Author's Note: Thanks for all of the reviews! I hope that you like the story and the direction that it is going! Feel free to e-mail me with any suggestions; I'll gladly take them into consideration!
Chapter 6
Monica began pacing back and forth wearing out her living room floor beneath her. She had a sinking, horrible, feeling in her stomach. There were so many wrongs that she needed to right, which made her was literally disgusted with herself. Monica plopped herself down on her couch, sinking into the cushions. Closing her eyes she began to think of ways to try to reconcile with all of the people that she had hurt. But the cruel reality was that she was not ready to face the world. She was not ready to admit to anyone what she had done. The only people that knew were her, Joey, and Chandler and she wanted to keep it that way. She could not imagine what her brother and Rachel would do if they found out the truth. Chandler would not tell them. He had not up to this point and it had been five years. What was the point in telling now?
Abruptly taking Monica out of her thoughts was a hard loud knocking on the door that shook the whole apartment. Lifting herself up, Monica winced at the sound. Sluggishly, Monica dragged herself to her apartment door and opened it up.
"I cannot believe you!" Rachel screamed, pushing past Monica, inviting herself into the apartment.
"Well, hello to you too." Monica replied sarcastically. She pushed the door, causing it to slam hard. Rachel stood silent as her face began to warm and brim with anger. Monica sighed heavily. "Whatever Chandler told you, he was lying." She quickly remarked childishly, unable to face the truth.
"Is that so?" Rachel scowled. Then, she proceeded by slamming her black Guess pocketbook down on the brightly colored table. "You're the liar Monica!" Rachel bellowed.
Monica flinched. "What are you talking about?" Monica snapped back, trying to get herself out of the hole that was already so deeply dug into the ground.
"You're the liar!" Rachel angrily retorted, "When Chandler left, you made it seem like you were so innocent, like you were the victim."
"I was." Monica replied plainly. She couldn't believe that she was actually playing this game. She knew that Rachel knew what happened, but she could not help it. She had been living a lie for too long.
"No you weren't! Don't play cutesy with me, Monica! I know! We all know and your bullshit isn't going to work with me and Ross anymore. So why don't you fess up. Be a big girl and admit it. Admit that you slept with Joey. Admit that you were the one who fucked up your relationship with Chandler!" Rachel stood with her arms crossed and her feet planted firmly on the ground. Monica looked down. She was so ashamed. There was nothing that she could say or do that would get her out of this mess. "Do you even realize that magnitude of what you did?"
Monica could tell that Rachel was infuriated. She had never seen her this upset, not even during the whole 'we are on a break' situation. Monica stood silent. She could feel her ears burning with embarrassment.
"Because of the fucked up shit that you did, you put a caring and loving man through hell!!! Chandler will never be the same person that he was back in '99 ever again!"
Monica looked at Rachel in the eye. She had had enough of the yelling and screaming; she was not a little child who was getting in troubled by mommy. "We all change, Rach."
Rachel looked straight into Monica's stormy blue eyes. Monica did not blink. Her mouth stood puckered and eyes flashed both anger and pain. "Can't you just be woman enough to admit it?" Rachel spoke calmly, but forcefully.
"Fine!" Monica relinquished, "I slept with Joey. It was the biggest, most foolish mistake of my life and there is not one day that I don't regret it."
"Then go back to my apartment and right that mistake. You wasted five years of your life, don't waste five more." Rachel pleaded.
Monica shook her head, "No, Chandler doesn't want to see me. Not after what I said." A look of shock and surprise came across Rachel's face. "He didn't tell you?" Rachel frowned and shook her head no. Monica was taken aback. She thought for sure that Chandler would have told them all of those horrible and nasty things that she had said. Monica thought that that was the reason why Rachel had came over here.
"What did you say?" Rachel questioned, grabbing her pocketbook off of the table and slinging it over her shoulder. With a grimace on her face and regret in her eyes, Monica told Rachel everything. When Monica was done, Rachel could not even believe it. "How could you say those things Monica?" Rachel asked with disbelief, "And to say that about his daughter!" Rachel shook her head.
Monica exhaled noisily. "Do you think that he will ever forgive me?" She asked barely above a whisper. She was so ashamed of herself; part of her wished that Chandler had told Rachel, so she wouldn't have gone through the humiliation of telling her.
Rachel bit her lip. "I honestly do not know. So many things have happened to him, so many things that you don't even know about." Rachel sighed, as she walked out of the apartment, there was doubt in her mind that Chandler would ever forgive Monica. She had done so much to hurt him, and it was such a shame because those two were true soul mates. They were meant for each other. He was her lobster.
Sorry this chapter is a little shorter than usual! I promise to get another one out either tomorrow or Wednesday! I hope that you enjoyed the chapter! Please read and review!
