Andrea, Morgan, and any others you don't recognize are mine.
Rated R : Strong and descriptive but not explicit sexual content, including m/m contact; language; violence.
This story includes slash, which involves sexual situations between two men. If you're uncomfortable with the idea, don't read this.
Reviews are always appreciated.
He could remember waking up feeling like this before. Slowly drifting up, the sensation of a soft surface under him first, then the smell of artificially fresh air, then sounds. Breathing. A sigh, and a rustle as someone shifted positions near him. Eric opened his eyes to dim light, a blank ceiling, a small, ordinary looking, but unfamiliar room with only a few pieces of furniture besides the bed he was lying on. A chair pulled up next to him. A man in that chair, dark blond head bent over a book on his lap, reading. Eric watched for a few moments, until his eyes moved up and widened.
"You're awake!" Wes exclaimed.
"Yeah." Eric looked around again, and raised his head experimentally. To his surprise, nothing hurt. "Where is this?"
"A room at Time Force headquarters. They treated you for the memory adaptation Andrea and her crew did on you, and put us both here while you recover."
"How long have I been here?"
"Since last night. It's been almost twenty-four hours."
"I've been out for a whole day?"
"Yeah. How do you feel?"
"Not bad."
"Do you -- remember everything now?" Wes tried to sound casual, but Eric could hear his anxiety.
Eric held up a hand. "C'mere..." he murmured. Wes bent over him, and Eric pulled him down for a kiss, their lips clinging for a few seconds. When Wes raised his head, smiling, Eric stared up at him blankly and asked, "Who did you say you are again?"
"What? You don't... you can't...?"
His look of dismay was too much; Eric started to laugh. "Yeah, I remember. Time Force, Andrea, five thousand years in the future." He reached up to touch Wes's face again. "I remember you. In detail."
"You're a real piece of..."
"Of what?" But Wes's mouth was descending on his again, and they stopped talking for a time.
"You really are feeling better," Wes murmured.
"Yeah, I feel fine... Am I fine?"
"Should be. Andrea's team wiped out most of your memory, but they didn't do a very good job. That's why you got sick. But the Time Force doctors said they were able to repair the damage."
"I remember the fight with Morgan and the others... what happened after that?"
"After the fight? You fainted."
Eric scowled. "I don't faint."
"Okay, tough guy," Wes said with a smile. "You passed out."
"That's better."
"Alex caught up with Andrea. She's dead. The others are locked up. We came here to get you treated."
"Andrea's dead?"
"I wasn't there, but they told me she jumped off the roof rather than be captured."
Eric took a moment to absorb that, and then moved on. "When are we going home?"
"Probably tomorrow night, they said." A little regret was visible in Wes's face. "Are you that anxious to get back?"
"Gotta face the music sooner or later."
"I guess. But I'd rather not think about it tonight." His smile returning, Wes raised the blanket and slid into the bed with him, clothes and all. They embraced, arms around each other, kissing gently, fitting themselves together comfortably, seeking only warmth and closeness until Wes's hands moved over Eric's shoulders and back and then down and between them...
"What are you doing?" Eric inquired.
"What does it feel like?"
"Can't get enough, can you?"
"Nope."
"I hope you locked the door."
"Actually, I think they're bringing a tour group in to meet us, any minute..."
"What?"
"Hah. Gotcha."
"You're really funny, rich boy."
"I think so, too..."
Jen stood in the hallway outside Alex's apartment, putting out a hand to knock, then pulling it back again. Should she wait? Think about it? Maybe she was only acting on impulse, after the shock of finding out about Wes, and of almost losing Alex. Not fair to him, if that was all it was. It was tempting, the thought of turning around and going home. But she just couldn't do it.
She bent her head, imagining him inside, alone. It seemed like that was always the way it was; he was always standing a step away from all of them, for as long as she had known him. That was part of what had interested her in him at first, that distance and reserve, and the depths she had sensed behind it. Others called him cold, but she knew better, she had seen inside him. It was just hard for him to reach out, even to his teammates, even to her.
And how much harder had she made it? Falling in love with Wes, only a few months after Alex had apparently died, fighting Ransik. Maybe Wes had been right, and it had never been the kind of love that would truly last, maybe it had been a combination of the circumstances that had pushed them together and the fact that Wes was so different from Alex -- from the cold, distant Alex who had come to 2001 to help them. Cold and distant because he knew things they didn't. Because he had found himself faced with some hard decisions, including some that might easily have resulted in their deaths. What had he gone through, wondering what the results would be of every move he made, whether the decision he made today might be the one that killed them?
After she had ended their engagement she had never expected their relationship to resume, but it had. Never thought they could become close again, but they had. She had seen the harsh mask he so often wore soften again over the months, with her, then seen it drop back into place when Wes had reentered their lives.
