Sigh. I'm tired so I apologize if this chapter is slight or lacking or just a piece of shit.

Squid: YOU'RE TIRED? You're not the one who digs holes all day!

*growls* Squid, sweetie, I'm really not in the mood right now.

Squid: Yeah, whatever man...

Zero: Don't take it too personally dude, she's been acting like this all day.

*sniffs* I don't feel good, that's all.

Armpit: Awwwwww, do you need a hug?

NO!!! *ducks behind Magnet* Hide me, hide me!!!

Armpit: *frowns* I'm wounded!

*rolls eyes* Oh get over it ya big lug...anyways...here's shout-outs like always!!

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loviedove

^_^ thanks for the review!! I'm glad you love Zigzag!

ZigZag: Heh, I'm glad too! *winks at loviedove*

*rolls eyes* SHEESH!!

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AlansAngel

Hmm yeah I was thinking about that whole nickname dealio but nothing came to me!! I was thinking of 'cane' but that's a little mean I guess..

Lucy: I heart my cane!

*sighs* yes, I know ya do...anyways, Thanks for the review!!!

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electricxrain

:) your reviews are rather amusing ^_^

Squid: Hehe I'll say...mmm I think she has a fetish for pop tarts...

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Emz

^_^ glad you like it!

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GaspingLambchops

Hmm did I mention that I am in love with your pen name? I'm in love with it!!!

Squid: She called me Squiddly...*blushes*

Heheh Squiddly...very clever!!

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trucalifornian

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter...hey an I just got your penname 'true californian' at least that's what I hope it means lol I apologize if that's not what it means...I'm having one of those days.

Lucy: mmm right...

Shut up.

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Spice of Life

Hehe nosebleeds suck I get them all the time...sheesh what a nuisance...your review was funny cause it reminded me of something I would do hehehe you're funny.

Squid: and she loves me!!! Mwhahahahha

Zigzag: hey me too!

Magnet: I was in her review!

Zero: I saw my name also!! WANNA FIGHT BITCH?

*shakes head in shame* boys, boys, boys and their DAMN ego's...sigh...

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Agent DragonEye

I heart the Transylvanian accent, it was mucho funny. I promise to put Zero in it more...*muahahhaahaha crosses fingers behind back*

Zero: Hey, I saw that ya loser!

*eyes dart about* heh...love ya kiddo!

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Laura A

ZigZag: OMG I LOVE YOU!

*pulls ZigZag away by the collar* simmer down boy, simmer down. *sigh* I think I've found my biggest ZigZag fan...

ZigZag: She loves me!! Muahaha and my boxers!! MUAHAHAHA!

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Audrey

Don't ya fret Squid's comin' through soon enough...heh...even though I'm not quite sure what's wrong with him yet! Lol there's just so much wrong with the poor kid.

Squid: HEY! I'm not DEAF ya know!

Lucy: *squeal* HEY! I'M BLIND!

...er...right...

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Sakaki151363

ZigZag and Squid love you too!! Oh my poor child, you do not know what a Mary-Sue is? Oh my, are you SURE you want to know?

Mary-Sue: We're not all that bad!

*sigh* a Mary-Sue is every real author/writer's nightmare. They are the unrealistic characters brought upon by good looks, amazing talent, not to mention a great personality (funny, nice, sweet)...they are also very smart, and stand above everyone. Mainly they are just not real! Hehe I hate them...can you tell?

Magnet: Poor chica, I think everyone knows ya hate 'em.

*sigh*

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Chapter Five

"What we do in life echoes in eternity."

--Heh...got no idea...stole it off of my friend's Xanga...thanks Mel!

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My sister once told me that I had pretty eyes, they were blue and they looked like the early morning sky, but she said the only difference between my eyes and regular eyes was that mine were 'glazed over'. They didn't have a real definition to them like other people's eyes, they never focused on anything. But she would always tell me that my eyes were her favorite part about me, and I always liked when she would tell me this.

But my sister wasn't at Camp GreenLake with me. She couldn't be there to tell me I had pretty eyes. She wasn't there for me to talk to, she wasn't there for me to fight with, and she wasn't there period. And it was these times at Camp GreenLake that I would get homesick and fight back the tears that wanted to spill, and it was these times that I so longed for a friend more than anything.

"Lucy! Lucy what in the hell are you doin' in there?"

I grimaced at the sound of ZigZag's voice calling my name from outside the tent. In truth, all I had been doing was sitting on my cot thinking about my family, when I heard him calling me. I knew I shouldn't be dilly-dallying in the tent, but I'd often just wanted to be alone sometimes. I blamed it on teen-angst, suppose it was just that time of age for me. I wasn't sure...I was only sixteen, I had no idea what half of the emotions were that were going on through my head...but I didn't care...usually I would just tell Lee this kind of thing...but Lee wasn't here with me. No, Lee was back in Florida...God did I miss him.

