...
*has nothing to say yet*
CHAPTER THIRTEEN - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"They're moving too slowly."
Bryan's pale eyes rolled. Abandoning the task of attempting to sit without injuring his ankle further, the older youth leaned forward on his crutches to regard Ivan with an expression of exasperation.
"Too slowly? Kiselev, just five, six days ago, you were telling me that the worst thing to do, and I quote, would be to 'rush true love.' Are you suffering from mood swings again?"
Huffing at the good-natured jibe, the indigo-haired boy crossed his arms in mock indignation. He was about to retaliate with a wisecrack of his own, when Sergei, the more levelheaded one of the group, interrupted what was bound to escalate into an all-out 'Yo Mama' war.
"What do you mean, Ivan?"
Shooting a look at Bryan that clearly said, 'Just you wait,' Ivan turned to his spiky-haired elder. "Well, it's Wednesday. Tala and Kai have already spent, what, three hours together? Alone? And by the time we next see our dear redheaded friend, it'll be six hours. And what have they done? According to Tala, so far they've talked. About religion. And the existence of God. How exactly is he going to ask Kai out when they're in the middle of a philosophical discussion?"
"He can ask Kai how he feels about an older guy dating a younger guy," offered Bryan, grinning.
Now it was Ivan's turn to roll his eyes. "Seriously, man. They're moving too slowly."
"We've established that, already," interjected Sergei. "So, what? And please don't say--"
"I have a plan."
"Damnit."
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
'So, that's about it. See you Friday, same time, same place, Hiwatari.'
The impassive words Tala had spoken a mere five minutes ago to his silver-haired teammate reverberated in his head as he walked towards the great, stone fountain that sporadically spat water at anyone unfamiliar with the Bakuten City Central Park. He had agreed to meet with Sergei, Bryan and Ivan there after the practice session with Kai, but now the redhead wanted to do nothing more but go home, grab a pillow and scream into it until the self-loathing disappeared. How could he have been so unfeeling, so cold to his (dare he say it) crush?
Maybe it had been that talk they had had two days previous.
'What are you, my shrink?'
The redhead inwardly winced at the animosity that he remembered had accompanied Kai's abrupt end to the debate. The younger teen obviously had problems relating to others; who was Tala to make it any worse by telling the garnet-eyed youth that he might actually have a 'thing' for him?
Admittedly, he was beautiful...
'That's enough of that.'
Tala forced his mind along a less romantic and wishy-washy path as he neared his friends. Ivan and Bryan's banter was unmistakable from this distance, and the blue-eyed senior banished all thoughts of Kai from his head as he prepared for another outing with his comrades.
Who were all grinning like the cats that had caught canaries. No, more like the cats that had taken over the poultry farm. What was going on?
"Sooo, Tala. What're you doing Friday?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wednesday, March 23
Apathy has always been my strong suit, in more than one way.
Firstly, I'm very good at it. That goes without saying.
Secondly, I wear it around me like a suit of armor.
Hurray for (inane) puns.
...I am in no mood to write a diary entry right now. On the other hand, procrastination will only bring more strife. What has this world come to, I ask.
For one, I think I have a crush. That in itself is disturbing enough to force me to pummel some unfortunate inanimate (or animate, it really doesn't make a difference) into a greasy little spot on the floor. But whatever sadistic puppeteer playing me like a pawn won't stop at that, now will they. Oh, no. They have to make it so my heart, or stomach, or what-have-you... flutters, yes, flutters, sickeningly whenever I see him.
I hate my life.
Now, I'm not the most open person in the world. I'll be the first to admit that I'm also one of the least approachable people you'll ever not meet. I have problems with expressing my emotions to others, and I know it well.
I suppose that would account for the way my voice drops several degrees in temperature whenever I speak to one Tala Ivanov.
I suppose it would also account for the harsh, emotionless way I act around him.
As hard as it is for me to admit it, I can honestly say that I, Kai Hiwatari, am...
