bambu: Hi! ^^
Hi! I'M NOT DEAD! I just-
Loki: blab blab blab! It's your funeral.
*blink* wah-
Loki: *points to The Clock Of How Long Readers Will Still Read Your Story*
0.o I have 2 minuets?!?
Loki: and you're spending it on stupid author notes. Tsk tsk tsk.
0.0 Eep! I'll tell any readers this before hand; I thought this was funny with an intoxicated Ferio, Zazu, and Mokona is the head knight of Puu! ^^ Um… ascot is the concord in scene 15- I ran out of people there… sorry! ^^;
Loki: not like there's any readers left… you're so done.
bambu: Stop slowing her down! If she's done, we're done!
Loki: 0.0 what?!? Read people! READ!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SCENE 13 'THE KNIGHTS OF PUU'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MOKONA: Puu!
KNIGHTS OF PUU: Puu! Puu! Puu! Puu! Puu!
FERIO: Who are you?
MOKONA: We are the Knights Who Say... 'Puu'!
RANDOM: Puu!
FERIO: No! Not the Knights Who Say 'Puu'!
MOKONA: The same!
ASCOT: Who are they?
MOKONA: We are the keepers of the sacred words: 'Puu', 'Neng', and 'Peee-wom'!
RANDOM: Neee-wom!
FERIO: Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale.
MOKONA: The Knights Who Say 'Puu' demand a sacrifice.
FERIO: Knights of Puu, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.
MOKONA: Puu!
KNIGHTS OF PUU: Puu! Puu! Puu! Puu! Puu!
FERIO: Ow! Ow! Ow! Agh!
MOKONA: We shall say 'Puu' again to you if you do not appease us.
FERIO: Well, what is it you want?
MOKONA: We want... a Haagen-Dazs!
[dramatic chord]
FERIO: A what?
KNIGHTS OF PUU: Puu! Puu! Puu! Puu!
FERIO and PARTY: Ow! Oh!
FERIO: Please! Please! No more! We will find you a Haagen-Dazs!
MOKONA: You must return here with a Haagen-Dazs, or else, you will never pass through this wood... alive.
FERIO: O Knights of Puu, you are just and fair, and we will return with a Haagen-Dazs.
MOKONA: One that looks nice.
FERIO: Of course.
MOKONA: And not too expensive.
FERIO: Yes.
MOKONA: Now... go!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
CARTOON 'BLOODY WEATHER.'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[trumpets]
CLEF: Hmm hmm--
[boom]
Oh! Great scott! Hm. Hmm.
[boom]
Hm! Hmm. [mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
Ohh!
[crash]
[mumble mumble mumble]
[boom]
HIKARU: Ay, up! Thsss.
[boom]
Ayy, up!
[boom]
Thsss.
[boom]
Ayy, up!
CLEF: Stop that! Stop that!
[boom]
HIKARU: Ay, up!
CLEF: Stop that!
[boom]
Look on! Clear off! Go on! Go away! Go away! Go away! And you! Clear off!
[sniff]
HIKARU: [mumble mumble mumble]
[bells]
CLEF: Hah. Bloody weather.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SCENE 14 'MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T LEAVE.'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
EMERAUDE: The Tale of Sir Eagle.
ZAGATO: One day, lad, all this will be yours!
PRINCE FERIO: What, the curtains?
ZAGATO: No. Not the curtains, lad. All that you can see stretched out over the hills and valleys of this land! This'll be your kingdom, lad.
FERIO: But Father--
ZAGATO: Zagato, lad. Zagato.
FERIO: B-- b-- but Zagato, I don't want any of that.
ZAGATO: Listen, lad. When I saw your sister, I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em...and your sister. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, lost me any chance with your sister, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
FERIO: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
ZAGATO: Rather what?!
FERIO: I'd rather...
[music]
…Just... sing!
ZAGATO: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here. Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Cephiro.
FERIO: B-- but I don't want land.
ZAGATO: Listen, Fuu, --
FERIO: Ferio.
ZAGATO: 'Erio. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
FERIO: But-- but I don't like her.
ZAGATO: Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got HUGE-... tracts o' land!
FERIO: I know, but I want the-- the girl that I marry to have...
[music]
...A certain... special... something!
ZAGATO: Cut that out! Cut that out! Look, you're marrying Princess Alcyone, so you'd better get used to the idea!
[smack]
Guards! Make sure the Prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
GEO: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him.
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: No, no. Until I come and get him.
GEO: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
ZAGATO: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure he doesn't leave.
GEO: And you'll come and get him.
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: Right.
GEO: We don't need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room.
ZAGATO: No, no. Leaving the room.
GEO: Leaving the room. Yes.
[sniff]
ZAGATO: All right?
GEO: Right.
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: Right.
GEO: Oh, if-- if-- if, uhh-- if-- if-- w-- ehh-- I-- if-- if we--
ZAGATO: Yes? What is it?
GEO: Oh, I-- if-- I-- oh--
ZAGATO: Look, it's quite simple.
GEO: Uh...
ZAGATO: You just stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave the room. All right?
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: Right.
GEO: Oh, I remember. Uhh, can he leave the room with us?
ZAGATO: N-- no, no. No. You just keep him in here and make sure he--
GEO: Oh, yes. We'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave and we were with him--
ZAGATO: No, no, no, no. Just keep him in here--
GEO: Until you or anyone else--
ZAGATO: No, not anyone else. Just me.
GEO: Just you.
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: Get back.
GEO: Get back.
