A/N- Thanks so much for the reviews guys! Keep reading, usual disclaimers apply. The lyrics at the end are from Hoobastank's "The Reason."
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Ten
The Reason
~*~
Tony and Michelle stood there, looking at Jack with confused expressions.
"Jack, I should arrest you for this."
Jack impatiently ran a hand through his blond hair, his head pounding slightly.
"Look, Tony-you and Michelle don't have kids. But someday, you will, and you'll finally understand why I do all these seemingly crazy things for my daughter. She matters more to me than anything in the world, and I don't think you can judge my decisions on something you know nothing about."
"We understand how much Kim means to you, Jack. But that doesn't give you an excuse to conspire with a terrorist to save her." Michelle said somewhat sympathetically.
"Then tell me what you would have done. Put yourself in my place and tell me what other options I had." Jack said.
Tony and Michelle had no answer for that.
"You know what, Jack? I've worked with you long enough to trust you. I know that you had run out of options. So I'll let this go." Tony finally said.
"Thank you." Jack just nodded, starting towards his car.
"Wait." Michelle called after him.
Jack turned around, frustrated.
"What?"
"She's up there? Right now?" Michelle looked toward the room Jack had just come from.
"Yes." Jack said, seeing no point in lying.
"Then we are definitely obligated to bring her into federal prison, even if we let you go."
Jack looked at them, his stomach suddenly clenched.
"You can't do that."
"Oh, really? Why not?" Tony laughed, looking at him in disbelief.
Jack sighed heavily, trying to think of some way to explain this without implicating himself. He saw none.
"She's pregnant."
Tony shrugged.
"Big surprise. Sorry, Jack, but the U.S. government doesn't exactly deal in "get out of jail free" cards. If she's pregnant, it's her own fault."
"She and the baby will both die if you send her to prison." Jack said; his voice slightly strained.
"Maybe she just told you she was pregnant so you wouldn't kill her or put her in prison yourself." Michelle pointed out.
"No, she's not lying." Jack said softly.
"And you're so sure of this how? Come on, Jack, every word out of her mouth is a lie. You can't trust anything she says."
"She's not lying." Jack said more decisively.
"Oh, really? Did she happen to mention who the father was? Some other terrorist? That Alvers guy?"
"No."
"If she is pregnant, she probably doesn't even know who the father is." Michelle sounded slightly disgusted.
"She knows!" Jack found himself suddenly and inexplicably angry.
"Get a hold of yourself, Jack. Suddenly you care about Nina Myers?" Tony couldn't help but smile slightly at the absurdity of that statement.
"No, of course not." Jack said tightly.
"Then what's wrong? So she dies- any child of Nina's would probably come out with a 666 on its head. We'd be doing the world a favor." Tony said.
"It's mine. I'm the father." Jack said simply, glaring at both of them, daring them to say anything in return.
~*~
Nina hung up the phone in shock, her hands shaking uncontrollably. Amador was going to kill her. He was going to kill her baby. She felt a distinct pounding in her head, her vision blurring slightly. Angry, frightened tears threatened to spill, but she quickly blinked them back. This was not the time to cry. Crying did nothing but make the situation worse. She had to think.
She looked down at her stomach. A small bump was beginning to grow. The baby was now an actual human being, and getting bigger every day. This child was her one chance to actually do something good for once. She wasn't losing it because she couldn't outthink Amador.
She looked out the window, hearing raised voices in the parking lot. Jack was standing there, with Tony and a woman she didn't recognize. What the hell was CTU doing here? How had they found him? She felt herself growing more and more anxious, as a steady nausea built in the back of her throat. Suddenly, the woman looked up at her window. Nina drew back quickly, closing the curtains.
She couldn't help it. She retched almost violently in the bathroom, her skin pale and clammy as she stood back up.
For practically the first time in her life, she was at a loss for what to do. She had always had some sort of contingency plan; some back up if things went wrong. She had always planned for everything. But she had never planned for this.
~*~
"Yours?" Michelle sputtered, looking at him with wide brown eyes.
"Yes."
