Ahh! Yes! A nice, loooooong chapter to make up how sorry I am to you readers about how long it took me to update this story! Hopefully, this will do it justice. All good things come to an end, and I hope my story is pretty good. But anyway, I'm sorry to say that this story only has a few more chapters until it is done. *sniff*

The stars around the word(s) (whatever they call them) are italics...my word document doesn't let them show on FF for some reason. I could use a different word doc. But I'm lazy *wink*.

Chapter 23: The Agony of Heartbreak

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"Hermione? Hermione, wake up! Come on, Hermione," Harry called for her and he lifted her up. Slowly she woke up and when she regained her senses she burst out in tears again. Harry looked up from the group of students who had come up to see what happened and pulled her up on her feet.

"H-harry, let me explain..." Hermione whispered faintly and she pulled him away from the cluster of curious boys. He guided her down the stairs and she stopped midway when her eyesight went out of focus. Her head throbbed from the pain she felt only minutes ago and her knees almost buckled. She forced herself to walk down and stumbled towards the portrait out of the common room light-headedly.

They climbed out and when the portrait closed (the fat lady was gone from her frame), she slid down the wall to the cold floor and buried her eyes in her hand. Harry kneeled down in front of her and looked down the dark corridors. Empty.

"Hermione," Harry whispered, even though no one was listening, "What happened? I don't understand. I came in and you were writhing on the floor...please, I need to know!" He pleaded and he ran his hand though his hair.

She turned to him, her eyes shining with foreboding tears and she dreaded how he would react, "Harry, promise me you won't hate me, please. It'll kill me inside...b-but I wouldn't blame you if you do. I'm so sorry!" She cried and she took his glasses off his face. "I don't know what drove me to do it. If it was the impulse to know everything about you or my argument with Ron, I don't know, I don't know! B-but here, I'll tell you everything." Her breath shuddered and tears finally spilled down her face.

She gave a short laugh, but it seems emotionless and cold, "You'll probably think I'm crazy." She took her wand out of her school cloak and set it on her lap with his glasses. "It's a spell I learned in detention nearly, I don't know, three months ago and never thought twice about it. Until I saw your glasses in the room upstairs and everything me and Ron fought about kept repeating in my mind." She paused and Harry kept quiet to listen, "He said I didn't know you as well as I thought I did and how you were different from the Harry I thought you were. And of course, I didn't believe him...because I know we know each other so well. So when those arguments kept haunting me tonight, that spell came to mind."

Her lip quivered and she shivered, from the cold of the tile and the dread growing in her mind, "Harry..." She whispered and she clenched her teeth in pain, "I looked into your memories. Only for a bit, but I saw enough. I'm so sorry, I never knew. I-I just, I wish I hadn't! I feel so awful that I could...I don't know. I don't know anymore."

Harry looked down hard for a long time and when he looked back up, his eyes were blank and empty of any emotion, "What did you see?" He asked clearly and his voice echoed down the hall.

Her cheeks burned and she wiped her hot tears away, "Things, things I didn't w-want to see. Things I never knew you had seen. Old memories with the Dursleys, our second year...C-Cedric..." She paused and threw her head down in her lap and her voice was muffled but was as strong as ever, "Sirius, I saw him. Something I never thought I would see again. B-b-but then I tried to stop and *he* took hold of me and I couldn't move, or think, or escape!" She pleaded shamefully and she looked up.

"I couldn't understand what he said and my head was splitting from the horrible pain. I don't know why I did it. I never want to hurt you, Harry, but I did! I don't know wh-what to say," She said and she looked at his eyes and gave his glasses back in an awkward silence.

They sat there in the dark and Harry looked down at particularly nothing, his face was motionless and pale in the dim moonlight that shone through the windows. The utter stillness killed Hermione; she wanted him to say something, anything. But he sat like a statue of stone, thinking over everything.

The clock chimed eleven times and rang down the halls. Harry finally tilted his head up and searched Hermione's face. "Hermione, there is a reason I don't mention things like this to you because-because I know you would pity me, like everyone else does. But I don't want to be pitied by you or anyone. Hermione, there are things I don't want you to know, at all about me, no matter how close we get. I wish you hadn't seen those." He said finally and Hermione stubbornly leaned forward.

"And why not? I understand we keep our secrets, but why can't I know? Harry, you know I love you and I'll understand everything if you give me a chance! I have nothing to hide! Why can't you see I'm trying to be here for you?" She asked and he looked at her as his face grimaced into an irritated stare.

"I knew this would happen! See, you've already started! You pity me! You want to understand so you can pity me when you think I need a shoulder to cry on! But I don't need you to pity me, Hermione, especially you," He argued but Hermione snapped back, not angrily but in protest.

"Harry! Why can't you come to the fact that you can't keep everything in! That's what I'm trying to tell you, you can't hide your feelings forever. You'll tear yourself up inside, and that's the only reason I want to know." Hermione said and Harry got to his feet.

