Chapter 14

"Draco, I know I serve the best damned food in the world but having dinner here three nights in a row is insane!" Chip said when he saw Draco enter Chip's kitchen. He had not felt like eating in public so he had been having his dinners in the kitchen.

"Yeah, well. I didn't feel like cooking tonight." Draco answered back, sitting on one of the stools by the counter. When he got home that evening and went to his kitchen to prepare dinner, he saw Potter and Hermione through her kitchen window which was directly across his kitchen window. They looked cozy and comfortable as they prepared their dinner. He left his apartment before he started throwing things.

"Sure, and I'm the Queen Mother."

"Whatever you say, Your Highness." Draco smirked.

"Stop evading the issue, boy. What's the matter?" Chip said, standing right in front of Draco.

"Nothing's the matter. Can't a man have dinner with an old friend three successive nights?"

"Sure he can, if he's been kicked out by his woman. And that's it, isn't it. Your woman's kicked you out."

"I don't have a woman and she can't kick me out because she doesn't live with me, remember?"

Chip smiled at Draco's slip. So it was about Hermione. Time to take the big guns out and get the boy to spill his guts.

"So what did you do to Hermione?" Chip asked.

"What?!? I didn't do anything to her. Why would you say something like that?" Draco exclaimed, blocking the images in his mind of the things he did do to Hermione four nights ago. Merlin, and the things she did to me!

"Then why aren't you with her right now? Fess up, kid. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"From the look on your face, it sure seems like something did happen. Something major. What happened? You finally bed her and now you're afraid of emotional involvement?"

"I will not tolerate you talking about Hermione that way, Chip." Draco said coldly. "I don't care for your insinuations."

"I wouldn't be insinuating anything if you would just tell me, you know. C'mon, Draco. Who knows, I might be able to help you sort things out."

"No one can help." Draco mumbled dejectedly.

"Maybe, but I will try my best to help. And maybe it might work?"

Draco sighed. There's no arguing with Chip, and he knew that the older man would eventually badger him anyway and a part of him wanted to talk to someone. He was getting desperate. Three days of hardly seeing Hermione and he was still in as much pain as he was when he left her that morning. He thought that a little distance would help and that eventually, he would be able to talk to her again without wanting to either take her to the nearest bed or the nearest church. He told himself that he needed to distance himself from her for a while so he could fully accept losing her to Potter, and that eventually he would be able to accept his place in her life.

But it wasn't working. He had tried working himself to death. He had tried drinking himself into oblivion. He had tried picking some woman up the other night and then backed out of it because the thought of touching someone else made him want to retch. He thought that his actions this afternoon were enough. That the symbolic bowing out he did when he gave Potter unsolicited advice was enough to convince himself that he was had accepted his loss. But the sight of them preparing dinner in her kitchen tonight -- That should have been ME! I should have been the one with her, cooking dinner. The smiles she flashed at Potter should have been MINE! She should have been mine.

"She's cooking dinner with the man she's in love with right now." Draco blurted out.

"Impossible. You're here." Chip replied, clearly confused.

"I'm not the man she's in love with." Draco frowned. Why was Chip being deliberately daft?

"Could of fooled me."

"What?" Draco looked at Chip.

"Jesus, Draco, are you blind? That girl is so in love with you, she glows so much that it hurts my eyes whenever she looks at you."

"No, she's in love with Harry Bloody Potter. She says she's not but she is."

"Who's Harry Bloody Potter?"

"The idiot git she was in love with at Hog- when we were in school. He was too stupid to see what he had right under his nose that he didn't realise her feelings for him until about a month ago. Now he's back in her life, in her kitchen, cooking dinner!"

"So what? You've been in her life all this time."

"You don't get it... Back then, the two of them were really close, bestfriends you know... And I... well I was the bloody prat who made their lives a living hell... Oh I know Hermione's forgiven me for it and we're friends now and all... But he's fucking Harry Bloody Potter, how can I compete with that?"

"Who's Harry Bloody Potter and how come I've never heard of him?"

