A tribute to a man.
Buffy Summers stood silently in the cemetery dressed from head to toe in black. She stared down at the headstone with tears running down her face. They had had Anya's funeral the week before. Today was for Spike. The didn't have his ashes or his body, but Buffy insisted on a funeral for the wonderful man that changed their lives. Xander approached her and put an arm around her. He missed her so much. The rest of the Scoobies had decided to move to Cleveland to train new slayers. But Buffy refused. She stayed in L.A. She was no longer the only Slayer after all. For right now, they could manage without her. However, they all came to visit shortly for the funerals.
"Buffy? Would you like to say something for Spike?"
Buffy looked at him in almost shock. "Xander you..." she paused to wipe the tear tracks off her cheeks, "You hated Spike."
Xander looked at the ground, "Yeah I did. But he did so much for all of us. We should say something for him...like a tribute. And you really are the only one for the job." He smiled encouragingly.
Buffy smiled back weakly and nodded.
She cleared her throat and said it a load, somewhat shaky voice, "Can I please have everyone's attention?!"
Many familiar heads swung in her direction(some human, some, not so much), including Clem's, who had Buffy could of sworn had evidence of tear tracks on the flaps of his demon features.
"I would like to give a tribute to Spike. He is in all of our hearts." She paused to sadly smile at Xander, "But mine especially. This is going to be the most painful thing I've ever done, and, believe me, there is competition." Clem let out a feeble chuckle.
Buffy sniffled and continued, "Spike loved me. He did a lot for me, and for Dawn,"out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw her sister sobbing on Willow's shoulder, "So I think it's time I tell everyone about how I feel about Spike."
She paused to think what Spike would be doing if this we her funeral. To everyone's surprise she let out a small giggle. She quickly explained what she was thinking aloud.
"Spike...he always had a way with words...if it were me that was...well, if it were my funeral and he was speaking, it would be easy for him to express what he was feeling. In the smallest detail. Like I said, He always had a way with words. Me- not so much. For instance, he never knew...I never told him that I-"she choked on her last words, unable to continue, silent tears made their way down her cheeks, which were now red and sore from all the crying she had been constantly doing these past weeks.
She took a deep breath and carried on.
"I love him. I really do. I love him more than I thought it was possible for me to love anybody, even Angel. I love him in the way you read in romance novels. The wild, dangerous, intense, burning kind of love that most women dream about having. But I had it. And it terrified me. It terrified me that he loved me so much, that he would die for me, that he could make everything feel better with a single touch. But most of all, it terrified me that I felt the exact same way. Which is why I denied it for so long. But now I want everyone to know. I love him; mind, body, and soul."
She sniffed again.
"I realize everything I am saying should be past tense, because he is gone. But truly he will never be gone. He will never leave me. He wasn't like all the other men in my life. He was always there. He was as annoying as hell, but still there. I chased him out of this town 4 times, but he always came back. Not like my dad-He didn't leave me and my mom when I we needed him, Not Angel-he didn't leave me so I could have a normal life, and not like Riley-he didn't leave me because he didn't feel like I needed him. That's another thing about Spike; He understood my strength. My need to be in the lead. And he understood my weaknesses as well. We were equal in strength; I never had to hold back when we fought. I never told anyone this, but I hated that chip. I hated it because I couldn't fight with him. The stupid initiative made him weak. Made him change hi entire life just so they could probe him with tweezers and do experiments on him. Stupid army people! Anyway, back to what I was saying- Oh yeah..."
She cleared her throat and continued, "The thing that I loved most about him was that he didn't spit me into pieces. The others all did. My dad, Giles, my friends, my mom, Angel. Riley. But he saw all of me; The Slayer. The lost little girl. The woman. Angel saw me as the little girl that depended on him to teach her the ways of life. My mom saw the little girl she had to take care of, same with my dad. Giles saw me as part Slayer, part daughter. My friends...well they saw me as their protector, their leader. Riley... well he was the worst. He saw me as the woman. He was determined to be the gentleman and let me be the normal girl I wanted so desperately to be. But he also wanted me to be strong. Be the Slayer. Yet he was afraid of my strength. Ironic, huh? But Spike... he saw me as...me. He saw me as Buffy. Let me be in control when I needed it, but he held me when I felt insecure and weak. Yet still I pushed him away. When all he tried to was be there for me."