And now -- she knew the truth about Wes. Had she been caught up in a fantasy, imagining they loved each other? Shouldn't she have realized he was gay? Maybe there had been no way for her to know, even as he claimed he hadn't known. But -- some signs had been there, she had to admit. He had never tried to make their relationship physical. She had assumed he was shy, or reluctant because he knew they would inevitably be separated... but now it seemed so obvious that there had been more to it than that.
She raised her hand again to knock. None of that mattered anymore. What was important now was the present. And the future. One she still hoped to share with Alex.
He was dressed for bed when he opened the door, in loose pants and no shirt. "Jen? Anything wrong?" he asked after a sharp look at her face.
"No. Not exactly." She looked up at him, trying to gauge his mood. "Am I interrupting anything?"
"No. I'm glad to have some company."
"Good. I just wanted to see you. Thought we should talk..." She took a breath, seeing him watching her again, his eyes guarded.
"Come on in." He stepped back as she entered, their bodies almost touching now, the faint scent of his bare skin drifting to her. Her heart jumped as he reached towards her, his face coming within inches of hers. But he only leaned past to close the door.
They entered the living room, the bright towers of Silver City visible through the large windows; and sat in silence, Jen on the couch, Alex in a chair, still watchful. Jen fidgeted, realizing that he was waiting for her to open the conversation. "Has Command decided what to do with Morgan and the others?" she asked finally.
"Morgan will be in confinement for a long time, after the way he tried to kill Trip and Wes," Alex said. "But Travis, Rex, and Rina suffered a great deal at the hands of mutants. They were vulnerable, and Andrea persuaded them to go along with her. They'll all go through a few years of treatment and reeducation, but I think they'll be okay."
"Good. Um... I heard Eric's treatment went well."
"So did I."
"When do you think we'll take them back to their own time?"
"Probably tomorrow, as soon as we're sure he's recovered." His brow raised. "But you knew that."
"Yes." Jen looked down, examining her hands.
Finally, he took the lead. "How do you feel about it? About Wes and Eric?"
His face was blank and unreadable when she glanced up. "It was a surprise," she said honestly. "I was angry. Felt like he had lied to me, or tricked me."
"And now?"
She shrugged. "I'm not sure. Not sure if Eric is good for him. But Wes should know better than I do. If they really love each other... well, I hope they'll be happy."
"But what about you?"
"I just told you. I hope it works out for them. That's all."
"That's not all." Alex leaned forward, his eyes darkening, locked on hers. "Are you jealous? Hurt? Still angry? Wondering how you could have fallen for a gay man?"
"Maybe I am!" Stung into momentary anger by the accuracy of his accusation, she matched the intensity of his stare, not letting herself back down. "I felt all those things, but I'm getting over them. What happened is in the past. I guess it's finally sunk in that it's over between me and Wes, has been for a long time. I'm ready to move on, this time for real. And... that's why I came here."
"What do you mean?" Alex's eyes were shuttered and watchful again as he sat back.
It was harder to say than she had anticipated. "Look, I know things went wrong between us. My fault, I know that too. I'm sorry, for everything. I don't blame you for being angry."
"Jen..." He sighed. "I'm not really angry. At least not now."
Dropping her gaze, Jen swallowed nervously and forced herself to go on. "I know now how important you are in my life. What a good friend you are, how you're always there when I need you. How I depend on you." Another glance at the blank mask of his face. "I want things to work between us, I really do; I know it won't be easy, maybe I have no right to ask, but..."
"Why?" He was still looking at her with that penetrating but unrevealing expression. "Why the change of heart? Is it because you know Wes is gay, and you can never have him?"
It was a fair question. Jen met his eyes. "No. I always knew I could never have Wes. It's because I almost lost you, Alex. Because you broke our engagement, and I realized how much it hurt. Because I thought Andrea might have killed you, and I realized how much you mean to me. They say you don't know what you have until it's gone. Now I know it's true. So if you ask why -- it's because you're the one I want to be with. The only one."
Finally he moved, getting to his feet. He took a step closer, reaching down to take her hands and lift her up to face him, raising a hand to trace her cheek with gentle fingertips. "I want us to be together too. You know that," he murmured. The mask had fallen away, revealing an emotion that made her heart beat faster. "But are you sure? I need for you to be sure this time."
She moved forward, sliding her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder, closing her eyes. After a moment, he returned the embrace, pressing his cheek against the side of her face. "Alex, no one can be absolutely sure of anything," she said softly. "Love always means taking a chance."
"I suppose you're right. I'm just..."