Scared.
Yeah. Scared. Let it be noted that I've just used slang in my writing, which is always a sure sign that I'm not quite in control of my mind at the moment.
I'm scared. Afraid, if you will. Terrified, even. Of what, I'm not sure. Getting close to somebody would be right up there on the list, because, as idiotic and clichéd as it sounds, everybody I've ever gotten close to has been either a lie, or is now dead. Being hurt, I can see. Being vulnerable, definitely. I hate the feeling of being helpless, at the mercy of another, trusting anybody, even. And isn't love, dating, relationships and all that all about trust?
And when did what I... feel for Ta- Ivanov become classified as love?
This is pointless.
I'm running 'round in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. I believe some fittingly angsty, completely unrelated and thus therapeutic poetry is in order.
'Empty skies tonight
No light for the wand'rer
Empty skies tonight
No light for the earth
No little lamps to guide the sailor
Where now is the silver gaze?
Electric suns, once bright and glaring
Lost to cold, impassive haze
I cannot see through to morning
I cannot see through to day
Why has the chariot of fire abandoned us
To these shadows of grey?
I'm lost, alone
The night forms islands
I'm lost, alone
Floating free
Where are the saviours?
Where is the hope?
Why am I blind and helpless?
I'm lost, alone
Waiting for somebody, waiting for light
Empty skies tonight'
I'm feeling better now, and am finally thinking clearly. Where was I...? Ah. Right.
I think I'm over-reacting. Like everything else, this pathetic little crush will dissipate with time.
Emotions are, after all, for the weak. Only the feeble and frail allow themselves to be engulfed by it, allow themselves to be conquered by their own inability to erect shields against it. Emotion clouds judgment and affects your ability to function. It's blinding, and debilitating.
And I will never allow myself to succumb to it.
All that is to be done is wait. Wait for my emotions to settle, wait for my mind to overcome my metaphorical heart. And then it will be over, and I will move on.
Sounds like a plan.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tala blinked. Whatever his friends had been planning, this wasn't what he had expected.
"What am I doing Friday?" he repeated, dumbfounded. "Uh... Training. With Ka- Hiwatari."
Sergei hid the twinkle of amusement in his eye at Tala's stutter. Ivan was not quite as subtle in his glee, and disguised his chuckle as a coughing fit.
Bryan merely arched a brow, before speaking again. He had been chosen (read: forced) to put Phase 1 of Ivan's 'brilliant' plan into action by default (Sergei had flatly refused, and was too big to be challenged to the arm-wrestling match that was the accepted form of argument-solving in their group, and Ivan had cheated by kicking Bryan under the table).
"Yeah, well, we're planning on going to see the Lord of the Rings matinee at the Odeon Theatre. You're going, right?"
"I just told you, I can't. I've got training. I can't just call it off because of a movie!"
Bingo. Bryan glanced at Ivan out of the corner of his eye. 5, 4, 3, 2...
"Hey! I've got an idea!" exclaimed the shorter boy, his maniacal cackle carefully masked. "Why don't you just bring Hiwatari along?"
Tala blinked once, twice. "And how would that help his training...?"
"He's gotta get used to his teammates! A little outing with four of the veterans should do the trick."
"Ivan's got a point," offered Sergei, feigning thoughtfulness.
Now, the redhead's eyes narrowed. There was something wrong with this scenario... It seemed a little staged. Bryan saw this, and inwardly winced, the gears in his mind clicking frantically. What could the pale-haired boy say to convince his friend that they weren't plotting against him when they actually were?
'Think, Kuznetsov, think.' And then, it hit him.
"I'll pay."
End Phase 1.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
To be Continued
I finally have a (albeit, very, very rough) storyline sketchie thing! Whoooo! Gimme five, man!
