Chapter 7




Washington D.C. is one of the oldest cities in the United States. Dedicated in 1790, officially occupied by the president in 1796, it was named after the first president, a man who fought with his life to protect the newly born nation that was threatened by tyrannical masters, both seen and unseen. It has seen many trials, and many powers, as well as many battles.

Yet, in its short existance, thrice has the city been threatened with besieging in any way, and only once was an all-out battle fought in its midst. In 1812, it was attacked and burned to the ground. In the Civil War, it was sighted by the Confederates as a possible attack point. Then, finally, came 2001, when a plane, flown by terrorists, came barrelling from the sky, crashing into the side of a building.

But while those battles were all well-documented, there is one battle that no one knows about. Another battle, a fourth siege on America, one that not even the president was fully aware of.

Frankly, some would say its a good thing he wasn't.

------------------------

The sun was just beginning to finally disappear beyond the horizon when 2039 - far past any respectable kid's bedtime - when Callous stepped out of his communications room and into the hall.

Its almost time. Callous strutted down the hall, his head held high. Soon I will have the tiger once more. And I know Periwinkle will do as I ask...unless he wants his troops on the 11 o'clock news.

He looked around, and gave a smile, for he knew everything would be all right after this. Soon, the tiger would be in his grasp again; all that was left was to dispose of him properly. Periwinkle would be humiliated, and fired, never to bother Callous. The Talc Rabbit would be ready for its mission within a matter of weeks. And the boy....

....Calvin. The word was almost etched into Callous' mind with a Play-Do knife. Never in all of my years have I faced such an evil, unruly, stupid little boy that gave me the trouble I've been getting! I'll deal with him properly....

He took a deep breath, and pushed a button on the side of the wall. Instantly, a door at the end of the hall opened, revealing within a rotunda, within a room similar in size and shape to the rooms that had computers and the memory machine. This one, however, was much more decorated; it was furnished to look more like a drug house than an official government room.

"Hmmm...yes." Callous turned to one of his associates. "Is everything in order?"
"Everything, sir."
"Good." In the corner were four large potato sacks. "Remember, if Periwinkle tries anything...."
"Yes." The man gave a nod. "We know what to do, sir."
"Good." Callous turned away. "Are they coming?"
"Yes, sir."

The man pressed a button, and a screen briefly popped out of the ceiling. On it, an image of Periwinkle, Calvin and Hobbes were climbing out of a car was seen.

"Excellent." A wide grin came on Callous' face. "Escort them in immediately."

The man gave a quick nod, and was out of the room.

"Prepare everything so that we can handle....certain emergencies," Callous turned to some of the other workers. "Remember, if anything goes wrong, make them all - Periwinkle, the tiger, the kid - disappear."

There was a seeming agreement between the men and Callous on what was to be done. However, several of them looked at one another warily at the thought of killing the last spoken subject. Unlike Callous, they did not have a real reason to kill a young child, no matter how obnoxious.

"Do you think Callous is being a little...." one whispered. "...overreactive?"
"Well, it'll be the death of us if we kill a kid!" Another one whispered back. "I have an idea. Let's spare the kid, and if we get arrested by the terrorist cell of Periwinkle's guys, we'll get some points for at least sparing the kid."
"They won't torture us before they kill us." The man winked. "Good idea!"

Soon, the plan was spreading like wildfire, and by the time Callous' prisoners had entered the building, a secret plan was set by the men who worked for Callous.

"They are here, sir." Suddenly, a door slid open, revealing a guard. "Here they are, sir."

If Callous had been drunk on victory before, then by this time he was certainly smashed. For coming through the door, head down, were the Porcelain Tiger and Agent Red Periwinkle.

"Perfect....."

He looked at his dejected prisoners up and down in full glee, seeing the looks of defeat on their faces. There was a look of humiliation on Periwinkle's face; on Porelain Tiger's a look of annoyance.

"At long last."

He was almost there. He could almost touch victory. He was about ready to do the Macarena....no, the Ketchup.....no, the Funky Chicken. Anything he knew, as Callous was that close to achieving his ultimate goal, of erasing the dark splotch off of his past.

"......Hmm."

Callous' face suddenly set into a frown. There was one missing.

