Two Guys, a Girl, and Insanity
By: Green Strider
Summary: Artemis and Jake both skipped school on one fateful day. When they start fighting over the Gamecube controller, they find themselves not killing each other in Artemis's room, but in Hyrule trying to find a way home.
A/n: Yes, this is a Mary-Sue. But who really cares? I don't even think I'll be continuing the story from here, but whatever. Tell me what you think in your reviews.
~*~
In Miami, Florida, one 16 year old girl named Artemis was sitting at a lunch table at her high school. She was just staring into space, wanting to get the hell out of there. I mean, hey? Who wants to be in school? She had long dirty blond hair which she always kept down and it lay in soft tendrils down her upper back, her long chin length bangs lazily hanging in her face, a tan, and dark brown eyes. She really was quite beautiful, but she did not like being called it. She thought it was an ugly stereotypical word, so she got angry whenever someone called her that.
She was wearing a tight black shirt that said 'Ninja' in red glittery letters, green camouflage hip huggers, black low-top converse, and an evil eye necklace which she never took off and it was supposed to repel evil or something. She had her light black backpack hanging off of her right shoulder and it was filled with the usual: beef jerky, a c.d. player with tons of c.d.'s, her cell phone, miscellaneous papers for her classes, her keys, her watch (she shoved it in there because she was too lazy to put it on), and a black hoodie that said Trogdor with a picture of a dragon.
The girl's daydream got interrupted when one of her friends sat down next to her. Her friend had long brown hair with dark blond tips, brown eyes that were considerably lighter than hers, and light skin. Today she was wearing her 'wonderwarts' shirt, black pants, and sandals.
"Yay, we made it to Australia!" she said happily, flipping her brown bagged lunch over letting the contents spill onto the table. Just as she did that, her other friend Elydia came over and sat across from them. Elydia has auburn hair in layers up to her shoulders, the lightest brown eyes of the three of us, and light skin with a slight tan. She was wearing her 'keep staring, I might do a trick' shirt, with black baggy pants, and was also wearing black converse low-tops. She was the tallest of all of us, I was in between, and Natalia was the shortest.
"I will never understand why you two call this place Australia. We live in FLORIDA! Say it with me, Florida!" Elydia stated
"We call it that because our backs are to the wall, and there are people sitting in front of us, so if a food fight goes on, we have our own little protective barrier. You know, like the coral reef around Australia." Artemis said
"Right… so, what's new?"
"Me+geometry=evil" Natalia stated
"I know the feeling. I hate algebra. On that fated day when my parents finally accept my pleas to buy me a dragon, a flamethrower, and rice cakes, I think algebra will finally be at my mercy. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!" Artemis yelled, attracting attention from all over the cafeteria onto her.
"Rice cakes?" Elydia and Natalia asked in unison
"What? I gotta feed the dragon something."
They just shrugged and nodded. After shoving the peanut butter sandwich she brought with her for lunch into her mouth whole, swallowing in one gulp, she said, "Well, I'm outta here."
"Where are ya goin? We still have two more classes to go to!" Natalia exclaimed. She's never skipped a class before in her life.
"My next class is guitar class, which we never do anything besides listen to c.d.'s and play my gameboy, and then after that I have a free period because I have a substitute for Spanish. See? I won't be missing anything. You guys wanna come with me?"
"Naw, can't." Elydia said, "You know how much I'd want to, but remember what happened last time I skipped and got caught?". Last time she got caught she had to do a month's worth of detentions.
"And I can't go with you either. I, like most people, do not skip class even if we aren't gonna do anything."
"Suit yourselves. I'll talk to ya online later, k?" and with that, she got up, and walked out of the door to the hot humid midday sun. She decided just to walk to her house, so she could spend a little time to herself. Time she barely ever had to herself was usually wasted when people just start coming into her room and started bothering her. It has happened even more so when her older brother Brent's friend Jake started staying there because his folks are out of town. Brent and Jake always burst into her room because she was the person who owned the Gamecube, while Brent owned the PS2, and they always wanted to play games on her system.
As she walked through the front door, she sighed happily, knowing that she was the only one there. Well, at least she thought that. She ran upstairs to her room, but as soon as she swung open the door, her mouth dropped. Sitting on her bed, with her favorite wireless controller in hand, was Jake playing the Ocarina of Time promotional disk on her Gamecube.
Jake was 17 years old, had brown hair and it was long for a guy's, and he had well defined muscles, blue-gray eyes, and had a lighter tan than she. He was wearing baggy khaki shorts, regular sneakers, and a white shirt with some band's name on it. He was also wearing a watch, but that was really it. More than a few girls had tried to be her friend so they could try to get a chance with Jake. After each girl, it just got funnier.
Seeing her walk through that door, Jake automatically tried to hide the controller, but failed miserably.