Draco was stunned for a bit. Sometimes it still surprised him that in the world where he lived in now, Harry Potter did not mean anything.

"He's ... in school... he was the greatest wiz... whiz kid, you know. Think Beckham and what he is here in Britain. That's what Potter was like in school."

"Couldn't be all that great if he could let a girl like Hermione slip through his fingers." Chip shrugged. "I don't care who that Potter bloke is, all I know is that your Granger lights up like a Christmas tree everytime she sees you, and that's enough for me to know that no matter how great that Potter is, you're the one she loves."

Draco laughed to keep from crying. How he wished Chip was right. "It's no use, Chip. Thanks for the effort, but I know when I've lost."

"How can lose at a game you've not even bothered entering, Draco?" Chip asked.

"What do you mean?" Draco looked up, temporarily jolted out of his depression.

"You're obviously head over heels in love with your Granger, right? No keep your snide comments to yourself and listen up. And you obviously haven't bothered to check with her about her own feelings for you. You just assumed that she couldn't possibly return your feelings and that she obviously loves this Potter chap. I never knew you to be so stupid, kid." Chip said.

"So what are you saying? I should go there and admit to her what I feel? I can't do that! I know she doesn't feel the same way and my admission would only make her feel bad and sorry for me and that would ... that would ruin our relationship. I can still be her friend and her neighbour -- and I can only remain that way by not telling her how I feel... Besides, she deserves to be happy and ... and Potter can make her happy... I mean, he's the one she's always loved. How can I stand in the way of that?" Draco said desperately.

"How can you be so sure that she doesn't return your feelings, Draco? I know what I've seen between the two of you and I will bet my secret Beef Pot Pie recipe that that girl is as much in love with you as you are with her." Chip stated.

"I'm not sure... I know that she might have feelings for me ... we... uh... well I just know that she might have feelings for me... but I'm not sure. And with Potter back, I'm pretty sure that whatever feelings she might have had for me would be easily forgotten... And I can't risk it." Draco said dejectedly.

"Then you're a coward, Draco." Chip shook his head. "Get one thing straight, you lost your Granger not because you're thinking about her happiness. You lost her because you're too chicken shit to do anything about it."

"No! I really want her to be happy. Happily ever after with Potter was what she has always wanted. She deserves to have that. Merlin knows she's waited long enough for it." Draco argued.

"Bull. You're hiding behind that. You don't want her to be happy. You just want to keep yourself safe. Get the illusion that you're some self- sacrificing martyr out of your head, kid. Because you're not. All you are right now is a man with his tail tucked in between his legs, cowering at the thought of rejection." Chip said candidly.

"Dammit! I'm not a bloody Gryffindor!" Draco yelled.

"What's a Gryffindor?" Chip asked.

Draco paused as he realised his slip. "Uh... they're this really annoying bunch of people in school... known for being brave and adventurous... Hermione's one of them." He explained weakly.

"Then maybe it's time you became a Gryffindor." Chip suggested.

"I can't, I'm a Slytherin, for crying out loud!" Draco exclaimed, forgetting to check himself again.

"OK... what's a Slytherin?"

"It's... uh... it's the ... uh... group I belonged to in school... we were the dark and brooding and disturbed ones." Draco said.

"Ah. That explains your knack for self-pity." Chip nodded. "Well, isn't it high time you got over school, kid?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the way I see it, the reason why you're here right now instead of Hermione's kitchen, cooking dinner with her, is that you're too caught up in what you were in school. All this Gryffindor - Slytherin crap may have been what defined you when you were in school, but you don't have to buy into that crap anymore. You're not in school anymore. You don't always have to be the dark and brooding and disturbed one who loses to the highschool star." Chip said.

Draco thought about Chip's words and remained silent. "What do you think I should do?" He whispered tentatively.

