*Notes: This is really weird. I typed it up to help me study for a History Test, then decided to post it. ^^' If you want to get some nice healthy doses of History with an occasional interruption from random ppl, feel free to read.*

Teaching History:

~~*~~

Me: Yo! Listen up!

Sanosuke: *slightly muffled because of the fish bone in his mouth* What is it?

Me: Did you know I have a History test on the American Revolution??

Yahiko: The Ame-ican whazziz? (Spelling error on purpose. Do you think he'd be able to say "America" on his first try?)

Me: *sigh* It's the war which led America to become a nation of it's own.

Yahiko: America is a nation? Where is it? (0_o)

Me: It's located in the continent of North America. Ya' know? Along with Canada? And _____?!

Yahiko: Huh?

Me: You've heard of England at least, right?

Kaoru: I think so. It was mentioned in the newspaper once or twice; representatives from that nation have come to Japan to discuss trade and such I think.

(( ^ Made up. However, that probably happened some time in history))

Me: Yes. Over a 100 years ago, people from Britain and other places had moved to the land that was going to be known as "America". They moved to escape famine, religious persecution, etc. Around 113 years ago*, an Act known as the Stamp Act was placed on the people living in the colonies. The Act was of course ordered from England, who still held control over them. The Stamp Act meant that the people would have to pay taxes for all the stamps they used.

*((In the timeline of RK, it is 1878 when Kenshin was living with Kaoru & the rest of the K-gumi, so as I am talking to them, I am using their year. The events listed actually happened about 238 years ago, as this year is 2003.))*

Yahiko: But why was that so bad? Isn't it only fair?

Me: Well....^_^' A war between France and England, known as the French and Indian War-

Kaoru: But didn't you say it was a war between France and England? What is the "Indian" for?

Me: It's actually pretty stupid. The French and most of the Native Americans, also known as Indians, sided together against England. They lost.

Sanosuke: Bummer for them.

Me: ^_^' Yeah. Well, for some reason it's called the "French and Indian War", even though they were allies. Well, as I was saying, Britain/England won, but it had lost a lot of money due to the costs of war. Because of the war, lots of their money was gone, so they wanted to tax the Colonists a lot so they could get the money back.

Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker:
War! huh-yeah
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again y'all

War! huh good God
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me?

Ohhh? War! I despise
Because it means destruction?
Of innocent lives
War means tears
to thousands of mothers eyes
When their sons go to fight
and lose their lives

I said - War! Huh Good God y'all
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing
Say it again

K-gumi & Me: 0_o'' .... X_X' .... @_@ .... *_* .... 0_o ..... +__+'

*Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker bow and hop away*

Me: Oro.

Kenshin: What did I tell you about using my word?!

Me: -__-' Fine. Ara.

Kenshin: 0_0

Me: Ok, what was I saying? Oh yeah, the Stamp Act was in 1765. They placed the Acts to collect money to repay for debts caused of their war. Anyway, Yahiko, it wasn't fair because the stamps weren't just for letters or anything, they were for anything that was a printed material! You had to buy stamps and place it on everything, like newspapers, legal documents, even playing cards.

Sanosuke: Damn! 0_o

Me: ^_^' Yeah, exactly! So the colonists got mad, of course. They complained and kept saying "no taxation without representation".

Kaoru: Oh. (That sounds bad.)

Me: (I know). Well, Britain didn't exactly want all the Colonists to get up in their faces, so they lifted the Stamp Act.

Yahiko: And.....?

Me: So the Stamp Act was gone... But then they put down another Act that made you pay tax for glass, paint, paper and tea. -_-'

Kenshin: D'oh!

Me: 0_o' Then do I get Oro now?

*Homer Simpson rips a hole in cyberspace and thunders after Kenshin*

Homer: YOU DIRTY LITTLE- *chokes Kenshin*

Kenshin: WUAHHHGHHH! *gags*

Kaoru: Kenshin!

Me: AH! STOPPIT! *boots Homer to outer space where he explodes and rains donuts down on Russia*

Me: ......Shall I continue?

*The K-gumi nods*

Sanosuke: *thinking* I wonder what other freaks will show up after this little history lesson is over...

Me: *coughs* Erm...oh yes, the tax on paper, paint, glass, and tea. This was called the Townshend Acts, and it was placed in 1767. And ya know, why did the British think this would help? They'd only get madder.

