Title – Participating - Sequel to Watching
Author name – Carol

E-mail – Writestories315@yahoo.com
Rating – G

Spoilers – Second Sight and my own made-up world
Disclaimer – Okay, I was sitting here writing this and I heard that Kenny Chesney and Rascal Flatts are going to catch some tour dates together.  My first thought after 'I need to get tickets' was 'that is one too many cute boys on stage together.  There ought to be a law.'  Don't own JAG.  But can I take Kenny or Rascal Flatts or hell anyone else I've mentioned this week?
Summery – Getting a chance

Author's Notes –

1. This is a first person POV.

2. MSWOA Kitty-cat kicks ass in beta reading.

3. Incase you're like me and can't remember anything. Watching can be found at FF.net at

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Another Sunday afternoon in the park and here I am…… watching.  She's not with them today, but the kids are playing in the sand box.  Thomas is trying to show Elizabeth how to build a sandcastle, but I think it's just beyond the grasp of a four-month-old. She's more content to be held by her father, who is sitting on the edge of the wooden sand box.

Every now and then their laughter floats through the air like music.  There's a young couple sitting by a tree watching them, every now and then they share a kiss. I know they are wishing for a happy family, I wished for the same thing before I had Sarah.

I'm lost in watching the kids.  Andrew's just like Sarah was.  He's sitting to the left of his father, totally different from Thomas who is sitting in the center of the sandbox talking a mile a minute.  Andrew is quietly working on his sandcastle.  It's a small little castle, but he's working on the details.  Sarah would do that; she would work till it was perfect.

There was one time we went to the park on base; she built a nice size sandcastle.  It had little details and she would tell herself a story as she built it.  When she was done, she got on my lap and told me the story of the sandcastle.  It was of her prince and how he rescued her.  I thought of that story as I tucked her in the night, I wished it would come true for us.  For a few minutes I allowed myself to get lost in her dreams, and then Joe came home.  Some dreams don't come true.

I sigh heavily as someone sat down at the other end of the bench.  I continue to watch the children; they are so much like her.

"I got tired of waiting," the person next to me says.

I turn my head to say, 'excuse me.'  But I look at the person and my voice freezes in my throat. 

"I thought I should just stop by and start this," my Sarah says to me as she watches her family.

I turn back to the family.  "I can leave."

"No," Sarah answers me.  "That's my husband Harm.  We've been married for six years this September.  Our oldest son is Thomas Harmon, but we call him Tommy.  He was born two days before our first wedding anniversary.  He was the best gift Harm gave me that year; something had to beat that toaster."  She laughs as she tells me about her family.

"Tommy is named after Harm's step-father Frank, Thomas is Frank's middle name, and Harm's father.  He's named after the two most important men in Harm's life.  He wanted to name him after Uncle Matt, but I promised Uncle Matt I would never name my first born son after him.  In the red shirt is Andrew Matthew.  He's three and very quiet, unlike his brother.  Harm tells me Andy is all me, which I think the kid is.  He's thoughtful and sweet.  Andy's named after a close friend we lost in a car accident and Uncle Matt."  Sarah gets a soft smile on her face.

"On Harm's lap is Elizabeth Danielle.  She's four months now and we're still trying to figure out who she's like.  I think she might be the perfect mix of the two of us.  She's named after Ham's RIO, Skates and our friend Jen.  We joke and tell them it's their fault Lizzy was conceived."

"Tommy and Andy adore her.  When we brought her home from the hospital the boys argued over who was going to hold her first.  Harm settled the argument by sitting on the couch with both boys on his lap, and then I set Lizzy between the boys."  She reaches into her pocket and hands me a picture. 

I look at their happy faces.  It's of the event she just told me about.  A tear falls down my cheek as I see my grandchildren with their father.  "They are so beautiful, Sarah."

I go to hand her the picture back. 

"It's for you," is what she says. I stare at her in shock, but she turns her head and looks at me.  "You may not be in their lives, but you are part of them." 

I place the picture in my pocket.  Knowing as soon as I get home I'll put it in a frame.  We both turn and watch as a children laugh loudly.  We watch as Harm and the kids move out of the sand box and over to the jungle gym.  The boys quickly climb onto the play set as Harm settles onto a swing with Lizzy in his arms.  He lifts her to his face and gives her a kiss.

"Is he a good man?"  I ask.

She smiles like a woman in love.  "He's my best friend.  We worked together at JAG and we're friends for eight years before we finally got together.  I was seeing a man named Clay, but one rainy night he was killed by a drunk driver.  He was walking across a street when he the car hit him.  Clay was a good friend to me and Harm knew it.  After the accident I got very depressed and Harm just took me away from the pain.  He took me to his grandmother's farm and we talked things out.  Six months later we were married.  Harm is one of the best things that has ever happened to me."

"Are you happy?"

"Very," Sarah replies then looks at me.  "Are you?"

"No."

"Do you come here every week?"

I take a deep breath and tell her.  "I come in hope of catching a glimpse of your family.  They are beautiful and I'm glad to know you're happy."

"Do you live in the area?"

"I have a small apartment in Springfield and a job at a doctor's office.  I'm his office assistant.  It's taken me a while, but I've finally gotten my life in order, Sarah."  I glance at her family.  "I've been living here for three years.  I moved to town the day Andrew was born, I read the announcement in the paper a few days later.  I don't run anymore, Sarah."

