DISCLAIMER: I do not own Lupin III, or Arsene Lupin the original, by Maurice LeBlanc… Although, it is in free domain right now so, hm…. The wheels are turning….

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Thank you all again for the positive reviews! It's reviews like those that have made this 20-chapter story run near fifty! (20… the number of chapters I actually planned…. Oh, if the naïve little me of seven months ago had only had the slightest clue) Yeah, I know sometimes you don't hear from me in the while, and I thank you for your concern as to my whereabouts. I cannot wait for summer, personally, when I can write more often! Who needs sunlight, honestly? Just kidding : ) But anyway, thanks, Ultra Sonic, for the good idea. Oh, by the way, to whoever is interested-- Just recently found out they made an Arsene Lupin movie in 1932, starring Lionel and John Barrymore. Yes, they are related to Drew. The small part of the film I saw is pretty good, but keep in mind it's an old film, so there aren't any terribly exciting special effects or anything….

Oh, by the way, this is coming late because I was out of town over the weekend. Sorry!

Chapter Forty four

The following day: Hit me with Your Best Shot

'Little child,

Little child,

Little child, won't you dance with me?

I'm so sad and lonely,

Baby take a chance with me,'

--The Beatles 'Little Child'

"Below!?" was all Jigen could think to choke out as he looked over the blueprints, "Okay, one Lupin is crazy enough, but when two of you get in on the act… Jesus…"

"And how do you expect to pull off something that large?" asked Goemon skeptically.

"Well… Sewer system, a few explosions… You know… The like" Lupin shrugged.

"Ha ha! I hate to see the face on the unlucky bastard you have go into the sewers!" Jigen laughed. He grew nervous as he heard silence, and glared at Lupin, "You can't be serious! I can't even see down there!"

"Which is why I had Fujiko and Amaya go in and set up lighting last night," Lupin replied.

"This job stinks," Amaya muttered with crossed arms. She sat calmly with the rest of the group in Lupin's room. Yukiko and Toshiro reluctantly stayed with Julia while the adult members left to retrieve the treasure. The reason was not so much due to Fujita as it was due to the fact Remy was there, and no one seemed to trust Remy. The three minors had been left in the charge of Natasha and Zenigata, who had gone to visit even more of Natasha's highly-extended family.

"Yeah, but suddenly it's changed from a grab the loot type deal to a save the world type deal," Jigen answered, "It's everyone's ass on the line, now."

"So you'll go into the sewers, after all?" Lupin inquired.

"Friggin' hell no!" Jigen replied, "You've gotta be crazy to go into those things!"

"Which is why you're just the man for the job," Lupin answered with a smirk, "You and Remy are going in together."

Well, maybe I'll at least get to watch him drown, Jigen thought. He nodded, and rose from his seat in Lupin's room. He walked back into his own bedroom, quickly loaded his gun, and reported for duty. After changing into a repairman's outfit, he and Remy were able to easily get into the sewage systems. They found everything they would need down in the sewers.

"Fujiko and Amaya did good," Jigen smirked.

"Not bad at all. Well, we don't want to keep them waiting up there. Now, catch!" Remy called as he tossed Jigen a heavy box of explosives, which he caught and began to walk down to its destination. There were eight crates in all, all full with potential death for both men. Jigen had finally found an upside to not craving cigarettes anyone. One more light, and it would be the end of him. But it would also be the end of Remy, which would make it a pretty evenly placed day when it came to positives and negatives.

"Okay, now what, fearless leader?" asked Jigen as he looked down at the boxes.

"Well, opening the crates would be a terrific start," Remy grunted as he opened a crate forcefully with a crowbar, "Make sure not to get them into the water, or they'll be useless."

"Jesus!" Jigen shouted as a large rat, about the size of a domestic house cat, ran over his shoes. Jigen had thought it to be a cat at first, but it was much too low to the ground to be a cat. He drew his gun to shoot it, but Remy nearly tackled him in response.

"Do you have any clue what would happen if you fired a bullet!? We'd be blown to hell and back!" Remy snapped venomously.

"Oh, I thought you tackled me because that rat was friend of yours… Well, okay… No guns, then…" said Jigen slowly as he placed his gun back in his holster. Remy looked extremely deranged at that moment, and a mostly darkened series of mazes was the last place Jigen wanted to run for shelter if Remy snapped and tried to go after him. But the Frenchman did have a point about the gun—It would set off the explosives.

About an hour later, both men had set up the explosives in a fiberglass box, which they also had drain of any sewer water. And about an hour later, the total rat death toll was around thirty. Remy, ironically, was not a very big fan of rats, either, but was a big fan of knives. The two men finally shared a common bond.

"Okay, now we light it, and run like hell," said Remy as he removed a match from his pocket, "This thing's still going to blow—But hopefully there won't be any fire…. Otherwise the enter sewer's going to be a flaming river of hell…"

"I've got a better idea than the match," Jigen smirked as he drew out his pistol.