"Oh, you're hilarious, Jack. You and Nina?" Tony couldn't help it. He started laughing, looking at Michelle incredulously.
"Honey…I think he's serious." She said softly to her husband, looking at Jack's unwavering expression.
Tony stopped laughing abruptly.
"Jack…how…you didn't…"
"Well, Tony, there's really only one way for it to happen." Jack said patronizingly.
"You slept with her?" Tony said, his voice strangled with disbelief.
"Yes." Jack said, with a strange causality.
"How could you do that?" Michelle looked at him in disbelief.
"It was a mistake. But that doesn't mean I can just ignore the consequences."
"A mistake? Don't you think you're understating this a little?" Tony sputtered.
Jack looked away, out of things to say in his defense.
Tony spoke in a much quieter voice to him, stepping close enough where Jack couldn't ignore him.
"She killed Teri, Jamie, George, and nearly every employee CTU has in the explosion. She betrayed CTU in every way possible. She used both of us, Jack. She would have killed millions of people with a nuclear bomb or a deadly virus. How could you ever allow yourself to feel anything for someone that horrible?"
"I loved her once," Jack finally looked back at them, "I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. And she was one of them."
A long silence fell among the trio standing in the parking lot.
"So what do you want us to do?" Michelle finally spoke.
"Let it go. I'll take care of everything. Believe me, she's in no condition to hurt anyone."
"That's what we all thought when she jammed a needle into her jugular." Tony pointed out.
"I never thought that was enough to stop her. But this is. For the first time in her life, she's scared to death. She won't be a threat to anyone."
"How can you be sure?" Michelle said tentatively.
"Because I know her better than anyone. Just walk away and leave it alone."
"We can't just walk away."
"She's not going to prison. And neither am I."
"Jack, this is insane. So, she has the baby, then what? You're just one big happy family?" Tony said sardonically.
"I don't know."
"That was a rhetorical question! Of course you can't be happy with her! She's a mass murderer currently at the top of America's Most Wanted List! Just stop and think about that, Jack. Yes, I realize she meant something to you once. But she ruined all of that. It was her choice. And she's everything you swore to protect this country against. How can you just compromise all of that for a child that she claims is yours?"
"It is mine."
Tony looked like he was about to hit Jack in the face merely for being such an idiot. But he just shook his head.
"Fine, Jack. You take care of this. She's your problem. I hope you can live with yourself the next time she kills someone." Tony put his hand on Michelle's back, leading her away from Jack standing desolately in the parking lot.
~*~
Jack stood there for what seemed like an eternity, his mind reeling with muddled, confusing thoughts he had no time to sort out. He looked in his car, seeing Kim's pizza. Damn it. He had completely forgotten. He unlocked the car door hurriedly, getting in. But just as he turned on the headlights, he saw Nina standing in front of the car.
Jack put the car in park. She looked so miserable he couldn't help but see what was wrong.
"What is it?" He asked, getting out of the car.
"I'm going to die unless you help me." She said, her voice much smaller than usual.
"What are you talking about?"
"Amador just called. He and Alvers are going to kill me- I'm the only person who can identify either of them." Nina still wouldn't look at Jack, the slight wind whipping her hair around her shoulders.
"I don't know what you expect me to do about this." Jack said honestly.
Nina finally met his eyes, and Jack was shocked to see her green eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"I don't know either." She said softly.
Jack suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Nina didn't cry. Never in his life had he seen her cry.
And she didn't now. As soon as he saw the emotion there, she looked down for a moment and it was gone. Her eyes, hard and empty again, met his.
"I know I deserve this. All of this. And I can say I'm sorry until the day I die, and it still won't change anything between us. But I'm still asking you- please help me. Everything that's happening is my fault, and that's my own judgment to deal with. But my…our child doesn't deserve any of this. And I can't stand the thought that my horrible decisions killed my only chance of giving something good to the world. I wish I could change everything…but I can't. All I can do is give this child a chance to live a life with the best father and the best man I've ever known."
Jack looked at her with thinly veiled shock. Nothing could have prepared him for that. After a long, weighted silence, he finally spoke.
"I'll help you."