"Go be a Gryffindor."

~~~~

Hermione was sitting on his front porch when he arrived home from Chip's.

"Hi." She said shyly at him.

"Hi." Draco answered, still trying to recover from the sight of her on his doorstep. Dammit, I was supposed to have time to prepare a grovelling speech before seeing her again.

They stared at each other for a long time before Hermione took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She stood up and said, "I have something to tell you, Draco. Will you listen?"

Draco's throat refused to work, perhaps because his heart was stuck in the middle of it, so he just nodded.

She cleared her throat. "I... I don't know what's going on with us right now. I don't know why you've been so... distant. But I have an idea why. Actually, two theories. The first theory is that you're upset because of Harry's visit. But I don't know why you'd be upset about that because you know how I feel about him. I'm not in love with him anymore. I haven't been in a really long time. I hope you believe me when I say that. Or maybe you're upset because you don't like Harry. Well there's no maybe about that. You don't like Harry and the feeling is mutual, I'm sure. But you don't have to like him and he doesn't have to like you. I'd still be your friend even if you don't like Harry. And I'll still be Harry's friend even if you don't like him. And I wish you'd both just grow up about that whole thing and get over Hogwarts... No, don't say anything yet. I need to get this all out before I lose my nerve... Well, my second theory is that you changed your mind about... well about what happened... with us... you know... and that's ok. I mean, I'll understand if you don't want to be with me like that. We can still be friends, right? Because I've missed you these past three days. So even if it means that we... we won't be together that way anymore, I want you to know that I won't disappear the way I disappeared from our world years ago. I'll still be here. I promise. So that's it, I think... My point is that whatever the reason is for your distance these past three days, I'll understand. And I won't disappear."

Draco's heart twinged as he watched and listened to her. He was awed by the courage that it took for her to speak to him that way. Just as he felt guilty for the self-doubt he had inflicted on her. How could she even think that I don't want to be with her? That I don't love her? Then he realised that the remnants of the old Hermione, the one who didn't think any man would fall in love with her, had resurfaced when he distanced himself from her. And he wanted to kick himself.

"Dammit, Granger. I was all set to be a bloody Gryffindor and you go and ruin it!" Draco said the first thing that came to mind.

"What?" Hermione looked up at him, confused. Whatever it was she was expecting from Draco after what she said, this wasn't it.

Then the words started rushing from his mouth, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm sorry I was so bloody daft. I was afraid, you see. I've been afraid eversince the Gala... I knew your friends couldn't stay away from you that long and that if they came back into your life... well, I was afraid that it would take you away from me... and you're right about the Potter theory. I know you've told me that you don't feel that way about him anymore. But I wasn't sure. I mean, he's Harry Bloody Potter and I knew how you loved him then... So that morning, when his letter arrived, I thought for sure that it meant there was no hope for us to be together. And it hurt, Hermione. It hurt like you wouldn't believe. So I told myself a little distance would help, you know. It would get me out of you hair and at the same time, it would give me space to get over you so I won't hex Potter when you and him finally get together. I thought that was what you wanted... So I was stepping aside so you could have your happily ever after... It's stupid, I know, and I'm sorry. And then Chip... he made me realise that I was being a bloody coward and that I should be a Gryffindor and just tell you how I feel...Your second theory's wrong, by the way."

They both went quiet after that, digesting the words they had exchanged. Finally, Hermione sniffed and that spurred Draco into action. He strode to stand right in front of her to wipe her tears. "I'm sorry for making you cry, Granger. I was a bloody idiot. And I know I don't deserve it but will you let me make it up to you for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes. And just so you never have any doubts about my feelings again, Malfoy: I love you." She reached up and pulled his lips to hers. Merlin, is it possible to be this happy?

"I love you, too, Granger." He said before claiming her lips and carrying her inside.

~~~~

"So how did it go with Potter?" Draco drawled, brushing a stray curl off Hermione's forehead. They were laying on their side in his bed, facing each other.

"Hmm?" Hermione mumbled, clearly not yet fully recovered from their activities during the last hour or so. How could he expect me to talk about my day with Harry after what he had just done to me? Merlin, I am never going to be able to watch him eat without having a heart attack.

