James admits something REALLY big in this chapter. This one's also set
during The New Frontier, I guess. Y'know, with my behind/between-the-scenes
thing. It's S/J. Totally. Which is why I want reviews. At some point.
This show isn't mine. Duh.
That's about it.
So, without further ado...
Sarah hasn't come back for weeks. I'm worried. No, actually, I'm beyond worried. I'm beyond writing letters to Sybil. I'm beyond ignoring my feelings. I'm afraid she's dead. I know Henri and Moses are worried, and most of all, Sarah's mother (it's a really bad sign when you get a letter from your daughter's best friend). But I'm more scared than all of them.
I'm in love with her and I doubt any of them can claim that.
They love her, sure, but not they're not IN love WITH her. Which isn't very pleasant. What once was a crush has progressed into so much more. And I can't do anything to stop it.
A knocking comes from the door and I run over to answer it. It is Sarah, looking bedraggled, yet still alive. She's alive! I'm so happy right now that the Army could surrender and I wouldn't care. Okay, maybe I would, but only a little.
I envelop her in a huge hug wordlessly. Henri and Moses are probably behind me, but I don't care. She's alive and that's all that matters. If I were braver, I'd have kissed her, but, if I were that brave, I'd be a soldier.
She stands there awkwardly for a moment before hesitantly hugging me back and then breaking the hug. I'm grinning and I must be so obvious that even she can see, but it doesn't matter. Sarah exhales and sets her bags inside. I move to make room for her and sit on the steps. She sits down next to me and sighs, looking down.
"When I was out in the wilderness of the Ohio Valley, I saw some terrible things. Things so terrible I would rather no one see them at all. America has become a haven for the violent, a home where death roams and frolics with sadness and fear on the blood spattered land you call home," Sarah begins, a haunted look covering her face.
Her words frighten me. And what's up with the "you call home" bit? Does she mean that America is no longer her home? Or was it ever?
Girls are confusing. Especially smart ones like Sarah.
"James, it is too dangerous here. I am to leave tomorrow for London," Sarah whispers.
I jump up off the step.
How could she betray me like that? She leaves just because of a little violence against some Indians. I'll guarantee that they didn't deserve it, but Indians are always dying out there. Now, while I don't like that my own race is killing them, they have killed us.
This war disturbs me. But you don't see me fleeing to Britain, now do you?
"Sarah! How can you just leave?" I snap, anger coursing through my veins.
Sarah looks scared, but I'm beyond caring. I want to yell at her, but yet I don't.
"So why are you running away?" I question, and she has no answer.
I sigh. This conversation is like me talking to a brick wall.
"Sarah, our country's in war. You know as well as I do that it's not perfect here," I hiss, annoyed.
Still she says nothing.
"I want to know, Sarah. I want to know how you can just get up and leave after years of living here with us. Why are you going back? Why now?" I spit rapidly, question after question.
Sarah looks down at the ground. Then it hits me, why she's leaving.
And all I can think is that I should've known.
"You-you're leaving because of HIM!" I shouted, rage sizzling through my voice uncontrollably.
Sarah looks up at me, angry. Her eyes are wet and I feel a pang of guilt. However, it was her who wronged me. I soon forget about the guilt.
"Yes, James, I am! Okay? What do you want from me, James?" Sarah shrieks, crying.
I scowled and looked her straight in the eye. I could see right through her.
"I want you to stay, Sarah," I declared hollowly.
Sarah turns away from me and runs up the stairs sobbing. She looks back at me once. Our eyes connect briefly. It's as if I'm getting a look inside her soul. But the connection lasts less than a minute.
"James, I am sorry, but that is the only thing I cannot do at the moment," Sarah says, before running the rest of the way into her bedroom and locking the door.
Though she's gone, I glare at her figure, seething.
"Fine, Sarah! But you get to explain it to Henri!" I yelled, sick of being abandoned.
The little French boy was behind me, however.
"Explain what to me?" Henri asked curiously.
I glared viciously at him and gestured up the stairs.
"Go ask Sarah!" I snarled.
Henri looked after me, puzzled, as I left the room.