~*~
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
I just want you to know
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
~*~
A/N- Please review! Chapter eleven to come soon!
Counting the Cost
~*~
Chapter Ten
The Reason
~*~
Tony and Michelle stood there, looking at Jack with confused expressions.
"Jack, I should arrest you for this."
Jack impatiently ran a hand through his blond hair, his head pounding slightly.
"Look, Tony-you and Michelle don't have kids. But someday, you will, and you'll finally understand why I do all these seemingly crazy things for my daughter. She matters more to me than anything in the world, and I don't think you can judge my decisions on something you know nothing about."
"We understand how much Kim means to you, Jack. But that doesn't give you an excuse to conspire with a terrorist to save her." Michelle said somewhat sympathetically.
"Then tell me what you would have done. Put yourself in my place and tell me what other options I had." Jack said.
Tony and Michelle had no answer for that.
"You know what, Jack? I've worked with you long enough to trust you. I know that you had run out of options. So I'll let this go." Tony finally said.
"Thank you." Jack just nodded, starting towards his car.
"Wait." Michelle called after him.
Jack turned around, frustrated.
"What?"
"She's up there? Right now?" Michelle looked toward the room Jack had just come from.
"Yes." Jack said, seeing no point in lying.
"Then we are definitely obligated to bring her into federal prison, even if we let you go."
Jack looked at them, his stomach suddenly clenched.
"You can't do that."
"Oh, really? Why not?" Tony laughed, looking at him in disbelief.
Jack sighed heavily, trying to think of some way to explain this without implicating himself. He saw none.
"She's pregnant."
Tony shrugged.
"Big surprise. Sorry, Jack, but the U.S. government doesn't exactly deal in "get out of jail free" cards. If she's pregnant, it's her own fault."
"She and the baby will both die if you send her to prison." Jack said; his voice slightly strained.
"Maybe she just told you she was pregnant so you wouldn't kill her or put her in prison yourself." Michelle pointed out.
"No, she's not lying." Jack said softly.
"And you're so sure of this how? Come on, Jack, every word out of her mouth is a lie. You can't trust anything she says."
"She's not lying." Jack said more decisively.
"Oh, really? Did she happen to mention who the father was? Some other terrorist? That Alvers guy?"
"No."
"If she is pregnant, she probably doesn't even know who the father is." Michelle sounded slightly disgusted.
"She knows!" Jack found himself suddenly and inexplicably angry.
"Get a hold of yourself, Jack. Suddenly you care about Nina Myers?" Tony couldn't help but smile slightly at the absurdity of that statement.
"No, of course not." Jack said tightly.
"Then what's wrong? So she dies- any child of Nina's would probably come out with a 666 on its head. We'd be doing the world a favor." Tony said.
"It's mine. I'm the father." Jack said simply, glaring at both of them, daring them to say anything in return.
~*~
Nina hung up the phone in shock, her hands shaking uncontrollably. Amador was going to kill her. He was going to kill her baby. She felt a distinct pounding in her head, her vision blurring slightly. Angry, frightened tears threatened to spill, but she quickly blinked them back. This was not the time to cry. Crying did nothing but make the situation worse. She had to think.
She looked down at her stomach. A small bump was beginning to grow. The baby was now an actual human being, and getting bigger every day. This child was her one chance to actually do something good for once. She wasn't losing it because she couldn't outthink Amador.
She looked out the window, hearing raised voices in the parking lot. Jack was standing there, with Tony and a woman she didn't recognize. What the hell was CTU doing here? How had they found him? She felt herself growing more and more anxious, as a steady nausea built in the back of her throat. Suddenly, the woman looked up at her window. Nina drew back quickly, closing the curtains.
She couldn't help it. She retched almost violently in the bathroom, her skin pale and clammy as she stood back up.
For practically the first time in her life, she was at a loss for what to do. She had always had some sort of contingency plan; some back up if things went wrong. She had always planned for everything. But she had never planned for this.
~*~
"Yours?" Michelle sputtered, looking at him with wide brown eyes.
"Yes."
"Oh, you're hilarious, Jack. You and Nina?" Tony couldn't help it. He started laughing, looking at Michelle incredulously.