"...The boy."
"Boy?" The closest gunman looked at Callous. "You mean-"
"Calvin." Callous grit his teeth. "The boy. Where is he?"
"...I....in the bathroom, sir. He had to go."

Suddenly, the gunman felt as if he had invited a deranged, cross-eyed dragon to bite his head off. The look on Callous' face as his head twisted over to him in slow motion was a frighteneing experience in itself. His mouth was set in a box, and his pearly white teeth were shown as the deputy director drew a dangerously low hiss.

"...WHAT?!" Callous gave another snarl. "What do you mean he had to go to the bathroom?!"
"He said he couldn't hold it, sir." The man looked nervous. "He just....had to go."
"GET HIM BACK HERE!"
"Sir, I-"
"DO IT NOW!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!"

Suddenly, a piercing scream echoed into the room, repeating itself through the excellent acoustics of the room several times over. The tone of it was so piercing that everyone found their hands on their ears, depserate to keep the pitch from making their eardrums explode.

"GAAAAAAH!" Callous gave a roar. "GET THAT KID!!!!!!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, it came. It came so fast and furious that no one, not even Hobbes and Periwinkle, had expected it. The door was thrown open, and running as fast as he could was Calvin, golden gun in hand.

"DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The boy, dressed in a red cape and hood, ran across the room, right in between Callous' legs, with a wild scream. "FEAR ME, EVILDOER! For I am.....STUPENDOUS MAN!!!!"

The rage on Callous' face almost scared Calvin off; his was like a raging, snarling male version of Mrs. Wormwood when she was at her worst. But Calvin saw his face only for an instant, for when he went under his legs he fell to his knees and slid out of the room.

"STOP HIM!" Callous roared at the reluctant and flabbergasted guards. "STOP HIM-"
"Freeze."

With a cry, Callous' head snapped up again towards Hobbes and Periwinkle. They both had guns pointed towards him; the guards next to them were on the ground.

"Happy birthday, Arthur." Periwinkle's stare bore into Callous. "Compliments of the president."
"I think not."

Again, it was Callous' turn to laugh as twenty guards pointed their guns at the two.

"You take care of these traitors." Callous turned and ran out of the room. "I'll take care of the boy!"
"Well," Hobbes looked at the barrels pointed at him and casually dropped his gun. "I was expecting a lot more. You?"
"I was thinking more too." Periwinkle did not drop his gun. "Still, this is still.....not the best. Especially with him on the loose."

And so a standoff ensued, the Porcelain Tiger and Periwinkle against Callous' men, men who knew them as no better than terrorists.

--------------

"WOOOOOOOO!!!"

Within seconds, Calvin was running around screaming down the hall, catching the attention of all of the men on guard. Though these men did not know of the pact, nor of Calvin's existance, they nevertheless were dumbfounded as the saw him fly by.

"DEATH TO EVIL!!!" He zoomed past two guards. "SAVE THE WORLD! STUPEEEEEEEEEEEENDOUS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!"
"He's loud." One of them aimed his gun. "You sure we can't shoot him?"
"He looks too American, and he's a kid." One of them shot up two foot above Calvin. "This is suspicous, even for boss. Killing a kid?"
"Yeah...."
"Let's just pretend we missed, hmm?"
"....Right with me."

And so, as Calvin whizzed by, the guns went off; however, the bullets richeted off of pipes, the ceiling, on the floor. And so Calvin - Stupendous Man - was momentarily protected from death, not by his own devices, but by the consciences of Calvin's men.

"Oh! Arrgh!" The men feigned frustration. "He's moving too fast! Arrrgh!"

--------------------

"Ok...."

Periwinkle and Hobbes were still in a tense standoff with the gunmen. Surrounded with AKs and Glocks alike, the two looked at one another uneasily.

"Well..." Speaking in Chinese, Hobbes cracked his knuckles. "I'm beginning to remember something I learned back in the day..."
"It's not anything silly, is it?" Speaking in English, as he only knew bits of Chinese, Periwinkle eyed the tiger warily. "I don't know how long this is going to last here before they decide to attack. And besides which, why are you speaking in Chinese?"
"....I don't know." Hobbes scratched his head. "Sudden impulse. Haven't spoken it in years."

And so the standoff continued.

--------------------

"STUPENDOUS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!"

