Angel leaned back against the headboard and paused before starting. "Did you ever hear the story about the visions? Well Cordelia wasn't the first one to have them. In fact it would be four years ago today she got them. She got them when the last carrier died. You met Doyle once when you came after that ring. "

"Hold your ponies back peaches. You hung with that weird tattoo guy who went through that portal?"

"No this was the real Doyle. This Doyle was the first person I met when I came back here. He was the one person that kept me from going right back to being a non-person and eating rats out of dumpsters. He was rash and motor mouth and a really bad dresser. He was also extremely loyal and committed and the best friend outside of Buffy I'd had since I got my soul. He was also part demon. He looked human and lived as human and was for most of his life ashamed and secretive about his demon side. He died saving a group of half demons from being massacred in one giant holocaust by a purebred extremist group. Four years ago today." Angel paused for a minute to collect himself. "It wasn't so bad before with Cordelia. We didn't discuss it much. We met up with Wesley soon after that but it was having Cordy there that pulled me together. It wasn't that I wasn't in pain but for that one little thing we had the exact same pain and at least we knew that if bore it together it would be okay. That was something no one else had, not even Buffy. Four years later that was it." Angel stopped and rubbed the backs of his hand against his eyes in a futile attempt to stop the tears. Spike climbed up the bed and engulfed Angel in a hug. He held the older vampire for a few moments then ran his hand over Angel's arms before pulling away. Suddenly Spike crouched down and looked at Angel strait in the eye.

"Peaches don't you fret not alone in this. Who else in the world has nearly cause utter chaos and destruction then been on the team to stop it? And how many vamps can say they've slept with a slayer. You and me. Sure I hate you, you hate me, and we're a happy vampiric family but that's all we've got. Doyle, Cordelia, Buffy, Fred, Anya, all of them, they have a luxury we don't get. You and I are going to live without them and probably a lot of others. We've got to stick together on this one. Besides I've got a sob story to top yours"

Angel's normally sullen mood switched to that of newfound interest. " Do tell."