"What are you doing home? You're supposed to be in school." he asked her nervously
"I could ask you the same thing." she said, getting angrier by the second, "Where the hell's Brent?"
"He went to the store to buy food and stuff. He said I could just stay here and do whatever."
"Did he now?" she asked menacingly. Even though he was a year older than her and twice as strong as her, he knew not to stand in a way when she was pissed.
"Yes." he said in his calmest voice
"As soon as he gets back, I will be committing a murder. Now give me that controller. And don't you dare try to touch any more of my stuff."
"What? Hell no!" he said, satisfied by the surprised look he received, "I just beat Ganondorf. I wanna watch the ending again."
"Too freakin bad." she said, and reached for the controller. As soon as she started gripping the controller, Jake got her into a headlock. Before he even got a chance to smirk at her, she elbowed him in the gut, and took off with the controller. As she was about to run out the door, he pulled on her arm, causing her to fly back into him. But because of the excess amount of strength he used, she got pulled into him, and he staggered into the tv while the game was still on. They both felt themselves being lifted into the air by some unseen force and all the light that once filled the room go out, leaving them with complete and utter darkness. The two held onto each other for dear life because they were scared shitless and had nothing else to hold on to. But while all this happened, neither person noticed that they dropped the controller in the process.
~*~*~
When the two were finally brave enough to open their eyes they could not believe what they saw. Whichever way they turned, they saw endless fields of green, and above them, clear blue endless skies.
"Where do you think we are?" Artemis asked
"I don't have a clue."
"Well, I'm gonna find out." the girl said, and started walking in an easterly direction. Jake, having no choice in the matter, followed her.
*Artemis's pov*
I stop dead in my tracks. I could not believe my eyes. When I glanced over at Jake, it seemed that he couldn't believe it either. Right in front of us… was a giant peahat! Not only that, but it was charging at us faster with each coming second. We were both frozen in our tracks.
"This is not gonna end well…" I whispered
"No shit Sherlock." Jake whispered back.
Just as I thought we were about to die, a sudden idea came to mind. I was still wearing my backpack! I tore the backpack off from my shoulders and swung it at the thing as soon as it started to come close. The peahat shrieked in agony, and we just laughed.
"Yes, that's it! Feel the wrath of Artemis and her deadly back pack! Buahahaha!" I screamed. Just as I was about to give it one final blow, an arrow that pierced right through it suddenly spoiled the fun.
As my gaze followed the direction of the arrow, I was amazed. Amazedly pissed! Here this dude comes along, out of nowhere and steals my thunder! He is so gonna pay. The dude was sitting on a gorgeous red-ish horse that was trotting towards us, grinning cockily at me. I don't think he even realized that Jake was there.
"Hello" the guy said smoothly. I noticed he had an English accent. He had blond hair that was brighter than mine, stormy blue eyes and he was wearing a green tunic, white tights and a tight white shirt underneath the tunic, brown gauntlets, heavy boots, a green floppy hat, and had a sword and shield attached to his back, his bow still in hand, "What were you doing fighting that peahat all by yourself? You could have gotten hurt." He said that last part in a concerned voice.
"Dude," I said as I stared at him in disbelief. I had a feeling I knew who he was, "I swear to god that if I had a missile launcher right now, your head would not still be attached to your neck."
Jake immediately covered one of his hands over my mouth, and said "Please excuse her. She isn't exactly right in the hea-EWW!!!" he screamed, instantly moving his hand from where my mouth was. It had a it mark and was covered in spit.
"Nobody puts their hand over my mouth without expecting to get a little souvenir"
The guy who trotted over to us just raised on eyebrow, obviously finding this amusing. "Do you two need help? A place t stay?"
Well, I said 'no' at the same time that Jake said 'yes', thusly receiving a glare from Jake. He gave me the kind of look that said 'do what I say now or else!'. Like hell I would!
"No, Jake, you go right ahead. I can handle this on my own."
"Do you know the land?" the dude on the horse said
"Yeah. Now leave me alone and keep the ass away from me."
"Bitch."
"Coche tu madre" I yelled in Spanish over my shoulder because I had already started walking away. I really wasn't lieing about what I said earlier. If the layout of the land was just like the game, I would be all set. I knew where everything was. I think even better than Jake who supposedly was the 'video game king'.
*Link's pov*
"What is going on."
"Me and my best friend's sister were fighting over a controller while we were skipping school and somehow got transported here."
"No, I meant what's wrong with that girl." But at least that lame assed excuse explains their clothing.
"Nothin. She's just clinically insane is all really."
"Ah."
"Do you think you can take me to the nearest town?"
"Um, yeah. Where do you think she's going?" I started to worry about the girl. She was kind of cocky and but he knew she would not make it to see the morning, with all the stalchildren running around at night. As soon as I'm done taking this guy to Kakariko, I'll go look for her.
