Kokoro No Kaitou : Search For The Past
Chapter 10 : Amaya's POV
~*~
I slowly walked down the hall towards Youko's room. Would he be awake? My mind was currently consumed with the question that Tsuki had posed to me, and I really wanted to talk to him about it. But I didn't want to wake him, either.
I thought about it for a second before slowly opening the door. I entered, and shut it behind me.
The room was pitch black, and I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face. I took a few steps forward, hoping that I wouldn't trip and fall over anything.
"Kurama-kun?" I called softly. "Are you awake?"
There wasn't a reply, and I figured that he had to be asleep. I sighed. I had really wanted to talk to him…
I nearly screamed when someone suddenly hugged me from behind. I placed a hand over my heart, and turned to face Youko.
"Kami-sama, you scared me." I said, burying my face into his chest.
"Sorry."
I sighed, and hugged him back. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah. I took a nap. I'm fine now."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll say you took a nap!"
"Sorry."
"That's alright. I was only teasing you."
He looked like he was thinking about something. "So…what else did you and Tsuki talk about? Kuronue already told me about everything that he was there for."
"Did he really?" I asked.
He nodded. I sighed and took his hand, and led him over to the futon. I sat down on it, and he followed suit.
"Well, Tsuki posed a certain question to me…" I started.
"And what would that be?" He asked. He seemed genuinely curious.
I bit my lip and debated telling him.
He had a right to know.
"She asked me…she asked me to return to heaven with her."
He stared at me blankly. "Are you going to?"
"I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet." I replied. I met his gaze, and I couldn't tell what he was feeling. It didn't seem like he even cared…
"What are you leaning towards?" He asked.
"I…I don't know." I said honestly. There would be so many things that I would miss about this place, but heaven sounded absolutely wonderful.
I wondered…
"Kurama-kun, do you even want me to stay?" I asked. "And I mean really want me to stay?"
He looked at me as though I were stupid. "Baka."
"Kurama! I'm serious!" I exclaimed. I needed to know what he really felt about me…if what he had said in his sleep was what he really felt.
"Of course I want you to stay." He said. "Besides, I-" He cut himself off.
"You what?" Was he going to admit it? To my face? Oh, I hoped with all of my heart that he would.
"Nothing." He replied quickly.
My heart sank, and my hope was replaced by anger. "Kurama no baka!" I growled and stood. He gave me a confused look. "Get over your stupid macho pride for five minutes! I want you to tell me what you told me in your sleep!"
"What?" He asked.
I growled again in frustration and went over to the door, throwing it open. I stopped briefly to glare at him. "Oh, and in case you're wondering, when you were asleep, you told me that you loved me. Loved me more than anything else in the world."
I didn't even wait for his reply, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door closed behind me. Angry tears pricked at the backs of my eyes, but I refused to cry.
If he didn't even love me, what was the point of staying here? I'd be better off going with Tsuki, to a place where I knew that I'd be loved.
Yes, that's what I'd do…I needed to find Tsuki so that I could accept her offer.
Now, where had she said she was going…?
Ah! That's right! Tsuki had wanted to go to the hot spring!
I went there, and made sure to know before I entered. I slid open the door when there was no reply, and looked around. Where was she…? I didn't see her anywhere…
I took a step forward, and slid the door closed behind me.
A dull throbbing started on my head, and I put a hand to it. My skin was warm and moist…I was burning up!
I walked over to the edge of the spring, and fell down beside it. My head pounded even more, and I could here my heartbeat thundering in my ears.
I opened my eyes, which I had unknowingly clenched shut. Something…just now, something had been calling out to me…
"So, this is it. Your powers have reached they're peak."
I looked back over my shoulder, and saw Tsuki standing near the door. She smiled kindly at me. "Mine haven't awoken yet."
"What powers are you talking about?" I asked.
"Your powers as a tennyo. Your full power. You see, dear sister, we are only half tennyo. Our father was a human fisherman. So, our powers as celestial maidens have not yet fully awoken, though yours are now." She said, walking over to me.
"What will happen when they fully awaken?" I asked, wincing as the throbbing continued.
"Your powers will become stronger, and your appearance will return to normal." She said.
"Normal? I'm normal right now!" I exclaimed.
She stroked my hair and smiled at me. "You will be beautiful, in your full tennyo form."
"No…" I said quietly. "I like me the way that I am…I don't want to change."
"You have no choice, Amaya-chan." She said. She stood and stepped back. "It's almost time."
"No! I don't want to change!" I protested. The pain in my mind felt like it was splitting my head. Tears of pain rolled down my cheeks, and I whimpered quietly. "No…please, stop. Stop…I want to stay like this…I want to be me…"
I screamed as the pain doubled, and silver light flooded the room. A crescent moon appeared beneath me, channeling all the light into a tunnel around me. The pain started to subside, and I heard the door crack.
