A.N./ Happy New Years! It's finally 2004! *throws confetti and dances around* By the way, hope you enjoy this. I did this one a while ago and I didn't feel like redoing another Keiko. But this isn't very nasty. I just hope you guys think this is funny though. Here is the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own YYH

You're On Hiei Camera!

Chapter 5: Keiko

The camera turns on and Hiei's face appeared.

"Hn," Hiei hned, "Today, I shall track down the weak ningen girl known as, Keiko."

The camera turned off.

Hiei jumped from tree to tree, all the way to the school in which Keiko, Yusuke, and Kuwabara attends to.

He finally reached his destination and hid behind a wall. He peeped over the corner and turned his camera on.

"Hi Yusuke!" Keiko smiled.

Yusuke smiled back and greeted her back. He went in back of her but Keiko turned around, "Yusuke! You're not getting me this time."

"Fine. I'm sorry about last time." Yusuke apologized.

Keiko smiled and Yusuke smiled back. Keiko began to walk to class but Yusuke sneaked up on her and lifted her skirt way high.

"Nice choice of color today," Yusuke said as he looked at her underwear.

Keiko turned bright red and smacked Yusuke as hard as she could.

"The girl seems to be violated and harassed often by Yusuke," Hiei said. "She is rejecting his mating call."

Keiko stomped off to class with Yusuke following behind her. "Aw, come on! It was just a joke!" Yusuke yelled, trying to get Keiko's attention.

The camera turned off.

Later that day, Hiei jumped onto the roof and looked down.

The camera turned on, showing Hiei's face.

"It is time for the girl to exercise," Hiei said, turning the camera down, towards the track field. "As you can see, the ningen girl is starting to sag. So, she must be in a good physical condition or Yusuke would surely never mate with her.

Keiko walked out in her gym clothes. She looked at herself, "Am I getting fatter?"

The gym teacher assigned them twelve laps on the track. Keiko sighed and started running.

The camera zoomed in on her jogging.

"Hn. She is running pathetically slow," Hiei laughed. "She'll never lose any weight like that."

The camera went off.

The camera turned on once more and zoomed in on Keiko sitting down at a table, digging through her bag.

"It is time for her usual feeding," Hiei whispered, inside a garbage can. "She is hunting her prey at this very moment. It is best to keep a far distance when dealing with food."

"Argh! Where did it go?!" Keiko yelled as she frantically dug through her bag, looking for her lunch.

"Keiko!"

"WHAT?!" Keiko yelled, frustrated.

"Calm down," Yusuke said, sitting down next to her.

"Sorry. It's just that I can't find my lunch." Keiko sighed.

"Want some?" Yusuke passed her a sandwich.

"Food!" Keiko beamed as she quickly stuffed the food into her mouth.

"Don't look now, but I think Hiei is trying to do a documentary on you." Yusuke warned.

"Don't be silly." Keiko smiled.

"You can see his spiky hair peeping out from that garbage can over there." Yusuke pointed out.

"Hn. Yusuke is pointing over here," Hiei whispered hesitantly. "Now he is walking in my direction! Shit!"

Yusuke dumped the remnants of his lunch into Hiei's garbage can and walked away with an evil smirk on his face.

Hiei got out of the garbage can, with a banana peel on his camera and bread crumbs in his hair.

"Well, I guess Yusuke wants to die." Hiei stated out to his camcorder.

The camera went off.

The camera went on again.

"We shall now observe what she does during a pre-mating ritual called a 'date.'" Hiei spoke as he followed Keiko and Yusuke walking down the streets.

She went into a store, dragging Yusuke along. Hiei crouched down in front of a window outside the store.

The camera zoomed in on Keiko twirling around in a dress for Yusuke.

"What do you think?" Keiko giggled.

Yusuke sighed from boredom.

"This girl likes to show off her chubby legs often." Hiei said, peeping through the window.

Hiei jumped into a tree as the couple walked out of the store and down to an ice cream shop.

"Hey, babe. What you doing here on a night like this?" Yusuke growled to the girl serving ice cream.

"Hn. The girl has chosen a horrible male to be her future mate, indeed." Hiei said as he watched Keiko give Yusuke a hard slap on the cheek.

"Er, two chocolate ice cream cones, please." Yusuke said, feeling a bit awkward.

Hiei, behind another garbage can, drooled at the sight of ice cream, "Sweet snow!"

Keiko turned around and saw a black blur.

"Hiei, come out. We know you're there!" Keiko shouted.

Hiei crouched down lower and lower.

Keiko walked over to the garbage can and looked behind it, but no one was there.

"Hiei...." Keiko asked, seeing if he really was there.

Hiei looked at her up in a tree, "So, there is the weak ningen girl, known as Keiko Yukimura, who is always being stalked by Yusuke."

The camera went off.