"I'll be right out!" I called, sighing deeply. I reached under my cot to feel around for my cane and grasped it tightly in my hand. I really didn't want to get up—that was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't feel like eating dinner...not tonight. Especially the shit they fed us here—it was poison, lethal, something...whatever the hell it was it was nasty.

I was just about to get up when the tent flap opened and someone walked in. I immediately stiffened and frowned—I hated not knowing who was around me...it gave me this uncanny feeling of vulnerability that haunted the very depths of my soul. I grimaced.

"Relax, it's just me," I heard Squid say. Relief spread over me but my heart rate didn't cease to beat abnormally fast. I couldn't help it...stupid Squid. Hah, hey that sounds funny. Stupid Squid, stupid Squid, say it with me now! Stupid Squid, Stu—

"Are you okay?" I felt Squid staring at me and I couldn't help but crack up. I really needed to stop having these commentaries in my head—they were so distracting.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, lying down on my cot. "Why aren't you at dinner?"

Squid arched an eyebrow. "I should as you the same question...wasn't in the mood to eat...how 'bout you?"

I sighed. "Same deal. Why weren't you in the mood to eat?"

I heard Squid chuckle. "My, aren't we the nosy one this evening?"

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Not nosy, just curious. Well, why weren't you in the mood to eat, eh?"

I heard him sigh and sit down on the cot beside mine which was ZigZag's. "Different reasons."

I frowned...lately Squid had been acting so withdrawn. I wanted to know what was bothering him—I wanted to make him feel all better...I hated him being like this, it broke my heart...when I first met Squid he was the loud, sarcastic one out of the group. Now, he was even quieter than Zero! Okay, no he wasn't but still...pretty damn close...

"Squid," I began slowly, afraid he would get all tense and just push me away. "What's wrong?"

My question hung thick in the air as silence engulfed the two of his. I heard his steady breathing and suddenly I wanted to know what he felt like—I wanted to hold his hand, I wanted to grace my fingers across his face, anything. I just felt so useless laying there while this boy was obviously hurting bad. I didn't know what to do, and if I did know what to do I probably would have just fucked it up. I was never good in this area...

Squid cleared his throat and I knew he stiffened and I knew he was wringing his hands together nervously. I so desperately wanted to know what was going on...why was he being so distant? It was always easy to talk to Squid, never really took any effort. Then again, I didn't really know who Squid was. I'd only been at the camp for a month, yet I didn't know who he was at all and this pained me because he was the one person I so desperately wanted to know everything about.

"I got a letter from home," he said, his voice uncharacteristically raspy and uneven. I frowned. I didn't know about Squid's home life, all I knew was that he got busted for selling drugs and that's what landed him here.

I cleared my throat also and turned my head towards wherever I guess he was. "Is that good?" I asked. By the silence that followed I took that as no, it wasn't very good at all.

"Lucy," he began uncertainly. "You see, my home life...my home life wasn't great. My older brother is in jail for sexual abuse and my dad left my family a long time ago..." he stopped here, as if he revealed too much information. This news came as somewhat of a shock to me—why exactly was Squid telling me this? He really didn't know anything about me, how could he trust me?

I took a breath. "What about your mother?" I asked. Squid coughed and I frowned.

"She's not real stable..." he trailed off. I wanted to know what the letter was about—I wanted to be there for him if he needed someone, but I had no idea how exactly to tell him that. I decided to not tell him at all without getting to know him better...I needed to know who Squ—who Alan was. I wanted and needed to know so badly that it hurt. "Well, I got this letter from home telling me...well my mom had a heart attack the other day...and isn't doin' so well. She's been in the hospital for a little over three weeks..."

I didn't know what to say...what was I supposed to say? I didn't know how he felt...had no idea. Both my parents were alive and healthy...

"Oh," I managed to murmur. "Squid...I'm...is she gonna be okay?" I didn't want to say 'I'm sorry.' That's what anyone would say, that's what everyone would say. I didn't want to be like 'everyone.' I couldn't really relate to Squid's predicament. The closest situation that I could relate to was when my turtle died when I was six. His name was Teeter and I loved him. When he died, I was heart broken, and everyone said 'I'm sorry' and it made me mad. Wait—why am I thinking of this? It had nothing to do with Squid's situation...Lucy, stop it right now! Oh jeez, I need to stop thinking to myself...alright, back to Squid.

"I dunno," he muttered. "It's strange though, you know? I mean, I've always hated my mom growin' up...she's always been unstable, drinkin' all the time, goin' out at night, hardly around. And then I got the letter and it kind of woke me up and I don't know why I'm sad or disturbed, because before I got landed here this sort of thing would seem appealin' you know? Like...there was a time where I wished she was dead. And now it's finally happenin' and it's all too much and I don't know what to do cause I'm stuck here and—" He stopped abruptly and suddenly he seemed very self conscious.