"He died to save the world, and me. He sacrificed his heart, his mind, and his life and I never let myself see him as anything more than a soulless vampire. I told myself that he was a disgusting thing who didn't have feelings and couldn't possibly love anyone but himself. I believed that lie for so long. That he was beneath me, a monster." She was crying fully now, unable to hold it in.
"But he is so much more. He is a man. A truly wonderful, loving, caring, beautiful man. I think deep down he always was, even before he got his soul back, despite the demon raging inside him. Deep down, he never lost his soul."
"He was, and always will be, my William. He tried his hardest to be a better man, and he is. I believe in him. I trust him with my life and so much more. My friends left to live lives of their own. To move on without me. To let me live in peace. Alone. Only I never will be alone, He is always right there with me. And I will always love him. God, I love him so much." She choked out a final sob and turned to run out of the cemetery, aware that all eyes were on her. But she had to get out of there. Had to get away from the dependent gazes of her friends. The sad, yet somewhat angry, look of her sister. Just away. She ran towards a crypt she had passed many times when she patrolled. It looked strangely like Spike's, But the arms she needed to hold her were not there when she arrived. As she had been running out of the cemetery, she never saw the black-clad figure standing in the shadows.
TBC in a sequel called "A Way With Words"
A/n: Yes, there will be a sequal. Be patient. I changed this fic a little since some of you might of read it so review and tell me what ya think! And give me some suggestions for the sequal. Hint: yes spike will come back in it. Of course. Go read it and see what I got so far! Its called "A way with words" ~ Alise
-For Spike. You will never truly be gone. You will always live in our hearts. William "Spike" 1880-2003
Buffy Summers stood silently in the cemetery dressed from head to toe in black. She stared down at the headstone with tears running down her face. They had had Anya's funeral the week before. Today was for Spike. The didn't have his ashes or his body, but Buffy insisted on a funeral for the wonderful man that changed their lives. Xander approached her and put an arm around her. He missed her so much. The rest of the Scoobies had decided to move to Cleveland to train new slayers. But Buffy refused. She stayed in L.A. She was no longer the only Slayer after all. For right now, they could manage without her. However, they all came to visit shortly for the funerals.
"Buffy? Would you like to say something for Spike?"
Buffy looked at him in almost shock. "Xander you..." she paused to wipe the tear tracks off her cheeks, "You hated Spike."
Xander looked at the ground, "Yeah I did. But he did so much for all of us. We should say something for him...like a tribute. And you really are the only one for the job." He smiled encouragingly.
Buffy smiled back weakly and nodded.
She cleared her throat and said it a load, somewhat shaky voice, "Can I please have everyone's attention?!"
Many familiar heads swung in her direction(some human, some, not so much), including Clem's, who had Buffy could of sworn had evidence of tear tracks on the flaps of his demon features.
"I would like to give a tribute to Spike. He is in all of our hearts." She paused to sadly smile at Xander, "But mine especially. This is going to be the most painful thing I've ever done, and, believe me, there is competition." Clem let out a feeble chuckle.
Buffy sniffled and continued, "Spike loved me. He did a lot for me, and for Dawn,"out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw her sister sobbing on Willow's shoulder, "So I think it's time I tell everyone about how I feel about Spike."
She paused to think what Spike would be doing if this we her funeral. To everyone's surprise she let out a small giggle. She quickly explained what she was thinking aloud.
"Spike...he always had a way with words...if it were me that was...well, if it were my funeral and he was speaking, it would be easy for him to express what he was feeling. In the smallest detail. Like I said, He always had a way with words. Me- not so much. For instance, he never knew...I never told him that I-"she choked on her last words, unable to continue, silent tears made their way down her cheeks, which were now red and sore from all the crying she had been constantly doing these past weeks.
