A/N- Thanks for the reviews everyone! Oh, and to the reviewer who said that it seemed out of character for Jack to agree to the little Q&A with Nina, I figured that Jack has proved countless times in the past that he will do ANYTHING where his family's involved. If Nina can help save Kim, Jack would pretty much go along with anything. So that was my explanation- take it or leave it.

Disclaimer- All things 24 belong to Fox. The song lyrics belong to Story of the Year, and the song is "Until the Day I Die", an awesome song I will most likely be referencing often throughout this fanfic.

Counting the Cost

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Chapter Four

Remember When

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*my hands are at your throat and I think I hate you

but then we'll say "remember when?" just like we always do*



Jack looked at Nina in shock. He swallowed hard, shocked at how suddenly vulnerable she was making herself.



"Answer me, Jack." She broke the silence.



"I'm surprised you even care about the reasons." He finally replied.



"Oh, really?" Nina laughed harshly.



"Yes. When I…ended things with you, I don't know what I thought you would do, but you just nodding and walking out of my apartment was definitely not what I was expecting. The next day at work you acted like nothing had ever been different between us. What was I supposed to think?"



"You don't think I cared at all? Seven years of being friends and you don't think you mattered to me?" Nina looked at him with disbelief.



"No…I mean, I figured you just counted it as some meaningless fling that seems to happen every time men and women try to be friends."



Nina met his gaze unblinkingly.



"Well, I didn't. Now answer the damn question."



"I went back to Teri because…isn't it obvious, Nina? We had Kim, we were still married…"



"Stop stalling. Tell me the real reason."



"I'm not stalling! It didn't have anything to do with you." Jack said, getting angry.



"So I was just some distraction to screw while you waited for your wife to forgive you?" Nina's green eyes glinted slightly with rage.



"No."



"Then what, Jack? What was that? Why did you even start anything between us if you knew all along you were going to leave me?" Nina's voice broke slightly.

It didn't sound like she was going to cry-it just sounded like for the first time in years, she was tapping into some emotional chasm buried for so long under a diamond-hard exterior, and it was hitting her a lot harder than she thought it would.

Jack looked at her for a long time before speaking.

"Because I wanted you. I wanted it to happen. I didn't really think about the consequences. And I definitely didn't think it actually mattered to you."

"Oh, I'm just the office whore, right? Go ahead! She has no feelings! She won't care if you never call or if you go back to your shrill, obnoxious wife, as long as you make out with her in an empty conference room every once in awhile, right? Wow, Jack. You really make a girl feel loved."

"Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?"

"Why would I? So you could pat me on the head and feel sorry for me and the whole office would think I was Jack's little bitch? No, thanks."

"Nina-"

"Forget it. I'm sick of trying to let myself believe a word you say. Just drop it."

But Jack couldn't drop it. He looked at her with stunned realization.

"Nina- were you…in love with me?"

"Is that your question you want me to answer?"

"One of them."

Nina, regaining her composure, smiled that same, smirking grin again.

"Pick your favorite."

Jack thought for a long moment.

"All right-what made you do this? What made you betray CTU?"

Nina's smile grew. That question was easy.

"Bored and under appreciated, Jack. It can make a girl crazy."

"That's all. That's all it took to make you forsake everything…the country you were raised in? That you swore to protect?"

"Oh, Jack, you're breaking my heart. Yes. That's all it took."

"But what about the people? You betrayed all of us..."

"What you're really asking is why I betrayed you, yes?"

"No, I'm not just talking ab-"

"Yes, you are."

"Fine. Why did you betray me?"

Nina met Jack's eyes, commencing a stare down that lasted for what seemed like an eternity.

"I bet you're just praying I say it's because I was so in love with you that when you left me, it made me go crazy. That puts you back in control, and makes me play the pathetic idiot. Again."

"Why did you betray me?" Jack repeated.

The computer beeped then, signaling a new incoming message.

"Oh no, Jack. I guess this will just have to wait." Nina looked at him coolly, opening the laptop.

Jack came to look over her shoulder, as she pulled up the message from Amador.



They both read it quickly; then looked at each other.



"We'll leave tomorrow for England. I need to go get my passport, book the flight, and pack some clothes." Jack said, grabbing his jacket and going to leave.



"Jack-while you're at it, grab me some clothes please?"



"From where?"



"I don't know, Jack, get creative. Kim's closet. Whatever. I don't care."



"I'm not giving you my daughter's clothes."



"Well, if you don't, she might not be needing them long." Nina challenged.



Jack sighed.



"I'll be here in the morning," Nina looked at him expectantly, "…with clothes for you."



"Good. Drive safely." Nina stretched back out on the bed as he left.



As the door slammed behind him, she turned off the lamp, feeling suddenly very listless and upset. What a bastard. George and Roberta had been right. She had been an idiot for getting involved with him, and it made her hate herself to remember how completely beleaguered with her feelings she'd been, though she managed to play it off quite convincingly, apparently.

She closed her eyes against the darkness, remembering the day between them that had changed everything. It seemed impossibly far away from her now, but as the memories rushed back, the feelings she had felt then bombarded her once again.

***five years ago…***



"Oh, I just love meetings like that. You're all worthless agents, you should all be fired for your incompetence, but…please help us?" Nina said, in a very funny impression of Chapelle, as she and Jack walked to their cars after work.



Jack didn't say anything, looking lost in thought.



"Jack? What is wrong with you today?" She looked at him, concerned.



"What? Oh, nothing. Just family stuff…you know how it is."



"No, actually I don't." Nina said a little coldly.



"I'm sorry, Nina. It's just…Teri and I…" Jack ran a hand through his blond hair, shaking his head.



Nina waited.



"Uh, Jack? Was that story over?" She smiled, trying to lighten the mood.



"No, no, it's just…a long, uninteresting story. We're kind of separated right now…I think she wants a divorce…it's just a mess." Jack closed his eyes, looking exhausted.



"Sounds like it." Nina said sympathetically, as they reached their parking spaces.



"Trust me, don't get married, Nina. Just…don't do it." Jack looked at her, smiling slightly.



"Well, I don't know about never." Nina smiled back.



"Just be like a female Hugh Hefner-you'll be glad you avoided commitment." Jack advised.



"Isn't he married?" Nina pointed out.



"Well, just ruin my anecdote then." Jack laughed.

Nina grinned back, and then it fell silent between them. They looked at each other, their smiles slowly fading. Suddenly, a thick, heavy tension permeated the windy Los Angeles night they were standing in.

Nina had wanted him for years, but looking at him now, it seemed as if he wanted her too. She knew he was lonely…she knew he was desperate…but when he throatily whispered her name, moving towards her slightly, she really didn't care.

She leaned towards him, meeting his lips tentatively. But Jack wasn't really a tentative kind of guy. He kissed her back with a sudden, shocking intensity, one hand sliding up her back, one hand in her hair. Nina knew this would change everything; knew she'd probably regret this later, but as her mouth parted under his, she was finding it very hard to really care about anything but how it felt as he kissed her more passionately than she'd ever imagined in all her secret fantasies about him.

Nina was finding it very difficult not to just rip his shirt off right there in the CTU parking lot, so she pulled away with a deep, shaky breath.

"Jack, are you sure about this?" She barely managed to say.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked in his raspy, growling voice that right now almost sounded animalistic and also very hot.

Nina smiled as he began to kiss her neck, his shoulder muscles strong against the palms of her hands.

"What do you think?" She whispered.

***



Nina sat alone in the hotel room, lost in remembrance. Nothing had ever compared to what they had. Not to her. And nothing ever would.

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A/N- Please review! Chapter 5 will be out shortly!