I can't believe Sarah's leaving. Another person in my life, gone. Just like that. Seems to happen an awful lot nowadays.
- Loren ;*
'Night!
This show isn't mine. Duh.
That's about it.
So, without further ado...
Sarah hasn't come back for weeks. I'm worried. No, actually, I'm beyond worried. I'm beyond writing letters to Sybil. I'm beyond ignoring my feelings. I'm afraid she's dead. I know Henri and Moses are worried, and most of all, Sarah's mother (it's a really bad sign when you get a letter from your daughter's best friend). But I'm more scared than all of them.
I'm in love with her and I doubt any of them can claim that.
They love her, sure, but not they're not IN love WITH her. Which isn't very pleasant. What once was a crush has progressed into so much more. And I can't do anything to stop it.
A knocking comes from the door and I run over to answer it. It is Sarah, looking bedraggled, yet still alive. She's alive! I'm so happy right now that the Army could surrender and I wouldn't care. Okay, maybe I would, but only a little.
I envelop her in a huge hug wordlessly. Henri and Moses are probably behind me, but I don't care. She's alive and that's all that matters. If I were braver, I'd have kissed her, but, if I were that brave, I'd be a soldier.
She stands there awkwardly for a moment before hesitantly hugging me back and then breaking the hug. I'm grinning and I must be so obvious that even she can see, but it doesn't matter. Sarah exhales and sets her bags inside. I move to make room for her and sit on the steps. She sits down next to me and sighs, looking down.
"When I was out in the wilderness of the Ohio Valley, I saw some terrible things. Things so terrible I would rather no one see them at all. America has become a haven for the violent, a home where death roams and frolics with sadness and fear on the blood spattered land you call home," Sarah begins, a haunted look covering her face.
Her words frighten me. And what's up with the "you call home" bit? Does she mean that America is no longer her home? Or was it ever?
Girls are confusing. Especially smart ones like Sarah.
"James, it is too dangerous here. I am to leave tomorrow for London," Sarah whispers.
I jump up off the step.
How could she betray me like that? She leaves just because of a little violence against some Indians. I'll guarantee that they didn't deserve it, but Indians are always dying out there. Now, while I don't like that my own race is killing them, they have killed us.
This war disturbs me. But you don't see me fleeing to Britain, now do you?
"Sarah! How can you just leave?" I snap, anger coursing through my veins.
Sarah looks scared, but I'm beyond caring. I want to yell at her, but yet I don't.
"So why are you running away?" I question, and she has no answer.
I sigh. This conversation is like me talking to a brick wall.
"Sarah, our country's in war. You know as well as I do that it's not perfect here," I hiss, annoyed.
Still she says nothing.
"I want to know, Sarah. I want to know how you can just get up and leave after years of living here with us. Why are you going back? Why now?" I spit rapidly, question after question.
Sarah looks down at the ground. Then it hits me, why she's leaving.
And all I can think is that I should've known.
"You-you're leaving because of HIM!" I shouted, rage sizzling through my voice uncontrollably.
Sarah looks up at me, angry. Her eyes are wet and I feel a pang of guilt. However, it was her who wronged me. I soon forget about the guilt.
"Yes, James, I am! Okay? What do you want from me, James?" Sarah shrieks, crying.
I scowled and looked her straight in the eye. I could see right through her.
"I want you to stay, Sarah," I declared hollowly.
Sarah turns away from me and runs up the stairs sobbing. She looks back at me once. Our eyes connect briefly. It's as if I'm getting a look inside her soul. But the connection lasts less than a minute.
"James, I am sorry, but that is the only thing I cannot do at the moment," Sarah says, before running the rest of the way into her bedroom and locking the door.
Though she's gone, I glare at her figure, seething.
"Fine, Sarah! But you get to explain it to Henri!" I yelled, sick of being abandoned.
The little French boy was behind me, however.
"Explain what to me?" Henri asked curiously.
I glared viciously at him and gestured up the stairs.
"Go ask Sarah!" I snarled.
Henri looked after me, puzzled, as I left the room.
I can't believe Sarah's leaving. Another person in my life, gone. Just like that. Seems to happen an awful lot nowadays.
- Loren ;*
'Night!
