A/N- Thanks again guys! Usual disclaimers apply- the lyrics are from "More Love" from the Dixie Chicks. Don't you love my schizo my music is? Enjoy the chapter!
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Eight
So Much to Say
~*~
**I'm so close to you baby but I'm so far away
There's a silence between us and there's so much to say
You're my strength; you're my weakness
You're my faith; you're my doubt
We've gotta meet in the middle to work this thing out**
~*~
Jack nearly dropped the phone in shock. Barely recovering, he found his voice again.
"Please…please, tell me you're joking." He said chokingly.
Nina sighed heavily.
"Yes, Jack, you caught me. Wasn't that hilarious? Of course I'm not joking!" She said angrily.
"But how…how can you be pregnant?" He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, feeling a migraine coming on.
"Well, Jack, it all begins when a man and a woman love each other very much-" Nina explained as if reading from a textbook.
"Damn it, Nina! This is serious!"
"Well, you kind of set me up for that one though."
Jack stood up, starting to pace.
"How do you even know it's mine?"
"You don't think I found that out? It's yours."
"What are you going to do?" He asked, totally at a loss himself.
"That's why I think we need to talk about this."
"When?"
"Whenever you can get out for awhile without Kim noticing."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm in Los Angeles. I'll go back to that same hotel as before, we'll talk there."
"All right. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Fine."
Nina hung up, and Jack was left holding the phone and about to crush it like a soda can out of pure frustration. How could this be possible? Had he accidentally stumbled into the soap opera from hell? The woman who killed his wife was pregnant with his child. He could kill himself for making the kind of mistake he'd made. Had he lost his mind? Sleeping with Nina? It was just now sinking in how crazy that had been. This seemed like payback for being such an idiot.
He left Kim a quickly scrawled note with some lame excuse, grabbed his coat, and left.
~*~
Jack walked up to the now familiar hotel room door, feeling sick to his stomach. He still couldn't believe this was happening. He was praying that he'd open the door, and she'd be smiling that same devious smile and announce she was only kidding.
He wouldn't even be angry. He'd probably hug her.
Jack knocked three times, shivering slightly. It was cold tonight, for Los Angeles anyway. She opened the door, looking pale and exhausted. She was wearing one of Kim's sweaters, a light blue turtleneck, and jeans. She looked very different from usual, even from her joking attitude when she had talked to him on the phone moments before. She usually greeted him at the door in all black, smiling like she knew something he didn't.
Now Nina looked frightened and as if she was just as confused as he was, like the magnitude of what was happening had just hit her. Jack found her upset expression to be very disconcerting.
"Come in." She said emotionlessly, turning around and sitting in the hotel chair with her knees pulled up to her chest.
"Nina-" He said somewhat gently.
"Forget it, Jack. Don't apologize. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. You always take the blame for everything."
"What do you want to do about this?"
"I don't know." She said irritably.
"Well, you basically have two options. Keep the baby…or don't." He said in the same soft voice.
"I don't want to-- terminate it." She said, looking up at him.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked.
"Yes! Damn it, Jack, it's your kid too! Or does that even matter to you? What, like it's mine, and that makes it tainted, so you don't care if it lives or dies?" Nina was practically shouting.
"Nina, calm down. I didn't say that."
"I know you didn't say it, but that's what you meant, right? You want me to get rid of it, so you don't have to DEAL with me! You know I'm right!" Nina glared at him, her words harsh with sadness.
"Nina, whatever you want to do-"
"Bullsh**, Jack! Since when do you care about me?"
Jack looked down. She obviously was not going to be very rational about this. And he had absolutely no idea what to do with this situation.
"Nina," he began softly, "tell me what you want me to do."
"I'm not killing this baby." She said, looking at him with all seriousness, for once not a single sardonic note to her voice.
"That's fine."
"I don't even know why I told you." She sighed heavily.
"Because raising a kid alone is a pretty daunting prospect, even for a criminal mastermind." Jack pointed out.
