven't seen yet, and I've been putting off showing it to you."

"Well, there's an art exhibit I'd like to go to," Natasha replied.

"Really? Who?" Zenigata inquired.

"Toulouse Latrec," Natasha answered with a hopeful smile.

"Okay… I'll go get tickets…" Zenigata nodded, and walked over towards the telephone, leaving Natasha to continue managing through the paperwork.

An Airplane over Hong Kong skies:

"Jigen…. Will you do me the favor of shooting me and putting me out of my misery?" Lupin asked, looking back at his friend and then back at the movie screen.

"If I have to sit through, Lupin Gigli, you do, too," Goemon said bitterly.

"It makes me ashamed to have even been in a mob," Jigen answered with a shake of his head.

"This bites…" Lupin muttered, moving around in his seat a little for comfort.

Jigen turned to Ming, who was looking out at the Hong Kong bay, "You okay?" he inquired.

"Huh? Yeah…" Ming replied absently, "It's just… I've thought…. Maybe I should try to patch things up with my family, you know? After everything dies down and they don't want me dead anymore, that is…."

"Forget them for now. You've got your own family to worry about," Jigen said in his usual sternness.

"If only my brothers knew that they were going to be uncles!" Ming muttered, shaking her head, "I would've been the last person they would've thought would have kids, or marry a Capitalist Devil."

"A what?" Jigen inquired.

"Capitalist Devil. It's what they call all Americans," Ming replied.

"How many brothers do you have?"

"Eight," Ming answered.

"Jesus!" Jigen gaped in response, "Any sisters?"

"No, just me," Ming said with a smile, "I was the princess."

"I think that you still think you're royalty sometimes," Jigen muttered, resting his hat over his eyes and leaning back in his chair.

Later that Night, Back at the Mansion:

"This is where you actually live?" Toshiro gaped in awe as he looked upward at the ceiling of the house.

"This is one of the places," Yukiko answered nonchalantly, "There are other houses, too--All around the world. Want me to show you your room?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Toshiro nodded. Yukiko took his birdcage from him and walked with him upstairs to his bedroom, "Is this really my room?" he asked in equal disbelief.

"Yep," Yukiko nodded, setting his birdcage down on his dresser and turning back to him, "We can get you a mat instead of a bed, if you want. I know Goemon and Amaya don't like them very much, although Amaya can sleep almost anywhere. I came out one morning and she was curled up in front of the computer desk, sound asleep!"

"Fascinating," Toshiro murmured absently as he looked out his window. He turned back to Yukiko, "I'm okay with a bed. I don't really care, as long as it's somewhere to sleep."

"Okay, well I'll let you do your thing, and I'll be in my room down the hall," Yukiko smirked briefly, and walked out of the bedroom, leaving Toshiro to his own devices.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the adults of the group were in the midst of taking their luggage up a when the telephone suddenly rang. Jigen sighed in defeat and went to the phone as he saw no one go to answer it.

"Hello?" a smile suddenly appeared on Jigen's face, "Oh, yeah! Uh huh…. Seven? Great. Okay, I'll let him know. Yeah? Oh, thanks. Uh huh… Thanks again. Bye." He hung up the phone and went back to carrying the luggage upstairs.

"Who was that?" Lupin inquired.

"Our leak," Jigen responded, "We're looking at seven guards."

"Seven guards for what?" Goemon inquired.

"Wow? Only seven? I would've figured at least twelve!" Lupin admitted.

"Well, maybe Toulouse doesn't have as many fans as you thought," said Jigen and he and Lupin continued with the luggage.

"Toulouse? Toulouse who?" Goemon asked.

"No… There's probably a catch," Lupin shook his head, "It's just too good to be true, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I do," Jigen admitted, "Well, that's all of the luggage."

"Are you two going on a job without me?" Goemon asked.

"Maybe," Lupin shrugged.

"Jigen?" Goemon turned to him.

"I ain't sayin' nothing," Jigen replied as he began to walk towards his door.

"You two aren't leaving me here!" Goemon yelled to the two wrathfully.

"Listen, I know you're using a crutch now to get around, but you still have to get your rest," Lupin said to Goemon sternly.

"At least let me keep watch. But don't leave me with women and children!" Goemon answered.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Ming asked, sticking her head out of her room briefly.

Goemon ignored her completely, and continued on his speech, "Samurai weren't trained to stand on the sidelines! We fight, regardless! I'm not going to stay in a safe house like a weak little bitch!"

"Goemon, you reallllyyy aren't making friends with the women or the children," Lupin muttered.

