V 1/2


"I'm.....go-oo-oo-oo-oo-oona-aa-aa-aa be-ee-e siiii-ii-ii-ii-iick!!"

Calvin was practically hanging on to little more than a shred of restraint for his stromach as Hobbes roared through the hallway. He was going incredibly fast, faster than Calvin had ever seen him gone before.

Where....is.....this....coming.....from?! Calvin's face turned green. Either he's what that old guy said he was....or.....he's been eating Wheaties? He's going real fast!

Calvin, on the other hand, could not - would not - believe that Hobbes was what Callous said he was. Hobbes was too much of an idiot to be a spy.

Keep.....going....!!

Hobbes took in deep breaths as he blasted along, his hinds and front paws pumping as hard as they could.He still could not understand it, could not reconcile the strange images of the little cub with himself. On the other hand, he hadn't been keen on coming to this place to begin with, so he secretly blamed Calvin for the fix they were in. The only other thing on his mind were the words from his memories.
Run.
And he ran. Hobbes was running as fast as he could - it was fast, but not so fast as he wanted it to be. He wanted to be out of the place at that instant, and he just wasn't as fast as an instant.
For your sake, my boy, for the sake of the free world! Run for your life!
A gasp came from Hobbes, and the next thing Calvin knew, he lost his grip on Hobbes' neck. He sailed into the air with an angry shout of protest, and once again he handed on his behind. This time, however, it was twenty feet in front of Hobbes.

"AAAARGH!!" The boy scrambled up and jumped on Hobbes. "You noodlehead! TELL me when you're going to stop!"
"OW!" Hobbes gave a growl and smacked Calvin. "Get offa me, you human!"
"EERGH! Oooh, thats an iiiinsult, Mr. Tiger Trying To Kill Me!" Calvin jumped onto the tiger's belly as hard as he could. "You orange stick! If I had a dime for everytime you've tried killing me today, I'd be a millionaire!"
"Oh yeah," Hobbes threw Calvin off and landed on top of him. "Is that so? Well, I'd be a billionaire for every time you've tried to kill me EVER!"
"Oh yeah?!" Calvin slapped Hobbes. "I bet I'd be a billionaire times infinity!"
"LIES!"
"Are NOT!"

The fight went on for several moments. Soon, however, both parties gave up and seperated.

"BAH!" A scratched-up Calvin kicked the ground. "You traitor. I hope that Callous guy shoots you with that golden gun."
"Fat chance," Hobbes spat. "I took it, remember?"
".....Oh yeah!" Calvin's face brightened up. "Thats right, huh?"
"But we're not using it yet." Hobbes stuck his tongue out. "Only for emergencies."
"But...." Calvin's eyes widened. "The guards will be here any minute! We'll be trapped like sardines!"
"That's why...." Hobbes pointed. "We're going through there."

Calvin looked at where his companion pointed, and for a moment, could not believe his eyes. In front of them was a giant vent, spewing dust and dirt into the hall.

"Let's go through there!" Hobbes scrambled to his feet. "Come on! They won't detect us."
"Wh-whaa?" Calvin stared at the vent. "You want to go in that?!"
"Come on!" The next thing Calvin knew, Hobbes was pulling of the vent. "Let's get in here before the guards find us!"
"But...." Calvin looked around. "We'll get dirty!"

At that, Hobbes' head whipped back around at Calvin. His expression was one of surprise, fear and horror.

"WHAT?!" Hobbes' eyes were as wide as basketballs. "You, of ALL PEOPLE! How can you be disgusted at getting dirty?!"

Calvin gave a blink at this. He looked down, his eyes slit.

"Hmm..." At this, he leaped up onto the edge of the vent. "Good question. Maybe it was a moment of weakness in my crusade against baths."
"At this point," Hobbes lifted him in the rest of the way, taking up the vent door as he slid in. "I'm beginning to think you have more of those than excuses."
"Hey! I don't make excuses!"
"There's another one...."

And so the two argued as Hobbes slammed the vent door behind him. Their arguing continued, echoing through the venting, for several more minutes.

Even though they shouted in a loud manner, anyone looking for them would have been hard-pressed to actually find them. Their side of the building had no one, save Callous, who was too busy screaming orders to find Hobbes into his communicator to actually rationally go and chase after him. As it was, there was too much confusion, and too much smoke everywhere else, for an effective chase to be organized. There was a gun battle going on, between Callous' men and the S.W.A.T.-clad men and women who raided the complex. Had Calvin known about it, he would have stayed behind to watch the action.