RESPONSES TO CHAPTER TWELVE REVIEWS
Disengage: Simplicity is often underrated. It's amazing how a few different perspectives and a shift in writing styles can completely turn an otherwise idiotic story around. For instance, look at 'The View from Saturday', by E.L. Konigsburg. The damn book possesses one of the most boring plots in the world, and yet, it won a Newberry Medal, because Konigsburg's just a brilliant writer. Or maybe that just proves that all awards are rigged. Huh. Anyway, thanks for the review and the criticism!
Shadows of Grey: Whoa. I just realized that I used your name in Kai's little ranting-poem-thing. Weird. Your teachers have senses of humour?! *blinks in surprise* And here I thought they were all brain- dead zombies. Major fake-out. Uh... Your welcome?
Nights Child: Tala? A cross-dressing, schizophrenic eunuch? I'm scarred. oO Soccer for us doesn't start until May, or so. Lucky, lucky you. Yeah, thinking hurts. *twitch*
Undead Warrior: Yes, I love your name. It's better than mine, but I'm too lazy to change it. Heh. I do believe a sonic flash relationship would leave one with a one hell of a headache.
Artemis347: How can I get annoyed? You reviewed! Lalala! *prances about as if she's on that My Little Pony shop* Eeem... At most, three more chapters. At most.
The Midnight Shadows: It was a preview type thing, so I've seen the first two eppies. And Kai eats grass! Haha! XD The picture on my profile is one of the greatest fanarts I've ever seen. Japanese fanartists are, like, mind-boggling. *mind boggle*
Kai-Jermin: Dude, that sucks. A boa, a python, and a lizard with babies? Can I have one? I want one so badly... *pathetic sigh* Although I don't envy you for getting bitten. Sounds painful. Alas.
Kitsune: Don't we all? *yells to sky* Yo! Dude! You up there?!
Angelgirl10: Well, now I have my almighty storyline sketchie thing! Haha! *holds it aloft* The key was meant to be a disconnected metaphor, of sorts. Uh. Really. I made you think? Sorry, didn't mean to. XD
Vampyre Neko: Faves are good! *nodnod* I meant end note as in the note at the end of the chapter, not at the end of the fic itself. Six deities? Uh... I have trouble understanding one. I feel for you. *twitch* Thanks for the run-down on Zeo, He sounds like he has issues. He beat Kai?! *angry, nonsensical muttering* An enchilada is a really tasty Mexican food! I think! Unless I ordered the wrong thing. Which actually would explain why the waiter was staring at me. Whoopsie.
Silverjustice: You haven't seen the first season? I've seen, what, three-quarters of it? And a bit? Whatever. Whoo! Go us! I've seen the Saint Shields arc, and that's about... it. Alas, alack. Manipulation is better than murder, I suppose.
BlackX: I'm sporadic and insane. Thus, my updates are sporadic and insane. Whee! Kai does seem the type to brood, doesn't he? Especially about things he can't understand. Sadly, he is but a fictional character. My love is unrequited.
Stork: HAHAHA! Mind if I quote you on that? So bloody true...
Phoenix the 1st: Thanks for your honesty. Yeeah... Maybe I'll rewrite that chapter. *thinks* Nah. XD Too lazy. I like to write. It's how I calm myself, and you've gotta admit, torturing anime characters is all too much fun.
Angry Angel: They are delicious. Enchiladas, I mean. I see Bryan and Ivan as having a little-brother/big-brother relationship of sorts, and I've always enjoyed writing a good nonsensical dialogue. I often wonder myself if there is a puppeteer yanking our strings, and I guess I just needed to get it out there.
Lyn/Lin: It is. It's so much neater and jagged than mine... It can take hours. XD
Sarcasmcat: I'm seriously glad you do. *dances around in the rain*
DragonBlade: I know... Doesn't it make you just want to grab the little buggers and glomp the life out of them?! Although, they're probably like a foot taller than me.
'The shadows lie not in the night, but in the heart and mind of the human.'
Just something to think about. Valete, amici et amicae!
Tell me the language that's in, and I'll give you a jack-in-the-box monkey.
