Chapter 2: Her "Perfect" Life
Is Me
Within my soul, The darkness creeps in, Do not feel sorry for me, I deserve this darkness. I must deserve this, I am nothing in this world, I am just a girl, No one looks at me. I don't deserve their love, I don't deserve their eyes, I don't deserve their comfort, I am evil. I must be, If I wasn't then the darkness wouldn't be creeping in, I wouldn't feel this unreserved bleak unfathomable darkness, Seeping into the center of my once beautiful soul. I fight the darkness, But I can't win, I am weak; yes I am this irresolute insignificant thing, Are you surprised? I play the part of someone strong, I play the perfect part, No one has seen my deep lonely sadness, No one has seen what must be an evil heart. I must be evil, Because I can no longer feel, Isn't that what evil is, A person without a heart to feel a person with a soul that died. So what do I do now? What can a person do who can not feel? When did I forget how to love? When did I forget how to cry? But I can't hurt anyone, That isn't who I am, But now I don't even know who I am, So the only person I can hurt is me.
Author~ Jessica R. (aka Dream Serpent)
"I am sorry Hermione," Draco said not knowing what to say to her.
"Sorry?" She laughed bitterly and started to say something but Draco cut her off.
"Do you want my pity?" Draco said in voice like that was some sort of a joke. Then he realized he made a mistake in seeing the dark look in her eyes.
"Pity?" She said again just as bitter, "No, Malfoy I don't want that from anyone. I don't want people to think me as a poor little girl." She pulled up her sleeves and reveal hand shaped bruises on her arms. "I don't want to hear 'That poor little girl' her parents beat her until she is almost dead. Poor little girl, her parents tell her that she was a mistake and wished they could aborted her. Poor little girl, she had never celebrated her birth even with her friends. Poor little girl, she must clean a 10 bedroom house everyday. Poor little girl, her daddy was board so he broke her arm in three places. Poor little girl, she said "but" to her mother once when she was 5 and got stabbed through the leg. Poor little girl, sometimes she is left for weeks in the basement with no food and little water." Then she pulled down collar of her sweater and revealed a dark hand shaped bruise there too. By this time tears where streaming down her face freely now. "Poor little girl, raped by her older brother who she thought would be her salvation. He came into the bedroom and held her down and raped her. Poor little girl, her parents scolded there son and told his to be quieter the next time. No I don't want there pity." By this time Hermione Granger had sunk to the floor and was shaking. Draco came over and sat on the floor next to her and pulled her into his arms. At first, she had flinched but he didn't move. She slowly relaxed then she looked up at Draco. "You know what the worst thing of all I still love them." He looked at her with utter surprise. "How? They are the only family I have ever known."
Draco picked Hermione up and moved them to the couch. He did know what to say and then he asked,
"What happen that night when you brother..?" He trailed off. Hermione sighed and began to tell him, for some unknown reason, what happened that night.
It happened in the middle of July. It had been a good day, my bother came home and my parents where happy. Since their beloved son was home, they did pay me any mind. My brother, Alexi, is seven years older then I am. This makes him 23 now. Before he went to college is wasn't as bad he seemed to keep my parent's focus on him. Things got worse after they found out that their daughter was a witch. Well anyway I was lying in bed thinking about how nice of a day that it had been. They barely even talked to me. Then I heard my door open and Lex, that is what I call him, came in and laid down in bed next to me. This in itself wasn't weird because we did it as kids when one of us had a problem or something.
"Hermione is there something wrong?" He asked and I started to sob and he wrapped his arms around me.
"Everything is wrong Lex," I started, "I can't make mom and dad proud of me no matter how hard I try, I am seeing less and less of my friends because I am doing so much schoolwork, and people make fun of me because I am ugly." I rolled on my back and stared at him. He ran his fingers of his right hand along my cheek.
"Those boys are blind Hermione," He said, "You are stunning." I smiled up at him. He shifts himself so that he is more on top of my body then next to it. He runs his fingers through my hair. "Your skin is smooth and your hair is so soft." By this time his face was close to mine and I try to move but he added more pressure to my body with his. I felt fear grip at my heart. He closed the distance between our faces and kissed me. I try to pull away but I can't and he uses his tongue to open my mouth, to which he slips his tongue inside my mouth. Finally he breaks the kiss. "You taste so sweet." He tells me and starts to unbutton my nightgown.