Calvin burst through one of the doors at the end of the hall, screaming and cackling evilly. He took out the golden gun and began to point it inside the darkened rooms.

"Hahahah!!!" He pressed the trigger. "And with my.....eh.....?"

Calvin looked down at the gun, confused. Nothing had come out. He pulled the trigger, this time pointing the gun at himself. There was still nothing.

"What the....ARRRRRGH!" With a disgusted growl he threw the gun as hard as he could. "There's no bullets!!!!! Those doodoo heads took out the bullets when I wasn't-"

*WHAAAAAAAMCLAAAANG*



There was a squeak, followed by a clatter of metal and glass. Curious, Calvin flipped the lights on and found himself staring inside a gigantic, dimly lit laboratory. It was two stories high, and filled with tables stocked to the edges with chemicals, flasks and sastitubes of all shapes, colors and sizes. It was also hot, and Calvin felt the need to take his cape off.

Man.... The boy was flabbergasted. This is even cooler than the memory loss room thing...

Another squeak came from behind the table once more. Quickly, Calvin picked up a cage, which had fallen on the floor when the gun hit it.

"What the..." Calvin made a face. "A stuffed bunny rabbit?"

The Talc Powder Rabbit stared back at Calvin with wide eyes, whimpering. It recognized him well. However Calvin took it, however, a twisted smile came on his face.

"Bleh....Stupid old guy." Without consideration, courtesy or ceremony, Calvin stuffed the rabbit into the back of his pants. "Though....this looks like Susie's stupid Mr. Bun. Maybe when I get back home I could use that to my advantage. STUPENDOUS MAAAAAAN!!"

With that, Calvin abandoned the battle and began to explore the laboratory, forgetting his cape, and more importantly, the gun.

--------------------

The standoff still continued in the dome. This time, there were thirty guards surrounding Hobbes. Periwinkle, by this time, was resigned to eating a chocolate bar.

"Um, so...." Hobbes scratched his head with his gun. "Do any of you guys like....knitting?"
"Shut up." A gun went into Hobbes' face. "Surrender, Porcelain Tiger! We've given you enough time to think about it."
"Um...." Hobbes glared at the guard as he swiped the gun away. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make casual conversation here."
"I'll give you casua-"
"Sorry I'm late!"

Every head turned as one guard, smaller than the rest, came bounding in from the side door. His face was red, and it was obvious that he had not been in the complex during any of the events of the day.

"Jordan." There was a moan from the guard that had threatened Hobbes, and by the groans coming from the other guards, there was an agreed consensus on the newcomer. "God dammit, you're late again!"
"I'm sorry!" The voice of the newcomer made Periwinkle's head come up. "I was, um....my mom was in the hospital."
"Don't lie. You were making out with your girlfriend."
"I was not!"
"Hey, yeah you were!" Another guard's voice piped up. "I thought I saw you in the back seat of your Mustang-"
"SHUT UP!"

The newcomer suddenly felt a pair of eyes on him, and he turned to see Periwinkle standing in front of him, staring at him in disbelief. Meanwhile, the guards caught that one of the prisoners was missing.

"What the hell?" The guns were immediately pointed at Periwinkle. "How'd you get out?"
"M....." Periwinkle stuttered. "....Madison!"
"Yeah I..." The newcomer, Jordan Madison, suddenly gasped. "What the...D...DOCTOR DICKENSHEETZ!"

There was an awkward silence at this. The guards simply blinked and stared at the two men, and slowly began to drop their weapons. Meanwhile, Hobbes, clearly confused, crept up, climbed onto the guard that threatened him, and sat on his head as he watched the scene as it unfolded.

"Doctor....Dickensheetz?" One of the men gave a shout. "H-hey! Wait a minute! Arsenene Dickensheetz? The head of the FBI?"
"Doctor Dickensheetz!" Jordan pointed. "My old college professor! You're the head of the FBI?"
"...You didn't know I.."
"Has boss gone mad?" Another guard spoke. "This guy's not a terrorist, he's a respected..."

Soon, just about every guard in the complex were talking in loud, excited voices. Periwinkle, meanwhile, felt something nudge his side.

"'Dickensheetz'?" Hobbes gave Periwinkle an amused look. "No wonder you didn't want us to know your real name."