A/N- Thanks for the reviews guys! The lyrics are from Sarah McLachlan's "Circle." Usual disclaimers apply!
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Nine
Hanging On
~*~
There are two of us talking in circles
and one of us who wants to leave
In a world created for only us
an empty cage that has no key
Don't you know we're working with flesh and blood
Crawling into each other it's smothering
Every little part of me
What kind of love is this that keeps me
Hanging on
Despite everything it's doing to me
What is this love that keeps me coming
Back for more
When it will only end in misery
~*~
Nina looked in the dingy, badly lit hotel room mirror. She looked awful. She was pale from being sick all morning and too thin from basically existing off of hotel food. But what choice did she have?
This wasn't fair. This wasn't how anything was supposed to happen. Some part of her wanted so badly to just end the pregnancy, and go back to the life she knew before. But for some reason, she couldn't. She had never really given much thought to children- they were just slightly annoying little people all her friends proudly showed pictures of to her. But now that a child was actually hers- she couldn't do it.
She had killed so many, watched so many final moments in a life, and never felt even a twinge of remorse- but the thought of killing the baby made her feel sick to even consider.
Nina sighed heavily, splashing cold water on her face to try and dispel the nausea. She watched the water drip back onto the cabinet, gripping the side of the sink with white knuckles. Since when did she care about anyone or anything? The recent conscience spasm she had been experiencing was making her question everything she had ever done. And she hated it.
~*~
"Dad, I think someone's at the door." Kim said, watching TV on the couch.
Jack sighed.
"I'll get it." He steeled himself.
He opened the door, revealing a very nervous looking Michelle.
"Jack!" She said, hugging him.
"Hello." Jack answered curtly, pulling away awkwardly.
She waited for him to invite her in.
"Look, Michelle, I think I know what this is about. Tony sent you here because I won't listen to him, and he thinks, hey, Jack and Michelle get along all right, she'll talk him into coming back. But you won't. Sorry."
"Jack, you can't keep doing this! You've always known the risks of working at CTU, but you let Kim work there anyway! You knew it was going to be dangerous! You cannot blame Tony or any of us for that!"
"So now it's my fault that she almost died?"
"It's no one's FAULT, Jack! Serving your country is a risky thing to take on, but you know Tony did everything he could to protect her! She volunteered!"
"Everything he could? That's interesting. I don't recall him doing anything at all while she was dying in a hospital." Jack said bitterly.
Michelle crossed her arms, her dark eyes flashing with anger.
"If I had been infected with the virus, do you think Tony would have just quit his job, forsaken his responsibilities, and run off to get help from someone who nearly destroyed his life?" Michelle shot back.
Jack looked at her in shock.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." Michelle looked back at him unflinchingly.
"What do you think you know, Michelle?"
"I don't think I know, Jack. I'm convinced you went to her. I have no idea how you justified that to yourself. Who else would have access to something like the antidote? And you wouldn't react like this if you hadn't."
"If you're insinuating what I think you are…that's insane. Get out of here, Michelle. Tell Tony he can give up and leave me and Kim alone. And also tell him he can stop feeding you false accusations that are laughably implausible."
Michelle looked at him for a long moment.
"Fine, Jack."
She turned and walked away, leaving Jack with an angry expression and a very small mike planted in his jacket pocket.
~*~
"Kim?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to go pick us up some pizza. What do you want on yours?"
"Pepperoni and Canadian bacon. Dad, why don't you just order it?"
Jack looked into her room.
"Just need some fresh air. You feeling okay?"
"Yes, I feel fine. Hurry back- I think they're about to start that Law and Order marathon."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you, too, dad." Kim smiled.
~*~
Nina heard a sudden knock at her hotel room, startling her out of watching the Law and Order marathon that had just started. She looked through the peephole, and saw Jack holding a pizza box. Huh.
Nina opened the door, and he stepped in quickly.
"Jack? Pizza?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Thought you might be hungry. Kim's is in the car though, I've got to hurry."
"Uh…thanks." Nina said awkwardly, sitting on the bed and opening the pizza box.
"Ooh, plain cheese. How exciting." She rolled her eyes.
"I remembered you feeling really strongly about pepperoni, but I couldn't remember if it was that you loved it or hated it."
"I love it. But that's okay. I am starving actually." She said, closing the box again.
"So are you feeling all right?"
"Just fantastic, Jack."
"Really."
"Couldn't be better. Thanks for the pizza." Nina said curtly.
"You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"No morning sickness or anything?"
"Oh, is that what that was?" She said sarcastically.
Jack looked at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. Kim's pizza's probably getting cold. You should go."
Jack looked at her for a long moment.
"Nina, you can't keep living here."
