Things with James Raleigh are...resolved. Set before In Praise of Ben, y'know, the one where she comes back. Anyways, there are five more chapters after this and I'll post them when I get back.

Hope you enjoy.

Do I own Liberty's Kids?

Is that supposed to be a joke?

I'm a fourteen-year-old girl. You've got to be kidding.

Anyways, on with the fic!

Mother is throwing me this stupid engagement party tonight. I really do not want to go. It seems as if all they are talking about is the war with America. I am afraid I still have not told my mother about my change of allegiance. I fear that though she loves me, she will not support my decision to switch sides.

Of course, Mother would be okay with it, after a little time. I know that my beloved will never think that this decision is all right. I could sense his contempt for America back in Philadelphia. I know I can never tell him of my change of heart. Maybe that explains the odd feeling in my stomach. I cannot stand dishonesty, which is probably why this is tearing me up so much.

I am in my room, before the mirror. This is one of the last glimpses I will have at myself before I marry. I smooth my new green dress nervously and pat my hair, which is up in a complicated knot. There are so many people here, most of which I'd prefer not to see. May the Lord help me through this trial. I sigh and walk downstairs.

"Sarah! Hello, it's marvelous to see you!" One of mother's friends exclaims.

This is why I left England in the first place. To escape from the air- headed upper echelon of England's social classes. I have smiled so much I cannot feel my face. I have not even seen my James yet. Anyone would be lost in the crowd here though. I wish my true friends were here, but I have a suspicion that they would be thrown out upon entrance. My mother is tapping a wine glass. That means she is going to announce it.

Why do I feel so nervous all of a sudden?

"My dear friends and family, Major Phillips and I have an announcement to make. Our beautiful daughter, Sarah, is betrothed to Major James Raleigh! Congratulations, Sarah!" Mother said enthusiastically.

I feel a thousand stares on me and I force myself to not blush or shiver. Everyone is smiling at me and congratulating me on my accomplishment. I found a man to marry me, big deal. Where were all these negative thoughts coming from? I humor them for a while, but when they start talking among themselves, I leave, unnoticed.

In the other room, waiting for me, is my love. I smile and kiss him hello. We break apart and I stand there, staring at his love-filled eyes. I feel guilty, incredibly guilty. Then, like a cannonball, it hits me. Hard and painfully, as I imagine those books must have hit James in the face.

I do not love him. I cannot honestly remember the last time I knew for sure about a decision and was actually right about it. I look into his pleading eyes and begin to weep.

"Why?" He asks.

I do not want to tell him, but I must. I am afraid, afraid of how my words will damage this poor man's spirit.

"I am sorry, James, but I cannot marry you," I sob.

I begin to run upstairs, but James follows.

"Why?" He asks, sounding hurt.

I look at my feet.

"I do not love you," I whisper.

"Why not?" He asks, sounding like a child.

I sigh. I do not know why I do not love him.

"I am an American now," I reply, knowing he will hate me.

If he hates me, this will be less painful for him. His eyes flash and he leaves without a goodbye. I sink into my bed, sigh, and begin packing. After I finish packing, I run to the dock. Imagine, me fleeing from my own engagement party...

I am running to the dangerous docks of London in the middle of the night, wearing all this finery for a party I am not attending, with little money or little idea of where I am going. I have just broken up with my fiancé and fled a party held in the honor of that engagement. Finally, I am going back to America, where my father lives in the wilderness with Indians, and I at the Pennsylvania Gazette. I am going back home.

I reach the docks, surprised that the ticket stand is still open. A gaunt looking man stands there, looking me over, seeming confused. I know what he is thinking. I do not belong here. But I am here out of necessity.

"Hello, Sir, could I buy a ticket for the next boat to America?" I ask quietly.

He gives me a skeptical look.

"Miss, what are you doing out here so late?" He questions loudly.

My smile falters.

"Sir, it is quite a long story and I do not believe you would want to listen to something so lengthy and dull. All in all, I would prefer not to talk about it. I am sure that you understand, correct, Sir?" I reply, smile fading.

He smiles weakly.

"Yes, Miss. I can get you on a boat by Friday. It leaves at eleven o'clock in the morning. Is that all right with you?" He replies calmly.

I nod and smile at him.

"Thank you, Sir. Here is the money. It was a pleasure meeting you," I respond, smiling.

He nodded back at me, took the money, handed me the tickets, and escorted me home like a true gentleman.

- Loren ;*

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