"I'm so sorry I can't hold up to your standards, Goemon, but there's the small matter of me being PREGNANT!" Fujiko snapped, "Believe me, if my ankles weren't absolutely killing me right now, I'd find some way to screw you guys out of this."

"You should be one to talk about being a little bitch… Had that fairy following you around…." Jigen muttered.

"At least I take charge in my relationship, and don't let my wife fight my battles for me!" Goemon snapped in response. Jigen grumbled, and tilted his hat downward.

"If you weren't on a crutch, I'd deck you, you hypocritical bigot," Jigen snarled.

"Bigot!?" Goemon drew his head back a little in surprise.

"As soon as you found out my sister was white you started acting screwy around me! I've seen little signs. You've been a little too nice to me—Maybe trying to make sure you don't slip and call me a mutt or some other kind of slur!" Jigen yelled, "You never even liked the fact I was American in the first place; admit it! You grew up in your own little world, and it's all you frickin' know!"

"I'm not some sort of sheltered hick!" Goemon yelled, "And you have no right calling me a bigot! I just don't like you at times because you tend to shoot off your mouth and make yourself sound like a jackass!"

"Guys, guys!" Lupin stood in between the two, "Can we settle this later? Please. I promise you guys can call each other whatever the hell you want after we get this! Goemon, you and Yukiko are going to be lookouts. Jigen and I are going in and getting the painting."

"Sounds like a plan," Goemon replied after a pause.

"Great. I'm going down to the car," Jigen muttered, and began to walk down the stairs of the hallway, grumbling to himself as he went along.

Later that day, in the Evening:

"How's it looking?" Jigen asked as he sat down on the floor of the car, polishing his gun. Lupin sat in the back seat, scoping the museum out with a pair of high-powered binoculars.

"The alarm's based on sound, so we'll have to be extremely quiet. Anything over a certain number of decibels and we're all screwed," Lupin replied quietly. He watched quietly as Yukiko and Goemon returned from the museum, and listened for their report as they entered the car.

"Five-hundred and fifty-one steps to the museum from here, two-hundred and thirty-one steps from the front door to the painting. You take twenty-five steps down the main hall and then turn right. There'll be a hallway, which is fifty feet long. There's a main showroom, and you take another seventy-six steps through it, and go down another hall, which is about eighty steps. Make another right about ten steps, and the painting's there."

"Got that, Jigen?" Lupin inquired.

"Yeah. Wrote it down," Jigen replied, showing a list of the steps, which he had written on a napkin, "You want to check it out before they close the place, Lupin?" Jigen asked.

"Sure," Lupin shrugged, and both exited the car and walked towards the museum gates. After paying a small fare, the duo walked in, and began to search around the museum, "Almost makes you want to take the entire thing…" Lupin admitted in a mutter as he looked around the museum, "What do you think, Jigen?"

"I think I need to find a snack bar. I'm thirsty," Jigen replied in a mutter as the two walked down the hall.

"Plebian," Lupin chuckled as they came to the main hall of the exhibit, "Wow, this is really nice…."

"You won't believe me, but I think that's Zenigata over there," said Jigen calmly.

"You're right, I don't believe you," Lupin responded, turning to Jigen, "I'm really supposed to trust a guy who wears reading glasses?"

"I'm not joking," Jigen replied, "Natasha's with him. He looks bored as hell." He added in a chuckle.

"Well, I'll be damned," Lupin muttered as he looked over and saw Zenigata looking tiredly at a painting, with Natasha at his side.

"You got that right," Jigen added.

"Shut up. Let's get going," Lupin grumbled, exiting the museum with Jigen.

At that moment, Zenigata could swear he heard a familiar voices—One higher and weasily—like a conman's, the other deeper and gravelly—Like a smoker's. He turned, but saw no one.

"Probably my imagination," he muttered reluctantly, turning back to the painting.

Later that Night, back at the museum:

"That was fun, huh?" Natasha said happily as she and Zenigata exited.

"Uh-huh," Zenigata nodded. In truth, he had been bored out of his mind, "Hey, do you think Lupin would show up and—"

"Koichi! It's all done with. Lupin's busy with other things, and you're retired!" Natasha snapped, "Come on. We'll go home, and I'll cook hamburgers or something."

"Yeah…. I can't help but feeling, though…" he muttered as the two continued to walk down the steps and towards their car.

"Gone! Finally!" Lupin muttered as he tossed his binoculars aside, "Jigen, you ready?"

"Yep," Jigen nodded as he finished loading his gun and putting it in his holster.

"Good luck, Daddy!" Yukiko said as she embraced her father.

"Thanks, Yuki. Take good care of Goemon," Jigen answered. Yukiko nodded, and looked back at the austere Goemon.