"Well, where do you propose I live then?" She said a little harshly.
"I…I don't know."
"Thanks for that brilliant insight, Jack, now all my problems are solved!"
"Look, Nina, I'm doing the best I can here. You know this is hard on me, too."
"Oh, you're breaking my heart." She glared at him.
Jack looked away from her, anger suddenly coursing through him. He looked back, his tone cold.
"You know what? You don't want my help? Then I won't help you."
Nina looked back, her expression just as icy.
"What's stopping you then?" She got off the bed, standing suddenly very close to him, her eyes locked on his unblinkingly.
They stared at each other for a long moment like two fighters sizing each other up.
"Nothing." Jack finally broke the stare-down, leaving the room abruptly and slamming the door behind him.
~*~
As Jack walked back to his car, practically seeing red with resentment and frustration, he suddenly stopped in surprise. Tony was leaning against the hood of his car, his expression critical and disappointed.
"I didn't want to believe it, Jack."
"If you're going to arrest me for saving my daughter's life, go right ahead." Jack said, realizing it was futile to feign innocence now.
"I wouldn't be here if it was that simple. But you broke the law. And with her." Tony said 'her' as if it was the worst possible insult he could think of.
"Get to the point. If you even have one." Jack sighed, aggravated.
~*~
Nina's cell phone suddenly rang, interrupting a really great court room scene on the TV. She sighed, swallowing her bite of pizza, and answering it.
"Myers." She said into the phone.
"Hello, Nina." It was a very familiar, heavily accented voice.
Nina's hand clenched tightly around the phone.
"You son of bitch."
"Always good to hear your voice."
"Look, Amador, don't even talk to me like we're friends-you screwed us all over."
"Only because you were allying yourself with CTU."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't you? Does the name Jack Bauer ring any bells? The man you so furiously warned me about, and now you're involved with him, even though you're aware that he was deceiving all of us in Mexico? Now come on, Nina- that's just pathetic."
"Amanda told you."
"Mandy's pretty loose with information. It wasn't that difficult to get it out of her. Wave a few dollar bills in front of her, she's like a little kid in a candy store."
"Cute story. Why are you calling?" Nina said, getting nervous.
"You're the only one who can identify Alvers and myself. I was just confirming you being alive."
"Why's that?"
"Can't wait to see you, love. I've heard Los Angeles is so nice this time of year." Amador said cheerily.
Click.
~*~
A/N- Review please!
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Nine
Hanging On
~*~
There are two of us talking in circles
and one of us who wants to leave
In a world created for only us
an empty cage that has no key
Don't you know we're working with flesh and blood
Crawling into each other it's smothering
Every little part of me
What kind of love is this that keeps me
Hanging on
Despite everything it's doing to me
What is this love that keeps me coming
Back for more
When it will only end in misery
~*~
Nina looked in the dingy, badly lit hotel room mirror. She looked awful. She was pale from being sick all morning and too thin from basically existing off of hotel food. But what choice did she have?
This wasn't fair. This wasn't how anything was supposed to happen. Some part of her wanted so badly to just end the pregnancy, and go back to the life she knew before. But for some reason, she couldn't. She had never really given much thought to children- they were just slightly annoying little people all her friends proudly showed pictures of to her. But now that a child was actually hers- she couldn't do it.
She had killed so many, watched so many final moments in a life, and never felt even a twinge of remorse- but the thought of killing the baby made her feel sick to even consider.
Nina sighed heavily, splashing cold water on her face to try and dispel the nausea. She watched the water drip back onto the cabinet, gripping the side of the sink with white knuckles. Since when did she care about anyone or anything? The recent conscience spasm she had been experiencing was making her question everything she had ever done. And she hated it.
~*~
"Dad, I think someone's at the door." Kim said, watching TV on the couch.
Jack sighed.
"I'll get it." He steeled himself.
He opened the door, revealing a very nervous looking Michelle.
"Jack!" She said, hugging him.
"Hello." Jack answered curtly, pulling away awkwardly.
She waited for him to invite her in.
"Look, Michelle, I think I know what this is about. Tony sent you here because I won't listen to him, and he thinks, hey, Jack and Michelle get along all right, she'll talk him into coming back. But you won't. Sorry."
"Jack, you can't keep doing this! You've always known the risks of working at CTU, but you let Kim work there anyway! You knew it was going to be dangerous! You cannot blame Tony or any of us for that!"
"So now it's my fault that she almost died?"
"It's no one's FAULT, Jack! Serving your country is a risky thing to take on, but you know Tony did everything he could to protect her! She volunteered!"
"Everything he could? That's interesting. I don't recall him doing anything at all while she was dying in a hospital." Jack said bitterly.