"How far can you still shoot?" asked Remy.

"Far enough," Jigen answered as he took aim. The bullet made contact with a large fuse, which proceeded to slowly burn a path into the box. Both men took off running, and heard a loud explosion behind the both of them, and there was also a briefly blinding flash of light. As this subsided, Goemon, Lupin, Fujiko, Amaya and Ming all entered the area.

"Great job, fellas!" Lupin laughed cheerily as he threw a grappling hook up to the brand new hole and made sure it was secure. He was the first one to scale up to the top, and was soon followed by the rest of the crew. Remy, the last up, also rolled up the rope, and joined the others on the top floor.

"Huh, no guards…" Jigen muttered to himself as he looked around the old interior of the empty building, "That's really weird…"

"Yeah," Goemon nodded.

A single piece of paper fell down from a piece of string and faced Lupin, who took the letter and read over it quickly, "Uh-oh," Lupin muttered in a dry gulp.

"Uh-oh? What uh-oh? Like, bad uh-oh?" Remy snapped.

"It's a trap!" Lupin yelled as men holding machine guns popped out of every slit window of the compound. Everyone jumped back into the dim hole as the barrage of bullets started, and Jigen ended up with another bullet to the hat.

"Hey, what'd that note say?" Ming inquired.

"Fujita got it out yesterday!" Lupin yelled angrily, "That guy is definitely on my hate list, now! You have no idea how bad I'd like to strangle that pipsqueak right now!"

"I think I do," Remy retorted, "I just spent my evening in the sewage canal! And with Pinocchio over there, to boot! How do you think my night was!? You just got shot at, I had to put up with him!" Remy added, pointing to Jigen.

"Hey, you leave him alone!" Ming snapped in defense, "He's my husband, dammit, and if you say one more thing about him, you're going to have a high heel shoved so far up your--"

"Ming, I—" Jigen started, but was soon hushed by his wife.

"Hey, I know what I'm doing," Ming whispered, and turned back to Remy.

"Oh, I get it," Remy smirked as he looked the two over, "he's the bitch."

"You bastard!" Jigen yelled as he lunged for Remy.

"Hey, hey, knock it off!" Lupin shouted as he and Goemon pried to two men off of one another, "Stop, Remy! Jigen!" Lupin yelled as he clasped onto his older brother's arms. Jigen was restrained by a fumbling Goemon, "Now, both of you, knock it the hell off, before I put you both in time out!" Lupin snapped. Remy and Jigen eventually ran out of energy, and both stood limp in their captors' arms.

"Come on, now. We don't have time for any of this crap," Lupin said, obviously irked by the constant snapping between his best friend and his only living sibling. Lupin sighed heavily in disgust, and he and the others walked towards the escape cars.

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me, Li Yan," Jigen said quietly to his wife, "I get by on my own when it comes to fighting, thanks."

"I—Dammit, you couldn't just let him talk to you like that!" Ming snapped.

"Hey," Jigen lifted her head upward, "I don't waste my energy on people like him, usually. Sure, he talks big, but he ain't got much to him, you know…"

"I guess…" Ming sighed, "Come on, let's get going with them. I ate two hours ago, but I'm hungry again, if you'd believe it! This baby's an eater!"

"Hm, what I want to know is if that baby's a boy or girl!" Jigen added as he lifted his fedora over his eyes. He and Ming walked over to their car, and Ming took the wheel of the vehicle.

As the three cars took off from the simple manhole, they were under the impression that their troubles were over, for now, at least. What they did not suspect was having machine gunfire follow them back to their hotel as they drove through a small abandoned desert area. The cars quickly spread out of control as bullet fire from two matching helicopters started. All of the members jumped out of their cars and used the vehicles as shields. One helicopter went through a made a straight line of bullet holes through the three cars.

"I can't get a clear shot!" Jigen snapped as he fired his gun a helicopter flew by.

"Hey, if we don't make it out of this, I want you to know something!" Ming shouted over the chopper blades.

"What!?" Jigen yelled, "Is it that friggin' important!?"

"Boy! I'm having a boy!" Ming shouted.

"WHAT!?" Jigen looked towards her in shock, "I'm… I'm… Hey, Lupin!" he shouted over to his friend.

"Jigen, I'm a little busy right now--What is it!?" Lupin demanded.

"I'm having a son!" Jigen shouted.

"All right! The streak's broken!" Lupin shouted happily as he fired another shot towards the helicopter. "God damn it…" he muttered to himself as he fumbled to replace the cartridge on his gun.

"Okay, okay…" Jigen muttered, and fired another bullet. He could not exactly see it make impact with the helicopter, due to the darkly lit area, but everyone saw the helicopter explode into a large fiery ball, and then land a few hundred yards away from them. The other helicopter, apparently not wanting to suffer the same fate as his comrade, and turned away from the group. It was out of sight before any could make a clear shot.

