HOORAY FOR HEARTLESS!

Chapter 3: kill whitey (mushroom)

"Okay, are you ready?" "Yeah come on, let's hide!" "Ah, yes, my noble brethren,

soon the pain shall be lifted and"- excuse me, why are you two here before the meeting?"

"um, well, you see, we, just...... like..... to.... Be... early?" "Ah, yes, of course, of

course! This is an important event, after all!" According to clan number 26, the majestic

key and it's noble bearer shall come this way and release us!" "uh...... WOO! Go, uh,

key guy!" "Shut UP, you idiot!" "I'm sorry, did you fellows say something?" "OH! Uh,

no." "Yes, well"- "Oh, great clan leader, He comes!" "Everyone into position!" The door

burst open, and the kh crew stood, checking out the WM's . "Wuttafu? Hm...... should

we thwacky?" "I suggest we burn 'em!" "Sir, are you sure this is him?" "Yes, although

he's...... not quite as...... heroic as I imagined." "MAAAN, does it feel good to stretch

my legs again! Do you people know it's been over half a year since that lazy slob EKOF

updated KH: Again and again?" "HEY! If you don't shut up, I'll take another six months,

and replace you, as of right now, with the "correct" version!" "fine, I'll be good."

"Anyway, what to do with these little weirdos?" "Alright, brethren, it's time for the

signal! FLOAT!" upon the apparent leader's command, the cult rose up off the ground,

except of course, for everyone's (Well, MINE, anyway) spy's. "brothers, do you not

know the signals? You must float with us!" "Oh, yeah, right. Uh, 11458, any ideas?" "oh,

yeah, it's right here in the manual." "What?' "the manual. That tells us how to do this?"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" are you telling me, that this entire time, we've had a

manual that TOLD US HOW TO DO THIS?! "oh yeah, there's a map, proper bandit-

lingo, and, here we go, how to float. Ah, seems simple enough." "KLATU, VERATA,

NIKTU!" suddenly, the two rose in the air with everyone else. "Why- Why didn't you

use that? "Dunno. Didn't seem important." "I'm going to kill you if we ever come out

alive." "Huh, now those thingamabobs are floating. Hey, you know what's funny?

Gravity. I'm a do that. Woo!" a dome of black....... Stuff (Which I'm guessing is

gravity?) appeared forcing the mushies back down. "cool. Now, let's burn them. That

always works, and it makes me happy!" "brother's! shiver like you've never shivered

before!" and, as most of you guessed, a ball of flame shot out of the Key, setting the little

bastards on fire. "Ah, screw this, let's just thwack them. "Ow! Okay, screw this, close

enough. Come clan, let's do this thing. "Shit, it's happening! Set off the dark fungi

bomb! "Okay, Okay! Oh no!" "What wire do I cut? Red or blue!?" "EITHER! WE

WANT IT TO EXPLODE!" "oh." 11458 cut the wires through, and the bomb exploded

in a blackish purple mist. "* cough * * cough * oh man, what was that! I"- "uh, Sora?

"What, don-ah?" he said, before he realized the entire room was filled with temporarily

invulnerable, poison gas shooting evil guys who were probably big jerks too. "We

should run, right?" "yeah." "calmly, or screaming, blind panic?" "screaming blind panic."

"hm.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

yelled out our (well, kh's heroes, anyway.) "SWEET! It worked! "Yeah, but what do we

know?" "We get out of these stupid costumes" "uh, I agree." "Hey! You guys must've

changed us! Thanks, man!" "Just doing our jobs." So, who's up for a random party?"

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

2 Hours later.........

"So, I was all like, I don't need your shit, bitch! That's the last time you leave a banana

peel in MY path!" "So what she'd do?" "Well, here's the shitty part: it turns out, she

had some OTHER dude, one of those, uh, power wilds? Well, he kicked MY ass, and

then I had to get my buddy 11762, and that fat sissy.......

1 hour later.........

"Dude, dude, dude. You wanna try this drug I got off a bandit?" Eh, why not?"

4 hours later......

"GAH! THEY"RE EVERYWHERE! AND GREEN!" "uh, no. 11458, aren't you worried

about your buddy there?" "heh, you should've seen him on "the planet of hallucinogenic

super-toads." "That's awesome."

2 hours later........

"So I kept calling us brethren? Dude, that's messed up!" yeah man, you were pretty

messed up!"

3 hours later........ (long party, eh?)

"You are my best friend, 11237. I-I, friggin' love you, man!" "I love you too, dude!"

"Oh, yeah, uh, one thing, I set up RN no.11235 with that wizard cause I was jealous."

"Oh, you FUCKER!"

3 seconds later....... ( now this is just silly)

"OW, okay, I'm sorry! You're messing up my best face! Uh, the uh, green things are

back?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

hours later..............

"Okay, okay, so the only reason we die, is because we accept it, as an inevitability."

"Dude, you are SO high!" "So are you!" "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

5 hours later........

"ZZZZzzzzzz...ZZZzzzzz" SHOOWomP! (huzzah for you, onomatopoeia!) "um....

Soldier missionaries?" "hello? I'm here to take you back to the ship?" "YOU! Heh heh,

you, are one good looking woman, lady." "If you weren't so boring and professional, I'd

go out with you like, uh, something." "SIR! I am...... Hey! I'm not boring and

unprofessional! I mean, err! Just wake up your idiot friend and get in the portal!"

"sheesh, liked it better when you were weirded out by our strange behavior, 'stead of

being some bitch. Hey, 111458, get up! We're going home!" "Aw, sweet! Ah, I have

such a friggin' headache! Hey, you think you could cure me?" "NO!" "what's her

problem?" "Dunno." "Whatever. Word of advice, lady: NEVER party with black fungi."

"huh..... damn drunks."