"Shit!"
Kurama…?
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Please, help…the pain…my head, it hurts…
The light released me, and I fell forward onto my palms. I was breathing hard, and some pain still lingered.
"What did I tell you?" Tsuki said. "You're beautiful in your tennyo form."
"That's…that's Amaya…?"
I sat up as best I could, and my hair fell in front of my face.
Silver hair…
It was longer too…probably to my waist…
I gasped, and the pain came flooding back.
"No!" I exclaimed. "This isn't me!"
"Amaya!"
I looked up at Youko. I didn't…I didn't want to be here. Not right now.
"What did you do to her?" He growled at Tsuki.
"I did nothing. This is her, in her purest form, untainted by you mortals." She said proudly. "Isn't she beautiful?"
"No…please, I want to be me again…" I whispered. I wanted to be far away from here…somewhere safe and quiet, without their stares…
A warm feeling washed over my body, and I opened my eyes. I was in Youko's room…
How had I gotten here?
I stood shakily, and realized that my body had changed as well. I didn't have a sixteen-year-old's body anymore. I was…older almost.
I ran a hand through my hair. I needed to cut it. It was much too long for me. But how…?
That's right! Youko always kept a dagger under his pillow for protection! I could use that!
I crawled over to the futon, and reached under his pillow, feeling for the sheathed blade…
I quickly withdrew my hand and stuck my index finger into my mouth. Okay, make that unsheathed blade.
I threw the pillow to the side, and took the blade. I grabbed my hair and started to cut through it at the base of my neck. It would be shorter than when it was brown, but it would be better than this length. I smiled when over half of my locks fell onto the ground. I felt a little better now…
Suddenly, the light surrounded me again, and my hair was back to my waist.
"No…" I sniffled, and started to cry again.
"Amaya…?"
I jumped and spun to face the person behind me, blade out in front. Youko jumped back slightly, then gently took the blade from my hand.
"Amaya, it's okay…it's just me." He said softly. He tossed the blade to the side, and looked back at me. "There."
I sniffled again, and wiped at my eyes. "Kurama, this isn't me I'm not supposed to be this way."
He pulled me into his embrace, and started stroking my hair soothingly.
"It's fine. What you look like now doesn't matter." He said.
"But-"
"Silver hair, brown hair, it makes no difference." He cut me off.
"Kurama…" I asked softly.
"Hm?"
"I have a question."
"Go ahead."
I thought about it for a minute. "Well…back at Auron's castle, you called me your mate again."
"Um…did I?" He asked.
He seemed to be pretty nervous now.
I pulled away and glared. "I know that you skipped some of your explanation last time. Don't make me ask Kuronue what it really means."
He sighed. "Don't ask him."
"Then you tell me." I said.
"It's…it's complicated."
"Do you want me to use my mental dominance?" I asked.
"Damn…no." He sighed again. "Well, it's when two people, er, mate, and bite each other."
"Bite?? That sounds painful." I said.
He tapped the spot at the juncture between my neck and shoulders. "Right there."
"That would really hurt."
"Not really. It heals the next day, and leaves a small white scar." He said.
"So…why did you call my that when we haven't done anything of the nature?" I asked innocently.
"Uh…" He averted his gaze, and mumbled, "Wishful thinking."
I raised an eyebrow, and he looked back at me.
"What?" He asked.
"Wishful thinking?" I repeated.
"Damn. I said that out loud, didn't I?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
He turned a little pink. "Could you pretend that you didn't hear that then?"
I shook my head, and hugged him. "I can't forget that."
"Are you…still mad at me?" He asked.
"Mad about what?"
"You stormed out of the room. You said that you wanted me to tell you that I loved you." He said.
"I don't want to force you to if that's not what you truly feel." I said, trying to hide the sadness that had crept into my voice.
"Amaya…"
"Yes?"
"It is how I truly feel." He pulled me away from him, and kissed me.
My eyes widened, but they quickly closed again. He pulled away slightly, and whispered, "Ai shiteru."
Bliss. I was the happiest that I'd ever been right then and there.
He loved me…
~*~
Author's Notes : There was some cute Youko / Amaya fluff there. I hope you all enjoyed that!! I'm posting this chapter while Lucky-chan takes a shower, so don't expect another update until Sunday. I just wanted to sneak this one in. The question is : what happens now? Dun-dun-duuuuuuun...
By the way, the next chapter is the last. It's really a combination of the last two chapters, but the last chapter is really really short.
Thanks to those who reviewed!
Story Weaver1 : Thanks!
Shessha's Crazy : Yes, that was quite funny!
Abby : I was happy to find a way to keep her in the story!!
Youko : You'll find out sooner or later. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. :P
Review!!!!!