For the first time, his voice cracked and his eyes stung with tears, "So you want to know something about me? Something you didn't already see in your spell? That prophecy, Hermione, has the possible answer to my life or death. In the end, either Voldemort or I will end up dead. That's all it, that's what I've been trying to keep from everyone. Now that you know..." He said and his face screwed up in complete pain, "I can't be with you. I'm sorry, Hermione, but I can't be with the ones I love if I end up hurting them in the end. You might as well forget and get over me, because I don't want you to get any closer to me, Hermione. I love you too much to have you suffer if anything does happen to me. Goodnight, Hermione----goodbye."

He brought her to her feet, but she turned her head sobbing and choking, "Harry, no, no, no...I can't forget you. No, p-please, I can't leave you!" She cried as she suffocated on her tears. She couldn't believe him, she wouldn't believe him! But as much as she tried to tell herself these lies, the truth of the prophecy kept coming back. A tear rolled down Harry's face as he turned her head towards him. "B-But what if everything turns for the good? What if he is defeated and all that time we could have been together?" She asked hopefully and he held her face. He kissed the corner of her eye and took one last look into her deep eyes.

"Then it will be too late for us," He said and he climbed through the portrait hole. The room was quiet and empty and Harry kneeled in front of the dying fire. He cried silently as the tears dried from the heat of the flames and he made his way up to his bed. The void in his heart ached and he choked his pain down. Half of him couldn't believe he had said goodbye to Hermione's love forever and the other half tried to reassure him that it was the right thing to do, although he could not see the reason now.

He lay awake in bed remembering her kisses and sweet face and the feeling of her in his arms. Never again would he feel this again from her or anyone. He had to be alone; this had been decided ever since he was born.

Hermione slumped back to the floor, her mind blank of everything. It was over, the happiness and comfort she had felt in her heart for Harry was gone and it left her passionless and naked. Her tears rolled down her neck and hit the floor as she kept her head down against the cold floor. She had nothing to look forward to the next day in her life, and the tomorrows after every tomorrow. Harry was always there for her and with him gone, she felt like there was no one who could share the feelings she had. The haunting thought of him dead wrapped around her chest and left her drowning in her own agony.

*'*'*'*'*

The days buzzed by Hermione's eyes to the point where she would forget what class she was walking to or who was talking in front of her. Her temperament grew short and she snapped or ignored anyone who bothered to talk to her. The magic world and school didn't matter anymore and every chance she got to be alone, she would cry or try to forget her troubles by sleep.

Ron and Lavender noticed this change and didn't dare to ask. They were scared to ask, fearing she might do something drastic. But she wasn't suicidal at all, just lost. Ron noticed a change in Harry as well. He avoided everyone and everything and said nothing to no one unless he had to respond in class; but even his responses was cold and careless. Ron tried to talk to him, but he gave obvious answers with either a 'yes' or 'no'. Rumors grew that something had happened between them, obviously, and through their eyes they could see who was taking the blow harder: Hermione. If they only knew Harry had been taking it just as hard.

Reviews for the finals for the end of the year poured in even heavier and Hermione busied herself with work, trying to forget everything but the history in her books. She worked in the common room as usual, but by herself. Ron and Lavender would sit nearby and do their work, keeping an eye on Hermione incase she would burst into tears.

The end of their sixth year was coming up soon and the common room and library filled up with more study groups by the day. Ron and Lavender asked Hermione to come study and she gave in without a word. Harry studied by himself.

One day in early May came and the clear sky shone through the open windows. During their lunch break, Ron, Lavender, and Hermione decided to do extra studying (something Lavender dragged Ron into). The library was quiet as always and Harry was in there as well, mindlessly searching for books.

Newspaper piles were stacked on the table and Lavender picked one up while they read about witches in the late 1800's. "I can't believe this. Look, it gets worse every week." She showed Ron the front page and he faced it head- down. "When will they catch these guys?" He sighed disturbed and Hermione picked it up.

It was another front-page article on the attacks of muggle-borns. The attackers were still anonymous, and it stated that they were most likely servants to the Dark Lord or purebloods of some type. Hermione threw it down and cried, "How can people do this to other people! Kill others because they are not the same?! Imagine what this does to the people who survive the attacks, the people who loved the person who is killed!" It was the most anyone had heard her say in a long time and she stood up to leave. She spotted Harry across the library and they looked almost longingly into each other's eyes. Then a sharp pain hit her chest and she said, "It leaves them alone...afraid to do anything."

She left, knocking a chair in her way and Harry watched her leave. Ron looked over to him and Harry quickly put the book back on the shelf and disappeared to another side of the library, his chest throbbing with the familiar feeling of suffering and heartbreak. Madam Pince stormed over in a huff to the fallen chair and said loudly, "How many times do I need to tell you children that this is a library!!"

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Reviews are welcome with holiday cookies! Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwansza/any other holiday you celebrate and a happy New Year! Geez, 2004! Can you believe it?