Disclaimer: All of the usual characters from 'Harry Potter' belong to J. K. Rowling, blah, blah, blah, everybody knows this already.
Summary: When Severus visits Italy with Hermione during the summer, he finds that the muggle way of life is a lot more interesting than he would've expected.
How Much You Never Knew
Chapter 3; Feed yourself, cat!
Minerva rushed out of her transfiguration classroom and down to the dungeons, carrying a pair of very sharp scissors in one hand, and a bag full of clothing in the other. Today would be interesting indeed. Albus had assigned her to 'fix' Severus up a bit before he flew off to Italy tomorrow with Hermione, and well...this would not be an easy task. Not because there was that much to do with him, but because he would be against it, no doubt. Even so, she had already decided on several things she could help him out with, and his hair happened to be on the very top of her list. Chopping it off was not something she wanted to do, but trim it at least, and persuade him to give it a wash. Next came his wardrobe. She had picked up some muggle clothing in London that would hopefully set off his stronger features, and do a better job than his heavy robes at helping him adapt to Italy's weather conditions, which would probably be hot at this time of year.
Minerva peeked into her bag, giggling a bit. It had not slipped her mind that the villa was adjacent to a lake, Lake Como in fact, and she had been all too hasty in buying Severus a pair of swim trunks when hearing this. They were black, and a part of her wished that she could see him in them, but she brushed that thought aside when she reached his quarters. She knocked lightly, and was greeted a minute or so later with a very disheveled Severus who glared at her, knowing what she was up to.
Severus sat hunched over at a table in his library. He had been up all night grading leftover exams, and had finally finished just before he fell asleep in his chair with his head on the book Moste Potente Potions. When Tes had decided that it was time for him to wake up, she jumped onto his lap and began to knead her claws into his legs like usual. When this didn't work, she kneaded harder, and that got him going.
"Damnit Tes!" he shouted in surprise, "what is this! Your idea of a wake up call?" She meowed loudly at him, and ran over to her empty food bowl. "Feed me, pet me, feed me," he mumbled. "Why don't you just learn to feed yourself, cat." She ignored him and kept meowing until her bowl was filled. Then, just as she was about to start eating, she sat back and stared at her other bowl. "What, you want water too?" He picked up her water bowl and moseyed over to the sink. Tes proceeded in biting his ankles the entire way there for being too slow. He could almost hear her shouting Move it, you lazy ass! Finally, now that she was fed and watered, Severus might actually be able to get some sleep.
Knock, knock, knock.
He was sadly mistaken. What now? He walked over to the door, not even bothering to smooth his messy hair, and was none too pleased to find that the disturbance was Professor McGonagall. He knew what she was up to.
"Minerva, no, I will not go through with this."
"Severus, please. This was not my idea, and I have no more desire to do this than you do."
He smirked at her. "It certainly doesn't seem that way. In fact, seeing that large bag of clothing you've got, I have half a mind to think that you've enjoyed shopping for me, have you not? We both know that muggle clothing was not said to be mandatory for this mission."
"I was only trying to make sure that this trip would be enjoyable for you!" she shot at him. "Come July, it will have gotten so hot in those heavy robes of yours, you won't be able to breathe!" He glowered at her, but knowing she was right, he beckoned her inside to begin her work. He took a seat in his ancient armchair and kicked his legs out in front of him.
"So, what are you going to do to me?" he asked, as if it were some terrible punishment. She set her bag down on his table.
"Well, there isn't much. These are for you," she gestured at the bag, "but mainly, I wanted to do something with your hair." She suddenly had Snape's full attention.
"Excuse me, my hair?" he breathed. Minerva was switching her weight from foot to foot, obviously expecting an outburst from him.
"Yes, your,... your hair."
"We are not cutting it," he stated firmly.
"Oh, of course not. I just meant give it a trim. Maybe try a different style, I don't know, just something." She smiled at him nervously. He looked over at the fire place, thinking intently. Should I give this woman a shot? Should I even let her touch my hair? It wasn't like he really cared about his looks, but he hated the thought of Minerva making him look like some... student! Especially when he was leaving tomorrow and would have no time to fix himself if she did just that.
"Severus, really, it grows back, it's only hair."
"All right, fine, but if you mess up, you will never lay a hand on my head again."