"AUUUUGH!"
"Retreat!!!" One man shouted. "There's too many! We must retreat!"
"No!" One man shouted. "We can't retreat! The fate of the country is in our hands! They're defending the sector in a formation, so the tiger must be at the end of this hallway!"

The gun battle went on for almost an hour more after that. Little changed for either side for quite some time. The S.W.A.T.s would fire, and in retaliation, Calous' soldiers would fire back. Them, the S.W.A.T.s would fire again, and again in retaliation Callous' men returned fire. As a result, the action became cyclical, almost comical. Some property was damaged in this, and several men and women fell both in honor of their country and for their renegade leader, though a lot of this was due to tripping over themselves; the hall was relatively small. Fortunately for the sake of the gun battle's integrity, some men did fall by actually being shot.

Slowly and surely, however, the gun battle began to turn towards the S.W.A.T. teams that began converging in on the tiger's supposed location. One by one, they managed to mow down the men in the corridor, though this took time and effort. Soon, however, every one of Callous' men lay dead or wounded, and at the end of the hall was a large metal door.

"All right!" A cheer went up from the group. "WOOO!"
"Ok, guys," One of them, the group leader, motioned towards the door. "Let's go in and save the tiger!"

Quickly, the men and women knocked down the door that the defenders had been slowly surrounding. As soon as they entered through, however, their cries of victory instantly died out and were replaced by questioning noises of surprise. Their looks were soon those of complete confusion.

"Huh?" Slowly, several of the S.W.A.T.S furthered entered the room. One of them flipped on the lights. "Stand back, everyone..."

The confused looks turned into stares of horror. The room they had entered - which, for various reasons, including the fact that it was guarded, they thought would be an important room - was little more than a closet. Hanging from the wall was a large paper covered with words written in spray paint.

HA HA HA., The sign said. YOU FELL FOR DIVERSION B: THE JANITOR'S CLOSET. FOR FBI AGENTS, YOU ARE REALLY STUPID. P.S. YOUR FATHER SMELLED OF ELDERBERRIES.

"...Wha?"

Several moments passed as the agents looked at one another, puzzled by the meaning of what was going on. Finally, a light burst in on one of the agents, and they piped up.

"Hey....elderberries!" Everyone turned to look at him. "That's Monty Python!"

*BROOOOOOOOOOOOP! BROOOOOOOOOP! *



Suddenly, a loud alarm went off, and the next thing everyone knew, the door to the closet slammed shut.

"AAAH!!!!"

The screams of the four trapped S.W.A.T.s caused everyone else to freeze in fear for the moment. On top of the alarm, the quickly shut door had surprised them with its own loud clatter, and several of the team had to check to ensure their hearts were still beating in the proper rhythm.

"Intruder alert."

"My...god!!!" The leader of the team was one of those trapped inside the closet. Quickly, he slammed on the door. "MEN! RUN AWAY!! RETREAT!!"

At this, a strange green gas began to fill inside the closet, and the leader pounded harder on the door.

"SIR!!" One of the men shouted. "We've got to get you out!"
"No!!" Leader began to cough as he shouted back. "Get out with yourself! Tell Periwinkle abou-"

The shouting was interrupted by the sound of gunfire at the end of the hall. With a shout, the S.W.A.T. team ducked down, pacing themselves towards one of the doors, a fire escape. Each of the remaining S.W.A.T.s had an extra obstacle in the dead men that lay on the floor, which they had to crawl over. This also slowed their reaction time.

"Every man for themselves!!" One of the men gave a curse as a bullet richoceted right over his head. "Auugh, this was such a crap mission!"

The men whom worked for Callous fired off rounds, their aim missing the S.W.A.T.s as they all escaped through on of the doors. Some of the men, however, began to laugh, and soon all of Callous' men were laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the situation.

"FBI agents!" They smirked and laughed. "Haha! Look at 'em running home for mommy!"
"Wusses!"
"We'll make sure to give you the guided tour next time! Nyaahahaha!"

When the last one ran through, the sprinkler system went off, and the laughter was replaced by fits of sputtering.

"Huuuk! Uugh!" The leader of the men, a tall, muscular man, gave a growl. "Should have figured the used the damn fire escape."
"Piss-offs!" One of the men shook his head of the water. "Ptui! Come on, sir, let's finish those chicken Federal Bureau assholes off once and for all!"
"No." A hand went in front of the man. "Callous' orders. Let them run with their tails in between their legs." With that, the batallion leader gave a smirk. "All the better not to have any more dead bodies on our hands, huh?"

With that, the men slowly made their way through the wetness, and the cache of bodies, to the janitor closet. With a hard pull, the leader opened the door. The water from the hall gushed over the unconscious bodies of the four agents. Small tufts of green gas still vented from above, though the leader simply smiled at this.

