Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Final Fantasy VIII. All such characters are copyrighted property of Squaresoft.
Snows of Winter, Rains of Spring
By Joshua Reardon
Chapter 4: Fallen
Rinoa didn't think she could be in any more pain. Between the frigid temperatures of the Trabian wilderness and the constant beating from the chocobo saddle, she was sure it was only a matter of time before her entire body crumbled from the constant bouncing. Her knees were sore from constantly gripping the giant bird, and she was sure the bird held no love for her because of it. Four times it had craned its neck around and warked at her for squeezing too tight.
She looked over at Quistis and could only wish she had as much poise in the saddle. Quistis seemed to flow with the chocobo, riding expertly, barely needing to use the reins, letting her knees do most of the steering. Whereas Rinoa, by contrast, had to yank on the reins each time she tried to turn the stupid bird so hard she was constantly almost falling out of the saddle, which made her grip her knees harder, which made the bird wark at her even more. She didn't know how she had gotten locked in this vicious cycle, but she swore that this was the first and last time she would ever ride a chocobo.
She wouldn't complain though. She flat out refused to, especially in front of the blond SeeD. It was her idea to go on this excursion and she wasn't going to let a little pain deter her from finding out if Squall was alright. In light of her nightmare, she couldn't let it.
Trying to take her mind off the numbing agony in her posterior, she opened the holo-map once more and checked their position. The glowing red dot was moving in a jagged line as they wove their way through the Mjornir foothills.
She turned her attention away from the map toward Quistis.
"How much longer before we pick up his locator signal?" she asked the older girl.
Quistis reined in her chocobo and turned her attention, which had been focused on the surrounding forest, to Rinoa.
"We have to be within a couple kilometers, roughly. It's not too exact. Might be even less out here what with all the hills blocking the signal. This would have been a lot easier if we could have flown the Ragnarok here" she answered, thinking wistfully.
"Tell me about it." Rinoa couldn't help agreeing. "Why would Squall have taken the ship instead of just scheduling a drop off and pick up?"
"Probably because he was too busy running to think. When Squall desperately wants to get away from something he doesn't give two thoughts to his actions." As soon as the words were out of Quistis' mouth she wanted to take them back. Wincing she looked to Rinoa.
"Rin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" She couldn't finish the sentence. There was a flash of pain across the small brunette girls face and then she turned her head away.
"It's… it's alright. I know I scared him away, I just don't know what I did." Her voice sounded on the verge of cracking.
A minute of silence passed between the two girls before Quistis tentatively spoke again.
"Why don't we rest the birds for a few minutes? I saw a stream over this way. Besides my butt is killing me"
Leading the chocobos toward the stream, Rinoa looked around at the forest, taking some relief from the serene setting. The trees weren't packed so tight that you couldn't see through them, but even so it was hard to glimpse more than a hundred meters in the distance. Boughs of evergreens were laden full with snow, pulled down by the weighty blankets. A small brook cut through the tree line, ice encroaching on the edges of the water.
Dismounting, the two women led the great birds to the water to drink. Letting the reins go, they moved off a small ways, the chocobos trained enough to know not to move more than a few feet from where they were left.
Brushing the snow away from a spot on the ground, Quistis laid some dead wood on the spot and reached deep into her mind. A small puff of flame burst into being, igniting even the wet wood. Soon enough, she had a small fire going, enough to provide some heat at least. Crouching down, the girls warmed themselves by the heat of the flame, even as snowflakes continued to fall lazily around them.
As the heat from the fire began to dispel some of the cold that had settled into there bones, Rinoa took time to reflect on their situation. She was out in the middle of nowhere, searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack, with her former rival, Quistis Trepe. Why was she here, why had she come with her? Rinoa didn't relish the thought of asking her, but if she didn't, it would only eat at her, devouring her piece of mind. Taking a long sigh, she turned to the older girl.
"Why are you here Quistis?"
Quistis looked at her blankly for a moment, and then smirked "I thought we went over this on the train. I practically twisted your arm."
Rinoa shook her head. "No, not how you came to be here. Why. Why did you come with me? Any of the others could have come to keep me out of trouble."
The SeeD looked down, and then away. Silence was the only answer to Rinoa's query.
Dreading the answer, Rinoa asked quietly, "Are you still in love with him?"