Kaoru: Mou! The injustice! *thinks about her own tax paying days* Grrr....

Me: Yup. So after riots and such, the British took that away too. But then, later on, in 1768, King George the 3rd, who was the current ruler of Britain, sent soldiers to Boston, a city at the Colonies. The Colonies' citizens were a little annoyed, because...

*reaches into her pockets and gets 3 finger puppets. Two are British soldiers, one is a Colonial citizen*

*Puts them on and wiggles them at each other*

*Puts on a high voice*

C.C.: We do not have food to spare! Please go away!

Soldier1: No! FEED ME! I'm hungry!

Soldier2: Yes! Hungry! And I need a nice comfy bed!

C.C.: But I only have enough food for my wife and daughters! And only one bed!

Soldier2: Okay then! Go sleep in the pig sty!

*Makes C.C. cry*

C.C.: Boohoo, boohoo, you boohoos!

*The K-gumi stares at her like she is crazy*

C.C: Go away!

Soldiers: No!

C.C.: Shoo! Shoo!

Soldiers: Nope! We have the rights from the King to be able to eat your food and sleep in your house!

C.C.: D'oh! *flails arms*

*Looks up to see the K-gumi gawking at her*

Me: Heheheh....

Yahiko: Looney.

Me: *coughs* Er...so that was the Quartering Act. The people in the Colonies were forced to let the British soldiers occupy their homes, or quarters.

Sanosuke: Lemme guess. They murdered all the soldiers in their sleep, right?

Me: 0_o'' Wrong. They put up with them, though not without displaying their anger. With all the tension, later on in 1770, the Boston Massacre happened.

*Kenshin looks up*

Kenshin: A massacre?

Me: Ha! ^_^' *waves hands* Don't worry, don't worry, only around five or something people died! ^_^'

Kenshin: -__-'

Me: We don't know for sure, but some guy made a wise crack to the British soldiers to scrub a toilet or something like that. 0_o' Which resulted in the soldiers getting angry and shooting a couple guys.

Kenshin: *thinking* How can she talk about it so lightly? 0_o'

Me: *oblivious* So yeah, in 1770, the Boston Massacre happened. Then later on, in 1773, the Boston Tea Party occured.

Yahiko: 0_o' What's so important about a Tea Party?

Me: It was no ordinary Tea Party. You see, the Townshend Acts had still been going on, but sometime before, I'm afraid I don't know the exact date, all of the taxes were lifted on everything except tea.

Sanosuke: So? At least they didn't tax the Sake, eh? *elbows me*

Me: -__-' They don't have Sake, Sanosuke. Tea was their main drink. So it seemed like a lot to them. Then a bunch of protestors dressed up as Mohawk Indians, boarded a ship transporting tea, and dumped the tea into the harbor. ^_^

Kaoru: How creative.

Me: Yeah.

Yahiko: Bad for the fish, though.

Me: Yup. After that, it was Britain's turn to get angry! *takes out puppets again*

*The K-gumi watches warily*

Soldier1: Gimme back the tea!

Soldier2: Yeah, pay for it!

C.C.: NO! It's your fault for taxing us so much! MWUHAHAHA!

*puts puppets away*

Me: So, all in all, Britain was pissed. They then passed many laws, acts, whatever, and these were called the Intolerable Acts. Some of these acts were that the British closed the Boston Harbor, which prevented trade and imported goods until the Colonies would pay for the cost of the tea they threw overboard.

Kenshin: That sounds fair, de gozaru.

Me: I think so too. I mean, it was a waste of tea. ^^' But they also passed an act that said that nobody, anywhere, could have town meetings without their consent. They also enforced the Quartering Acts some more, and rearranged the Quebec Provinces' borders so that it claimed more land.

Yahiko: Yeah, yeah.

Me: Yes, very boring, ne? However, you need to know about America, because Sanosuke will be traveling there one day!

Sanosuke: Says who?

Me: Says the psychic manga reader. Poosh.

Kaoru: SANOSUKE DON'T GO!! *wails*

Kenshin & Sanosuke: -_-'

Sanosuke: I'm not going anywhere Jou-chan!

