Title: I'm A Fighter, Not A Lover

Rating: PG-13

Author: Rageful Fairy

Categories: Action/Adventure + Romance + Drama + Angst

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of FFX

Summary: Auron's look at the relationship he's formed with Rikku during Yuna's pilgrimage.

Author's Notes: Me friend, (Author: Vivid Crimson Image) got me hooked on this site so now I got registered and am writing a fanfic. I was hesitant to do so... but I've got my friend backin' me up in the moral support area so I'm cool. Here's my fic, I'm A Fighter, Not A Lover; so roll it!

Prologue ~ - ~ Regrets

I stand over the highest cliff of the Farplane, gazing out to the wonderous pinkish-orange surroundings. The clouds present themselves as part of the art-work of the sky. The Farplane-- my final destination. You would think living your death would be the perfect expirience in a place of such beauty. But it isn't. You have regrets controlling your day-by-day death that haunt you from life.

Things you've lost remain stuck in your mind as you realize contact with the outside world is blocked by one undefeatable barrier. It almost makes you wish you've held on to those things why you could. It makes you think. A lot. It makes you think about everything. You lost everything. I lost everything. I lost everything I had and didn't have. I've lost everything I wished I had and everything I wished I didn't have.

It makes you think about what you had. I had companions present at every moment I needed them. I treated them so badly once I came to remember my previous attitude. Cold and private. As if I sworn myself and feelings to secrecy; when it was only myself I concerned myself with. Re-uniting with old comrades... friends... really made it clear to me that even though events that happened in my life have molded me as cold as ice; I can let someone break that ice. The ice... as seemingly unbreakable as it appears-- can be shattered with a touch of memories and friendship that was almost impossible to rekindle. It makes you wish you took advantage of everything; and have it not be a guilty sin.

It makes you think about those you've touched and those you've hurt. Those you've made happy and those who you inspired. Being labled as a 'ledgendary guardian,' I've encountered many people who I've affected greatly in any of those ways.

Bathello-- guardian of Lady Dona... a summoner not worthy of a guardian with an admirable resolve and concern as he. What he must have had to put up with doing Lady Dona's pilgrimage as she seemed so demanding and take-charge. Then having him told me I was the reason he became a guardian. I never was phased by it then but now as I have all the time in the world to think about it I am very greatful for such a compliment.

Tidus-- son of the one who sacrificed himself along with Lord Braska. I taught him to be strong. Kid doesn't know it yet but I did it. Jecht had thanked me several times since my home become the Farplane for Tidus not erupting in tears everytime he'd been hurt emotionally or rejected. Tidus never was the one who'd cry due to physical pain.

Maester Seymour Guado-- one of the few I'd never regret hurting. He murdered a previous friend of mine. I hate him even more than I did then; now that I had time to recollect on past events. Thorough thinking proved to influence my feelings even more. Hatred as strong as unbendable steel stand strong against Seymour for doing that to a dear friend. I was surprised not a deep spirit of Yevon would have robbed Seymour of honorable capabilities of combat-summoning almighty Aeons; especially the one known as Anima who bears such a hell-risen strength.

And Rikku-- the one who I regret hurting most. I have never realized it then but I hurt her dearly. My coldness never would open up to her cheery ways. When I realized once I departed for the Farplane that she spent too much time concerning her free time on getting me to lighten up, she was only trying to help me. Her comical comebacks, her bright aura, her swirly emerald eyes that endlessly spiraled in all happiness. Even in the times she was down she'd still attempt to be the same person she always was.

Such attitude like that made me fall in love with her. Then I was too secret and defiant to my feelings to be able to admit that to myself let alone to her. So many moments we'd shared as a romantic couple yet I'd always make her regretting she ever did share such things with me. I'd dismiss them with many of the unimportant matters of typical relationships. I must have hurt her so bad...

Hurting her makes me feel hurt...

I bet I never thought about it back then...

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Author's Notes: I know Auron seemed very... OOC... but I gave him the perspective of life here so that when he tells of the pilgrimage; the things he'd change and his insight on things he did would be more... more... open and normal.