Chapter 4: Play By The Rules
"All right, I'm here, come on, let's go, let's play!" Northstar blurred into the group and started tapping his foot irritably. "Come on already, I'm getting bored."
Kitty started again. "This is your opponent? Great…"
"Enough chatting, I'm here to play tennis." Northstar twitched his bright yellow racquet viciously at Nightcrawler, exhaling quickly, conveying a sense of impatience.
Kurt glared sarcastically. "I had time to blink before you got here. That must mean you're late."
"Not as late as you'll be if you don't start playing. Okay, time's up. I'm starting without you."
Jean-Paul charged over to the nearest court, produced a ball from seemingly nowhere and started playing… both sides of the court. The play became so quick the rest of the X-Men didn't bother to turn their heads back and forth to follow.
BOOOM!
BOOOM!
BOOOM!
BOOOM!
The sounds didn't keep up with the actions on the court. Northstar's familiar blurry form shot back and forth a few more times before stopping abruptly. "Haha!" He declared. "I won!" Just as suddenly as the rapid game had ceased, it started up again.
BOOOM!
BOOOM!
"Did he just say he won?" Beast looked disgusted. "How can you win against yourself?"
Nightcrawler shrugged. "How can you lose? If you ask me, it's brilliant."
BAMF!
Nightcrawler teleported to Northstar's court and started his own game, BAMFing from one side of the court to the other to return the volleys. The two solo-players somehow timed their hits so they occupied opposite sides of the court at all times.
Ororo looked dismayed. "There should be competition in sports. This is sad."
BAMF!
BOOOM!
BAMF!
BOOOM!
BAMF!
There was an unusual screeching sound, like someone slamming on the brakes of a car, and then all was silent except for the sound of two tennis balls bouncing away, and two racquets clanking onto the court.
"That must of hurt." Kitty held her head as though she had been part of the collision.
Northstar and Nightcrawler were both flat on their backs after an unfortunate crash. Kurt groaned quietly as Jean-Paul leapt to his feet, glaring ruthlessly.
"Why don't you watch where you're going?" He sputtered in his fast speech. "You ruined my whole game and now because of you I lost! Go away, get lost, leave me alone, shoo!"
Nightcrawler sat up, massaging the back of his neck with a strange expression. "I've been getting a lot of that 'shoo' business lately. You should watch where you're going sometimes… if I had teleported on to you…"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You're always moaning about how you could accidentally teleport into something and die an agonizing death. Blah, blah, blah. That's not how you play tennis, anyway. It should be about skill, not super powers."
Kurt was back on his feet, groping for the fallen racquet with his tail. "What? You were using your powers."
Northstar made a super fast gesture, so it was unclear what it was meant to convey. "I was not. I couldn't move as slowly as you if I tried! I was moving at a perfectly natural speed for me!"
"That's your mutant power, though…"
"It's different. You shouldn't be allowed to teleport while playing. Now if you excuse me, I'd like to get back to my game."
"Wait! What about our match?" Kurt held up his racquet.
"You cheat."
"Now just hang on a sec-"
"Nope. Seconds take too long." Northstar had already zoomed along to the other side of the court, serving suddenly.
"Uh… comrade Kurt, look out!" Colossus warned from the adjacent court.
Nightcrawler looked stunned at the cheating accusation and never saw the serve coming. It hit him squarely on the forehead, knocking him to the ground again.
"Get out of the way!" Jean-Paul complained, shaking a fist. "You keep making me LOSE!"
"What seems to be the trouble?" A calm voice interrupted the hectic scene. Everybody turned to see Professor X approaching in his wheelchair.
"Nothing Professor," Kurt said flatly from the ground. "I just think I chipped a fang, that's all."
Professor X nodded approvingly. "Of course! Isn't tennis wonderful?"
Northstar was pacing, muttering loudly. "Yeah, sure… if certain people didn't CHEAT! Plus take naps on the court." He stopped walking back and forth and put his hands around his mouth. "Get out of the way!"
The other court had abandoned its lessons to stare at the drama next door. Expressions ranged from Ororo's distasteful grimace, to Kitty's insensitive chuckle.
"There seems to be a rules discrepancy in their case." Hank informed the professor with an official tone. "I've never heard of any rules pertaining to mutant abilities, so…"
"Professor," Jean-Paul was suddenly beside the wheelchair, joining the conversation as though it was his turn to speak. "Using powers on the court should be illegal, don't you think? Well!?"
Professor Xavier opened his mouth importantly, preparing a lecture regarding mutant tolerance and fair play, but before any sounds got out-
BAMF!
"No! That's not fair! Northstar was using his super-speed powers! How is teleporting any different?" Nightcrawler argued the point as though he expected to lose.
Xavier nodded thoughtfully, taking both of his students' viewpoints into consideration. He looked skyward, pondering.
"Hey! Did you fall asleep or something?" Jean-Paul demanded after about three seconds. "Kick this guy out for cheating, already!"
The professor raised an eyebrow at the impatient outburst, and again opened his mouth to say something most valuable, but-
"Well!?" Northstar asked, wide-eyed.
"If you would stop interrupting," Kurt snarled. "Maybe he would clear this all up."
Xavier smiled appreciatively, beginning to thank Nightcrawler when-
"He's taking forever!"
Kurt made a threatening, throat cutting gesture. Shadowcat could be heard gulping all the way from the other court, even though the hostility wasn't directed at her.
"As I was saying!" Professor X finally began. "I think our rule books will have to be changed in order to clarify this situation."
Northstar looked seriously dismayed. "That's bound to take forever!"
Xavier looked to both players before he felt confident to continue without interruption. "As Jean-Paul clearly points out, his powers are automatic, and it's unfair to suggest he 'turn them off.' "
Every mutant besides Nightcrawler nodded in agreement with the fact. After all, what were the X-men about if not tolerance, fairness, and freedom to behave as an individual?
"I guess… that's right." Kurt conformed, regretfully.
"On the other hand," Xavier looked at the demonic mutant inspiringly. "How can it be called fair if we allow one's powers, but nobody else's, automatic or not?"
Storm glided to join the discussion. "Some of us would be at an extreme disadvantage. Not all powers are created equally."
"They are in this case." The Professor indicated the squabbling players. "If you're here for a challenge, Jean-Paul, I believe you'll have to be more open minded."
"Why?" Northstar asked.
"Because," Xavier explained in a nurturing way. "Unless you truly enjoy playing alone, Kurt is the only one who can keep up with you. And he has to teleport to do that."
"But that's cheating!"
"No it isn't. It's a fair match."
Relief spread across Nightcrawler's face. "It's true. I never cheat."
Professor X smiled hopefully at the fuming Jean-Paul. "I cannot make you accept this match, Northstar. I suggest you do, though. As Ororo pointed out, this is an excellent training opportunity."
Northstar's face reddened for what must have seemed an eternity of inaction for him. He finally held out his hand, acceptingly. "May the fastest mutant win, then."
"Sounds like fun." Kurt agreed, shaking the hand firmly.