ZAGATO: All right?
GEO: Right. We'll stay here until you get back.
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave.
GEO: What?
ZAGATO: Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GEO: The Prince?
ZAGATO: Yes. Make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GEO: Oh, yes, of course.
ZAZU: Hic!
GEO: Ah. I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me havin' to guard him when he's a guard.
ZAGATO: Is that clear?
ZAZU: Hic!
GEO: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
ZAGATO: Right. Where are you going?
GEO: We're coming with you.
ZAGATO: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure 'e doesn't leave.
GEO: Oh, I see. Right.
FERIO: But Zagato!
ZAGATO: Shut your noise, you! And get that suit on!
[music]
And no singing!
ZAZU: Hic!
ZAGATO: Oh, go and get a glass of water.
[clank]
[scribble scribble scribble fold fold]
[twong]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SCENE 15 'MESSAGE FOR YOU, SIR.'
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SIR EAGLE: Well taken, Ascot!
ASCOT: Thank you, sir! Most kind.
SIR EAGLE: And again! Over we go! Good. Steady! And now, the big one! Uuh!
Come on, Concorde!
[thwonk]
ASCOT: Message for you, sir.
[fwump]
SIR EAGLE: Ascot! Ascot! Speak to me! 'To whoever finds this note: I have been imprisoned by my … friend… who wishes me to marry against my will. Please, please, please come and rescue me. I am in the Tall Tower of Autozam Swamp Castle.' At last! A call! A cry of distress! This could be the sign that leads us to the Holy Earring! Brave, brave Ascot, you shall not have died in vain!
ASCOT: Uh, I'm-- I'm not quite dead, sir.
SIR EAGLE: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
ASCOT: I-- I-- I think I c-- I could pull through, sir.
SIR EAGLE: Oh, I see.
ASCOT: Actually, I think I'm all right to come with you, sir--
SIR EAGLE: No, no, sweet Ascot! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular...
[sigh]
ASCOT: Idiom, sir?
SIR EAGLE: Idiom!
ASCOT: No, I feel fine, actually, sir.
SIR EAGLE: Farewell, sweet Ascot!
ASCOT: I'll, um-- I'll just stay here, then. Shall I, sir? Yeah.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SCENE 16 'HURRY, SIR EAGLE, HURRY!'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[inside castle]
PRINCESS ALCYONE and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
[outside castle]
CLEF: 'Morning!
LAFARGA: 'Morning.
LANTIS: Oooh.
LAFARGA: [ptoo]
SIR EAGLE: Ha ha! Hiyya!
LANTIS: Hey!
SIR EAGLE: Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.
PRINCESS ALCYONE and GIRLS: [giggle giggle giggle]
SIR EAGLE: Ha ha! Huy!
GUESTS: Uuh! Aaah!
SIR EAGLE: Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...
GEO: Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!
SIR EAGLE: O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Eagle of Cephiro. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
FERIO: You got my note!
SIR EAGLE: Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note.
FERIO: You've come to rescue me!
SIR EAGLE: Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--
FERIO: I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...
[music]
SIR EAGLE: Well, I--
FERIO: ...there must be... someone...
ZAGATO: Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
FERIO: I'm your…um… brother!
ZAGATO: No you're not! And anyway, not you.
SIR EAGLE: Uh, I am Sir Eagle, sir.
FERIO: He's come to rescue me, Zagato.
SIR EAGLE: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
ZAGATO: Did you kill all those guards?
SIR EAGLE: Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.
ZAGATO: They cost fifty pounds each!
SIR EAGLE: Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.
FERIO: Don't be afraid of him, Sir Eagle. I've got a rope all ready.
ZAGATO: You killed eight wedding guests in all!
SIR EAGLE: Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your… friend was a lady.
ZAGATO: I can understand that. Well, not the friend part, but-
FERIO: Hurry, Sir Eagle! Hurry!
ZAGATO: Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
SIR EAGLE: Well, I really didn't mean to...
ZAGATO: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
SIR EAGLE: Oh, dear. Is he all right?
ZAGATO: You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
SIR EAGLE: Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Cephiro, when I got this note, you see--
ZAGATO: Cephiro? Are you from, uh, Cephiro?
FERIO: Hurry, Sir Eagle!
SIR EAGLE: Uh, I am a Magic Knight of King- um, un-intoxicated Ferio, sir.
ZAGATO: Very nice castle, Cephiro. Uh, very good fyula country.
SIR EAGLE: Is it?
FERIO: Hurry! I'm ready!
ZAGATO: Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?
SIR EAGLE: Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you...
FERIO: I am ready!
SIR EAGLE: ...um, I mean to be so understanding.
[thonk]
Um,
[woosh]
FERIO: Oooh!
SIR EAGLE: ...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom; I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.
ZAGATO: Oh, don't worry about that.
FERIO: Oooh!
[splat]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
phew.
Loki: phew.
bambu: phew.
Crickets: phew.
Clock: phew.
Random Narrators & their station: phew.
Gunji: phew.
Greg: phew.
Every single thing in Bamboomarang's Mind: phew.
Well… that was close. I could've let you guys down, but I didn't.
Every single thing in Bamboomarang's Mind: *random thanks & so forth*
So… do the disclaimer for me?
Every single thing in Bamboomarang's Mind: *nods enthusiastically* Bamboomarang does NOT own MKR or Monty Python & the Holy Grail.
Yep! I only own, well, US. Not the U.S, but US; a mysterious acronym that will never be figured out.
bambu: Read and review people, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