"What? Like you're going to help me? Like we'll be just one big happy family? Yeah, right." Nina laughed callously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Nina, what's in our past has nothing to do with this. Like you said, it's half-mine. I can't just abandon you."
"Sure you can." Nina said pragmatically.
"Well, I'm not going to." Jack said, meeting her green eyes in the dimly lit hotel room.
"Who knew that getting knocked up was the only way to make you a decent guy?" Nina smiled slightly.
Jack sighed, looking away.
"I'm kidding, Jack. Calm yourself." Nina sat up, rapidly switching back into her old persona.
It made Jack a lot more comfortable to see her usual veiled indifference staring back at him instead shocking vulnerability.
"All right. Well, I'll give you a call when the water breaks." Nina grinned.
"I'll be back tomorrow." Jack assured her, not quite sure how to leave things between them.
"Well, I'm sure the wait will be agonizing." Nina answered flippantly, suddenly feeling a little sick to her stomach.
"Listen, Nina-" Jack started to say.
"Kim's probably waiting. You should go." She cut him off abruptly.
Jack sighed, looking at her, searching for how she really felt, and getting nothing back
"Fine." He said, leaving and closing the door behind him.
Nina got to her feet after he left, feeling shaky, tired, and emotional. She hated this. This pregnancy thing was throwing her all off and making it a lot harder to pretend like nothing Jack said affected her in any way. And she knew from her paltry understanding of pregnancy that the emotions were just going to get stronger as time went on. She swore right then that no matter how bad things got, she would never cry in front of Jack. She couldn't even imagine reaching a place that far into emotional weakness. She refused to let that happen.
She looked down at her stomach. She was still as thin as usual, but couldn't help considering the fact that a life was inside of her right now. She and Jack's child. Something she had been so jealous of for so long every time she looked at Teri was now finally hers. And she had absolutely no idea how to deal with that.
Sighing heavily, Nina sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking of the snack machine outside. Suddenly, she could really have used some chocolate and jalapeno chips.
~*~
A/N- More to come soon! Please review!
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Eight
So Much to Say
~*~
**I'm so close to you baby but I'm so far away
There's a silence between us and there's so much to say
You're my strength; you're my weakness
You're my faith; you're my doubt
We've gotta meet in the middle to work this thing out**
~*~
Jack nearly dropped the phone in shock. Barely recovering, he found his voice again.
"Please…please, tell me you're joking." He said chokingly.
Nina sighed heavily.
"Yes, Jack, you caught me. Wasn't that hilarious? Of course I'm not joking!" She said angrily.
"But how…how can you be pregnant?" He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, feeling a migraine coming on.
"Well, Jack, it all begins when a man and a woman love each other very much-" Nina explained as if reading from a textbook.
"Damn it, Nina! This is serious!"
"Well, you kind of set me up for that one though."
Jack stood up, starting to pace.
"How do you even know it's mine?"
"You don't think I found that out? It's yours."
"What are you going to do?" He asked, totally at a loss himself.
"That's why I think we need to talk about this."
"When?"
"Whenever you can get out for awhile without Kim noticing."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm in Los Angeles. I'll go back to that same hotel as before, we'll talk there."
"All right. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Fine."
Nina hung up, and Jack was left holding the phone and about to crush it like a soda can out of pure frustration. How could this be possible? Had he accidentally stumbled into the soap opera from hell? The woman who killed his wife was pregnant with his child. He could kill himself for making the kind of mistake he'd made. Had he lost his mind? Sleeping with Nina? It was just now sinking in how crazy that had been. This seemed like payback for being such an idiot.
He left Kim a quickly scrawled note with some lame excuse, grabbed his coat, and left.
~*~
Jack walked up to the now familiar hotel room door, feeling sick to his stomach. He still couldn't believe this was happening. He was praying that he'd open the door, and she'd be smiling that same devious smile and announce she was only kidding.
He wouldn't even be angry. He'd probably hug her.