"No, Lex." I said as I try to push him off, "Stop I don't want you to do this." He didn't listen, he just took his belt off and tied my hands to the bed. Then he finished taking off my nightgown and then he tore off my underwear. He kissed me again this time with more force. He stripped off his clothes and then lay, on top of me. He touched my all over before finally entering me. It hurt so much! After what felt like an anon he finished and pulled out of me. He lay next to me for a while stroking my hair. Then pulled his pants on and grabbed his shirt. He leans down and kissing my cheek and whispers,
"I love you." And then he left.
Hermione gave a sigh as she finished her story. She leaned her head against his chest. She felt dampness in her hair and she looked up and found Draco crying. He look down into her eyes and felt his heart break.
"I am sorry about what I said today I truly am," He said, "It just you said I was like my father and I would never want to be like that fucker." Hermione giggled at his name for his father and he smiled too. Then she frowned and sighed again.
"But you were right." She simply stated. He realized what she was talking about.
"No, Hermione you don't belong to him." He said.
"He came back every night after that," She said her voice sounding dull.
"We will go to Dumbledore and tell him." He started but Hermione cut him off.
"No, you can't tell the teacher!" She said while pulling herself from his arms to stand up. "No one can know. My parents would try to kill me and Lex would take me away. He said he would if I told what happened. Promise me Malfoy that you won't tell. Promise me!" By this time Hermione was going into hysterics.
"I won't tell Hermione." Draco said softly. Hermione calm down as soon as she heard him say her name. She sat back down and laid her head on his shoulder her face turned toward his neck. He wrapped his arms around her once again.
"Thank-you Draco." She said softly. Draco felt a shiver go down his spine, but it was a good kind of shiver. He didn't know if it was because she was in his arms, or her warm breath, or because she said his name. As Draco drifted off to sleep he figured it was all of the above.
Is Me
Within my soul, The darkness creeps in, Do not feel sorry for me, I deserve this darkness. I must deserve this, I am nothing in this world, I am just a girl, No one looks at me. I don't deserve their love, I don't deserve their eyes, I don't deserve their comfort, I am evil. I must be, If I wasn't then the darkness wouldn't be creeping in, I wouldn't feel this unreserved bleak unfathomable darkness, Seeping into the center of my once beautiful soul. I fight the darkness, But I can't win, I am weak; yes I am this irresolute insignificant thing, Are you surprised? I play the part of someone strong, I play the perfect part, No one has seen my deep lonely sadness, No one has seen what must be an evil heart. I must be evil, Because I can no longer feel, Isn't that what evil is, A person without a heart to feel a person with a soul that died. So what do I do now? What can a person do who can not feel? When did I forget how to love? When did I forget how to cry? But I can't hurt anyone, That isn't who I am, But now I don't even know who I am, So the only person I can hurt is me.
Author~ Jessica R. (aka Dream Serpent)
"I am sorry Hermione," Draco said not knowing what to say to her.
"Sorry?" She laughed bitterly and started to say something but Draco cut her off.
"Do you want my pity?" Draco said in voice like that was some sort of a joke. Then he realized he made a mistake in seeing the dark look in her eyes.
"Pity?" She said again just as bitter, "No, Malfoy I don't want that from anyone. I don't want people to think me as a poor little girl." She pulled up her sleeves and reveal hand shaped bruises on her arms. "I don't want to hear 'That poor little girl' her parents beat her until she is almost dead. Poor little girl, her parents tell her that she was a mistake and wished they could aborted her. Poor little girl, she had never celebrated her birth even with her friends. Poor little girl, she must clean a 10 bedroom house everyday. Poor little girl, her daddy was board so he broke her arm in three places. Poor little girl, she said "but" to her mother once when she was 5 and got stabbed through the leg. Poor little girl, sometimes she is left for weeks in the basement with no food and little water." Then she pulled down collar of her sweater and revealed a dark hand shaped bruise there too. By this time tears where streaming down her face freely now. "Poor little girl, raped by her older brother who she thought would be her salvation. He came into the bedroom and held her down and raped her. Poor little girl, her parents scolded there son and told his to be quieter the next time. No I don't want there pity." By this time Hermione Granger had sunk to the floor and was shaking. Draco came over and sat on the floor next to her and pulled her into his arms. At first, she had flinched but he didn't move. She slowly relaxed then she looked up at Draco. "You know what the worst thing of all I still love them." He looked at her with utter surprise. "How? They are the only family I have ever known."
