Therapy

Chapter Three: Searching For Answers

Disclaimer: I don't own Moulin Rouge.

Christian finished cooking breakfast and brought two plates into the dining room. Satine ate very slowly, and it was obvious by the look on her face that she wasn't completely over her nightmare. "Are you ok?" Christian asked. Satine looked at him. She wasn't ok. She hadn't been ok in thirteen years. Since it had happened, she hadn't had a full night's sleep. Being with Christian was the closest she came to being ok. No one had ever made her feel so safe, or so normal. She didn't want to worry him. "Yes, I'm fine" she said softly.

Christian could tell that Satine wasn't fine. "Are you sure? It's ok if you're notÉ" he continued. He hoped that Satine would tell him what was wrong. He hated seeing her upset or scared, and he wanted to help her. But Satine maintained her act. "I'm fine, Christian. I'm just a little shook up from last night. I'll be ok.", she said as she continued to eat.

Christian knew that this wasn't true. "Satine, you know that having nightmares like that isn't normal, right?" he asked. Satine stopped eating. She could see where this was headed. She nodded, allowing Christian to continue. "Maybe we should get you some help, get you some therapy or something". Christian hoped that Satine would accept the idea.

Instead she stood up and ran from the room, shouting "No! Not again! I won't!". She ran up the stairs and into the bedroom. Christian followed her. He slowly opened the door to find her curled up on the bed, crying. Slowly, he walked over to the bed and sat down beside her. He gently rubbed her back. Satine looked at him. "I won't do it, Christian! Not again!" she sobbed.

Christian continued to rub her back. "It's ok, no one's forcing you to do anything." He reassured her as she turned to face him. "But if you won't talk to a doctor, can you at least tell me what's wrong? You know I won't hurt you." Satine looked at him. She really wanted to tell him, but was unsure of where to start. "It's a long story, Christian. I wouldn't know where to beginÉ" she said. However, Christian's interest was unwavering. "Why don't you just tell me about the dream? Why were you so scared when you woke up?"

Satine took a deep breath. "Ok. I saw myself at ten. I was playing in the woods with a friend, when someone grabbed me. Then I wasn't watching the dream anymore, I was living it. He dragged me deep into the woodsÉHe hurt me so bad. I screamed for him to stop but heÉhe just keptÉand then he just left me alone. When I woke upÉI knew where I was but it was like I was still in the dream. I still saw him. I had to get awayÉI just had toÉand then I saw you and everything was ok again.

Christian couldn't believe what Satine had told him. No wonder she was so scared. She was crying again, and he pulled her into a hug. "Shhh. Baby, it was only a dream.", he said softly. Suddenly, Satine pulled away. "No. No, it wasn't just a dream. Christian." Her voice was shaky. Christian embraced her again. "Of course it was. " he said. Satine shook her head. "No, Christian. It was real. It really happened to me. " she said. Christian held her tightly and rocked her from side to side. He was still in shock. How could anyone hurt his diamond? Satine continued her story. Talking to Christian really did make her feel better. "After it happened, my father put me in this house for rape victims. It was supposed to be like therapy, butÉit was so awful! The treated us like we were the criminals, like it was our fault. That place basically was a holding room for the Moulin. Every so often, Harold would come and select a few new girls to be diamond dogs. Eventually, I got selected. Christian, I can't go to therapy again! I just can't! It was too awful!

Christian suddenly understood why Satine was so reluctant to seek help, why she had chosen to live with the fear instead of getting rid of it. He continued to rock her as he said "Satine, I promise that this time it will be different. We'll find you a nice doctor, and it will be just the two of you. No one else." Satine turned her head and looked at him. "You'll be there too, right?" she asked. Christian wasn't sure if a doctor would allow him to stay, but he said yes. All he wanted was for her to get help.

Satine laid her head against Christian's chest. "I don't want to be afraid anymore, Christian." She said.

"It's ok. You have nothing to be afraid of." Christian whispered.