He cleared his throat and I could have sworn he was blushing now if I could have seen him. "I don't know why I'm tellin' you this...I'm sorry, you could care less, I'm sorry I'm boring you. I just...I had to tell someone."

I sat up on my cot and frowned towards him. "It's not boring me—I want to know Squid. You're right; you have to tell someone...you can't keep everything so...so bottled up. I'm here to listen, okay? I'll always be here to listen. You know where to find me...it's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon." I smiled gently at him, but I'd never know if he returned the gesture.

I heard the creak of the cot he was sitting on and his footsteps neared me. For a fleeting second I thought he was going to come over to me but I heard him walk toward the tent flap of the door. He sighed. "I'm gonna go over to the Rec Room...you comin'?"

I widened my eyes at the sudden change in mood but shrugged it off. I shook my head. "No...I'm gonna just go to bed."

Squid nodded and was almost completely out of the tent when I heard him stop and sigh. "Er—Lucy?"

"Hm?"

"Uh...thanks," he said awkwardly, before hurrying away. I grinned to myself and turned on my side, finally letting sleep take its toll on me.

~*~*~

"Dig. Dig. Dig. Diiiggggggg, dig dig dig. Hmmm, digging, I love to dig, dig dig."

My hands throbbed from digging and I squinted my eyes from the blaring sun on the back of my neck. I was trying to entertain myself with a song I had made up about digging, but it wasn't working.

"I think Lucy's lost it," I heard Armpit mutter. There were several snickers and I stopped digging to glare in their direction.

"I heard that!" I yelled, but coughed when dust was thrown in my mouth. Uggh, the taste of dirt was so wrong. I rubbed vigorously at my eyes when several pieces of flying dirt got into them and I couldn't help but feel completely uncomfortable. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I'd had with Squid a few nights before...we hadn't really talked since then and I so badly wanted to talk to him, but I just didn't know how to get around to it.

"Dig! Dig dig dig dig, mmm I love to diiiiiiiiggggg," I continued to sing in my head. I was afraid to open my mouth for fear of swallowing even more dirt. I paused digging to pile my hair on the top of my head and sigh. It was incredibly hot. I didn't feel like tacking off the top part of my jump suit because I didn't want to get even more sun burnt, but I was dying from lack of coolness. It was insane how hot it got during the day, then how absolutely freezing it was at night...strange.

I was actually beginning to get a little better at digging...Squid was only having to stay about fifteen minutes after he was done digging and I was grateful everyday he stayed. Sometimes when he didn't stay Zigzag would and I was grateful...I didn't like being alone in the middle of nowhere surrounded by tons of holes just waiting for me to fall into. I grinned at the image—or rather the feeling—of me falling into a hole full of yellowspotted lizards. Heh...

I was extremely grateful when the lunch truck came around and I happily took my sandwich and sat down on the edge of my hole. I was slightly nervous about eating it though, what with all the dust in the air. I really didn't feel like experiencing the taste of dirt yet again. I felt Zigzag come sit by me and I grinned at him.

"Hello," I said happily, after I was sure I could eat my sandwich without dirt flying in my mouth. "how's your day going?"

Zigzag began to eat his sandwich and shrugged. "It's going—I'm almost finished my hole!"

I laughed but rolled my eyes. "Oh yay for you! I'm one fourth way done..."

Zigzag smirked and continued to eat his sandwich. "You look like something's bothering you," he observed. I looked up at him and frowned. How could he tell? Growl...I didn't want to tell him that I had been worrying about Squid so I decided to make up a lie, which was half true.

"I'm just thinking about Lee," I said, popping another piece of my sandwich into my mouth. "I really miss him."

Zigzag nodded. "Yeah, I know how you feel. I miss my friends back home too...haven't talked to them in so long."

I shrugged. "Why don't you write to them?"

Zigzag laughed coldly. "Right...the day I write to one of them, is the day pig's fly. Seriously, those mother fuckers, bunch of immature guys. Ehh, but I can't help but miss them sometimes."

I couldn't help but laugh and he nudged me. "Man, shut up...I don't care how pussy I sound."

I giggled and finished the rest of my sandwich. "Hey Zig, have you guys ever had another girl in you tent?" I asked. I had no idea why I decided to as him, I was just curious and the question kind of just popped into my head.

"Hm...not in our tent, but other tent's have had 'em...not too many times, just a few. I think since I been here there's only been one, but I never talked to her...I think her name was like Jenny or Ginny or something...dunno. Why?"

I shrugged and took a sip from my canteen. "Just wonderin'..."