"Granger, focus." He chuckled, thoroughly pleased that he had pleased her so much she couldn't even answer a simple question. He traced her lips with his finger, loving the satisfied half-smile she had on, knowing that it was all because of him.

"Hmm?" She snuggled closer to him, burying her face on his chest and inhaling. She didn't think she'd ever tire of the way Draco smelled.

"You said that already," He smirked, but held her close to him, running his hand down her back to her hips to press her against him. Damn, she feels good. "Granger, don't fall asleep yet, I want to talk to you."

"What about?" She murmured, looking up at him, catching the expression of extreme male satisfaction on his face. We'll see about that.

"Ah, she speaks." He smiled at her, trailing his hand back up to her nape to push her face closer to him. He captured her lips in a soft, wet kiss, his tongue thrusting deep into her mouth. She straddled his hips as she pushed him on his back, taking control of the kiss by nibbling and sucking on his tongue until he groaned in pleasure.

"I love you," she whispered when the kiss ended.

"I love you, too." He said, pulling her back down for another kiss, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. "I thought you wanted to talk, Malfoy. So talk." She smirked at him.

"You expect me to talk now?" He groaned, arching his hips towards hers to let her know that he had other things in mind aside from talking.

"No, you said you wanted to talk." She said, pushing herself up so she was sitting astride on top of him, giving him a good view of her front. When his hands moved up to cup her breasts, she grabbed them and placed them on her waist, her hands holding his in place. "C'mon, Malfoy. What did you want to talk about? My day with Harry?"

"I changed my mind." He said, trying to move his hands from under hers.

She ignored him. She wanted to tease him a bit more, reveling in the feeling of intense female power. She deliberately used the same tone that she did when she was spouting off facts from Hogwarts, A History, when she said: "Well my day with Harry went very well. We had tea. Oh, Mum dropped by, she brought your favourite Russian Tea Cookies. I'll give them to you tomorrow. Anyway, he stayed for dinner and then he left. We made plans to have dinner with Ron and Ginny sometime next week at Hogsmeade. Anything else you want to know?"

"Dammit, Granger. Can we talk about that tomorrow? When we're dressed? When we're not in bed? When you're not naked on top of me?" He whined.

"But you were the one who wanted to talk, Malfoy..." She said, putting on an expression of wide-eyed confusion. He gritted his teeth and groaned in frustration, and she decided to take pity on him. She released his hands so she could bend forward, bracing herself on the bed with her hands, her face a few inches away from his. She leaned down to kiss his softly, moaning when his hands found her bottom and squeezed.

"No one can prove a point like you can, Granger." He said, when she had finished kissing him, moving his hands up to cup her face gently.

"And what point would that be, Malfoy?" She said, her mouth finding his left ear and nibbling on it.

"That any illusions I might have about me being in control are nothing but that." He chuckled, cupping her breasts and squeezing gently.

"I do love an intelligent man," she smirked, then smiled genuinely at him. "But if it makes you feel better, Malfoy, I'm not in control either."

"Could of fooled me," He said, before pulling her face back down to kiss her deeply. "It's OK, Granger, we'll take turns."

"So whose turn is it now?" She asked, planting soft kisses on his jawline.

"Well you started this round, so I guess it's yours." He smiled, arching his neck to give her more access.