"See you guys in a little while," Lupin smirked as he and Jigen exited. He put a hand on Jigen's shoulder, and led him towards the museum. Using his cane in such an incident like this could prove deadly for both.

Back at the House:

"So… Toshiro… Would you like to watch a movie? I have Bambi and Lilo and Stitch," said Amaya hopefully.

"Cartoons are for kids," Toshiro responded sternly.

"Hey, I watch cartoons!" Ming snapped from her spot on the living room couch.

"My point exactly," Toshiro muttered. Amaya smiled widely while trying to retain her sense of composure. But the proud Toshiro proved to be quite the handful. Much like Goemon, he did not appreciate being left behind, even though he barely knew anything about stealing.

"Well, is there anything you would like to do?" Amaya inquired.

"Can you sword fight?" Toshiro asked.

"Not like this. It would be bad for the baby," Amaya answered.

"Baby?" Ming shot her head up again, "How the hell do you know you're pregnant that early—Unless… Oh my God!" she laughed and fell back onto the couch.

"It's not funny!" Amaya snapped, rising and walking over to Ming, "I can just tell!"

"Sure," Ming chuckled as she shook her head in disbelief, "Wow…"

Fujiko exited from her bedroom, looking ill. Amaya and Ming immediately noticed the change in the brunette's demeanor, and both looked at one another silently, and then at Fujiko.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ming asked.

"I think…" Fujiko cringed a little, and exhaled sharply. She looked upward at both women, "My water just broke."

"Crap," Amaya muttered after a long pause.

Ming jumped from the chair, and began to run to the door, "I'll get the car and bring it around front! Amaya, you start packing her things! Have Toshiro watch over her!"

"What's going on? Is someone hurt?" Toshiro asked as she watched Ming and Amaya run around the house.

"Toshiro, look after Fujiko! Yell if anything happens!" Amaya said quickly, tossing the young boy onto the couch next to Fujiko and then running up the stairs. Fujiko let out a yell, and Toshiro looked over at her in great surprise.

Ming brought the car out front just as Amaya had finished packing. She threw the suitcase at Toshiro as she went by, winging the young boy in the head. She helped Fujiko stand, and the two walked out to the vehicle.

"I knew you would pick the Viper," Amaya muttered to Ming as she helped Fujiko in. Toshiro came running out soon after, and jumped into the car with the suitcase. Ming took out her cell phone and passed it over to Amaya.

"Call Lupin!" Ming ordered as she turned the key in the ignition and sped away from the house.

Back at the Museum:

Jigen looked downward tensely as he craned Lupin downward towards the painting. All was going to plan, and Lupin was nearly there. Suddenly, Lupin stopped, and reached into his pocket. Jigen rolled his eyes and shook his head as Lupin went to answer. This always happened at the worst possible times.

Lupin turned the phone on, and what followed was a loud scream of pain from Fujiko. The buzzing of alarms soon followed, and Jigen accidentally let go of the rope in surprise.

"What!? Now!? Okay, I'll be right there!" Lupin screamed over the blaring alarms as he put his cell phone away. He looked upward at Jigen, "I'm going to be a father! The baby's coming!"

"That's nice, but we need to get going!" Jigen yelled in response as he heard some guards running towards them. Lupin jumped up onto the rope, and swung over to Jigen. The two climbed out of the glass skylights just as the security officers arrived, and then both slid down the steep side of the building. Lupin took Jigen by the shoulder as he had done before, and both continued to run back to the car.

"What the hell is going on!?" Goemon demanded angrily as the two ran towards him and jumped into the car. A few of the guards ran up to them, but their guns proved useless against Goemon's sword, which quickly flashed. He smiled contently as the guns split in half, and sat back down as the car began to speed away from the museum. His eyes widened in horror, however, when he spied a black ponytail down on the floor. His eyes traveled upward, and he now saw Yukiko with hair that was shorter than Ming's.

She glared upward at him, and Goemon looked back over at Jigen, "Um… Jigen… I…"

"What?" Jigen asked, "Oh, I gotcha. Hey, Goemon, I know. I'm sorry, too, for what it's worth. You're not that big of a hick. Still friends?"

"Ur… For the time being," Goemon replied as he looked downward at Yukiko. Lupin at this time looked in his rearview, and gasped in horror as he laid eyes on Yukiko.

"What? What's wrong?" Jigen asked.

"Nothing!" Lupin and Goemon answered. Both nervous men looked back at one another as Yukiko began to cry.

"What the hell's going on!?" Jigen snapped. At this point, they passed a very well-lit street, and Jigen turned pale with surprise as he saw Yukiko, "Goemon, did you freakin' do that!? You Goddamned bastard—After all of the nice things you let me say about you!?"