"That was one hell of a shot," Remy admitted as he stood up from behind Lupin's vehicle.

"I'm going to get those jerks… They ruined my Chrysler!" Amaya snapped as she looked over her hunter green vehicle with the fresh line of bullet holes running across it.

"It's all right, we have three at the house!" Fujiko reassured Amaya. Both snapped around in surprise as they heard a high pitched yell from behind them. Jigen had lifted Ming up, and spun her around once, much to her initial surprise. He did this while laughing happily to himself. All the members of the group stood speechless as they watched Jigen and Ming. This was a side of their friend that was a rare sight, and watching Jigen was both amusing and frightening to watch at the same time.

"Okay, okay! Put me down!" Ming slapped him and way wriggled out of his grasp. She paused, and stood there a moment in order to catch her breath, but was caught off guard as Jigen embraced her again. Fujiko and Goemon exchanged puzzled yet amused looks at this sight.

"You two breed like rabbits," Remy muttered, "Please tell me this will be your last. I don't think the world could take three of your heathens running around."

"Oh, like you and your girl won't?" Lupin snorted.

"No; Michi and I both detest small children," Remy replied.

"Michi… Where have I heard that name?…" Lupin muttered to himself as he glanced over at Remy, and then at Fujiko, who had failed to hear Remy's last comment, and was busy reloading her gun.

"Well, I'm going to have to tell Mom later," Jigen said as he regained his composure.

Ming started, "Yeah, I—"

But before she could finish, another helicopter flew overhead, and dropped a black box near the group. As the helicopter flew off, Lupin approached the package, and looked downward at it curiously.

"Mr. Lupin, I see you've come a little late; but not late enough to miss the festivities," said a familiar voice in a crackling sound from the box.

"Fujita!" Lupin gasped, "Okay, where are you?"

"Oh, that's something that I cannot tell you, you know that. Besides, I'll be much too busy tonight, preparing the final touches on my masterpiece." Everyone looked at one another in equal horror; they all knew what Fujita meant by this, "Well, I suppose this leaves no option for you but to leave with your tail in between your legs."

"Hey, I don't give up that easy!" Lupin snapped, "Come out here and face me like a man, you psycho midget from hell!"

Fujita let out a growl of anger, but this soon was transformed into a laugh, "Rather, no. But I have left a parting gift with you. Five, four, three, two…"

"Run!" Lupin shouted. All ran away towards their cars as quickly as possible. Jigen nearly tumbled after Ming grabbed him and ran with him over to their car. They waited tensely, and after the count of one, the box exploded in another fiery ball.

"I wish things would quit blowing up already!" Jigen snapped in frustration.

"Come on, guys. Let's go…" said Lupin quietly as he rose from behind his car and looked at the wreckage, "Damn…"

Back at the Hotel Later:

"Will that work?" Goemon asked skeptically as he looked over the plans.

"Yeah," Lupin nodded, "But we'll need Zenigata and Natasha's help, too."

"You have it, Lupin," Natasha answered before Zenigata could utter a single word of defense. The old man's shoulders slumped in defeat, and he looked over Lupin's plan once more. The little S.O.B. was pretty intelligent when it came to such things, he admitted.

"Toshiro and Yukiko will be needed, too," Lupin continued, "And possibly Julia, too…"

"We're here for you!" Yukiko said with a bright smile, "Hey, where're my parents?" she said in an afterthought.

"Um…. They're having a little alone time right now," Lupin answered, "It's okay—I filled them in on everything already."

"So, when are we going to pull this one off?" asked Remy.

"As soon as Fujita makes the next move," Lupin replied, "We won't be waiting long, fellas—Trust me. He's the type who never stays in hiding for long. But everyone watch out—Especially you, Amaya. He hates you more than me, and that's pretty hard to achieve…."

"Yeah," Amaya nodded, "I will, don't worry about me."

"Hey, you know I can't help it," he shrugged.

"You want me to go see what I can find out?" Fujiko asked.

"Well, I've actually got a really important mission for you, Fujiko," Lupin replied.

"Really?" she lifted her head upward at attention.

"Yeah—Go call and see how the kids are doing," Lupin replied. Fujiko's hopeful smile fell, and she rolled her eyes, and went to go find a telephone, "Great! Our phone's out!" she grumbled, "I'll go use the one next door."

"Why not use a cell?" Toshiro asked.

"Because someone's too dense to remember to charge it," Fujiko shot back, glaring directly at Lupin. Lupin smirked shyly in response, cleared his throat, and went back to his layout.

Fujiko walked out of the hotel room, and knocked on the door closest to her own room. Ming opened it after a few moments, and gratefully led Fujiko in, "Jigen, I'm going to get a bucket of ice!" Ming called.

