Well here it is. My first endeavor into the seedy world of Newsies fanfiction. Not only are the Newsies involved, but soon we'll be meeting up with the entire crew of the Black Pearl! This could get interesting... so hold on to your hats, and thanks for reading.

* * *

"Jacky boy, don't get me wrong, I love fine women and liquor, but make a note 'dere of the 'da woid 'fine'," Racetrack seemed less than pleased as he looked around at the rampant chaos and sin that was Tortuga.

"This is horrible! This place is probably festering with disease!" Dave seemed to agree with Racetrack, as well as the rest of the boys. Jack, however, carried on.

"Alright guys, I admit, it's not the paradise I promised, but this here city is the biggest temporary home for pirates this side of the Atlantic. C'mon guys, pirates!" Jack turned to face the rest of the boys, snatched a beat-up hat that was lying in the dirt, and made a few swishing gestures with his right hand, smiling wildly.

"Great," Dave said, "pirates. So much for disease, we're gonna be lucky to get out of here without getting our throats slit." Dave didn't notice Itey sneaking up behind him in full stealth mode. At the most opportune moment, Itey grabbed Dave around the neck, causing Dave to shriek like a girl.

"Ya best be wary, matey, 'dese here parts 'dere ain't no law, ya savvy?" Itey said in his best pirate accent. The rest of the group laughed, but Dave looked less than pleased.

"Not funny," he said, still rubbing his neck.

"Ah, lighten up Davey," Itey joked, giving Dave a friendly punch in the shoulder and then walking up to the head of the group. He stepped into place alongside Skittery and Dutchy, who were both observing their surroundings with mounting concern.

"Where exactly are we staying?" Dutchy ventured.

"The Drunken Pig: Tavern and Inn," Jack said, reading from a yellowing piece of parchment he had folded up in his pocket.

"Sounds like a fine establishment, if I do say so myself," Racetrack, who had now advanced several paces beyond the rest of the group, said with only a hint of sarcasm.

"Is this it here?" Skittery said, stopping and gazing up at a decrepit sign with a pig with a dazed look in its eyes painted on.

"That's where we're staying!" Dave exclaimed.

"That's where we're staying," Jack proclaimed happily. Racetrack stopped several feet up the muddy street, looked at the group, then looked up at the sign, then back at the group, then to the sign again.

"And a fine establishment it is!" He announced, rejoining the others.

"A thought you were less than excited about this whole 'vacation'," Skittery said, making air-quotes on the last word.

"Well, I'm tinkin' 'dat I might as well make 'da most out of it, ya know?" Racetrack responded. He went to step forward when suddenly he found himself hurtling toward the ground at an ever-increasing speed. Itey nonchalantly slid his foot out from under Racetrack as the latter pulled himself up, his entire front now covered in mud.

"Ar! Now yer set to be a pirate!" Itey said.

"Why ya dirty rotten scabba', I oughta soak ya tree ways from Sunday," Racetrack started towards Itey, who stepped back nimbly. Luckily, Jack squeezed between them.

"Hey, hey, is this any way to start our vacation?" He asked, alternating his gaze from Itey to Racetrack. "Racetrack, I'm sure the proprietors of 'dis place can front ya a bucket of water to clean up with. Itey, what the hell?" Itey just grinned.

"Shall we then?" Dutchy had been holding the door open for a while now and was growing rather impatient.

"I think we shall." Itey skipped past Dutchy and into the dark tavern of the Drunken Pig, the rest followed.

As Dave passed Dutchy he muttered what he thought was under his breath, "Crazy bastard."

"Not as crazy as your mom!" was Itey's retort from somewhere further within the building. Dave looked flushed and hurried onward. Dutchy just smiled as he shut the door.

* * *