"Honey…I think he's serious." She said softly to her husband, looking at Jack's unwavering expression.
Tony stopped laughing abruptly.
"Jack…how…you didn't…"
"Well, Tony, there's really only one way for it to happen." Jack said patronizingly.
"You slept with her?" Tony said, his voice strangled with disbelief.
"Yes." Jack said, with a strange causality.
"How could you do that?" Michelle looked at him in disbelief.
"It was a mistake. But that doesn't mean I can just ignore the consequences."
"A mistake? Don't you think you're understating this a little?" Tony sputtered.
Jack looked away, out of things to say in his defense.
Tony spoke in a much quieter voice to him, stepping close enough where Jack couldn't ignore him.
"She killed Teri, Jamie, George, and nearly every employee CTU has in the explosion. She betrayed CTU in every way possible. She used both of us, Jack. She would have killed millions of people with a nuclear bomb or a deadly virus. How could you ever allow yourself to feel anything for someone that horrible?"
"I loved her once," Jack finally looked back at them, "I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. And she was one of them."
A long silence fell among the trio standing in the parking lot.
"So what do you want us to do?" Michelle finally spoke.
"Let it go. I'll take care of everything. Believe me, she's in no condition to hurt anyone."
"That's what we all thought when she jammed a needle into her jugular." Tony pointed out.
"I never thought that was enough to stop her. But this is. For the first time in her life, she's scared to death. She won't be a threat to anyone."
"How can you be sure?" Michelle said tentatively.
"Because I know her better than anyone. Just walk away and leave it alone."
"We can't just walk away."
"She's not going to prison. And neither am I."
"Jack, this is insane. So, she has the baby, then what? You're just one big happy family?" Tony said sardonically.
"I don't know."
"That was a rhetorical question! Of course you can't be happy with her! She's a mass murderer currently at the top of America's Most Wanted List! Just stop and think about that, Jack. Yes, I realize she meant something to you once. But she ruined all of that. It was her choice. And she's everything you swore to protect this country against. How can you just compromise all of that for a child that she claims is yours?"
"It is mine."
Tony looked like he was about to hit Jack in the face merely for being such an idiot. But he just shook his head.
"Fine, Jack. You take care of this. She's your problem. I hope you can live with yourself the next time she kills someone." Tony put his hand on Michelle's back, leading her away from Jack standing desolately in the parking lot.
~*~
Jack stood there for what seemed like an eternity, his mind reeling with muddled, confusing thoughts he had no time to sort out. He looked in his car, seeing Kim's pizza. Damn it. He had completely forgotten. He unlocked the car door hurriedly, getting in. But just as he turned on the headlights, he saw Nina standing in front of the car.
Jack put the car in park. She looked so miserable he couldn't help but see what was wrong.
"What is it?" He asked, getting out of the car.
"I'm going to die unless you help me." She said, her voice much smaller than usual.
"What are you talking about?"
"Amador just called. He and Alvers are going to kill me- I'm the only person who can identify either of them." Nina still wouldn't look at Jack, the slight wind whipping her hair around her shoulders.
"I don't know what you expect me to do about this." Jack said honestly.
Nina finally met his eyes, and Jack was shocked to see her green eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"I don't know either." She said softly.
Jack suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Nina didn't cry. Never in his life had he seen her cry.
And she didn't now. As soon as he saw the emotion there, she looked down for a moment and it was gone. Her eyes, hard and empty again, met his.
"I know I deserve this. All of this. And I can say I'm sorry until the day I die, and it still won't change anything between us. But I'm still asking you- please help me. Everything that's happening is my fault, and that's my own judgment to deal with. But my…our child doesn't deserve any of this. And I can't stand the thought that my horrible decisions killed my only chance of giving something good to the world. I wish I could change everything…but I can't. All I can do is give this child a chance to live a life with the best father and the best man I've ever known."
Jack looked at her with thinly veiled shock. Nothing could have prepared him for that. After a long, weighted silence, he finally spoke.
"I'll help you."
~*~
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
I just want you to know
I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
~*~
A/N- Please review! Chapter eleven to come soon!
