A/N: This is a very strange, challenge fic that I am writing with the "help" of two of my friends.
No, really, they've been great. This is in the MWPP era, so have fun!
False Accusations
"James? Sirius? JAMES! SIRIUS! BOYS! GET DOWN HERE!"
James Potter looked at his best friend, Sirius Black. "Damn," he muttered. "Caught
again..." Sirius shook his head, his messy hair flying.
"Let's just...not go down then?" Sirius suggested meekly. James surveyed his friend over
his glasses. Sirius grinned sheepishly as James gave him a severe look. "Well, it was just a
suggestion..."
Both boys winced as Mrs. Potter's voice rang out once more. "BOYS!! GET DOWN
HERE NOW!"
"We are in such deep..." Sirius began, but James cut him off.
"Trouble."
Sirius nodded as though this were exactly what he was going to say. "Right," he said.
Both of them looked at each other and exchanged a knowing look. "Well, let's just get it over
with then..." muttered Sirius.
With a huge CRACK, both boys disappeared simultaneously.
CRACK!
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Oops...sorry mum...we didn't know you were making pie there..."
James jumped off the counter where he had accidentally Apparated. "Where's Sirius?" he
asked, looking around.
"He didn't come with you, dear?" his mother asked, looking concerned (James thought
that this was mainly for the pie he had just landed in).
"Well, I though he-" James was cut off by a loud knocking on the front door. "What on
earth..." he muttered, walking to the front hall and opening the door. The next moment, he was
breathless with laughter.
Sirius was standing in the doorway, looking positively livid. Twigs were sticking out of his
messy hair, and he had two bloody scratches down his face. The rest of him was covered in spiky
rose bush stems, and a few nettles were sticking out of his shoes. He glared at James.
"That was not funny!" he exclaimed. James was now on his knees, clutching his stomach
in mirth.
"Can you...can you...you should see yourself!" he choked. Sirius looked down at himself,
and a smirk crossed his face before he frowned.
"This bloody hurts..." he commented, with the air of someone commenting on the
weather. James got up, still laughing, and led his friend to the kitchen, where his mother was
waiting.
"SIRIUS!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, running over. "What happened dear? Oh...my poor
dear...oh you must be so hurt..."
"No...Mrs. Potter...I'm really fine...I just...no, no, stop, I'll be fine..." Sirius feebly tried to
fight off Mrs. Potter, but to no avail. James snickered.
"Don't be silly dear, it won't take a moment." She waved her wand, and all the twigs and
leaves vanished into thin air. "There we go, all better. Now, boys..."
The two boys looked at each other with identical looks of horror. "Y-yes, Mum?" asked
James, in a manner of asking someone what their method of torture would be. But before Mrs.
Potter could answer, Sirius jumped in.
"Mrs. Potter, my distinguished colleague James and I," he began, with a wave in James'
direction. "Have discussed the matter throughly, and would like to present to you a full and
humble apology. We have decided that-"
Mrs. Potter cut him off. "That's nice dear, but in some places, like this house, going away
for a holiday doesn't need an apology! It's a good thing dear. We enjoy ourselves."
"Oh...is that right? Yes...yes of course you do..." said Sirius. "Sorry, bad childhood.," he
muttered under his breath, smirking at James.
"You're going on holiday?" asked James, looking at his mother, confused, as though she
had just sprouted an extra head.
"Er...yes dear...we told you a month ago, then three weeks ago, then last week, then last
night..." she said, looking concerned. "Dear, are you on drugs?"
There was a shocked silence, followed by a quickly stifled snigger from Sirius.
"No, Mum! Why on earth would you think that??" James asked, looking shocked.
"Yes, but, over this summer, you've been a bit..." his mother fished for the right word.
"more...mischievous that usual. You know, it might be just because of Sirius being here, but..."
Sirius stopped laughing. He frowned at James instead. "Yeah, mate, you have been weird
this summer," said Sirius in a very serious manner.
"What???" asked James, looking back and forth between them. "I never...Sirius...you know
I'd never..."
"Well, I dunno, but there was that dare last September about you sneaking..."
"SIRIUS!!! Shhh...."said James hurriedly.
"What dear?" asked Mrs. Potter, looking severe.
"N-nothing mother...well...alright, so the guys and me smoked pot. So what?"
Mrs. Potter fainted.
"Um...Prongs? I think we just killed your mother."
James shrugged. "Don't worry Padfoot, it happens all the time."
"You mean...she dies all the time??" asked Sirius, looking terrified. "You mean...your mom's
a...ZOMBIE???"