*has nothing to say yet*
CHAPTER THIRTEEN - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"They're moving too slowly."
Bryan's pale eyes rolled. Abandoning the task of attempting to sit without injuring his ankle further, the older youth leaned forward on his crutches to regard Ivan with an expression of exasperation.
"Too slowly? Kiselev, just five, six days ago, you were telling me that the worst thing to do, and I quote, would be to 'rush true love.' Are you suffering from mood swings again?"
Huffing at the good-natured jibe, the indigo-haired boy crossed his arms in mock indignation. He was about to retaliate with a wisecrack of his own, when Sergei, the more levelheaded one of the group, interrupted what was bound to escalate into an all-out 'Yo Mama' war.
"What do you mean, Ivan?"
Shooting a look at Bryan that clearly said, 'Just you wait,' Ivan turned to his spiky-haired elder. "Well, it's Wednesday. Tala and Kai have already spent, what, three hours together? Alone? And by the time we next see our dear redheaded friend, it'll be six hours. And what have they done? According to Tala, so far they've talked. About religion. And the existence of God. How exactly is he going to ask Kai out when they're in the middle of a philosophical discussion?"
"He can ask Kai how he feels about an older guy dating a younger guy," offered Bryan, grinning.
Now it was Ivan's turn to roll his eyes. "Seriously, man. They're moving too slowly."
"We've established that, already," interjected Sergei. "So, what? And please don't say--"
"I have a plan."
"Damnit."
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
'So, that's about it. See you Friday, same time, same place, Hiwatari.'
The impassive words Tala had spoken a mere five minutes ago to his silver-haired teammate reverberated in his head as he walked towards the great, stone fountain that sporadically spat water at anyone unfamiliar with the Bakuten City Central Park. He had agreed to meet with Sergei, Bryan and Ivan there after the practice session with Kai, but now the redhead wanted to do nothing more but go home, grab a pillow and scream into it until the self-loathing disappeared. How could he have been so unfeeling, so cold to his (dare he say it) crush?
Maybe it had been that talk they had had two days previous.
'What are you, my shrink?'
The redhead inwardly winced at the animosity that he remembered had accompanied Kai's abrupt end to the debate. The younger teen obviously had problems relating to others; who was Tala to make it any worse by telling the garnet-eyed youth that he might actually have a 'thing' for him?
Admittedly, he was beautiful...
'That's enough of that.'
Tala forced his mind along a less romantic and wishy-washy path as he neared his friends. Ivan and Bryan's banter was unmistakable from this distance, and the blue-eyed senior banished all thoughts of Kai from his head as he prepared for another outing with his comrades.
Who were all grinning like the cats that had caught canaries. No, more like the cats that had taken over the poultry farm. What was going on?
"Sooo, Tala. What're you doing Friday?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wednesday, March 23
Apathy has always been my strong suit, in more than one way.
Firstly, I'm very good at it. That goes without saying.
Secondly, I wear it around me like a suit of armor.
Hurray for (inane) puns.
...I am in no mood to write a diary entry right now. On the other hand, procrastination will only bring more strife. What has this world come to, I ask.
For one, I think I have a crush. That in itself is disturbing enough to force me to pummel some unfortunate inanimate (or animate, it really doesn't make a difference) into a greasy little spot on the floor. But whatever sadistic puppeteer playing me like a pawn won't stop at that, now will they. Oh, no. They have to make it so my heart, or stomach, or what-have-you... flutters, yes, flutters, sickeningly whenever I see him.
I hate my life.
Now, I'm not the most open person in the world. I'll be the first to admit that I'm also one of the least approachable people you'll ever not meet. I have problems with expressing my emotions to others, and I know it well.
I suppose that would account for the way my voice drops several degrees in temperature whenever I speak to one Tala Ivanov.
I suppose it would also account for the harsh, emotionless way I act around him.
As hard as it is for me to admit it, I can honestly say that I, Kai Hiwatari, am...