Sarah opens her mouth to say something, but a high pitch yell of a child catches her attention. 

"Mommy!!!!"  Andy yells as he runs off the jungle gym and towards us.

'For a small kid he can run fast,' I thought.  Before I knew it Sarah was standing up and Andy was in her arms hugging and kissing her. 

"I've missed you, Mommy," Andy tells her as he buries his head in her shoulder.

"I've missed you, too, Bug," Sarah says as she sits back down.  She settles down and Andy curls into her lap.  She looks over at the jungle gym and waves at Tommy who is standing at the top of the slide and to her husband who is getting off of the swing.

I turn my attention to the little boy in her lap.  She use to sit like that on my lap. 

"Hi." Andy smiles at me.

"Hello," I say to the small angel.

"Andy, this is Deanne.  She's Mommy's friend," Sarah tells him as she looks in my eyes.

Andy extends his small hand and we shake hands.  "Nice to meet you, Ma'am."

"You're a polite little boy," I tell him.  Those must have been the magical words because then he really shows he's just how much he is like my Sarah. He turns shy and buries his head in her chest.

Sarah just laughs. Then her other son Tommy jumps onto the bench giving her a kiss and hug.  "Hi, Mommy. Did you miss me?"

Sarah laughs.  "I think I did.  Did you clean your room?"

"Daddy helped," he admits to her.

"He did?" Sarah questions as Harm walks over with the baby in his arms.

"I did," he tells her before leaning down and giving her a kiss.  It isn't a short kiss; you can tell this couple has no problem letting people know they are in love with each other.  "I love you," he says as their lips break apart.

"Love you,"Sarah responds as Andy crawls off her lap.  Harm hands her the baby and she kisses Lizzy's pink cheeks.

Harm gives me a soft smile as he watches his wife and daughter.  Happiness and love are literally encircling this family, it's a wonderful thing to see and feel.

"Deanne," Sarah says getting my attention.  I turn and face her.  "You already meet Andy. But this is Tommy, Lizzy, and my husband Harm."

"Hello," I say as I shake Harm's hand and Tommy's.

Harm gives Sarah a look.  She smiles back and explains. "Deanne is an old friend of mine."

"Oh, it's very nice to meet you."  Harm gives me a full smile and I start to wonder how in the world it took my daughter eight years to marry this man.

"You too, Harm.  You have a wonderful family."

Pride shows in Harm's eyes.  "Yeah, we're lucky the kids are like Mac, if they were like me."  He starts to laugh as Sarah joins him.

"Can we go home, Daddy?  You promised we could make pizzas for dinner," Tommy tells his father.

Sarah starts to laugh.  "I go to a conference for five days and you start to feed the kids pizza."

Harm defends himself.  "It's going to be homemade and last night we had veggie pasta."

Sarah laughs again.  It's music to my ears again and a vision to see.  "Well, then we better get going."

She and I both stand up from the bench.  She settles Lizzy to her chest, where the baby has now fallen to sleep and Andy takes her free hand. Tommy jumps off of the bench and takes his fathers hand as he smiles.

"Deanne, it was very nice meeting you.  Next time you're here and you see us, please stop and say hi," Harm says.  I get the feeling in that little look he and Sarah shared they had a whole conversation.

I glance at Sarah and she smiles. 

"I think I will," I tell them hoping they will accept me.

Andy looks up at me with his brown eyes.  "Mommy, can Miss Deanne join us for pizza?"

I look at Sarah with surprise.  Harm places his hand on her on the small of her back.  Sarah extends the olive branch to me.  "Would you like to join us for homemade pizza and a not so quiet dinner with three and half kids?"

Before I can answer Harm jokes. "Am I being counted as one of those kids?"

Sarah chuckles and kisses his cheek.  She leans into him and looks back at me. "Well, Deanne?"

I take a deep breath and try not to cry.  "I would love to, Sarah."

"Great," Sarah softly says.  "We live up this way, the house isn't too far. Would you like to walk with us?  After dinner we can walk back to your car."

"I think a walk would be nice," I tell the family.

We start to walk towards their home.  We're just a few steps away from the bench when I feel a small hand touching mine.  I look down and see Andy's brown eyes smiling back at me.  I open my clenched hand and he slips his small hand into mine. I give him a squeeze and he giggles, just like his mother would when I held her hand.  He lets go of my hand and runs up to walk next to his brother.

The boys are leading the way down the sidewalk to their house.  Harm is standing next to Sarah with his arm around her waist.  He whispers something into her ear and she giggles.  Their daughter is still asleep surrounded by her mothers love.  I am beside Sarah, knowing she has let me into her life. 

What started out as a usual day in the park watching has turned into my chance to participate with a family.  A family I hope to become a member of.   We come to a crosswalk and both of the boys take their fathers hand and the three cross the street. Sarah's free hand touches mine and I take it as we cross the street.  I give her hand a squeeze and she laughs, some things will never change.

THE END

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More AN:

Hey all –

Thanks for reading all of my FF's this week.  I've been on break and needed something to keep busy.  All of the feedback has been wonderful.  You guys are great.  I think I'm officially out of my funk. 

Have a great Chocolate Bunny Day (some people call it Easter… but Chocolate Bunny Day is fun to say).

Smiles-

-Carol