Kaoru: Really? *waff*

Me: Stop acting like a cannon pairing! *kicks her over to Kenshin*

*Freezes*

Me: 0_0' I can't believe I just did that! Kaoru, get back over to Sanosuke and leave Kenshin to me!

Kaoru: Okay!

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!?

*Suddenly, a fat baby with a bow and arrow flies down to the dojo*

Kenshin: Hewo widdle baby! What is you doing with a widdle weapon? Googoo gachoo- ORO!

*The baby takes out a cigar and kicks Kenshin in the face*

Cupid: Shut up already! I hate people like you. How's a kid supposed to learn proper English around guys like you?

Kenshin: Oro? I thought we were Japanese?

Me: It's messed up. Don't dwell on it.

*Cupid suddenly points at me*

Cupid: You! You were the one that made Kaoru fall for Sanosuke!

Me: Moi? *flutters eyes innocently*

*Cupid looks like hes gonna barf*

Cupid: Now suffer the consequences!

*Shoots Kaoru*

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!

*Kaoru faces Kenshin*

Kaoru: KENSHIN! *latches onto him and purrs*

Me: (;_;) STOP THAT! (T_T)'

*Kenshin has a weird expression*

Kenshin: Oro....

Cupid: This ain't gonna work.

*Shoots Kenshin*

Me: NooooOOOOOoooooooo!!!!

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono! I love you!

Kaoru: Oh Kenshin! *cries happily*

Me: I'm heartbroken, and sick!

Yahiko: Ditto with the last one.

Me: Your fault! Die, you stupid overweight shrimp!

*Cupid bursts into tears*

Cupid: It's not my fault! I try, but I can't stop eating sugar! Wahahahaaaaaaaa!

*Flies away*

Sanosuke: ....................

Yahiko: ...........

Me: *sniff* Ken..shin...

*Kenshin and Kaoru ignore me*

Me: Ken....shin....

*Still ignoring*

Me: Ken...shin....Ke....KENSHIN HIMURA GET YOUR *** OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Kenshin: Oro?

Kaoru: Teehee, that is so cute!

Kenshin: Really? Oro oro oro oro!

Me: I'M DYING FROM DISGUST AND HEARTBROKEN-NESS! QUIT IT ALREADY!

Kaoru: It's your own fault you know! You're the one who wanted to bring in Cupid to relieve the readers from your History talk.

Me: Oh right, I'm the author! Kaoru, I hearby make your feelings for Kenshin disappear and Kenshin's feelings all towards me! Mwuhaaha!

Kenshin: Wistful-Eyes!

Me: 0_o' *thinking* Maybe I should change my penname so it sounds more normal...

Kenshin: I love you!

Me: XD

*Kenshin leaps towards me*

Me: Wait a sec...this is just too weird. It's only my fic talking! You don't love me! I hearby erase your memories of the Cupid incident!

*Kenshin face-faults to the ground*

Kaoru: Kenshin, what are you doing?

Kenshin: I don't know, Kaoru-dono! Someone must have said something weird.

Me: Aye. Okay, on with history. -__-' (Please please, no more freaks!)

Me: Er...Right! Intolerable Acts! Well, after that, in 1774, the first Continental Congress met!

K-gumi: *Yawn*

Me: I know that already! Boring! Then in 1775, the second C.C. met!

K-gumi: *Yawn*

Me: And in the same year, the Revolutionary War started because of the battle of Lexington! The Colonials and the British faced off. Apparently, the "shot heard around the world" was fired there, but to this day, no one knows who fired the first shot!

K-gumi: *Snore*

Me: 0_o Hey! It's a war! Aren't you interested?

K-gumi: *Snore snore*

Me: Fine! Jeez. The year after that, in 1776, the Declaration of Independence was written, along with a pamphlet called "Common Sense" which I do not remember at all what it was about.

K-gumi: *Snore snore Yawn Snore*

Me: *_*' Er.... And...and after that, the French joined the Colonies to fight against the British.

K-gumi: *Snore snore Honk Yawn Snore*

Me: The heck?! This was actually pretty interesting to me! See, you know how Britain and France seem to be "enemies"? So basically, the French.... *reaches for puppets*

K-gumi: *Snore Yawn Honk Sno-* NO! NO MORE PUPPETS!

Me: ^_^ Too late!