She took a deep breath and carried on.
"I love him. I really do. I love him more than I thought it was possible for me to love anybody, even Angel. I love him in the way you read in romance novels. The wild, dangerous, intense, burning kind of love that most women dream about having. But I had it. And it terrified me. It terrified me that he loved me so much, that he would die for me, that he could make everything feel better with a single touch. But most of all, it terrified me that I felt the exact same way. Which is why I denied it for so long. But now I want everyone to know. I love him; mind, body, and soul."
She sniffed again.
"I realize everything I am saying should be past tense, because he is gone. But truly he will never be gone. He will never leave me. He wasn't like all the other men in my life. He was always there. He was as annoying as hell, but still there. I chased him out of this town 4 times, but he always came back. Not like my dad-He didn't leave me and my mom when I we needed him, Not Angel-he didn't leave me so I could have a normal life, and not like Riley-he didn't leave me because he didn't feel like I needed him. That's another thing about Spike; He understood my strength. My need to be in the lead. And he understood my weaknesses as well. We were equal in strength; I never had to hold back when we fought. I never told anyone this, but I hated that chip. I hated it because I couldn't fight with him. The stupid initiative made him weak. Made him change hi entire life just so they could probe him with tweezers and do experiments on him. Stupid army people! Anyway, back to what I was saying- Oh yeah..."
She cleared her throat and continued, "The thing that I loved most about him was that he didn't spit me into pieces. The others all did. My dad, Giles, my friends, my mom, Angel. Riley. But he saw all of me; The Slayer. The lost little girl. The woman. Angel saw me as the little girl that depended on him to teach her the ways of life. My mom saw the little girl she had to take care of, same with my dad. Giles saw me as part Slayer, part daughter. My friends...well they saw me as their protector, their leader. Riley... well he was the worst. He saw me as the woman. He was determined to be the gentleman and let me be the normal girl I wanted so desperately to be. But he also wanted me to be strong. Be the Slayer. Yet he was afraid of my strength. Ironic, huh? But Spike... he saw me as...me. He saw me as Buffy. Let me be in control when I needed it, but he held me when I felt insecure and weak. Yet still I pushed him away. When all he tried to was be there for me."
"He died to save the world, and me. He sacrificed his heart, his mind, and his life and I never let myself see him as anything more than a soulless vampire. I told myself that he was a disgusting thing who didn't have feelings and couldn't possibly love anyone but himself. I believed that lie for so long. That he was beneath me, a monster." She was crying fully now, unable to hold it in.
"But he is so much more. He is a man. A truly wonderful, loving, caring, beautiful man. I think deep down he always was, even before he got his soul back, despite the demon raging inside him. Deep down, he never lost his soul."
"He was, and always will be, my William. He tried his hardest to be a better man, and he is. I believe in him. I trust him with my life and so much more. My friends left to live lives of their own. To move on without me. To let me live in peace. Alone. Only I never will be alone, He is always right there with me. And I will always love him. God, I love him so much." She choked out a final sob and turned to run out of the cemetery, aware that all eyes were on her. But she had to get out of there. Had to get away from the dependent gazes of her friends. The sad, yet somewhat angry, look of her sister. Just away. She ran towards a crypt she had passed many times when she patrolled. It looked strangely like Spike's, But the arms she needed to hold her were not there when she arrived. As she had been running out of the cemetery, she never saw the black-clad figure standing in the shadows.
TBC in a sequel called "A Way With Words"
A/n: Yes, there will be a sequal. Be patient. I changed this fic a little since some of you might of read it so review and tell me what ya think! And give me some suggestions for the sequal. Hint: yes spike will come back in it. Of course. Go read it and see what I got so far! Its called "A way with words" ~ Alise
-For Spike. You will never truly be gone. You will always live in our hearts. William "Spike" 1880-2003