James burst out laughing. "Are you high, Padfoot? What kind of pot have you been
smoking??"
Sirius grinned. "Heh. Just kidding," he said laughing. But his laugh was oddly strained,
making James laugh harder. "Hey...shouldn't we...you know...do something? About your mum?"
CRACK!
"Dad!" said James, looking surprised. "Get off Mum!"
Mr. Potter looked slightly bemused. "What James? What about your mother? I seem to be
standing on something rather...dear!" He jumped off of Mrs. Potter, looking shocked. "Dear? Dear?
Can you hear me?" He quickly pulled out his wand, and pointed it at her. "Ennervate!" he muttered.
Mrs. Potter opened her eyes and looked around. "Yes...sorry...James...drugs...dear?"
"WHAT??????" Mr. Potter roared, rounding on James.
"Sorry dad, we were just..."
"IS THIS TRUE?"
"No! Of course not! We were just..."
"FRAZZLING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF HER MIND! NOT AS THOUGH WE DON'T
HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITH..."
"DAD! It's fine. We were just winding her up, that's all. Right, Sirius?" asked James with a
pointed look at Sirius.
"Yeah...yeah...course we were." Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow. "No, really," said Sirius
seriously. "We don't do drugs. That would be stupid. Besides, what did you want to tell us?"
"Right," said Mrs. Potter, getting to her feet. "Sorry about that boys. Your father and I are
going to leave right now for Germany. We are going to be back in two days, so be careful, and don't
cause any trouble. This is big responsibility, and we trust you enough to let you take care of
yourselves for two days and a night. But I want it clear," she said, glaring up at the two boys, both
of whom were taller than her. "That if anything happens to this house, you will both be hearing from
me. Understood?"
Both of the boys gulped and nodded. "Yes Ma'am," they mumbled.
"Good," she said, patting James on the shoulder. "See you in two days!"
And with that, she Disapparated. Mr. Potter clapped James on the back. "Have fun boys!" he
said with a huge wink, and then he Disapparated too.
James and Sirius stared at the empty air where the two people had been. There was a silence.
Both looked at each other.
"EXCELLENT!" they exclaimed, high fiving each other and missing.
TO BE CONTINUED...
A/N: Next chapter- James and Sirius plan something that Mrs. Potter might not approve of...
No, really, they've been great. This is in the MWPP era, so have fun!
False Accusations
"James? Sirius? JAMES! SIRIUS! BOYS! GET DOWN HERE!"
James Potter looked at his best friend, Sirius Black. "Damn," he muttered. "Caught
again..." Sirius shook his head, his messy hair flying.
"Let's just...not go down then?" Sirius suggested meekly. James surveyed his friend over
his glasses. Sirius grinned sheepishly as James gave him a severe look. "Well, it was just a
suggestion..."
Both boys winced as Mrs. Potter's voice rang out once more. "BOYS!! GET DOWN
HERE NOW!"
"We are in such deep..." Sirius began, but James cut him off.
"Trouble."
Sirius nodded as though this were exactly what he was going to say. "Right," he said.
Both of them looked at each other and exchanged a knowing look. "Well, let's just get it over
with then..." muttered Sirius.
With a huge CRACK, both boys disappeared simultaneously.
CRACK!
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!"
"Oops...sorry mum...we didn't know you were making pie there..."
James jumped off the counter where he had accidentally Apparated. "Where's Sirius?" he
asked, looking around.
"He didn't come with you, dear?" his mother asked, looking concerned (James thought
that this was mainly for the pie he had just landed in).
"Well, I though he-" James was cut off by a loud knocking on the front door. "What on
earth..." he muttered, walking to the front hall and opening the door. The next moment, he was
breathless with laughter.
Sirius was standing in the doorway, looking positively livid. Twigs were sticking out of his
messy hair, and he had two bloody scratches down his face. The rest of him was covered in spiky
rose bush stems, and a few nettles were sticking out of his shoes. He glared at James.
"That was not funny!" he exclaimed. James was now on his knees, clutching his stomach
in mirth.
"Can you...can you...you should see yourself!" he choked. Sirius looked down at himself,
and a smirk crossed his face before he frowned.
"This bloody hurts..." he commented, with the air of someone commenting on the
weather. James got up, still laughing, and led his friend to the kitchen, where his mother was
waiting.
"SIRIUS!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed, running over. "What happened dear? Oh...my poor
dear...oh you must be so hurt..."
"No...Mrs. Potter...I'm really fine...I just...no, no, stop, I'll be fine..." Sirius feebly tried to
fight off Mrs. Potter, but to no avail. James snickered.