Frenchie: Ze British are ze eevil vones! Let us vee if ve Colonials can defeat thim.

Colonial: Hey hey! We've just won a battle against the British John Burgoyne at Saratoga!

Frenchie: Ze Colonials have von? They have a chance! Ve shall join you in ze vattle! And ze British can kiss our vatoockies!

Me: So after the victory at Saratoga, the French saw that the Colonials might actually win, thus, deciding to join with them!

Yahiko: Cowards. If they wanted to fight the British, they shouldn't have waited until advantage was shown. You're supposed to fight for what you believe in even if there looks like there is no hope! Don't they have any pride?

*Bonks Yahiko*

Me: They were fighting to gain land and money and power. Whaddaya say to that?

Yahiko: Oh.

Kenshin: Not at all like the Revolution here in Japan.

Me: Yup. So, all in all, the French joined the Colonials in 1778. After that, it gets pretty boring for me.

K-gumi: *Snore snore*

Me: In 1781 the Articles of Confederation were written except the Articles of Confederation was a stupid piece of crap because they said you paid taxes only if you wanted to, so whoever came up with that rule is stupid because how the heck would they *deep breath* get money if taxes were voluntary because then no one would pay of course, doofus -plus, they made a bunch of other laws like no single court order so every state had about a completely different system so it was *deep breath* hard to do trials between states and in 1783 the Treaty of Paris was signed in Paris, doi, to signify the end of the Revolution, and after that, America was formed of the 13 Colonies and so then-

K-gumi: *struggling to keep up* *Snore snore snore Yawn Honk honk Snore Yawn yawn Honk Snort-*

Sanosuke: Okay, who snorted? We were on a role!

Kenshin: Sessha did, de gozaru. Sorry.

Me: *face is turning purple* So after a couple of years in 1786 Shays Rebellion happened this guy named Daniel Shays was a farmer and because of the stupid freaking Articles of Confederation said taxes were optional, they were taking away farms for something I don't really know don't listen to me except I got the date and event right but I don't really know anything about this except he was also a farmer and they got angry at the government and-

*POP!*

.......

........

.............

........

....................

Kenshin: Oro.

Yahiko: That's what she gets for trying to talk about history. Its so boring!

Kaoru: Hey! Kenshin made history. You think he is boring?

Yahiko: No, but that was just boring! Was there any Hitokiri Battousai's in the American Revolution? Nooo. Did we dump tea into a harbor? Noooo. It's all just messed up!

Me: *wheezing* I....*wheez* heard *wheez*....that! *falls over*

Sanosuke: Oi, she's still alive!

Kenshin: Let's bury her somewhere so she won't twist us ever again!

K-gumi: 0_o

Kaoru: Kenshin??

Kenshin: That wasn't me talking, de gozaru! It was the author!

*An evil voice chuckles and the K-gumi gasps as the body is gone*

*They look up in the sky to see Giant Evil Me*

Me: HAHAHA! That is right! You will never get rid of me! Even if I am dead and gone, this fic will still be here, and you shall be caught in this freaky trap till the end of time! And I am not the last! There will be others who shall put you in insanity! MWUHAHAHA!

*Pops again*

.........

......

Kenshin: I shall cook dinner, Kaoru-dono?

Kaoru: All right.

Yahiko: Yay! Busu isn't cooking!

Kaoru: Yahiko!

*attacks*

Sanosuke: Make fish, 'k Kenshin? This fish bone is getting worn out.

Kenshin: 0_0'

***Owari***

Hahaha! How did you like that? Seriously, I was writing this to help study for a History Test (I'd read it over after I was done) but I didn't finish it on time. But then since I was half-way through, I decided to just finish it and post it. If you ever have a test coming up on the events that led to the Revolution specifying on the dates, this would be good to read I suppose. ^^' Sorry if all the boring history made you suffer too much.

About everyone thinking that the random peeps who popped up were freaks, I don't really mean it, it was just for humor. True, Homer Simpson is a freak (nice way) and so is Cupid, but Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker aren't freaky. Well, in this fic they were, so gomen nasai to them! ^^'

Also, you know at the last chapter I said I had gotten a brain storm?? Well, I really did. Its just, it will be pretty long I'm guessing so I can't post it yet. So, watch out! Till next time!

Go on! Press the Review button and make me happy. ^^ :P