Yet Another Dumb Teenager Falls Into Tortall
by an anonymous geek
A/N: OMG, it has been SO long since I've updated any of my stories. I have finally re-entered the world of Tamora Pierce fanfiction. Now, I've got tons of excuses for not updating (which include [but are not limited to] visiting a foreign country, my computer breaking down, demonic teachers giving me loads of homework, loss of interest in Tamora Pierce, and creating about a million other pennames).
I just revisited the Tamora Pierce section and was sad to notice that none of the old gang (which includes my old reviewers and old favorite authors) are there anymore. SO, I'm hoping that if I start updating, they will show up too. What the hell happened to Kelly Masbolle? [To Kelly, if she's reading this for some reason] Why haven't you been updating??!! You seriously need to!
Okay, enough of my rantings, and on to the story...
Disclaimer- What's the use of writing these things? It's obvious that I don't own anything... but, I guess that I have to use my traditional line, "I don't own nothin'".
Chapter Five
Darkness swirled around my head as I tried to regain consciousness. My head hurt like hell. Where was I? What just happened? Why couldn't I think straight? Those thoughts ran through my mind as my vision started to return. At first, all I saw was blurs, but then my vision finally cleared, and I saw that I was in the middle of some forest. I attempted to get up, but my arm ached because something strong gripped it. This 'something' turned out to be Joren, who was still unconscious. I punched him in the stomach, and he groaned, slowly opened his eyes (which presently widened crazily in wonderment), and jumped up, finally releasing his death-grip on my arm.
Getting up from my very uncomfortable position on the ground, I stretched out my arms and looked around at my surroundings, recognizing them immediately. We were standing right at the spot where I had originally found the amulet, right near my house. Silently, I wondered how much time had passed since I had left from home; this thought brought me to another very disturbing one: how much time had passed in Tortall since we had left? For all I knew, Sarah could already be long dead. However, I knew that it was best to not even think about that... right now I needed to only worry about what to do next. For instance, right next to me, Joren was already getting in a huff about what I had done.
"Lauren! What were you thinking?! Do you know that you just ruined my chance for becoming a knight?"
I snorted at that. "Joren, do you know that I probably just saved your life?" I said, mimicking his angered voice. "You should be thankful for what I did; with your attitude, no wonder the Chamber killed you in the books. Now, get over your little hissy-fit. There's nothing we can do about your precious ordeal at the moment."
This seemed to shut him up for a moment, but he still looked angry, so I took the opportunity and continued. "If you didn't notice, which I'm guessing you didn't, we aren't in Tortall anymore. We're on Earth; this is my world, so just shut up for the time being while I try to sort through my befuddled thoughts and decide what to do next."
I started leading the ice-prince through the woods till we came to the clearing where my house was located. Deciding that it would be best if my parents did not meet Joren until later, I started to climb the tree that was near my window. Upon entering my room through the window, I realized that Joren was still on the ground. I let out an exasperated sigh and whispered loudly to him. "Climb up the tree, you idiot!"
He rolled his eyes and climbed up and entered my room. I thanked God that I always left my window open for the times that I escaped to visit Sarah. I turned to Joren to see him looking around my room with amusement written all over his face. My temper started to boil at his mocking look. Of course, my room probably looked odd to someone who wasn't even from this world. I had a computer by one wall with a British flag behind it, a few white dressers scattered at different corners of the room, and my bed opposite the computer. My walls were covered with pictures of Tom Felton, Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, and Johhny Depp. There was a large poster of Legolas on the wall opposite the flag. I smacked Joren on the shoulder to vent my anger and frustration.
All of a sudden, I heard footsteps coming toward my room, so I shoved Joren in my closet and jumped on my bed and landed in what I hoped was a natural position. My door opened and my mother peered in. A look of relief covered her face, and she ran over to me and clasped me in a tight hug.
When she finally got over her little sappy moment, she started to get angry at me. "Where were you? We've had people looking for you for hours!" This answered my question as to how long we had been gone.
I quickly came up with an excuse; if I told her about where I had actually been, I would be sent to some hospital ward for the mentally ill. "I was heading toward Sarah's house, but I tripped over a root and hit my head hard on the ground and must have passed out." Fortunately, I had a few scratches and bruises appearing on my face from my fall here which made my story seem reasonable. My mother seemed to accept my story, so she stopped berating me and left to call people to tell them that I was alright. I wondered how people would react to Sarah's disappearance.
As soon as my mother left, Joren came out of the closet and looked as if he were going to rip me apart, limb by limb. Unfortunately, I felt as if I was going to fall apart already from weariness and exhaustion, so I just pulled the blankets from my bed over my body and pretended to fall asleep (with fake snoring and all). Then I told him, "You'll be sleeping in the closet."
He let out what sounded suspiciously like a growl. "I don't appreciate being insulted like this, Lauren."
"Frankly, I really don't care, Joren. If you want to get caught and then put in an asylum, it's fine with me. I won't defend you. I've already done enough for you as it is. So, Your Highness, the choice is all yours." I sat up and looked at him; he still looked angry, but I guess he trusted my judgment as to what to do (wow, that was a first). After all, this was my world and he knew nothing about it. He grumbled and walked back into my closet (which was thankfully empty and spacious; I never really used it), grumbling all the way. I felt slightly bad for him, so I threw one of my blankets in his direction. "You might want that; nights are very cold here."
He grunted, which must have been a 'thank you' in his own feral language. I smiled slightly and fell asleep.
~ * ~
I woke up and was slightly surprised to see my old room. Stretching, I looked around and smiled at the room that I had not seen for a long time until yesterday. Glancing toward the closet, I saw that Joren was still asleep. A devilish grin appeared on my face as I walked over to where he lay. For a moment, I just stood there, looking at his sleeping form, which seemed surprisingly angelic. However, I was not fooled by this, so I gave a small kick at his head. He jumped up and I immediately knew that I had done the wrong thing; this guy was trained for war, and he could easily break my bones. On instinct, without looking at me, he grabbed my foot and twisted. I literally went flying (A/N: I know this is physically impossible, but it happens in all those martial arts movies).
I groaned and looked up at him; he was leaning against the wall and chuckling. The nerve of him! I sent him a dirty look and started to stand up. Suddenly, his face took on an expression of anger, and I wondered what provoked the sudden change of mood.
"Never wake me up like that!" he told me. When I gave a very immature snort, he continued. "Next time, you'll regret it when you lying in pain in a puddle of your own blood!"
"Don't you think that's just the slightest bit severe, Joren? I mean, I only tapped you on the head."
"Tapped?!" His voice held barely controlled anger. "That was a bloody punt! What were you trying to do? Kick my head off?!"
"Come on, Grumpy. Let's get some breakfast. We only have a limited amount of time until my mother returns."
~ * ~
A/N: Now, REVIEW!!!! I need to get lots of reviews in order to write the next chapter. Writing looses its appeal when no one reviews. Sorry that this chapter was so short, but I plan to make the next one long. REVIEW!
~ME