Quistis began to rub her arms, as if the chill had once more settled into her bones. When she finally turned back to Rinoa, her eyes were filled with unshed tears.
"Yes."
Silence stretched between them as Rinoa digested what she had already suspected. A suspicion had been growing in her mind that Quistis still harboured feelings for Squall, feelings that were much deeper than just love for a friend. They had been spending more time together as Squall had finally relaxed around the blond instructor, now that there was no potential for romantic involvement. All platonic to Squall, but had that truly been Quistis' intent?
"I…I can't change the way I feel about him Rin. You don't know how many times I've wished that it had been me that he had danced with that night at the graduation ball," Quistis confessed quietly, lifting a weight that had been on her chest for too long. "But you have to understand, I'd never do anything to come between you." She paused to gather her strength, feeling her will to continue ebbing with every word. "I don't think it would work even if I tried. He can only see you no matter where he looks." Looking down to the fire, she whispered, "I just want him to be happy."
"Oh Hyne, Quistis I'm sorry," Rinoa began, tilting her head back, looking to the sky for answers. "I didn't mean to push it like this, I just…- is the sky getting darker?"
Her question caught Quistis off-guard. Looking skyward as well, She could see dark clouds massing and black lightning began to criss-cross the sky. Definitely not normal weather patterns. She jumped to her feet, shaking off the oppressiveness of her feelings as her SeeD training went into motion.
She held out her hand toward Rinoa. "Give me the map, quickly!"
Hurriedly reaching into her coat pocket, she brought forth the small organizer, almost fumbling it into the fire in her haste.
With a quick snag, Quistis saved the organizer from a slow melt and opened up the holographic map display.
There on the holo were two dots. The red dot was there, indicating their current position, and a blue dot, very close, indicating a SeeD homing beacon.
Rinoa bounded to her feet and stared at the projection.
"Is that him? Did we find him?" She asked tentatively.
"We haven't found him yet, but we will." Quistis replied, confidence steeling her voice. "He's still about 6 clicks from here. We could be there within the hour if we hurry."
Quickly kicking snow onto the flames, Rinoa rushed toward the chocobos even as the wisps of steam were still rising from the fire. The girls speedily mounted the great birds after only a minor fuss from Rinoa's chocobo at being subjected to her knees once again.
As the sky darkened almost to pitch and black lightning began to streak the sky, Rinoa could only hope that whatever the phenomenon was, it had nothing to do with Squall.
* * * *
They burst into the clearing at almost a gallop, forcing the chocobos as fast as they dared through the treacherous, snow covered terrain. Looking at the map, the two dots were almost completely overlapping, the red mixing with the blue to form an incandescent purple. Reining the chocobos in sharply, the girls slowly began to trot around the clearing, as flakes of white drifted all around them.
Spotting something strange covered in snow, Quistis dismounted and made her way toward the peculiarity. Bending down, she wiped fresh fallen snow from the object. Brushing one final handful away, she jumped back, startled. Glazed over eyes looked back at her from the furry head of a quite dead worg, the yellow beads staring into the distance. Looking around at the clearing, she noticed other piles of fresh snow, as well as large mounds of earth, scattered in no particular pattern. Now that she concentrated, she could smell the faint waft of burnt hair and ozone. Lightning? What had happened here?
Quistis turned to see Rinoa also dismounted and inspecting the carnage.
"There're quite a few dead fiends here by the look of it," she shouted across to Rinoa. "The map says he's supposed to be here," she once again opened the holographic display. "Do you think one of these creatures could have ripped the tracker off him?"
Rinoa didn't hear the question. Something was drawing her inexorably toward the centre of the clearing. She looked down at a large mound of snow. Something had flashed a metallic glint. Looking closer, a gasp escaped her lips as she saw a silver chain, and recognized the metallic lion's head emblazoned on the pendant.
"Squall!" Hurriedly, she threw herself to the ground and began to wipe the snow from his all too still form. "Wake up Squall, you have to wake up!" she began to shake him as tears started to run in rivulets down her smooth cheeks. Brushing away the freshly fallen flakes revealed a mass of crimson stained snow all around him.
Quistis had heard her cry from the other side of the clearing and had come running, barely even noticing the numerous mounds of snow that were obviously more dead worgs.
"Oh Hyne," Reaching Squall's body, she gently pushed Rinoa aside and quickly began to examine his body. She found a gash as long as her forearm in his side, and his shoulder was open to the bone. "What happened here?" She looked at Rinoa, fear deep in her blue eyes.