Scared.
Yeah. Scared. Let it be noted that I've just used slang in my writing, which is always a sure sign that I'm not quite in control of my mind at the moment.
I'm scared. Afraid, if you will. Terrified, even. Of what, I'm not sure. Getting close to somebody would be right up there on the list, because, as idiotic and clichéd as it sounds, everybody I've ever gotten close to has been either a lie, or is now dead. Being hurt, I can see. Being vulnerable, definitely. I hate the feeling of being helpless, at the mercy of another, trusting anybody, even. And isn't love, dating, relationships and all that all about trust?
And when did what I... feel for Ta- Ivanov become classified as love?
This is pointless.
I'm running 'round in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. I believe some fittingly angsty, completely unrelated and thus therapeutic poetry is in order.
'Empty skies tonight
No light for the wand'rer
Empty skies tonight
No light for the earth
No little lamps to guide the sailor
Where now is the silver gaze?
Electric suns, once bright and glaring
Lost to cold, impassive haze
I cannot see through to morning
I cannot see through to day
Why has the chariot of fire abandoned us
To these shadows of grey?
I'm lost, alone
The night forms islands
I'm lost, alone
Floating free
Where are the saviours?
Where is the hope?
Why am I blind and helpless?
I'm lost, alone
Waiting for somebody, waiting for light
Empty skies tonight'
I'm feeling better now, and am finally thinking clearly. Where was I...? Ah. Right.
I think I'm over-reacting. Like everything else, this pathetic little crush will dissipate with time.
Emotions are, after all, for the weak. Only the feeble and frail allow themselves to be engulfed by it, allow themselves to be conquered by their own inability to erect shields against it. Emotion clouds judgment and affects your ability to function. It's blinding, and debilitating.
And I will never allow myself to succumb to it.
All that is to be done is wait. Wait for my emotions to settle, wait for my mind to overcome my metaphorical heart. And then it will be over, and I will move on.
Sounds like a plan.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tala blinked. Whatever his friends had been planning, this wasn't what he had expected.
"What am I doing Friday?" he repeated, dumbfounded. "Uh... Training. With Ka- Hiwatari."
Sergei hid the twinkle of amusement in his eye at Tala's stutter. Ivan was not quite as subtle in his glee, and disguised his chuckle as a coughing fit.
Bryan merely arched a brow, before speaking again. He had been chosen (read: forced) to put Phase 1 of Ivan's 'brilliant' plan into action by default (Sergei had flatly refused, and was too big to be challenged to the arm-wrestling match that was the accepted form of argument-solving in their group, and Ivan had cheated by kicking Bryan under the table).
"Yeah, well, we're planning on going to see the Lord of the Rings matinee at the Odeon Theatre. You're going, right?"
"I just told you, I can't. I've got training. I can't just call it off because of a movie!"
Bingo. Bryan glanced at Ivan out of the corner of his eye. 5, 4, 3, 2...
"Hey! I've got an idea!" exclaimed the shorter boy, his maniacal cackle carefully masked. "Why don't you just bring Hiwatari along?"
Tala blinked once, twice. "And how would that help his training...?"
"He's gotta get used to his teammates! A little outing with four of the veterans should do the trick."
"Ivan's got a point," offered Sergei, feigning thoughtfulness.
Now, the redhead's eyes narrowed. There was something wrong with this scenario... It seemed a little staged. Bryan saw this, and inwardly winced, the gears in his mind clicking frantically. What could the pale-haired boy say to convince his friend that they weren't plotting against him when they actually were?
'Think, Kuznetsov, think.' And then, it hit him.
"I'll pay."
End Phase 1.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
To be Continued
I finally have a (albeit, very, very rough) storyline sketchie thing! Whoooo! Gimme five, man!