"This is enough for now." He picked up one of the bodies. "Come on, let's clean this mess up."

---------------------

"FREE!"

The vent door flew out onto the ground below, and tumbling out after were two very black masses of dirt. One was furry, and was tumbling out in a ball; the other, shorter one was bouncing out irratically.

"Wow! Hahaha!" Calvin landed in a puff of dust and dirt. "Now, THAT is something to tell everyone at home!"
"Yes...." Hobbes disgustedly tried to wipe himself off, to no avail. "Being attacked by an insane man and getting extremely dirty trying to escape is my idea for a good story."
"Isn't it, though?"
"Apparently, it hasn't occurred to you..." Hobbes took a piece of lint out of his ear. "That if we go back home, they'll just go and catch us again. Besides which, I have no clue how to get home to begin with."
"That's simple!" Calvin began to run. "We'll just ask a gas attendant. Gas attendants know everything!"
"Indeed..."

Hobbes could only give a sigh and slink after Calvin as he ran across the concrete blacktop. They were on the side of the complex, and they were close to a large metal fence.

"I wonder what my friends would say when I got home...." Calvin jumped up onto the fence, grunting as he climbed. "....and told them I was a spy!"
"Hmm...." Hobbes stared at the fence for a moment before bringing his paw up. His claws sprung out. "Yes, a lot of questions are going to pop up."

With a quick slash and swipe, the fence was sliced up into hundreds of tiny little pieces. With a shrug, Hobbes walked through the hole he created and stared up at Calvin, who was struggling to get higher up on the climbing.

"You know, there's barbed-wire up there."
"I know that, doofu-HEY!" Calvin noticed the hole and jumped off. "How'd you do that?"
"How do you think I did it?" Hobbes put his hands to his hips as Calvin walked through. "I have the mandibles of death, remember?"
"Having mandibles has nothing to do with your claws!" Calvin pointed to Hobbes' face. "Your mandibles are your teeth!"
"Right..." Hobbes glared at Calvin as he walked off. "Sorry I didn't know the difference."

Calvin gave a snort as he ran off onto the street, looking at the sky as he did. It was clear and blue, and the sun was still high in the sky; Calvin assumed that it was about mid-afternoon. With a deep breath, he excitedly clapped his hands, nodding, while Hobbes looked on, sighing as the boy snickered.

Neither noticed the large shadow that was suddenly approaching them from the rear.

"What are you laughing about?"
"I'm just laughing...." Calvin gave a smirk. "As to how I'm going to tell the class about this. Should I put in one nuclear explosion or two?"
"What?!" Hobbes looked at Calvin with a disapproving look. "Why put anything in at all?!"
"It makes it sound cool!" Calvin rolled his eyes. "Now, just tell me your opinion. Should the nuclear explosion happen before we meet that Callous, guy, or after?"
"Muh."
"....I didn't get that."
"Mmmuh!"
"What?" Calvin gave a frown as he turned around. "Hobbes, its either 'before' or 'after'. No a big...."

Calvin's voice trailed off as he stared at Hobbes' spot. There was no Hobbes.

"....deal? Hobbes?" Calvin's eyes slowly crimped. "Hobbes! Where did you go?!......Stupid tiger..."

Calvin turned around to see if Hobbes was on the other side of his body. As he did, seeing that Hobbes wasn't around him, he wondered, deep down (though he would never admit it) what Hobbes really was. It wasn't something he had actually thought about, with the memory-erasing and the lasers and the computers and the vent. Now, however, the excitement had worn down, and the question remained.

I don't get it. Calvin's head-turning became more fantic. Why doe they want Hobbes? Why do they keep calling him Porcleain Tiger? And if he's what they say he is, how come the chowderhead do-HUH?!

Calvin suddenly gave a cry, and grunt, as he suddenly felt something pass through his neck. The pain was fleeting, and the cold steel left his neck as quickly as it had gotten there. Yet Calvin suddenly felt tired for some reason as a result.

Hobbes.... Calvin stumbled and fell to the ground. Uuuugh, not......again........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

---------------------

As Calvin's limp body went up and down with drug induced sleep, the shadow picked him up quietly and quickly. On the shadow's other shoulder was Hobbes, also asleep, and mumbling words under his breath.

"Muuuuh...." There came a snore. "I....see dea.......pepl.......buuuuh....."
"At last." Quickly, the shadow turned and walked towards a black car. The shouts of the S.W.A.T.s could be heard in the distance. "I finally have you, Porcelain Tiger."