"I was hoping you'd say that." She smiled back before kissing her way down his body.

~~~~

"Did you say you were having dinner with the Weasel next week? Are you sure that's safe?" Draco asked from out of the blue, lifting his head up from the pillow to look at her. They were settling down for the night, thoroughly satisfied but exhausted and more than ready to sleep, when he remembered what Hermione told him when she was so sexily straddling him.

"Mmm. Yes, I did. And yes, I think it's safe." She answered, sinking deeper against Draco, who was spooned from behind her. "And please stop calling him that."

"I don't know, Granger. That one's got a nasty temper." He said, tightening his arms around her.

"I know more hexes than he does, and Harry and Ginny would be there to stop him from doing anything." She assured him.

"But what if they can't. He's taller than Potter and Ginny put together." He argued.

"Malfoy, I doubt Ron's going to physically harm me. Yes, he has a nasty temper and yes, he yells a lot. But that's all just steam. Once he slows down, and realises how awful he sounds, he goes back to being laidback. It's really just a matter of riding out his tantrums." She said.

"But when he accuses you of shagging Malfoy just to prove you're more than a Brainy Girl, what would you do then?" He countered. "And you know he will accuse of that once again before that night ends."

"Well if he accuses me of shagging Malfoy, I'll tell him yes, I am and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me." She giggled. "And then I'll tell him that he got my motivations wrong because I'm shagging Malfoy because I love Malfoy and I'll hex anyone who tries to convince me otherwise."

"I was afraid you'd say that." He said.

"Why? You don't want me to tell them to truth?" She turned her head to look at him.

"I want you to tell the truth. I want you to shout out the truth from the top of the Astronomy Tower so everyone would know that I am completely and utterly yours and vice versa. What I don't want is for the Weasel to attack you for telling him the truth. His temper worries me, to be honest. So I think you should take me to that dinner to make sure that the Weasel doesn't harm one hair on your body." He stated.

She turned around to face him. "Malfoy, if you want to be invited to that dinner, just say so." She smirked. "But seriously, what is this about? Are you having doubts again about my old friends taking me away from you? Or about Harry? What?"

"Well, no... not really. It's just that all of a sudden your entire life is opening up to places that I know I'll never be welcome." He replied. "And for the past few years, it's just been the two of us, mostly. And I guess I'm a bit worried about that you'll eventually realise that you want to go back fully into the Wizarding World and then leave me behind... does that make sense?"

"Oh, Draco." She said, hugging him. "I love the life we have. I love how we're able to balance our Muggle lives with our wizarding lives. I do, and while renewing my old ties to the wizarding world would mean that I would probably be spending more time in that world, you are more than welcome to join me. I mean it. Even if I have to face glares from every Gryffindor who would be aghast at my involvement with a Slytherin, or from every witch who would be green with envy at my pure luck to have the sexy Draco Malfoy, I will always be happy to stand beside you. Never doubt that. You are welcome to both and all aspects of my life. It's your call which parts of my life you want to be more involved in."

"Are you sure? You're not worried about sullying your reputation by being associated with a Malfoy? We're a bad breed in the Wizarding World, you know." He asked tentatively and shyly.

"Merlin, Malfoy. Didn't I co-author a book with you? I've already associated myself with you. Of course, I'm sure." Hermione assured him.

"Really, really sure?" He asked one last time.

"Yes!" She nodded.

"Prove it." He smiled.

"How?" She looked at him tentatively.

"Attach your name to mine. Marry me." He looked deep into her eyes.

"I beg your pardon?" She said tentatively, not daring to believe what she thought she just heard.

"Attach your name to mine. Marry me." He repeated.

"I thought that's what I heard the first time. When?" She smiled at him.

"Your call. Tomorrow, if you want."

"No, I'm only doing this once so I'm going to do it right. I'll let you know when." She leaned over to kiss him tenderly. Then she realised how this proposal started. "You sly, calculating Slytherin! You weren't worried at all about Ron!"

"Merlin, of course not." He laughed. "I've had the honour of being slapped by you, Granger. If anything, I should be worried about the Weasel. My face was numb for weeks after you slapped me."

"You do know that I would have responded the same had you proposed more conventionally, right?" She smiled at him.

"Yeah, but I wanted to give you a nice story to tell our grandchildren about how their super cool grandfather proposed in a really super cool way." He smiled smugly.

"You want me to tell our grandchildren that you proposed to me while we were naked in bed? And without a proper ring?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned down to kiss her slowly, and then said: "Sure, that way they would know that a true Slytherin and Malfoy does not need props to pull off a successful marriage proposal."

"Ah yes," she smiled smugly, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing herself against him. "But only a true Gryffindor and Granger would be able to get said Slytherin and Malfoy to propose in the first place."