"Okay," Jigen answered absently as he worked on fixing a jammed chamber on Ming's gun. He continued to work with it, but suddenly felt a pair of eyes upon him. He slowly glanced upward, and saw Fujiko staring back downward at him, apparently bemused, "What?" he inquired.

"You," Fujiko smirked, "she's turned you into quite the pushover, Jigen…"

"Pushover!? Me!? Ha!" Jigen laughed heartily at this, "Yeah, right! Come on, Fujiko, you can't be serious!"

"I was going to say—She's done a lot of good for you," Fujiko added in slight annoyance, "I'm going to call that creep now…"

"But you left Lupin in the next room! You just need to walk out to talk to him!" Jigen responded.

"I—Smartass," Fujiko sighed heavily and dialed the number to the house, and allowed it to ring several times. After about the sixth, someone picked up the line.

"Hullo?" asked the recipient in his usual British dialect.

"Hi, just checking on my kids, making sure you didn't sell them or anything," Fujiko said with a smile.

"Mommy! Mommy!" she heard in two distinct children's voices. She smiled widely as she heard Fuji and Ari on the other side of the phone; she would be home soon.

"Yes, yes, it's your bloody mummy! Now, let Uncle Collin alone for one moment!" Collin said tiredly, "Go talk to your Aunt Jean-Paul or something!"

"Let me talk to them a second," said Fujiko.

"Fine, your funeral. These two talk more than you and your husband put together!" said Collin tiredly.

"Hi, Mommy, hi!" Fuji called.

"Vodka, Mommy!" Ari added.

"Ari, it's not—" she broke off, and head her temple in her forehead. They would go over this when she got home. He could not go to preschool greeting people by the names of alcoholic beverages. It just wasn't proper etiquette, "Hi, Fuji, hi Ari…"

"Home soon?" asked Fuji in her broken vocabulary.

"Yeah, Fuji… Home soon," Fujiko nodded.

"Orange duck?" Ari continued.

This statement confused Fujiko beyond the point of speaking. She let out a small tired groan, "Sure, baby…" she sighed.

"Ya!" Ari yelled happily, followed by Fuji. Fujiko held the phone several inches away from her ear, and Jigen slowly looked upward from his gun at the phone. He, too, could hear the children screaming excitedly.

"They scream just like their mommy and daddy…" Jigen muttered after a long pause.

"Cute," Fujiko snapped, and held the phone back to her ear, "Fuji, Ari, okay!" she shouted over the screaming, which abruptly stopped.

"Bye, Mommy!" Fuji yelled as Collin took the phone back.

"Lightbulb, Mommy!" Ari added.

"You one kid needs language lessons…" said Collin, "He totally cannot get names right."

"Well, how are Ryo and Heiji?" asked Fujiko.

"Yeah—She better be okay, you hear me!?" Jigen yelled.

"Yeesh, yeah… I know… I'd be sliced and diced if anything happened to any of the little brats, ur, angels… I don't care how damned wealthy my family is—If I don't get paid next time, you'll never hear the end of it," said Collin tiredly.

"Well, you volunteered," Fujiko replied.

"Only to help out my dear little Oriental Mona Lisa," Collin responded, "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have crap to do with any of you all."

Fujiko smirked, "I'll talk to you later. I'm going to go now, but remember, if any happens to my babies, I'll—"

"Blow your Goddamn head off!" Jigen shouted.

"Er, yeah," Fujiko said slowly as she eyed Jigen, "Bye."

"Bye-de-bye, Mummy," Collin answered as he hung up the phone. Fujiko sighed heavily, dropped the phone into its cradle, and looked over at Jigen once more in amusement.

"I still don't get what's so funny…." said Jigen.

"I was just thinking back to the old you, who hated women."

"I didn't hate them—I just thought most of them were either stupid or double-crosses."

"But Ming was a double-crosser."

"Yeah, but Yukiko seemed to like her. I wouldn't have given her another shot if it hadn't been for the fact that my kid loved her," Jigen answered.

"You just have commitment problems," Fujiko answered.

"Would you stop with the free psyche sessions, already!? I know I'm screwed up in my head! I don't need you to sit there and tell me!"

"Have a good night, Jigen…"

"Yeah, see ya," Jigen waved her off, and watched as the door closed. He then sat Ming's gun on the table, and removed his hat. He pulled out a piece of paper from the band of the fedora, and unfolded it. It was an old picture, in black and white. It was a photo of an Italian man in a sharp suit, and three children. His sister Maria, when she was still able to walk, and him, when he still was an outgoing and energetic young boy.

"Wonder how much the kid's gonna take after his old man…" Jigen wondered as he folded the photo again, placed it in the band, and laid it on his head, just in time for Ming to open the door and see how he was coming along with her gun.