Michelle crossed her arms, her dark eyes flashing with anger.
"If I had been infected with the virus, do you think Tony would have just quit his job, forsaken his responsibilities, and run off to get help from someone who nearly destroyed his life?" Michelle shot back.
Jack looked at her in shock.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about." Michelle looked back at him unflinchingly.
"What do you think you know, Michelle?"
"I don't think I know, Jack. I'm convinced you went to her. I have no idea how you justified that to yourself. Who else would have access to something like the antidote? And you wouldn't react like this if you hadn't."
"If you're insinuating what I think you are…that's insane. Get out of here, Michelle. Tell Tony he can give up and leave me and Kim alone. And also tell him he can stop feeding you false accusations that are laughably implausible."
Michelle looked at him for a long moment.
"Fine, Jack."
She turned and walked away, leaving Jack with an angry expression and a very small mike planted in his jacket pocket.
~*~
"Kim?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to go pick us up some pizza. What do you want on yours?"
"Pepperoni and Canadian bacon. Dad, why don't you just order it?"
Jack looked into her room.
"Just need some fresh air. You feeling okay?"
"Yes, I feel fine. Hurry back- I think they're about to start that Law and Order marathon."
"I will. Love you."
"Love you, too, dad." Kim smiled.
~*~
Nina heard a sudden knock at her hotel room, startling her out of watching the Law and Order marathon that had just started. She looked through the peephole, and saw Jack holding a pizza box. Huh.
Nina opened the door, and he stepped in quickly.
"Jack? Pizza?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Thought you might be hungry. Kim's is in the car though, I've got to hurry."
"Uh…thanks." Nina said awkwardly, sitting on the bed and opening the pizza box.
"Ooh, plain cheese. How exciting." She rolled her eyes.
"I remembered you feeling really strongly about pepperoni, but I couldn't remember if it was that you loved it or hated it."
"I love it. But that's okay. I am starving actually." She said, closing the box again.
"So are you feeling all right?"
"Just fantastic, Jack."
"Really."
"Couldn't be better. Thanks for the pizza." Nina said curtly.
"You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"No morning sickness or anything?"
"Oh, is that what that was?" She said sarcastically.
Jack looked at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. Kim's pizza's probably getting cold. You should go."
Jack looked at her for a long moment.
"Nina, you can't keep living here."
"Well, where do you propose I live then?" She said a little harshly.
"I…I don't know."
"Thanks for that brilliant insight, Jack, now all my problems are solved!"
"Look, Nina, I'm doing the best I can here. You know this is hard on me, too."
"Oh, you're breaking my heart." She glared at him.
Jack looked away from her, anger suddenly coursing through him. He looked back, his tone cold.
"You know what? You don't want my help? Then I won't help you."
Nina looked back, her expression just as icy.
"What's stopping you then?" She got off the bed, standing suddenly very close to him, her eyes locked on his unblinkingly.
They stared at each other for a long moment like two fighters sizing each other up.
"Nothing." Jack finally broke the stare-down, leaving the room abruptly and slamming the door behind him.
~*~
As Jack walked back to his car, practically seeing red with resentment and frustration, he suddenly stopped in surprise. Tony was leaning against the hood of his car, his expression critical and disappointed.
"I didn't want to believe it, Jack."
"If you're going to arrest me for saving my daughter's life, go right ahead." Jack said, realizing it was futile to feign innocence now.
"I wouldn't be here if it was that simple. But you broke the law. And with her." Tony said 'her' as if it was the worst possible insult he could think of.
"Get to the point. If you even have one." Jack sighed, aggravated.
~*~
Nina's cell phone suddenly rang, interrupting a really great court room scene on the TV. She sighed, swallowing her bite of pizza, and answering it.
"Myers." She said into the phone.
"Hello, Nina." It was a very familiar, heavily accented voice.
Nina's hand clenched tightly around the phone.
"You son of bitch."
"Always good to hear your voice."
"Look, Amador, don't even talk to me like we're friends-you screwed us all over."
"Only because you were allying yourself with CTU."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't you? Does the name Jack Bauer ring any bells? The man you so furiously warned me about, and now you're involved with him, even though you're aware that he was deceiving all of us in Mexico? Now come on, Nina- that's just pathetic."
"Amanda told you."
"Mandy's pretty loose with information. It wasn't that difficult to get it out of her. Wave a few dollar bills in front of her, she's like a little kid in a candy store."
"Cute story. Why are you calling?" Nina said, getting nervous.
"You're the only one who can identify Alvers and myself. I was just confirming you being alive."
"Why's that?"
"Can't wait to see you, love. I've heard Los Angeles is so nice this time of year." Amador said cheerily.
Click.
~*~
A/N- Review please!
