Chapter 2: Agrabah: It's a hell of a
toooooooooown!
"Yes, you see, it is your job to convert-she wiggled her antenna, creating a
sketchpad and a pointer- these! The white mushrooms!" "you mean those sissy little
things in robes? No prob"- "What do you think you're doing? We can't do this!" "hey,
when have I steered you wrong, 11237?" "Well....... Are you sure this behemoth is
hibernating? You think I can take this wyvern? I don't know, this ice looks thin." "Yes."
"well....... Now I won't. When do we"- "OOH! OOH! Can I come?" "I'm sorry sir
11762, but the white mushrooms don't have members of your, uh, size." "oh, I- sniff,
I'm gonna g-go noAAAAAAAUUGH!" "will he be okay?" "Yeah. So, when do we
start?" the GR wiggled her antenna again, producing two red caps and two white robes.
"Now!" she cried out, seconds before the two were teleported. "whoa-oof!" screamed
out 11458 before hitting the ground. "never gonna get used to that teleportation thing."
"yeah. Anyway, how do you figure we convert these white mushrooms? Or find them?
Or figure out where in Ansem's name we are? Aw crap." "Well, we do have claws, and
they're not very strong, so"- 11458, we are NOT trying to beat them up! We're trying to
CONVERT them!" "that's not what 'convert' means?" "NO IT'S NOT WHAT- WHY
DO I HANG OUT WITH YOU!? Oh, they're gonna disown us, we'll be stuck on this
scorching desert forever!" "desert? Huh! I know where we are!" "yeah, up shit creek
without a raft." "no, we're in Agrabah! That desert planet one of those morons is making
us take over! "Well, that's one problem down, but how do we find the WM's?" Suddenly,
a great rumbling sounded , and a massive shape rose out of the sand. "Oh Ansem, who
art in darkness..." "no! no, this guy has a heartless crest!" "Oh. Hey! Guy! Do you know
where the city is?" "Of course! I know this world like the back of my hand! Do you want
me to take you there?" "would you?" "Sure!" "So, what's your name, buddy?"
"Ahh...... Kurt Zisa no. 000001" "Woah..... first of your kind?" "and the last, if I have
anything to freaking' say about it! I'm an original creation!" so, no. 0000- "just 'Kurt.'"
"Alright. Do you know where we can find some White Mushrooms?" "Sorry, I don't go
into the city. The desert is my home. Speaking of the city, this your guys' stop." "Thanks
man." "What a nice guy." "yeah, but we still have to find those stupid WM's. No
problem. Those Heartless over there might help us." "I don't know, Bandit Heartless are
kind of...... iffy." "hey, just because you're a loser, doesn't mean I am. I can speak
these people's language." "Now, watch. Sup Holmes! Me and ma' boy be lookin' for
some damn white bitches!" "uh.... For rizzle?"
5 seconds later......
"RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" "Damn, damn, damn!" "Get in the hut, GET IN THE HUT!"
"Wheew. I think we lost 'em." "you dumb ass. What have I told you?" "Huh...... just
because I learn slang on the internet, doesn't mean I can use it without getting killed or
made fun of." "Good. Now, I...... HEY! I found enough money in this jar for the dark
bulb in the attic! Hmm...... now what's in this on- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH
DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS DARK AND TERRIBLE!
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?" "Hey? Is that...... changeling spider no. 112334? Is
that you?" "No. 11458! It's you? You want I should spit out this doofus?" "Yeah.....
probably. "Cool. Cough! Cough!" "OH! Oh! Oh..... kay? Who are you again?" "Well,
now I'm
Pot spider no. 1112, have been since this idiotic invasion began." "Heh, you used to be a
real "pot spider" back in Heartless academy, eh?" "Ah ha ha, those were the times." "I
don't get it." "So, what're soldiers doing here? Thought the bandits handled planet sand
up your ass." We're here to rehabilitate some White Mushrooms." "Oh, those creeps,
eh? Yeah, they come in here for meetings all the time." "Seriously? Sweet." "Yeah, but
watch your backs. These guys are CRAZY. They think the Key holds a beautiful,
benevolent power that will release them from some 'forced darkness' and return them to
the 'Old way.' "Wait, why would darkness have to be forced on some one?" "And what
old time?" "I don't know, but it freaks me out." "Well, great. But, unfortunately, we have
no idea how to convert these fanatics." Suddenly, another Heartless portal showed up,
releasing a tiny ball filled with a purple mist. A note was attached to it. "Hmm. It says.....
Dear Sirs, thank you for accepting the mission. To help you, we have given you a black
fungi gas bomb. If given off at an alleged 'moment of conversion' this gas will transform
the white mushroom into the deadly black fungi. Please enjoy your stay in Agrabah,
because if you fail, you will be abandoned here. Sincerely, Green Requiem no. 134221."
"She was cute. I might ask her out." "What have I told you about magic chicks?"
"Bouncy Wild!" "Look, I'm just saying, they ALWAYS run off with a magic dude.
"Brothers! Today, the key, and it's wondrous bearer will come to save us! We
will be released from these foul forms, and brought back to the old way!" "Oh, FUCK!