Draco picked Hermione up and moved them to the couch. He did know what to say and then he asked,
"What happen that night when you brother..?" He trailed off. Hermione sighed and began to tell him, for some unknown reason, what happened that night.
It happened in the middle of July. It had been a good day, my bother came home and my parents where happy. Since their beloved son was home, they did pay me any mind. My brother, Alexi, is seven years older then I am. This makes him 23 now. Before he went to college is wasn't as bad he seemed to keep my parent's focus on him. Things got worse after they found out that their daughter was a witch. Well anyway I was lying in bed thinking about how nice of a day that it had been. They barely even talked to me. Then I heard my door open and Lex, that is what I call him, came in and laid down in bed next to me. This in itself wasn't weird because we did it as kids when one of us had a problem or something.
"Hermione is there something wrong?" He asked and I started to sob and he wrapped his arms around me.
"Everything is wrong Lex," I started, "I can't make mom and dad proud of me no matter how hard I try, I am seeing less and less of my friends because I am doing so much schoolwork, and people make fun of me because I am ugly." I rolled on my back and stared at him. He ran his fingers of his right hand along my cheek.
"Those boys are blind Hermione," He said, "You are stunning." I smiled up at him. He shifts himself so that he is more on top of my body then next to it. He runs his fingers through my hair. "Your skin is smooth and your hair is so soft." By this time his face was close to mine and I try to move but he added more pressure to my body with his. I felt fear grip at my heart. He closed the distance between our faces and kissed me. I try to pull away but I can't and he uses his tongue to open my mouth, to which he slips his tongue inside my mouth. Finally he breaks the kiss. "You taste so sweet." He tells me and starts to unbutton my nightgown.
"No, Lex." I said as I try to push him off, "Stop I don't want you to do this." He didn't listen, he just took his belt off and tied my hands to the bed. Then he finished taking off my nightgown and then he tore off my underwear. He kissed me again this time with more force. He stripped off his clothes and then lay, on top of me. He touched my all over before finally entering me. It hurt so much! After what felt like an anon he finished and pulled out of me. He lay next to me for a while stroking my hair. Then pulled his pants on and grabbed his shirt. He leans down and kissing my cheek and whispers,
"I love you." And then he left.
Hermione gave a sigh as she finished her story. She leaned her head against his chest. She felt dampness in her hair and she looked up and found Draco crying. He look down into her eyes and felt his heart break.
"I am sorry about what I said today I truly am," He said, "It just you said I was like my father and I would never want to be like that fucker." Hermione giggled at his name for his father and he smiled too. Then she frowned and sighed again.
"But you were right." She simply stated. He realized what she was talking about.
"No, Hermione you don't belong to him." He said.
"He came back every night after that," She said her voice sounding dull.
"We will go to Dumbledore and tell him." He started but Hermione cut him off.
"No, you can't tell the teacher!" She said while pulling herself from his arms to stand up. "No one can know. My parents would try to kill me and Lex would take me away. He said he would if I told what happened. Promise me Malfoy that you won't tell. Promise me!" By this time Hermione was going into hysterics.
"I won't tell Hermione." Draco said softly. Hermione calm down as soon as she heard him say her name. She sat back down and laid her head on his shoulder her face turned toward his neck. He wrapped his arms around her once again.
"Thank-you Draco." She said softly. Draco felt a shiver go down his spine, but it was a good kind of shiver. He didn't know if it was because she was in his arms, or her warm breath, or because she said his name. As Draco drifted off to sleep he figured it was all of the above.