Chapter 10 : Amaya's POV
~*~
I slowly walked down the hall towards Youko's room. Would he be awake? My mind was currently consumed with the question that Tsuki had posed to me, and I really wanted to talk to him about it. But I didn't want to wake him, either.
I thought about it for a second before slowly opening the door. I entered, and shut it behind me.
The room was pitch black, and I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face. I took a few steps forward, hoping that I wouldn't trip and fall over anything.
"Kurama-kun?" I called softly. "Are you awake?"
There wasn't a reply, and I figured that he had to be asleep. I sighed. I had really wanted to talk to him…
I nearly screamed when someone suddenly hugged me from behind. I placed a hand over my heart, and turned to face Youko.
"Kami-sama, you scared me." I said, burying my face into his chest.
"Sorry."
I sighed, and hugged him back. "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah. I took a nap. I'm fine now."
I rolled my eyes. "I'll say you took a nap!"
"Sorry."
"That's alright. I was only teasing you."
He looked like he was thinking about something. "So…what else did you and Tsuki talk about? Kuronue already told me about everything that he was there for."
"Did he really?" I asked.
He nodded. I sighed and took his hand, and led him over to the futon. I sat down on it, and he followed suit.
"Well, Tsuki posed a certain question to me…" I started.
"And what would that be?" He asked. He seemed genuinely curious.
I bit my lip and debated telling him.
He had a right to know.
"She asked me…she asked me to return to heaven with her."
He stared at me blankly. "Are you going to?"
"I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet." I replied. I met his gaze, and I couldn't tell what he was feeling. It didn't seem like he even cared…
"What are you leaning towards?" He asked.
"I…I don't know." I said honestly. There would be so many things that I would miss about this place, but heaven sounded absolutely wonderful.
I wondered…
"Kurama-kun, do you even want me to stay?" I asked. "And I mean really want me to stay?"
He looked at me as though I were stupid. "Baka."
"Kurama! I'm serious!" I exclaimed. I needed to know what he really felt about me…if what he had said in his sleep was what he really felt.
"Of course I want you to stay." He said. "Besides, I-" He cut himself off.
"You what?" Was he going to admit it? To my face? Oh, I hoped with all of my heart that he would.
"Nothing." He replied quickly.
My heart sank, and my hope was replaced by anger. "Kurama no baka!" I growled and stood. He gave me a confused look. "Get over your stupid macho pride for five minutes! I want you to tell me what you told me in your sleep!"
"What?" He asked.
I growled again in frustration and went over to the door, throwing it open. I stopped briefly to glare at him. "Oh, and in case you're wondering, when you were asleep, you told me that you loved me. Loved me more than anything else in the world."
I didn't even wait for his reply, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door closed behind me. Angry tears pricked at the backs of my eyes, but I refused to cry.
If he didn't even love me, what was the point of staying here? I'd be better off going with Tsuki, to a place where I knew that I'd be loved.
Yes, that's what I'd do…I needed to find Tsuki so that I could accept her offer.
Now, where had she said she was going…?
Ah! That's right! Tsuki had wanted to go to the hot spring!
I went there, and made sure to know before I entered. I slid open the door when there was no reply, and looked around. Where was she…? I didn't see her anywhere…
I took a step forward, and slid the door closed behind me.
A dull throbbing started on my head, and I put a hand to it. My skin was warm and moist…I was burning up!
I walked over to the edge of the spring, and fell down beside it. My head pounded even more, and I could here my heartbeat thundering in my ears.
I opened my eyes, which I had unknowingly clenched shut. Something…just now, something had been calling out to me…
"So, this is it. Your powers have reached they're peak."
I looked back over my shoulder, and saw Tsuki standing near the door. She smiled kindly at me. "Mine haven't awoken yet."
"What powers are you talking about?" I asked.
"Your powers as a tennyo. Your full power. You see, dear sister, we are only half tennyo. Our father was a human fisherman. So, our powers as celestial maidens have not yet fully awoken, though yours are now." She said, walking over to me.
"What will happen when they fully awaken?" I asked, wincing as the throbbing continued.
"Your powers will become stronger, and your appearance will return to normal." She said.
"Normal? I'm normal right now!" I exclaimed.
She stroked my hair and smiled at me. "You will be beautiful, in your full tennyo form."
"No…" I said quietly. "I like me the way that I am…I don't want to change."
"You have no choice, Amaya-chan." She said. She stood and stepped back. "It's almost time."
"No! I don't want to change!" I protested. The pain in my mind felt like it was splitting my head. Tears of pain rolled down my cheeks, and I whimpered quietly. "No…please, stop. Stop…I want to stay like this…I want to be me…"
I screamed as the pain doubled, and silver light flooded the room. A crescent moon appeared beneath me, channeling all the light into a tunnel around me. The pain started to subside, and I heard the door crack.