Jack knocked three times, shivering slightly. It was cold tonight, for Los Angeles anyway. She opened the door, looking pale and exhausted. She was wearing one of Kim's sweaters, a light blue turtleneck, and jeans. She looked very different from usual, even from her joking attitude when she had talked to him on the phone moments before. She usually greeted him at the door in all black, smiling like she knew something he didn't.
Now Nina looked frightened and as if she was just as confused as he was, like the magnitude of what was happening had just hit her. Jack found her upset expression to be very disconcerting.
"Come in." She said emotionlessly, turning around and sitting in the hotel chair with her knees pulled up to her chest.
"Nina-" He said somewhat gently.
"Forget it, Jack. Don't apologize. This is just as much my fault as it is yours. You always take the blame for everything."
"What do you want to do about this?"
"I don't know." She said irritably.
"Well, you basically have two options. Keep the baby…or don't." He said in the same soft voice.
"I don't want to-- terminate it." She said, looking up at him.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked.
"Yes! Damn it, Jack, it's your kid too! Or does that even matter to you? What, like it's mine, and that makes it tainted, so you don't care if it lives or dies?" Nina was practically shouting.
"Nina, calm down. I didn't say that."
"I know you didn't say it, but that's what you meant, right? You want me to get rid of it, so you don't have to DEAL with me! You know I'm right!" Nina glared at him, her words harsh with sadness.
"Nina, whatever you want to do-"
"Bullsh**, Jack! Since when do you care about me?"
Jack looked down. She obviously was not going to be very rational about this. And he had absolutely no idea what to do with this situation.
"Nina," he began softly, "tell me what you want me to do."
"I'm not killing this baby." She said, looking at him with all seriousness, for once not a single sardonic note to her voice.
"That's fine."
"I don't even know why I told you." She sighed heavily.
"Because raising a kid alone is a pretty daunting prospect, even for a criminal mastermind." Jack pointed out.
"What? Like you're going to help me? Like we'll be just one big happy family? Yeah, right." Nina laughed callously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Nina, what's in our past has nothing to do with this. Like you said, it's half-mine. I can't just abandon you."
"Sure you can." Nina said pragmatically.
"Well, I'm not going to." Jack said, meeting her green eyes in the dimly lit hotel room.
"Who knew that getting knocked up was the only way to make you a decent guy?" Nina smiled slightly.
Jack sighed, looking away.
"I'm kidding, Jack. Calm yourself." Nina sat up, rapidly switching back into her old persona.
It made Jack a lot more comfortable to see her usual veiled indifference staring back at him instead shocking vulnerability.
"All right. Well, I'll give you a call when the water breaks." Nina grinned.
"I'll be back tomorrow." Jack assured her, not quite sure how to leave things between them.
"Well, I'm sure the wait will be agonizing." Nina answered flippantly, suddenly feeling a little sick to her stomach.
"Listen, Nina-" Jack started to say.
"Kim's probably waiting. You should go." She cut him off abruptly.
Jack sighed, looking at her, searching for how she really felt, and getting nothing back
"Fine." He said, leaving and closing the door behind him.
Nina got to her feet after he left, feeling shaky, tired, and emotional. She hated this. This pregnancy thing was throwing her all off and making it a lot harder to pretend like nothing Jack said affected her in any way. And she knew from her paltry understanding of pregnancy that the emotions were just going to get stronger as time went on. She swore right then that no matter how bad things got, she would never cry in front of Jack. She couldn't even imagine reaching a place that far into emotional weakness. She refused to let that happen.
She looked down at her stomach. She was still as thin as usual, but couldn't help considering the fact that a life was inside of her right now. She and Jack's child. Something she had been so jealous of for so long every time she looked at Teri was now finally hers. And she had absolutely no idea how to deal with that.
Sighing heavily, Nina sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking of the snack machine outside. Suddenly, she could really have used some chocolate and jalapeno chips.
~*~
A/N- More to come soon! Please review!