Zigzag finished the rest of his sandwich and went back over to his hole. I wished he would stay and talk to me some more...I loved talking, and usually I really didn't care to whom I was speaking. Actually, I like to listen more, but I liked when people would talk to me...I've always loved people talking to me...all my life.

The rest of the day passed slowly by and like every other day it was just me and Squid. I heard him spit into his hole, and then grab his shovel over his arm. I wondered if he was going to leave for that vibe was just being sent off, but like every day he came over and sat on the edge of my hole, breathing slightly unsteady.

"Am I almost done?" I asked, praying that he'd just lie and tell me that I was finished. I felt him look over into my hole and sigh.

"Almost...little bit more." I glared and continued to dig.

"One of these days, just lie to me please and say that I'm done," I groaned, continuing to dig...the shovel was rough in my calloused hands and my neck was burning with sun burn. I wanted to drop the shovel and scream, but I swallowed my pride and continued to dig. I heard him snicker.

"Right," he said. "You know, you need a nickname."

I paused mid-way into heaping a load of dirt over my shoulder and raised my eyebrows. "A nickname? Like what?"

Squid shrugged and stood up, dusting himself off. "I dunno—X-Ray is good at that nickname shit. But you need one—Lucy don't fit you."

I laughed and stopped digging. "Am I done now?"

Squid peered again into my hole and grinned. "Yep! All done...hey this is the fastest you ever been done. Damn."

I smirked and felt around for my cane. "Hehe, I'm getting better!" I clasped my cane tightly in my hand and held my shovel over my shoulder. "Admit it, I'm getting better!"

Squid shook his head and helped me out of the hole, grabbing his shovel in his left hand. He sighed.

"You are still the slowest out of all of us, you loser," he said. If I had known where he was, I would have swatted him, but I decided not to. I wondered for a moment what he looked like and I wanted to touch his face, but right, he'd run away and be all scared. Stupid immature males. Sigh. I always wondered why he had befriended me, most people thinking I'm nothing more than a nuisance and annoyance. I figured there had to be SOME reason, and one in particular stuck out. I figured he felt sorry for me and thought he'd act the saint and befriend the crippled. Ahh, yes, 'tis my bitter side coming out. But I couldn't help thinking that way—anyone would think that way. We didn't live in some fairy-tale world where everyone was so wonderfully nice and treated everyone equal. No, this was the fucking real world and the chances of a seventeen year old guy befriending a blind chick was slim to none, save for the exception of Lee.

I really wanted to say something about the other night, but I knew that if he wanted to talk about he'd say something. I knew I was making a bigger deal out of everything—he confides in me just a little bit and I act like he proposed to me. All I really wanted to do was listen to him, know that he could confide in me, but I didn't know how to tell him he could trust me. We walked back to the camp talking normally about anything, and I couldn't help but realize that I was falling more and more every time I talked to him. It was almost inevitable—I was really starting to like him, and it frightened me. How would I go about anything? I knew for a fact he didn't care about me anymore than platonic feelings, and I didn't know what to do.

"Something bothering you. Lucy?" Squid's deep voice cut through my thoughts and I grimaced. We had already reached camp and my thoughts had carried me away...that happened way too often. I nodded and shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I couldn't tell him what I was REALLY thinking about, I wasn't stupid or naive. I wasn't about to be rejected, so keeping my feelings to myself seemed best. Plus, I wanted to get to know him better and know what he was really like, I wanted to make him laugh and make him smile, and know that I could care for him, despite the irony of it all.

"I'm going over to the Rec Room, you coming?"

I grinned. "Yep—cause you know I have such a big choice of what to do in my leisure time and all," I grumbled, wishing there was something else I could do instead of go to a dilapidated living room where a bunch of guys were loud and obnoxious. Squid snorted and took hold of my arm to lead me to the Rec Room. I sighed as he tugged me along, hoping that wouldn't be the last time he touched my arm.

~*~*~

OKAY I HAVE A PROBLEM!! I really want to get Squid and Lucy together, but I have NO IDEA how I go about doing that!! I know what I want to happen in the story, but it's just that fucking transition!!

Lucy: Hm, make it all dramatic!

Squid: How 'bout I just bang her and that's that?

Lucy: *growls* How 'bout I just stick my cane up your—

WHOAH! That's enough...Lucy your cane is to help you get around, not harm anyone's...ahem. RIGHT! Anyways, review please, and any ideas are much appreciated! I'm at a somewhat writers block here!! EEEP!!!

Zero: Eeep? Hm...okay...no candy for you tomorrow.

*sobs* B-but...it's EASTER!!!

Oh yeah, by the way, HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE!! God Bless. :)

Zigzag: Aww wasn't that sweet...

*growls* screw you.