"She—She must've had her head turned away from the guards while I fought them, so when I put my sword away, I…" Goemon looked at Yukiko, pained, "I'm very sorry, it was an accident!"

"I'm going to strangle you when we get in a well-lit area…" Jigen muttered.

Back on the Road:

"Don't worry, Fujiko! I called everyone, and they're all on their way here, now!" Amaya said cheerily to the shrieking Fujiko. They went over another speed bump, all of them jumping up out of their seats briefly.

"Can you go over those things any FASTER!?" Fujiko demanded.

"Uh… Sorry…" Ming muttered.

"Go FASTER!" Fujiko demanded, kicking Ming's seat. Ming jerked forward, and gripped onto the steering wheel.

"Gladly," Ming muttered, flooring the gas pedal of the car and making a sharp right to the hospital. They pulled into the emergency room parking lot, and Amaya exited. She screamed briefly as another car flew past her, and she rose from the concrete as Lupin, Jigen, Yukiko, and Toshiro exited.

"Crap! Were you trying to kill me!?" Amaya snapped.

"No time!" Lupin answered hurriedly as he and Jigen helped Fujiko out of the car. Fujiko felt another wave of pain come upon her, and kicked Jigen with one of her heels. Jigen fell back a little, and growled quietly as he and Lupin led Fujiko into the hospital.

"Yukiko! What did you do to your hair!?" Ming gasped as she looked downward at the young girl.

"All in name of battle," Yukiko answered, wiping her eyes. Goemon looked downward at her, and breathed a sigh of relief. He still did feel very badly about what he had done, however.

The others walked into the hospital, where they met Jigen in the hospital waiting room.

"Your hair's all crooked," Toshiro said to Yukiko.

"Well, it's not like you're in style, either!" Yukiko snapped back in defense.

"Here," Toshiro retrieved a small dagger from his gi, and drew the blade, "Turn around. I'll fix it for you."

"I…. Well, I guess it can't get much worse," Yukiko replied, and turned her back to Toshiro.

Meanwhile, two more figures suddenly burst into the private waiting room. All shot their heads upward as they watch Zenigata and Natasha enter.

"Where's Lupin!?" Zenigata demanded.

"In the delivery room," Jigen answered, rubbing his forehead, where Fujiko had kicked him.

"There was an attempted burglary at the local museum. You know anything about it, Jigen? You see anything out of the ordinary?" Zenigata inquired suspiciously.

"Seeing anything at night would be out of the ordinary for me," Jigen retorted.

"Right…" Zenigata muttered uncomfortably.

"How's your head?" Ming asked Jigen.

"Hurts," Jigen admitted.

"Poor guy," Ming said, and kissed him. Zenigata shuddered in disgust and chose to sit down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs.

"What!?" Jigen demanded.

"Nothing… Just don't do that again," Zenigata muttered.

"There, all done," Toshiro sat back, and sheathed his dagger, "What do you think?"

Yukiko looked in a mirror across the room, and tilted her head from one side to another, "Not bad…." She looked back at Ming, "Do you think I could get it dyed like yours?" she asked.

"No," Jigen replied before Ming could even begin to breath an answer.

There was a loud scream, and all turned back towards the delivery room doors.

"Was that Fujiko?" Amaya asked.

"No—That was too high. That was Lupin," Jigen answered.

"Lupin!" Zenigata jumped out of his chair in anger.

"Koichi!" Natasha hissed, grabbing onto Zenigata's arm.

"Dad, let it go!" Amaya added. All heard crying moments later, and everyone fell silent.

He ran towards the thief, handcuffs drawn, as Lupin exited the delivery room, "Lupin, you're—" he stopped in mid-sentence, and looked downward at the small blue bundle Lupin held, "What's—"

"Your grandson—Lupin the Fourth," Lupin answered, moving a blanket away from the baby's head. He had brown hair, like his mother, "I've got to get going. Still got another one." He smiled widely, and exited back into the delivery room. There was a loud scream, this time from Fujiko, and there was more crying moments later. Lupin exited about fifteen minutes later, this time with both children. In his left arm was a pink bundle, and in the bundle was a baby girl, with dark black hair.

All crowded around the happy father, and looked downward at the oblivious and confused babies, "Better get going," said Lupin, "Fujiko probably wants to see them again. Come on, guys—Let's go see Mommy." Lupin added quietly as he turned away from the group and back into the delivery room.

"That was a glorious event, right, Amaya?" Goemon said with a smile. He looked over at Amaya, and his smile fell as he saw how pale she was, "Amaya, are you all right?"

"Oh my God…" was the last thing Amaya muttered before her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted from shock.