"Don't be silly dear, it won't take a moment." She waved her wand, and all the twigs and
leaves vanished into thin air. "There we go, all better. Now, boys..."
The two boys looked at each other with identical looks of horror. "Y-yes, Mum?" asked
James, in a manner of asking someone what their method of torture would be. But before Mrs.
Potter could answer, Sirius jumped in.
"Mrs. Potter, my distinguished colleague James and I," he began, with a wave in James'
direction. "Have discussed the matter throughly, and would like to present to you a full and
humble apology. We have decided that-"
Mrs. Potter cut him off. "That's nice dear, but in some places, like this house, going away
for a holiday doesn't need an apology! It's a good thing dear. We enjoy ourselves."
"Oh...is that right? Yes...yes of course you do..." said Sirius. "Sorry, bad childhood.," he
muttered under his breath, smirking at James.
"You're going on holiday?" asked James, looking at his mother, confused, as though she
had just sprouted an extra head.
"Er...yes dear...we told you a month ago, then three weeks ago, then last week, then last
night..." she said, looking concerned. "Dear, are you on drugs?"
There was a shocked silence, followed by a quickly stifled snigger from Sirius.
"No, Mum! Why on earth would you think that??" James asked, looking shocked.
"Yes, but, over this summer, you've been a bit..." his mother fished for the right word.
"more...mischievous that usual. You know, it might be just because of Sirius being here, but..."
Sirius stopped laughing. He frowned at James instead. "Yeah, mate, you have been weird
this summer," said Sirius in a very serious manner.
"What???" asked James, looking back and forth between them. "I never...Sirius...you know
I'd never..."
"Well, I dunno, but there was that dare last September about you sneaking..."
"SIRIUS!!! Shhh...."said James hurriedly.
"What dear?" asked Mrs. Potter, looking severe.
"N-nothing mother...well...alright, so the guys and me smoked pot. So what?"
Mrs. Potter fainted.
"Um...Prongs? I think we just killed your mother."
James shrugged. "Don't worry Padfoot, it happens all the time."
"You mean...she dies all the time??" asked Sirius, looking terrified. "You mean...your mom's
a...ZOMBIE???"
James burst out laughing. "Are you high, Padfoot? What kind of pot have you been
smoking??"
Sirius grinned. "Heh. Just kidding," he said laughing. But his laugh was oddly strained,
making James laugh harder. "Hey...shouldn't we...you know...do something? About your mum?"
CRACK!
"Dad!" said James, looking surprised. "Get off Mum!"
Mr. Potter looked slightly bemused. "What James? What about your mother? I seem to be
standing on something rather...dear!" He jumped off of Mrs. Potter, looking shocked. "Dear? Dear?
Can you hear me?" He quickly pulled out his wand, and pointed it at her. "Ennervate!" he muttered.
Mrs. Potter opened her eyes and looked around. "Yes...sorry...James...drugs...dear?"
"WHAT??????" Mr. Potter roared, rounding on James.
"Sorry dad, we were just..."
"IS THIS TRUE?"
"No! Of course not! We were just..."
"FRAZZLING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF HER MIND! NOT AS THOUGH WE DON'T
HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT WITH..."
"DAD! It's fine. We were just winding her up, that's all. Right, Sirius?" asked James with a
pointed look at Sirius.
"Yeah...yeah...course we were." Mr. Potter raised an eyebrow. "No, really," said Sirius
seriously. "We don't do drugs. That would be stupid. Besides, what did you want to tell us?"
"Right," said Mrs. Potter, getting to her feet. "Sorry about that boys. Your father and I are
going to leave right now for Germany. We are going to be back in two days, so be careful, and don't
cause any trouble. This is big responsibility, and we trust you enough to let you take care of
yourselves for two days and a night. But I want it clear," she said, glaring up at the two boys, both
of whom were taller than her. "That if anything happens to this house, you will both be hearing from
me. Understood?"
Both of the boys gulped and nodded. "Yes Ma'am," they mumbled.
"Good," she said, patting James on the shoulder. "See you in two days!"
And with that, she Disapparated. Mr. Potter clapped James on the back. "Have fun boys!" he
said with a huge wink, and then he Disapparated too.
James and Sirius stared at the empty air where the two people had been. There was a silence.
Both looked at each other.
"EXCELLENT!" they exclaimed, high fiving each other and missing.
TO BE CONTINUED...
A/N: Next chapter- James and Sirius plan something that Mrs. Potter might not approve of...