"Shit!"
Kurama…?
"What the hell is going on here?!"
Please, help…the pain…my head, it hurts…
The light released me, and I fell forward onto my palms. I was breathing hard, and some pain still lingered.
"What did I tell you?" Tsuki said. "You're beautiful in your tennyo form."
"That's…that's Amaya…?"
I sat up as best I could, and my hair fell in front of my face.
Silver hair…
It was longer too…probably to my waist…
I gasped, and the pain came flooding back.
"No!" I exclaimed. "This isn't me!"
"Amaya!"
I looked up at Youko. I didn't…I didn't want to be here. Not right now.
"What did you do to her?" He growled at Tsuki.
"I did nothing. This is her, in her purest form, untainted by you mortals." She said proudly. "Isn't she beautiful?"
"No…please, I want to be me again…" I whispered. I wanted to be far away from here…somewhere safe and quiet, without their stares…
A warm feeling washed over my body, and I opened my eyes. I was in Youko's room…
How had I gotten here?
I stood shakily, and realized that my body had changed as well. I didn't have a sixteen-year-old's body anymore. I was…older almost.
I ran a hand through my hair. I needed to cut it. It was much too long for me. But how…?
That's right! Youko always kept a dagger under his pillow for protection! I could use that!
I crawled over to the futon, and reached under his pillow, feeling for the sheathed blade…
I quickly withdrew my hand and stuck my index finger into my mouth. Okay, make that unsheathed blade.
I threw the pillow to the side, and took the blade. I grabbed my hair and started to cut through it at the base of my neck. It would be shorter than when it was brown, but it would be better than this length. I smiled when over half of my locks fell onto the ground. I felt a little better now…
Suddenly, the light surrounded me again, and my hair was back to my waist.
"No…" I sniffled, and started to cry again.
"Amaya…?"
I jumped and spun to face the person behind me, blade out in front. Youko jumped back slightly, then gently took the blade from my hand.
"Amaya, it's okay…it's just me." He said softly. He tossed the blade to the side, and looked back at me. "There."
I sniffled again, and wiped at my eyes. "Kurama, this isn't me I'm not supposed to be this way."
He pulled me into his embrace, and started stroking my hair soothingly.
"It's fine. What you look like now doesn't matter." He said.
"But-"
"Silver hair, brown hair, it makes no difference." He cut me off.
"Kurama…" I asked softly.
"Hm?"
"I have a question."
"Go ahead."
I thought about it for a minute. "Well…back at Auron's castle, you called me your mate again."
"Um…did I?" He asked.
He seemed to be pretty nervous now.
I pulled away and glared. "I know that you skipped some of your explanation last time. Don't make me ask Kuronue what it really means."
He sighed. "Don't ask him."
"Then you tell me." I said.
"It's…it's complicated."
"Do you want me to use my mental dominance?" I asked.
"Damn…no." He sighed again. "Well, it's when two people, er, mate, and bite each other."
"Bite?? That sounds painful." I said.
He tapped the spot at the juncture between my neck and shoulders. "Right there."
"That would really hurt."
"Not really. It heals the next day, and leaves a small white scar." He said.
"So…why did you call my that when we haven't done anything of the nature?" I asked innocently.
"Uh…" He averted his gaze, and mumbled, "Wishful thinking."
I raised an eyebrow, and he looked back at me.
"What?" He asked.
"Wishful thinking?" I repeated.
"Damn. I said that out loud, didn't I?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
He turned a little pink. "Could you pretend that you didn't hear that then?"
I shook my head, and hugged him. "I can't forget that."
"Are you…still mad at me?" He asked.
"Mad about what?"
"You stormed out of the room. You said that you wanted me to tell you that I loved you." He said.
"I don't want to force you to if that's not what you truly feel." I said, trying to hide the sadness that had crept into my voice.
"Amaya…"
"Yes?"
"It is how I truly feel." He pulled me away from him, and kissed me.
My eyes widened, but they quickly closed again. He pulled away slightly, and whispered, "Ai shiteru."
Bliss. I was the happiest that I'd ever been right then and there.
He loved me…
~*~
Author's Notes : There was some cute Youko / Amaya fluff there. I hope you all enjoyed that!! I'm posting this chapter while Lucky-chan takes a shower, so don't expect another update until Sunday. I just wanted to sneak this one in. The question is : what happens now? Dun-dun-duuuuuuun...
By the way, the next chapter is the last. It's really a combination of the last two chapters, but the last chapter is really really short.
Thanks to those who reviewed!
Story Weaver1 : Thanks!
Shessha's Crazy : Yes, that was quite funny!
Abby : I was happy to find a way to keep her in the story!!
Youko : You'll find out sooner or later. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. :P
Review!!!!!