"Sounds fair enough." She motioned for him to sit at the table. He eyed her scissors like a dead animal, and she took the ends of his hair in her hands. But then, upon feeling it, she actually began to run her fingers through it--several times, in fact.
"Something interesting, Minerva?" he drawled.
"Severus, do you charm your hair? To look, well...greasy, I mean? Because it doesn't exactly feel greasy, it just looks it."
"Yes, I do. Why, does it bother you?"
"Well, it isn't exactly the best way to do your hair." Snape turned to look at her.
"Minerva, I don't charm it to look pleasant. It simply augments my ghastly appearance, which keeps my students from getting too close."
She just chuckled. "All right Severus, but from now on, or at least until September, you're not going to charm it, as you won't be teaching any classes. Understood? You're going to make these people like you."
Snape noted that she seemed slightly more confident now that she was holding a pair of scissors. "Whatever you say."
Hermione was woken up by a hard shake.
"'Mione...'Mione...'MIONE! Wake up!" Ron shook her shoulders roughly.
"Hmm, jus' five mo' mi--" ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
"WAKE UP!"
"WHAT! What Ron, what do you want?" she said, bolting up from the couch. Ron had shouted in her ear.
"I wanted you to wake up. You fell asleep in the common room again." He gave her a skeptical father type stare. "I thought you were going to stop all this studying. Look Hermione, exams are over for this year. Repeat it with me. School. Exams. Are. Ooooovvveeerrrrrrrrrrrr." She threw a pillow in his face, laughing tiredly.
"Shut up, I know that."
"Then what were you looking up, huh?" He sat down next to her on the couch.
She showed him her book How To Tolerate The Intolerable, A Guide To The Etiquette You Never Knew You'd Need. She had nearly finished the book when she fell asleep right on it.
"Still worrying about Snape, are you?" She nodded, and he wrapped his arm around her. "Don't worry, it'll pass. It's only three months ("Nooooo") after all"
"Ron, you aren't helping. You could at least try to euphemize this for me," she pouted into his shoulder. "Just tell me it's a dream that I'll wake up from before we leave Hogwarts tomorrow." He turned to grab both of her shoulders, and gazed at her seriously.
"Hermione, this is just a dream, and you're going to wake up from it before we leave Hogwarts tomorrow."
"Ooooh, that doesn't help either. I'm just going to die!" she cried, flopping back onto the couch, and throwing her hand to her forehead dramatically. Ron saw that her shirt had come up a bit, showing her belly button. He poked her stomach with his index finger. She jumped up, squealing in surprise, and not even a minute later they found themselves immersed in a tickle fight.
Oh no, what has she done with me? Snape thought before looking in the mirror. Minerva had just finished her little experiment and he was none too thrilled. He got up out of his chair and sneaked over to a large mirror that hung above his fireplace. Upon glancing at it he was sure he would look just terrible, just---hey, I look...good. Wait, make that damn good! And I feel good too.
Now, instead of having simply a greasy, flat mop, his hair now looked polished. It was in a ponytail---a manly ponytail---which gave him more of a professional look. "Do you like it?" Minerva asked, beaming at her handiwork. He smoothed the sides, and shot a surly face at the mirror.
"Well, looks like I can keep it out of my face." He turned to her. "Yes Minerva, I do like it." He gave a sort of half smile, but turned to the floor.
"Severus, what's wrong?" He tried to run a finger through his hair, but stopped when he realized, he couldn't. Then he stalked over to his bookshelf, running his fingers along the bindings instead. He was trying to find the words.
"Minerva, have you ever been assigned a mission like this? I mean, I'm getting thrown into a situation with these muggles , and I really don't know what I'm going do while I'm with them. I'm not all confidence and sarcasm. I do get insecure from time to time, as inconceivable as that may seem." He drew his hand away from the bindings. "But then, I have no desire to let Albus down either."
"Severus, I know you may not want to hear this right now, but... maybe... you should just let Hermione lead. She's a very smart young lady, and I'm sure she'll be very understanding if you just mention your concerns to her. I truly don't think she'll just leave you in the dark to figure things out for yourself. Maybe,... maybe if you just... give her a chance to teach you something, you might find that you learn a lot."
"Do you really think so? Do you really think that she'll understand. It would be so like a teenager to just go and ditch me for someone more exciting."
"Severus, she isn't like a normal teenager. I would think that after six years, you had figured that out already."