"I don't know," Rinoa almost screamed at the blond SeeD. "Quistis, he's not moving and I don't even know if he's breathing!" Rinoa couldn't comprehend how this could be happening. Everything was unfolding just like her dream foretold.
Quistis reached to Squall's neck to check for a pulse, any indication that the spark of life still burned in his body. Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear the intense beat resonating in her ears. Holding her breath, she counted in her head while she waited for a beat to pulse beneath her fingertips. A wave of relief washed over her as she felt the faintest of beats, soon replaced by the almost complete loss of hope.
On the verge of tears, she turned toward Rinoa.
"He's alive, but he's so close to death there's …there's nothing I can do." She choked back a sob and continued. "My magic just isn't strong enough to help him." Tears ran freely down her face now, as she was wracked by emotional pain. She covered her face in her hands and started to weep quietly.
"I can heal him."
Quistis brought her head up and looked at Rinoa quizzically.
"I think I can cast a powerful enough healing spell, but I …I don't know if I could control it." Looking down, she finished in a whisper, "I could kill him."
"What do you mean, you might not be able to control it?" Quistis began to question her, her voice sounding desperate.
"I mean just that. I've never had to channel that much magic before, not even when we fought Ultimecia. I can feel how hurt he is Quistis, in my mind. That much power could grow out of my control!"
"Then don't do it." Quistis looked at her firmly, determination setting into her features. "We'll get him to the town and help him there. "
"Quistis, there's no time. He'll never make it to the village. Just because you can't help him doesn't mean I can't!"
Even as the words left her mouth she wanted them back. She saw the hurt and anger on Quistis' face and knew that she had stepped over a line she didn't mean to cross.
Quistis glared at her in indignation. Fury rising in the pit of her stomach, and most of it was directed at herself. Rinoa was right. Quistis had wanted to be the one to heal Squall, to be the one who had saved him, the one he owed his life to. Realizing it made her sick to her stomach, that she could sink so low at a time like this. She cast her eyes to the still overcast sky. Snowflakes floated before her face. She looked at Rinoa with a gaze steeled by years of bitter disappointment.
"Do it."
Rinoa moved over to Squall, placing her small hands on his head. His skin was so cold, and his hair was frozen into clumps where the blood had matted his brown locks. Once she had run her fingers through those lustrous strands, reveling in the feel of it. The lips she had once kissed were ice blue. She bent down to place a kiss on those lips, salty tears mingling with the taste.
"I love you."
White light erupted all around them, searing in its intensity. Quistis had to close her eyes at the blinding light. She forced them open as she heard a gasp of breath. She saw Squall's body spasm as the healing energies washed over him in a tidal wave, knitting flesh and bone back together in a searing agony of holy light. Quistis could almost imagine she saw a face, angelic in its beauty, reach down and breathe the kiss of life into Squall's body. Just as quickly as she imagined it, the world exploded again in a bathing light, blowing Quistis on her back as the shockwave washed over her.
Light turned to darkness and then to light once more as her vision came back. Bright spots swam in her line of sight. Looking over to where Squall and Rinoa were, she saw white feathers float to the ground around the two.
Rinoa looked down to see Squall stir slightly, and open his eyes. Tears filled her vision and her voice almost broke as she whispered to him.
"Thought you could get away from me did you?" she said jokingly, a wide smile making her face luminous even as choking sobs escaped her.
Squall looked up at her, sleep threatening to draw him in before he could say a word.
"Rinoa?" he whispered, his voice weak. "I'm sorry, I should have-." He tried to continue, but she put a finger to his lips.
Smiling at him, she reached down and kissed him once more. "Just be quiet, and rest." 'Just like him' she thought, 'still trying. Near death and still trying.'
With that, Squall passed into unconsciousness once more.
Quistis slowly made her way toward the lovers. Reaching down, she put her hand on Rinoa's shoulder.
"Will he be alright?"
Rinoa looked up at the blond SeeD. "He'll be fine." she said, smiling. "He just needs to rest. He lost a lot of blood."
"Are you alright?" she asked the young brunette, "You look pretty worn out."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a …bit…woozy…" Slumping over Squall, Rinoa too succumbed to unconsciousness.
Sighing, Quistis merely shook her head.
"What am I gonna do with you two?"
* * * *