RESPONSES TO CHAPTER TWELVE REVIEWS
Disengage: Simplicity is often underrated. It's amazing how a few different perspectives and a shift in writing styles can completely turn an otherwise idiotic story around. For instance, look at 'The View from Saturday', by E.L. Konigsburg. The damn book possesses one of the most boring plots in the world, and yet, it won a Newberry Medal, because Konigsburg's just a brilliant writer. Or maybe that just proves that all awards are rigged. Huh. Anyway, thanks for the review and the criticism!
Shadows of Grey: Whoa. I just realized that I used your name in Kai's little ranting-poem-thing. Weird. Your teachers have senses of humour?! *blinks in surprise* And here I thought they were all brain- dead zombies. Major fake-out. Uh... Your welcome?
Nights Child: Tala? A cross-dressing, schizophrenic eunuch? I'm scarred. oO Soccer for us doesn't start until May, or so. Lucky, lucky you. Yeah, thinking hurts. *twitch*
Undead Warrior: Yes, I love your name. It's better than mine, but I'm too lazy to change it. Heh. I do believe a sonic flash relationship would leave one with a one hell of a headache.
Artemis347: How can I get annoyed? You reviewed! Lalala! *prances about as if she's on that My Little Pony shop* Eeem... At most, three more chapters. At most.
The Midnight Shadows: It was a preview type thing, so I've seen the first two eppies. And Kai eats grass! Haha! XD The picture on my profile is one of the greatest fanarts I've ever seen. Japanese fanartists are, like, mind-boggling. *mind boggle*
Kai-Jermin: Dude, that sucks. A boa, a python, and a lizard with babies? Can I have one? I want one so badly... *pathetic sigh* Although I don't envy you for getting bitten. Sounds painful. Alas.
Kitsune: Don't we all? *yells to sky* Yo! Dude! You up there?!
Angelgirl10: Well, now I have my almighty storyline sketchie thing! Haha! *holds it aloft* The key was meant to be a disconnected metaphor, of sorts. Uh. Really. I made you think? Sorry, didn't mean to. XD
Vampyre Neko: Faves are good! *nodnod* I meant end note as in the note at the end of the chapter, not at the end of the fic itself. Six deities? Uh... I have trouble understanding one. I feel for you. *twitch* Thanks for the run-down on Zeo, He sounds like he has issues. He beat Kai?! *angry, nonsensical muttering* An enchilada is a really tasty Mexican food! I think! Unless I ordered the wrong thing. Which actually would explain why the waiter was staring at me. Whoopsie.
Silverjustice: You haven't seen the first season? I've seen, what, three-quarters of it? And a bit? Whatever. Whoo! Go us! I've seen the Saint Shields arc, and that's about... it. Alas, alack. Manipulation is better than murder, I suppose.
BlackX: I'm sporadic and insane. Thus, my updates are sporadic and insane. Whee! Kai does seem the type to brood, doesn't he? Especially about things he can't understand. Sadly, he is but a fictional character. My love is unrequited.
Stork: HAHAHA! Mind if I quote you on that? So bloody true...
Phoenix the 1st: Thanks for your honesty. Yeeah... Maybe I'll rewrite that chapter. *thinks* Nah. XD Too lazy. I like to write. It's how I calm myself, and you've gotta admit, torturing anime characters is all too much fun.
Angry Angel: They are delicious. Enchiladas, I mean. I see Bryan and Ivan as having a little-brother/big-brother relationship of sorts, and I've always enjoyed writing a good nonsensical dialogue. I often wonder myself if there is a puppeteer yanking our strings, and I guess I just needed to get it out there.
Lyn/Lin: It is. It's so much neater and jagged than mine... It can take hours. XD
Sarcasmcat: I'm seriously glad you do. *dances around in the rain*
DragonBlade: I know... Doesn't it make you just want to grab the little buggers and glomp the life out of them?! Although, they're probably like a foot taller than me.
'The shadows lie not in the night, but in the heart and mind of the human.'
Just something to think about. Valete, amici et amicae!
Tell me the language that's in, and I'll give you a jack-in-the-box monkey.