They're coming!" "Quick put on your costume!"
"Yes, you see, it is your job to convert-she wiggled her antenna, creating a
sketchpad and a pointer- these! The white mushrooms!" "you mean those sissy little
things in robes? No prob"- "What do you think you're doing? We can't do this!" "hey,
when have I steered you wrong, 11237?" "Well....... Are you sure this behemoth is
hibernating? You think I can take this wyvern? I don't know, this ice looks thin." "Yes."
"well....... Now I won't. When do we"- "OOH! OOH! Can I come?" "I'm sorry sir
11762, but the white mushrooms don't have members of your, uh, size." "oh, I- sniff,
I'm gonna g-go noAAAAAAAUUGH!" "will he be okay?" "Yeah. So, when do we
start?" the GR wiggled her antenna again, producing two red caps and two white robes.
"Now!" she cried out, seconds before the two were teleported. "whoa-oof!" screamed
out 11458 before hitting the ground. "never gonna get used to that teleportation thing."
"yeah. Anyway, how do you figure we convert these white mushrooms? Or find them?
Or figure out where in Ansem's name we are? Aw crap." "Well, we do have claws, and
they're not very strong, so"- 11458, we are NOT trying to beat them up! We're trying to
CONVERT them!" "that's not what 'convert' means?" "NO IT'S NOT WHAT- WHY
DO I HANG OUT WITH YOU!? Oh, they're gonna disown us, we'll be stuck on this
scorching desert forever!" "desert? Huh! I know where we are!" "yeah, up shit creek
without a raft." "no, we're in Agrabah! That desert planet one of those morons is making
us take over! "Well, that's one problem down, but how do we find the WM's?" Suddenly,
a great rumbling sounded , and a massive shape rose out of the sand. "Oh Ansem, who
art in darkness..." "no! no, this guy has a heartless crest!" "Oh. Hey! Guy! Do you know
where the city is?" "Of course! I know this world like the back of my hand! Do you want
me to take you there?" "would you?" "Sure!" "So, what's your name, buddy?"
"Ahh...... Kurt Zisa no. 000001" "Woah..... first of your kind?" "and the last, if I have
anything to freaking' say about it! I'm an original creation!" so, no. 0000- "just 'Kurt.'"
"Alright. Do you know where we can find some White Mushrooms?" "Sorry, I don't go
into the city. The desert is my home. Speaking of the city, this your guys' stop." "Thanks
man." "What a nice guy." "yeah, but we still have to find those stupid WM's. No
problem. Those Heartless over there might help us." "I don't know, Bandit Heartless are
kind of...... iffy." "hey, just because you're a loser, doesn't mean I am. I can speak
these people's language." "Now, watch. Sup Holmes! Me and ma' boy be lookin' for
some damn white bitches!" "uh.... For rizzle?"
5 seconds later......
"RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" "Damn, damn, damn!" "Get in the hut, GET IN THE HUT!"
"Wheew. I think we lost 'em." "you dumb ass. What have I told you?" "Huh...... just
because I learn slang on the internet, doesn't mean I can use it without getting killed or
made fun of." "Good. Now, I...... HEY! I found enough money in this jar for the dark
bulb in the attic! Hmm...... now what's in this on- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH
DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THINGS DARK AND TERRIBLE!
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?" "Hey? Is that...... changeling spider no. 112334? Is
that you?" "No. 11458! It's you? You want I should spit out this doofus?" "Yeah.....
probably. "Cool. Cough! Cough!" "OH! Oh! Oh..... kay? Who are you again?" "Well,
now I'm
Pot spider no. 1112, have been since this idiotic invasion began." "Heh, you used to be a
real "pot spider" back in Heartless academy, eh?" "Ah ha ha, those were the times." "I
don't get it." "So, what're soldiers doing here? Thought the bandits handled planet sand
up your ass." We're here to rehabilitate some White Mushrooms." "Oh, those creeps,
eh? Yeah, they come in here for meetings all the time." "Seriously? Sweet." "Yeah, but
watch your backs. These guys are CRAZY. They think the Key holds a beautiful,
benevolent power that will release them from some 'forced darkness' and return them to
the 'Old way.' "Wait, why would darkness have to be forced on some one?" "And what
old time?" "I don't know, but it freaks me out." "Well, great. But, unfortunately, we have
no idea how to convert these fanatics." Suddenly, another Heartless portal showed up,
releasing a tiny ball filled with a purple mist. A note was attached to it. "Hmm. It says.....
Dear Sirs, thank you for accepting the mission. To help you, we have given you a black
fungi gas bomb. If given off at an alleged 'moment of conversion' this gas will transform
the white mushroom into the deadly black fungi. Please enjoy your stay in Agrabah,
because if you fail, you will be abandoned here. Sincerely, Green Requiem no. 134221."
"She was cute. I might ask her out." "What have I told you about magic chicks?"
"Bouncy Wild!" "Look, I'm just saying, they ALWAYS run off with a magic dude.
"Brothers! Today, the key, and it's wondrous bearer will come to save us! We
will be released from these foul forms, and brought back to the old way!" "Oh, FUCK!
They're coming!" "Quick put on your costume!"