"Afraid? So am I. But -- for me -- you're worth any risk..." She raised her head, freed an arm and pulled him down to kiss her, her hands running down the warm skin of his back. When he hesitated, she took the lead, her tongue coaxing his lips apart and exploring between them, yielding only when his thrust back into her mouth.
Suddenly his arms were tight around her, his hands moving on her, stroking, roaming lower, pulling them together until she could feel his response through the thin material of his sleep pants. Alex raised his head, the blue of his eyes hazy now as he said in a whisper, "I love you too, Jen..." Then he lowered his face to hers again.
They said goodbye on the beach again, just Wes, Eric, Jen, and Alex this time, after spending another day in 3002 making sure Eric was fully recovered. Trip, Katie, and Lucas had seen them off; Wes had hugged each of them, and they had shaken hands with Eric. His former teammates had accepted their relationship with surprise -- except Trip -- but without question, and even seemed to be happy for them. As Lucas had told him, things would change in the next thousand years, there would be the acceptance he wished they could find here and now. Too bad he and Eric wouldn't live to see it.
Then they had come home, brought back in a small timeship. Now Wes was facing Jen again, probably for the last time. Of course, that was what he had thought twice before. He smiled, remembering; the first time he had seen her, when she bumped into him at the mall. The second time, when he had saved her from those cyclobots; the third time, when she had come to his house, and gotten so angry because he didn't believe her story of morphers and mutants. A lot of memories between them, and a lot of love, even if it wasn't the kind of love they had both once thought it was.
"Well, I guess this is it," Jen said, her smile faint but warm.
"I guess so. No hard feelings, I hope."
"Of course not." She hesitated for a moment, looking uncomfortable. "I've been meaning to apologize for getting so angry. I can understand now how it happened; why you acted the way you did with me. I remember what it's like for gay people in your time. So I can see why you didn't want to admit it, even to yourself."
"Good. I wouldn't want for us not to be friends anymore, Jen."
"We'll always be friends. And everything's turned out just fine, for both of us." She shot a brightly happy glance at Alex before stepping forward to Wes. They hugged, holding each other tight, for just a moment.
Then she smiled again, and turned to Eric. "Take care of him," she said, as he took the hand she held out. "And yourself."
"Thanks, I intend to." He paused, a trace of what could almost be shyness in his face. "It's been good knowing you."
Another moment for Alex to gravely say goodbye, then Jen was at his side, his arm around her. They hadn't said anything, but it was obvious something had changed between them, for the better. Wes stepped next to Eric and took his hand, grinning as his partner frowned -- but also returned the pressure of his fingers.
Minutes later they were alone, watching a timehole close in the night sky. Wes sighed. "Eric..." he started.
"I know. You have to go home."
"Yeah. I can't leave things the way they are with Dad. Have to tell him I'm back. Talk to him. Straighten things out, if I can."
"And it's better if I'm not there."
"I..." He couldn't say it wasn't true. "I'd rather be with you."
"But he's your father. I understand."
Wes smiled, a little. "I'll call you. If things don't work out, I may be over later."
"Good luck." Eric smiled when they kissed. But it didn't hide the bitterness Wes glimpsed in his face.
The lights were still on. Standing here outside the house was only postponing the inevitable, but he felt a dragging reluctance to go in, to pick up the threads of his life again, and face its problems. To face his father.
No point in putting it off any longer. Wes walked up to the door, found his keys, and opened it. He stepped inside, remembering the last time. Only four days ago, but it felt like a lifetime. His father had told him not to come back to the house he had grown up in -- what kind of welcome would he get now?
A soft knock on the study door, a voice telling him to come in. Another memory of the last time he had been in this room. And then his father was looking up, staring at him for a long moment before he got up. Collins came forward, hesitated, and suddenly caught him in a tight hug, just holding him as Wes closed his eyes in relief and an unexpected surge of emotion.
"Wes, thank God you're all right."
"Dad..." Wes smiled shakily when they separated. "It's good to be back."
"What happened? Where were you?"
"It's kind of a long story."
"I understand. Is everything all right?"
"Yeah, everything's fine."
Collins gripped his shoulders, looking into his eyes before speaking again. "Son -- look, I'm sorry about some of the things I said. When you told me -- it was a shock. I guess I didn't handle it very well."
"You don't have to explain."
"Yes, I do." He let go and took a step away, hands shoved in his pockets. "I've always thought I was so tolerant. So open-minded. But when it came to my own son... I couldn't believe it. Thought I would have known, couldn't believe you could have hidden something so important from me for all these years. I felt like I didn't know you anymore. I just couldn't face it... Obviously I have more prejudices than I thought.
"So I tried to convince myself it wasn't true, or that I could find a way to change it. Wondered if it was my fault somehow. Got angry when you wouldn't listen to me. Said things I didn't mean. But then; four days of wondering where you were, and what was happening to you, and whether you'd ever come back... it kind of put things in perspective."
Embarrassed, Wes looked down. "It's not your fault. Maybe I shouldn't have just sprung it on you that way."
"There's no easy way to say something like that."
"I guess." Wes looked up at him. "So -- how do you feel about it now?"
"Wes..." He seemed to search for words before going on hesitantly. "Are you sure this is what you want? Can't you try...?"
"That's not the way it works, Dad. No one decides to be gay, or straight. This is just the way I am. I can't stop liking men any more than you can stop liking women." He raised his chin and met his father's eyes steadily. "I hid it from myself, too. Spent a lot of years pretending. Almost lost my chance with Eric because of it. But now -- I'm through being ashamed. This is me, take it or leave it."
Collins blinked at that, but after a moment he nodded. "To be honest, I can't say I'm happy about it. But you're my son, and I'll always love you. If that's the way you are, I'll accept it. And I'll support you all the way."
"Thanks, Dad. That's really good to hear." Wes smiled and reached to touch his arm, fighting back a sudden and embarrassing stinging behind his eyes.
"Is -- is Eric all right? Did he come back with you?"
"Yes. He went home. We both thought I should come here alone. Dad..."
"Don't worry, I'm not going to fire him. I know I was wrong to blame him."
"Good." Wes took a deep breath and went on. "Look, Dad, Eric has feelings, too. He didn't do anything wrong, and the stuff you said really hurt him."
Collins sighed. "All right. I'll talk to him." Then he smiled, stepped forward, and dropped an arm over Wes's shoulders. "Right now -- dinner's over, but we can find something, if you're hungry... and you can tell me what happened."
It seemed strange to Eric to be back at work the next morning, as if nothing had happened, as if nothing was different. He glared at the pile of paperwork waiting on his desk. It hadn't been a pleasant night for him, even after Wes had called. While he had been relieved to know he still had a job, it had been unexpectedly disappointing when Wes had said he was staying at the Collins house. Three nights together in the last four days, even if he had been unconscious for most of one of them... That's what I get for letting myself get used to it, Eric thought ruefully. And of course, there was the question of his employer. Eric had spent a good part of the night wondering if that relationship could be repaired -- if they could forgive each other.
He looked up at the sound of footsteps, and tensed at the sight of Collins himself in the doorway. They stared at each other for a moment before Eric got to his feet and straightened to attention, and Collins shut the door behind him.
"Morning, sir," he said evenly.
"Hello, Eric." The older man eyed him with a trace of nervousness. "I assume Wes called you last night?"
"Yes, sir. It was nice to know I wouldn't have to pack up my things this morning."
"I suppose I deserve that." Collins moved forward and took a chair. "Sit down. Talk to me. And stop calling me sir."
"Yes, sir." Eric relented as Collins frowned. "Okay."
"I came to apologize." He shook his head. "It was a real shock finding out about you and Wes. I admit I still don't like the idea, but it's nothing to do with you personally. I shouldn't have threatened to fire you. Or said you're not welcome in my house. I didn't mean it."
"Yeah, you did," Eric muttered. "At least be honest about it."
"I was upset and angry. Haven't you ever said things when you were angry that you regretted later?"
"Well..." Eric sighed. "Yeah, I have. But this was... it's not the first time something like this has happened. You're not the first person who treated me like I'm some kind of freak as soon as they found out I'm gay."
"I certainly don't think you're a freak-"
"Don't you? As soon as Wes told you, you blamed me -- you turned on me, wanted to get rid of me, like all of a sudden I wasn't the same guy you've known for all this time. You should have seen the way you looked at me, like I was... disgusting..." He stopped abruptly, blinking, forcing back angry words and painful memories.
"Eric..." Collins paused, leaning forward, his face sincere. "I know you probably have a lot to be bitter about. I guess your life hasn't been easy, for a lot of reasons, and the way I acted made things worse. All I can say is that I know I was wrong, and I'm sorry."
"Well. Thanks." Eric stared down at his hands, clenching tensely together. "And I apologize too, for the things I said."
"Don't. You were right. What you said, that I should be ashamed... it really got to me. And after I cooled down, I realized how much you must care about Wes to have stood up to me like that for him. I can respect that. If Wes has to be -- uh..."
"Gay?"
Collins looked uncomfortable, but he went on. "Yes, if he's gay, I can't think of anyone better for him than you."
Surprised and touched, Eric found himself smiling. "Thanks. That means a lot, coming from you."
"Well." Collins cleared his throat and stood up. "I'd better let you get back to work. You have some catching up to do." He turned back at the door. "And by the way -- welcome home."
TBC in epilogue...
